Chapter 9
They went a week without hearing anything from the owner's of Weasley's Wizard
Wheezes. Colin took it all in stride and used the extra time to go through his
large collection of summer photographs, picking only the best to put in the
portfolio that would accompany him back to Hogwarts. He would have brought them
all but for two simple reasons. One, he had only one trunk in which to fit all
their things and two, he much preferred to give the impression that he took only
good pictures. So out with the blurry pictures, out with the ones that developed
splotches or strange looking colors he was sure hadn't been there when he'd
taken the picture. He also excluded the pictures he felt lacked artistic value.
Having taken no real photography courses, it pretty much boiled down into like
and dislike piles.
Agnes wandered in and out of his life that week, randomly popping by to see if
there was any news, even though they had her phone number. Sometimes she stayed
and helped sort pictures, other times she was on her way to other places. She
generally took the lack of news in a calm manner, which threw Colin off. He
hadn't thought there was a calm bone in her body.
Dennis preferred not to help Colin with the sorting and spent the first few days
of that week pacing around the house, muttering under his breath and looking out
the windows in anticipation of the promised owl. On the third day he lost it
completely, ran out into the back garden with a cricket ball and bat in hand and
started to practice by himself. It went well for a while and the only sound
Colin and Agnes heard was a constant thwacking through the bedroom window, until
it was interrupted three hours later by a crash and the sound of breaking glass.
They didn't have to wait long to find out what happened; a guilty-looking Dennis
appeared in their room, casting nervous glances around him like a crook who knew
there was an orange dye bag in his pants, just waiting to explode. "What'd you
break?" Colin asked conversationally, tossing a few pictures into their assorted
piles.
"Nothing," he answered quickly.
"Dennis!" their mother called.
"Shhh!" Dennis made a cutting motion across his throat. "I'm not here, you
didn't see me!"
Agnes' eyes filled with a mischievous glint. "He's up here, Mrs. Creevey!" She
called innocently and both Dennis and Colin gave her murderous looks. "You
deserved it," she said simply.
"Dennis," Mrs. Creevey pushed the door open. "Mrs. Slatterly wants to speak to
you. She just came over saying you broke her window with a cricket ball." Dennis
winced and followed his mother out of the room.
Colin continued to eye Agnes. "That was mean of you," he groused.
"Yes, it was. But so is feeding an innocent person canary crèmes unawares."
He choked down a laugh and she glared at him hotly. "Sorry, but it's not like
you haven't already gotten us back for that." They'd given her the treat the day
after they'd gone to Diagon Alley and she had immediately turned into a bright,
yellow bird whose squawking was (in Colin's opinion) a definite improvement on
the usual noise. The day after that, though, they finally learned what their
education at the finest wizarding school in the world had failed to teach them:
never underestimate a female's capacity for revenge. She had brought over
freshly baked biscuits that, although they looked and tasted fine, caused the
Creevey brothers to have the runs for days.
Agnes shrugged. "Your mum would have found him anyway. It's best he was caught
sooner."
Colin opened his mouth to make a very indignant reply that would show
beyond a shadow of a doubt where his loyalties lay when the door opened and
Dennis came back into the room and threw a cricket ball hard against the wall.
"It-" the ball banged against the wall, "-would--" SMACK, he caught it, "--have
to-" BANG "-happen-" SMACK "-me!" CRASH. He forgot to catch it and the ball
collided with Colin's desk.
"She didn't want your soul did she?" Colin asked, feigning worry.
"No, despite her resemblance to a dementor, she is, in fact, not one," Dennis
scowled. "She wants me to clean out all of her gutters. Wouldn't even consider
taking all my allowance for the rest of the summer to pay for it."
"All of her gutters?" Mrs. Slatterly had more gutters on her house than the rest
of the street combined.
"Yes," Dennis answered grumpily.
Agnes smiled cheerfully. "At least you won't be bored while waiting for the
Weasley's reply."
Dennis didn't have a hearing aid, but it definitely wanted to be checked. "'At
least I won't be bored?' What do you call cleaning?" He demanded of her.
Had Dennis been allowed to use magic, the gutters would surely have been cleaned
with several well-placed Summoning Charms. Instead, it took the rest of the week
to complete the task. Dennis alternated between cursing Mrs. Slatterly, the
cricket ball, and the Department of Underage Magic. He only stopped when Agnes
added his rotten aim to the list and refused to speak with her until she
apologized and placed the blame firmly on the India Rubber Company for making
cricket balls that lived up to any standards whatsoever. Colin was pretty sure
she was being sarcastic.
