DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam Wing or the characters in it. A shame really.
Duo flipped the on switch and sat down in front of the microphone once more. He cracked his neck and cleared his voice. "Welcome once again to Gundam Talk Radio!"
"Today, I will play a variety of oldies and classic music. Because that is the only thing we have in this radio station! Our first hit is by Heero Yuy that I recorded while he was in the shower!" (presses play button)
(Heero sings in monotone) "I'm singing in the rain. Just singing in the rain. What a glories feel it is, I'm happy again."
"AH-HAHAHA! Now tell me that isn't scary!" Duo laughed.
O o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Heero sat next to radio. His left eye was twitching violently. "I'm going to kill him. No doubts this time." He got up and walked off, forgetting to turn the radio off.
"To any princesses out there who are listening and looking for a hunk of a body guard and part time singer, Heero's number is-"
(Sounds of Gunshots) "EEEEKKK!" Duo screamed on the radio at a very high pitch.
"Say it and I kill you." Heero's monotone voice on the radio.
Duo laughed weakly. "But on to more important matters, like my survival. Today, I have Quatre's little black book! HAHA! I knew he had one! Lets see what phone numbers we have in here. . ."
"Dorothy Catalonia. Only Quat would date a woman that tried to kill him. Lets see, we have a Sylvia Noventa. . . HUH? What's Rashid's number doing in here? Wait, I don't want to know. We have a number without a name! Lets call and see who it is!" Duo screamed in excitement.
(Beep, beep, beep beep beep, beep beep, beep, beep-) sound of dialing number. (Phone ringing.) "Hello? Catherine Bloom speaking."
"WHA-? Oh man! Wait until Trowa finds out about this!"
"QUATRE!!!" Trowa yells in the distance.
"And I think he just did!" Duo laughed.
(Sounds of foot steps approaching) "Duo? What are you doing with my address book?" Quatre asked.
"Just using you little black book to contact some of your old girl friends, Q-man!" (Sound of Duo flipping through pages)
"Duo, I don't have a little black book. That's just a regular address book." Quatre said.
"Oh. That would certainly explain WuFei's cell phone number. . ." Duo sounded thoughtful.
"Duo. . ." Quatre said dangerously.
"QUATRE! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Trowa's voice came in full force.
"AAGGHH!" (Sounds of breaking furniture.) "Trowa! It's not like that! Duo was lying!" Quatre said desperately.
"YEAH? AND WHAT ABOUT THE PHONE BILL AND ALL THE CALLS TO THE CIRCUS?" More sounds of breaking furniture)
"Trowa, those are your phone calls! And it has never been like that with us!" Quatre managed to calm him down.
"Is that so?" Trowa's voice went back to normal.
"Well, there was that one time at last New Years Eve party we were both really drunk and. . ." (Quatre slapped a hand over his mouth.)
"WHAT?!" Trowa yelled.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You go Quatre!" Duo cheered
"AAGGHH!" (Sounds of breaking furniture and people running out the door.
"And that was this weeks soap opera episode of "Of Love and Gundams."" Duo cackled.
(phone ringing) Duo picked it up. "Hello?"
"Duo." (female voice on the radio.)
"Hey people! Its Releena Darlian Peacecraft! What can I do for you?" Duo asked.
"I was wondering if I could get a copy of the recording of Heero singing in the shower. And could I get his number from you?" Releena asked.
"Sure! His number is 4663-2987-612-7673-extension number 896."
"Thanks Duo. And to any other princesses listening out there, LAY OFF HEERO! HE'S MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" (Sound of phone hanging up.)
"Whoa. Didn't see that coming."
"DUO!" Heero yelled. (Sounds of gun shots)
"I should have seen that coming! AAGGHH!" (Sounds of more gun shots and Duo running away.)
Silence for several moments. (Sounds of foot steps approaching) "Braided baka." WuFei mumbled under his breath. "Thinks he can pull one on me? Two can play this game."
"Welcome to today's episode of, "Revenge with WuFei." Today, I shall be expelling secrets and embarrassing moments about a certain braided baka Gundam Pilot Maxwell. For pictures to go with these priceless moments, visit my website at "blahblahblah"
"Just last week, while we were at Princess Releena's palace as her security against a possible assassination attempt, I caught Duo sneak into her closet and try on her shoes." WuFei snickered.
"Also, I have witnessed several of his attempts to get into Heero Yuy's pants. And was unsuccessful, walking away with bruises and broken bones. I don't know what Yuy's preference is on this matter. But I don't think Yuy wants him trying on his spandex."
"Wu-man! You said you wouldn't tell anyone!" Duo ran it and whined at WuFei.
"I never said that! And don't call me Wu-man!" WuFei yelled back at him.
"Then maybe I should tell all the people about the little pink tutu you keep in your closet with the-"
"DIE MAXWELL!" WuFei yelled. (Sounds of broken furniture being broken again and more so.)
(Silence and foot steps approaching) "I'll kill him the next time I see him. How do you turn this thing off? Stupid antique machine" a monotone voice speaks.
(sounds of pressing buttons) Song from "Foo Fighters" turns on.
"Too alarming now to talk about"
"Take you pictures down"
"And shake it out"
"Truth or consequence, say it aloud"
"Use that evidence race it around"
Heero felt compelled to sing along with the song. Though still in monotone. I think he's tone deaf. "There goes my hero, watch him as he goes. There goes my hero, he's ordinary."
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Hysterical laughing.
"What's so funny Trowa?" Heero stopped singing.
"The radio is still on." Trowa stifled a laugh.
". . . . ." BANG! Sound of gun shot.
"Too bad. I was just starting to like that CD." Trowa stated.
"Yeah. Me too." Heero grunted. (Sounds of foot steps leaving.)
(Foot steps returning) "Is everyone gone?" Duo asked. "Good. Now where did I put my Brittany Spears CD? Oh crap, this thing is still turned on! Did I say Brittany Spears? I meant. . . uh. . . Nirvana! Yeah! That's it!"
"Duo!" Quatre yelled to him. "Thanks for letting me borrow your Brittany Spears CD." Quatre said.
"Uh. . .that's not MY CD! Heh.heh." Duo said weakly.
"BAKA MAXWELL!" WuFei yelled at him. "Are you done borrowing my Brittany Spears CD yet. . . . .MAXWELL TURN THAT THING OFF!!!"
"AAGGHH!" Duo screamed and ran away.
"Maxwell! Get back here!" WuFei ran after him.
(Beep, beep beep beep, beep, beep, beep beep) Sound of dialing numbers. "Hello?" Quatre asked. "Belleview Mental Institution? Yes, I'd like to make a reservation for four. . ."
