Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Legolas: Well, at least we had our clothes in that last chapter. Me: Awww, disappointed, Lego? I can correct that in the next chapter Legolas: NO! I was relieved, not disappointed. Me: I don't know why you're so timid about showing off your physique, anyway. Legolas: I'm NOT timid. It's just that ME: GOOD! I can't go more than one chapter without having your drop your breeches, anyway.

Chapter 8

The Closing Ceremonies

In the locker room

"Legolas! Have you seen my blue sashI can't find it anywhere!" Haldir exclaimed as he rummaged around the locker room.

"You're wearing it," Legolas answered calmly, pulling up his breeches and lacing them. "Why are you so nervous? You weren't this nervous for any of the events!"

"I can't help itI'm not used to speaking in front of a crowd like this. The most people I ever spoke to at once was a dozen or so wardens. I just know I'm going to stutter, or say something really stupid."

"You will not. Just say 'thank you' when Elrond gives you the trophy, wave at the crowd, and step down. It's that simple."

"How do you know? Why aren't you nervous?"

"I have to appear at royal functions all the time, remember - mePrince?" Legolas laughed, enjoying Haldir's discomfort.

"I'm going to throw up," Haldir said wearily, sitting down on the bench.

"You're not going to throw up. If we have to say anything, I'll say it, okay?"

"Really?"

"Yesyou know, I wish I had known about this before - the one sure thing I can beat you atpublic speaking!" Legolas laughed.

Haldir winced, knowing that Legolas was right. "You're not going to hold this over my head, are you?"

"Till the end of days, or death takes me, mellon nin," Legolas replied, smiling broadly.

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to speak for myself, then won't I?"

"Have it your own wayjust try not to get tongue-tied in front of that huge crowd," Legolas teased. "All those Elvesjust staring at you and hanging on to your every word"

"Now, I really am going to throw up."

The Rivendell Olympiad

Closing Ceremonies

The crowds filled the bleachers for the final time that afternoon, jostling each other for the best viewing advantage. Vendors hawked their wares, including a new stuffed Cave Troll doll that cried real tears, which was proving to be extremely popular with the youngsters in the crowd.

Near the judges' table another table had been placed. This table was elevated up a few feet higher than the judge's table, and held two gigantic trophies. Each trophy boasted a tiny replica of an elf in a Speedo.

Elrond stood and signaled the beginnings of the ceremonies. The three flag bearers rode onto the field, once again carrying the flags of Rivendell, Lothlorien, and Mirkwood. They circled the field, coming to rest dead center.

Elrond walked down onto the field and stood next to the judges' table, as Legolas and Haldir strode onto the field, preceded by maidens strewing flowers in their path, and an honor guard of archers flanking them.

Haldir and Legolas bowed to the judges and Elrond, their fists over their hearts. They stood politely at attention, waiting for the presentation of the trophies.

Elrond spoke loudly, so that the crowd would hear him. "Legolas and Haldir, you have both competed well in these events. You have both shown courage, strength, speed, agility, and intelligence." He glowered at the two of them and said softly so that the crowd did not hear him, "and complete disregard of the rules and my patience!"

"Therefore," he shouted once again, "It is my pleasure to award each of you the Olympiad Trophy!" With a flourish, he handed each competitor one of the huge trophies.

"Is that us?" Legolas said, pointing to the elf on the top of the trophy.

"Oh, for Eru's sakethey're wearing those little black Speedos! Really, Elrond, did you design these?" Haldir asked, frowning at Elrond.

"It could have been worse, HaldirI could have designed them wearing the maiden's gowns and pink, furry, high-heeled slippers - and you would have deserved it!" Elrond shot back, looking down his nose at the two. "Now both of you say something to the crowd so we can all get out of here."

"I thank you for the honor of being able to participate in this great Olympiad!' Legolas shouted to the crowd, lifting his trophy up in the air. "I am both pleased and humbled to have been a part of it!"

The crowd cheered wildly, then settled down to hear Haldir speak.

"IFriends, Elves, Countrymenfourscore and seven years agoask not what you can do for your countrythank you, thank you very much," he finally managed to say without throwing up.

The crowd applauded for him, not quite understanding what he had said, but willing to overlook it.

Addressing the crowd again, Elrond said, "Thank you all for attending the events! The Rivendell Olympiad is officially ended!"

As crowd cheered, then dispersed, Elrond turned again to Legolas and Haldir. "I am reluctantly throwing a party in your dubious honor tonight at The Last Homely House. Make sure you put in an appearance. Do NOT make me have to come looking for you." He turned without another word and stalked away.

Each of the judges stopped to congratulate the duo, before leaving the field.

"Aragorn, I don't think I may ever speak to you again. Greased Dwarf tossing? I thought Gimli was going to wring my neck after that event!" Legolas said to the King of Gondor.

"Arwen, My Lady," Haldir bowed, and kissed Arwen's hand, "Trust in this - someday, somehow, I will get even with you for that entire crossdressing thing," he said through clenched teeth.

"Glorfindel! Your game was quite amusing," Legolas smiled at the balrog-slayer.

"Your questions, however, were ridiculous! I do not have a middle name!" Haldir put in, looking down his nose at Glorfindel.

"Tsk, tsk, Haldir. For your information, I knew your parents very well. They were taken from you when you were very youngright after Rumil was born, I believe. Trust me, it may not be common knowledge, but 'Sue' is your middle name. Your father thought it would help make you stronger. I thought it would help you get beaten silly growing up, so I made sure no one ever used it."

"How did Orophin know?" Haldir said, turning a little green around the gills.

"Oh, I had to tell him for the contest. I suspect it will be all over Lorien by the time you get back," Glorfindel laughed, waving goodbye.

"Eowynyou look lovely!" Legolas said, greeting the Shieldmaiden. "If you weren't carrying that sword, I might very well beat the tar out of you," he continued with a smile that went no where near his eyes.

"I would like to strangle you with that Speedo, and then drown you in the nearest mud pile," Haldir added with a twisted smile.

"Now, now, let's not get our Speedos in a knot!" Eowyn laughed. "I single handedly made you two the most popular Elves in Rivendell with the ladiesneither of you will lack for company!"

"We didn't 'lack for company' before the event. There was no need to put us through that!" Legolas shot back, anger clouding his fine features.

"But the event wouldn't have been nearly as much fun without the Speedos!"

"Not nearly as much fun for who?"

"For me, silly!" Eowyn laughed, waving goodbye.

"Gandalf! Yours was the only event that was almost normal!" Haldir smiled a genuine smile at the old wizard.

"Well, I figured you two needed a break after everything the others put you throughand I figured you'd figure out a way to beat Thranduil, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Elrond at their own game - so to speak!" The White Wizard chuckled. "See you both tonight at Elrond's party, I suppose?" He nodded at the champions as he walked off.

Turning to Haldir, Legolas said, "Well, I guess we should go get undressedno use being uncomfortable until it's time to go to this party."

"Haldir smiled, and said, "Race you to the locker room?"

Legolas smiled, and they were off running.