The events of that week, though exciting, paled in comparison to the excitement
the sound of fluttering wings caused. Agnes ducked in surprise while Dennis
swept up to meet the owl and detached the piece of parchment from its legs. The
owl hooted, turned around and flew away. Agnes stared after it weakly. "What
was that?"
"The letter we've been waiting for!" Dennis said excitedly.
"It came-by an owl?"
"Well, yes, didn't we tell you about owl post?"
"No, it must have slipped your minds."
"Probably." Dennis unfolded it, cleared his throat and began to read. "'Dear
Misters Colin and Dennis Creevey-' why do you always go first? Am I just a-"
"Read, Dennis!"
"'To this time we have given much thought to your problem with the muggle police
officer. As the solutions needed to be not only effective but aesthetically
pleasing as well, this rather limited our choices. First we considered headless
hats-until we realized that your being headless would not much help the
situation. Then we considered impenetrable lines---only to realize that this
would not only keep the officer out but all other park patrons.'" Dennis paused
in his reading. "That sounds just fine to me. We could have the whole park-"
"Read, Dennis!"
He continued. "'Then, when we had almost given it up as lost, the idea hit us.
And here we have it, the Edgescope. The Edgescope provides amateur mischief-
makers with the needed edge to avoid authority figures by announcing their
presence by emitting a high-pitched squeal. Order your Edgescope today,
available for a limited time at the special low price of 3 galleons, only at
Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, 93 Diagon Alley.
Good luck and may all your mischief be managed,
Fred and George Weasley.
P.S., Fred suggests you learn to run faster.'" Dennis threw the letter down in
disgust. "3 galleons? We hardly have a sickle to our names!"
Colin nodded in agreement as he looked at the letter skeptically. "I spent every
last knut I had at their store."
"Humph. I spent a lot more than that at their store, hoping they'd come up with
something good. And now they want us to pay even more?"
"Maybe we could ask for an advance on our allowance."
"Right, like mum and dad would agree on something like that."
"Well, we could play one of the other. You know, I wish they had at least given
us some free advice for our efforts."
"They did," Agnes told him, "'run faster.' That sounds like sage advice."
Agnes was rapidly descending Dennis' list of likeable people and this showed on
his face. "Look," Agnes continued, "if we get away from him fast enough, he
can't do anything to us and it definitely wouldn't hurt to be in top physical
form while playing Quidditch either. Then you can save your 3 galleons, whatever
that is.""
"Still, we've wasted a whole week in the hope that they would give us a real
device! We could have been training!" Dennis' desperation showed in his voice.
"Oh well! It was a nice break!" Agnes' irritation rose to the surface, too.
"Clearly you don't understand," Colin said, determined to stay calm. "This is
the future of our house team we're talking about. If we don't get some good
beaters, we're finished."
Agnes rolled her eyes. "So? It's just Quidditch."
Dennis' jaw dropped. "Just Quidditch??"
Colin sighed in mock despair. "Clearly, Agnes, you are nothing but a muggle."
She visibly bristled. "Stop calling me that."
Colin felt the bubble of irritation that had grown within him over the
weeks of dealing with Agnes' muggle-sensitivity burst. "Calling you what? A
muggle? That's what you are, isn't it? A muggle. A non-magical person," he
pressed.
She looked at him angrily. "It's not the word, it's the tone you say it
in. Like we're beneath your something, just because we can't do magic."
"I don't say it in that tone," Colin said defensively. "And what does it
matter what tone I say it in? It's still true." She got up out of the chair,
looking royally upset and Colin couldn't help but egg her on a bit more. "You
couldn't do a magic spell or make a potion even if you tried. If anything, we
should be the ones bothering you about the real world, since you seem to spend
very little time in it." He saw Dennis make the kill sign out of the corner of
his eye.
"What do I care about doing magic spells and that sort of thing?' Agnes
shot back. "I could care less about that. You act like you're so special just
because you're a wizard and I'm not but you know something? If all wizards are
so stuck up about being a wizard that they think no non-magical person is even
worthy of knowing about them, then I'm glad I'm not a wizard. We muggles," she
said the word with emphasis, as if daring Colin to say something about it,
"don't act like that." Colin glared at her and opened his mouth to respond but
she cut him off. "What're you going to do? Caste a spell on me? I dare you." She
stood in front of Colin with her hands on her hips. For a moment, Colin sorely
wanted to but Dennis, got up and pulled on his sleeve.
"Come on," he said, "why don't we see if we can't get some practice in
today after all?" But Colin wrenched his arm away out of Dennis' grasp.
"Would you like me to? I could make you completely forget magic even
really exists. Then you wouldn't have to worry about being inferior."
"It's not too late, Agnes! If we go now, we can still get in a good couple
of hours before dinner," Dennis said again, though louder this time.
"Yes, I think I'll go. I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome" Agnes
glared threateningly at Colin and stormed over to the door.
"Er, we won't come then," Dennis called after her, awkwardly. "Thanks for
the help, Agnes." She slammed the door shut in reply.
After she was definitely out of the house, Dennis turned to Colin and gave
him an odd look. "Well, you certainly made an ass out of yourself in there."
"Me? What did I do wrong? She's the one who's constantly bothering us
about magic and the wizarding world, something she has no right to even know
about. The deal was over as soon as I gave her that moving picture." He wrinkled
his nose in disgust, "I'm glad to be rid of her."
"She wasn't that bad," Dennis said casually.
"Really? She didn't bother you with her constant questions or pestering us
about our visits to 'the real world'?"
Dennis shrugged. "Well, yeah, it was a little annoying but still, I can't
see how it's any different than how we were when we found out about it."
"Yeah, but we're wizards and she's-"
"A muggle?"
"Exactly." Suddenly, Colin realized how he sounded. "Oh no," he said,
shutting his eyes tightly. "Please tell me I did not sound like some pure-blood
protectionist in there?"
"Okay, you did not sound like a pure-blood protectionist in there," Dennis
responded immediately.
"Thanks, Dennis. I knew I could count on you." Dennis bowed slightly and
ducked out the door. Colin stood there for a moment, staring at it when Colin
couldn't bear it anymore. "Oh, god I did! I sounded exactly like one of those
pure-blood types."
They went a week without hearing anything from the owner's of Weasley's Wizard
Wheezes. Colin took it all in stride and used the extra time to go through his
large collection of summer photographs, picking only the best to put in the
portfolio that would accompany him back to Hogwarts. He would have brought them
all but for two simple reasons. One, he had only one trunk in which to fit all
their things and two, he much preferred to give the impression that he took only
good pictures. So out with the blurry pictures, out with the ones that developed
splotches or strange looking colors he was sure hadn't been there when he'd
taken the picture. He also excluded the pictures he felt lacked artistic value.
Having taken no real photography courses, it pretty much boiled down into like
and dislike piles.
Agnes wandered in and out of his life that week, randomly popping by to see if
there was any news, even though they had her phone number. Sometimes she stayed
and helped sort pictures, other times she was on her way to other places. She
generally took the lack of news in a calm manner, which threw Colin off. He
hadn't thought there was a calm bone in her body.
Dennis preferred not to help Colin with the sorting and spent the first few days
of that week pacing around the house, muttering under his breath and looking out
the windows in anticipation of the promised owl. On the third day he lost it
completely, ran out into the back garden with a cricket ball and bat in hand and
started to practice by himself. It went well for a while and the only sound
Colin and Agnes heard was a constant thwacking through the bedroom window, until
it was interrupted three hours later by a crash and the sound of breaking glass.
They didn't have to wait long to find out what happened; a guilty-looking Dennis
appeared in their room, casting nervous glances around him like a crook who knew
there was an orange dye bag in his pants, just waiting to explode. "What'd you
break?" Colin asked conversationally, tossing a few pictures into their assorted
piles.
"Nothing," he answered quickly.
"Dennis!" their mother called.
"Shhh!" Dennis made a cutting motion across his throat. "I'm not here, you
didn't see me!"
Agnes' eyes filled with a mischievous glint. "He's up here, Mrs. Creevey!" She
called innocently and both Dennis and Colin gave her murderous looks. "You
deserved it," she said simply.
"Dennis," Mrs. Creevey pushed the door open. "Mrs. Slatterly wants to speak to
you. She just came over saying you broke her window with a cricket ball." Dennis
winced and followed his mother out of the room.
Colin continued to eye Agnes. "That was mean of you," he groused.
"Yes, it was. But so is feeding an innocent person canary crèmes unawares."
He choked down a laugh and she glared at him hotly. "Sorry, but it's not like
you haven't already gotten us back for that." They'd given her the treat the day
after they'd gone to Diagon Alley and she had immediately turned into a bright,
yellow bird whose squawking was (in Colin's opinion) a definite improvement on
the usual noise. The day after that, though, they finally learned what their
education at the finest wizarding school in the world had failed to teach them:
never underestimate a female's capacity for revenge. She had brought over
freshly baked biscuits that, although they looked and tasted fine, caused the
Creevey brothers to have the runs for days.
Agnes shrugged. "Your mum would have found him anyway. It's best he was caught
sooner."
Colin opened his mouth to make a very indignant reply that would show
beyond a shadow of a doubt where his loyalties lay when the door opened and
Dennis came back into the room and threw a cricket ball hard against the wall.
"It-" the ball banged against the wall, "-would--" SMACK, he caught it, "--have
to-" BANG "-happen-" SMACK "-me!" CRASH. He forgot to catch it and the ball
collided with Colin's desk.
"She didn't want your soul did she?" Colin asked, feigning worry.
"No, despite her resemblance to a dementor, she is, in fact, not one," Dennis
scowled. "She wants me to clean out all of her gutters. Wouldn't even consider
taking all my allowance for the rest of the summer to pay for it."
"All of her gutters?" Mrs. Slatterly had more gutters on her house than the rest
of the street combined.
"Yes," Dennis answered grumpily.
Agnes smiled cheerfully. "At least you won't be bored while waiting for the
Weasley's reply."
Dennis didn't have a hearing aid, but it definitely wanted to be checked. "'At
least I won't be bored?' What do you call cleaning?" He demanded of her.
Had Dennis been allowed to use magic, the gutters would surely have been cleaned
with several well-placed Summoning Charms. Instead, it took the rest of the week
to complete the task. Dennis alternated between cursing Mrs. Slatterly, the
cricket ball, and the Department of Underage Magic. He only stopped when Agnes
added his rotten aim to the list and refused to speak with her until she
apologized and placed the blame firmly on the India Rubber Company for making
cricket balls that lived up to any standards whatsoever. Colin was pretty sure
she was being sarcastic.
The events of that week, though exciting, paled in comparison to the excitement
the sound of fluttering wings caused. Agnes ducked in surprise while Dennis
swept up to meet the owl and detached the piece of parchment from its legs. The
owl hooted, turned around and flew away. Agnes stared after it weakly. "What
was that?"
"The letter we've been waiting for!" Dennis said excitedly.
"It came-by an owl?"
"Well, yes, didn't we tell you about owl post?"
"No, it must have slipped your minds."
"Probably." Dennis unfolded it, cleared his throat and began to read. "'Dear
Misters Colin and Dennis Creevey-' why do you always go first? Am I just a-"
"Read, Dennis!"
"'To this time we have given much thought to your problem with the muggle police
officer. As the solutions needed to be not only effective but aesthetically
pleasing as well, this rather limited our choices. First we considered headless
hats-until we realized that your being headless would not much help the
situation. Then we considered impenetrable lines---only to realize that this
would not only keep the officer out but all other park patrons.'" Dennis paused
in his reading. "That sounds just fine to me. We could have the whole park-"
"Read, Dennis!"
He continued. "'Then, when we had almost given it up as lost, the idea hit us.
And here we have it, the Edgescope. The Edgescope provides amateur mischief-
makers with the needed edge to avoid authority figures by announcing their
presence by emitting a high-pitched squeal. Order your Edgescope today,
available for a limited time at the special low price of 3 galleons, only at
Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, 93 Diagon Alley.
Good luck and may all your mischief be managed,
Fred and George Weasley.
P.S., Fred suggests you learn to run faster.'" Dennis threw the letter down in
disgust. "3 galleons? We hardly have a sickle to our names!"
Colin nodded in agreement as he looked at the letter skeptically. "I spent every
last knut I had at their store."
"Humph. I spent a lot more than that at their store, hoping they'd come up with
something good. And now they want us to pay even more?"
"Maybe we could ask for an advance on our allowance."
"Right, like mum and dad would agree on something like that."
"Well, we could play one of the other. You know, I wish they had at least given
us some free advice for our efforts."
"They did," Agnes told him, "'run faster.' That sounds like sage advice."
Agnes was rapidly descending Dennis' list of likeable people and this showed on
his face. "Look," Agnes continued, "if we get away from him fast enough, he
can't do anything to us and it definitely wouldn't hurt to be in top physical
form while playing Quidditch either. Then you can save your 3 galleons, whatever
that is.""
"Still, we've wasted a whole week in the hope that they would give us a real
device! We could have been training!" Dennis' desperation showed in his voice.
"Oh well! It was a nice break!" Agnes' irritation rose to the surface, too.
"Clearly you don't understand," Colin said, determined to stay calm. "This is
the future of our house team we're talking about. If we don't get some good
beaters, we're finished."
Agnes rolled her eyes. "So? It's just Quidditch."
Dennis' jaw dropped. "Just Quidditch??"
Colin sighed in mock despair. "Clearly, Agnes, you are nothing but a muggle."
She visibly bristled. "Stop calling me that."
Colin felt the bubble of irritation that had grown within him over the
weeks of dealing with Agnes' muggle-sensitivity burst. "Calling you what? A
muggle? That's what you are, isn't it? A muggle. A non-magical person," he
pressed.
She looked at him angrily. "It's not the word, it's the tone you say it
in. Like we're beneath your something, just because we can't do magic."
"I don't say it in that tone," Colin said defensively. "And what does it
matter what tone I say it in? It's still true." She got up out of the chair,
looking royally upset and Colin couldn't help but egg her on a bit more. "You
couldn't do a magic spell or make a potion even if you tried. If anything, we
should be the ones bothering you about the real world, since you seem to spend
very little time in it." He saw Dennis make the kill sign out of the corner of
his eye.
"What do I care about doing magic spells and that sort of thing?' Agnes
shot back. "I could care less about that. You act like you're so special just
because you're a wizard and I'm not but you know something? If all wizards are
so stuck up about being a wizard that they think no non-magical person is even
worthy of knowing about them, then I'm glad I'm not a wizard. We muggles," she
said the word with emphasis, as if daring Colin to say something about it,
"don't act like that." Colin glared at her and opened his mouth to respond but
she cut him off. "What're you going to do? Caste a spell on me? I dare you." She
stood in front of Colin with her hands on her hips. For a moment, Colin sorely
wanted to but Dennis, got up and pulled on his sleeve.
"Come on," he said, "why don't we see if we can't get some practice in
today after all?" But Colin wrenched his arm away out of Dennis' grasp.
"Would you like me to? I could make you completely forget magic even
really exists. Then you wouldn't have to worry about being inferior."
"It's not too late, Agnes! If we go now, we can still get in a good couple
of hours before dinner," Dennis said again, though louder this time.
"Yes, I think I'll go. I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome" Agnes
glared threateningly at Colin and stormed over to the door.
"Er, we won't come then," Dennis called after her, awkwardly. "Thanks for
the help, Agnes." She slammed the door shut in reply.
After she was definitely out of the house, Dennis turned to Colin and gave
him an odd look. "Well, you certainly made an ass out of yourself in there."
"Me? What did I do wrong? She's the one who's constantly bothering us
about magic and the wizarding world, something she has no right to even know
about. The deal was over as soon as I gave her that moving picture." He wrinkled
his nose in disgust, "I'm glad to be rid of her."
"She wasn't that bad," Dennis said casually.
"Really? She didn't bother you with her constant questions or pestering us
about our visits to 'the real world'?"
Dennis shrugged. "Well, yeah, it was a little annoying but still, I can't
see how it's any different than how we were when we found out about it."
"Yeah, but we're wizards and she's-"
"A muggle?"
"Exactly." Suddenly, Colin realized how he sounded. "Oh no," he said,
shutting his eyes tightly. "Please tell me I did not sound like some pure-blood
protectionist in there?"
"Okay, you did not sound like a pure-blood protectionist in there," Dennis
responded immediately.
"Thanks, Dennis. I knew I could count on you." Dennis bowed slightly and
ducked out the door. Colin stood there for a moment, staring at it when Colin
couldn't bear it anymore. "Oh, god I did! I sounded exactly like one of those
pure-blood types."
