*****
Sirius fell down on his bed face first. He thought that he'd left all this crap
behind when he'd come back to school. "You people stink," he muttered into his
pillow, knowing that his dormmates didn't care. And why should they when they
weren't speaking to each other, or to him, or to anyone…
At least his parents deigned to yell at each other in between the silent
treatments to break up the monotony.
Something had happened over Christmas. That much was obvious. He didn't think
that Peter had much to do with it since Peter spent most of his time off in
whatever dreamland it was that Peter inhabited.
No, this was something that had sparked purely between Lupin and James. Prats
that they both were. He'd tried playing with exploding snap with James, only to
be interrupted every five seconds when James would practice the Glare of Death
on Lupin. Lupin, who for all intents and purposes was acting no different than
he had before Christmas, was humming some strange muggle song about bullfrogs
over in the corner as he did his homework.
Not exactly criminal behavior, that. Which he'd made the mistake of pointing
out to James.
Fucking prats. He hated it when
people put him in the middle of their arguments. Did he look like a fucking mediator to them? He was much better at causing
problems than he was at solving them.
He'd tried approaching James first, of course. He wouldn't quite call him and
James best friends, but they were at least mates, weren't they? He'd thought
that James would have at least tried
to listen to him before telling him to mind his own business.
It was just that James hadn't cared a whit that Sirius wasn't full blooded. He
was the first person Sirius had come across in this crazy school who hadn't
picked up and joined in on Snape's 'Mudblood Black' taunt. James had even
helped him do some research so that he could pull the perfect prank on Snape in
retaliation. James, whether he knew it or not, had gained Sirius' loyalty in
that one act alone. And now Sirius was determined to help him, whether the prat
wanted his help or not.
As for Lupin…well, as far as Sirius could tell, Lupin was something of a loner.
And an odd one at that. But he'd taken a chance. He'd paired with the git
willingly in potions that first day.
For all his troubles, Lupin had repaid him by throwing a cauldron full of a
fucked-up potion on his head. Sirius had given him space after that. Loads of
space. One might have even said that Sirius had gone out of his way to avoid
Lupin after that. The kid had a rather nasty temper as well as incredible mood
swings. Sirius saw enough of that sort of thing at home to realize that he had
no intention of being sucked into a friendship with someone who blew hot and
cold and messed with his head on a regular basis.
He rolled over and stared at the canopy of his bed.
It was insane that he could be alone in a room with three other kids his age
with the capability to do magic, and still be bored out of his mind. School was
supposed to be fun, dammit. It was supposed to be a welcome escape from the
battlegrounds of an emotional World War III. But obviously, no one had told his
dormmates that. He turned slightly to glare at them.
Fortunately, he looked over just in time to catch Lupin getting up and moving
towards the door.
"Where are you headed off to?"
Lupin pulled a face and then turned to regard him with those strange eyes that
had creeped Sirius out ever since the caldron incident. "What's it to you?"
"I'm bored."
"You could do your homework."
"You could get a lobotomy."
Lupin heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. "I'm going to the lav."
"Great, I'll come, too." Sirius hopped off the bed and dashed for the door as
Lupin tried to close it in his face. He'd already tried wearing James down, but
the kid was as immovable as the castle foundations. Whatever was eating James,
the kid was determined to nurse it until he turned inside out from the
bitterness. What was more, James was determined to do it all by himself.
As much as Sirius didn't get along with Lupin, it wouldn't kill him to try
wearing down the git to the point where they could at least have civilized
conversations in the dorm room without having to worry that someone might hex
someone else ten ways to oblivion.
Sirius wasn't optimistic enough to think that they'd all become the best of
friends. But he didn't think that slightly strained civility was asking for too
terribly much. Anything but the
oppressive silence that they lived in now.
"I can take a piss alone, you know."
"Eugh, like I'd help you. I wanted to ask you about Professor Longbottom," he
tried nonchalantly. Lupin, however shot him a suspicious glance as they walked
into the lav, letting Sirius know that he probably hadn't looked as innocent as
he might have wished.
"What about him?" Lupin asked as Sirius watched him methodically turn on all
the taps for the six sinks in the room.
"Er…why are you turning on all the taps?" Now, if this were a game, it might
have potential, Sirius decided. They could flood the lav. Although, this wasn't
the ideal lav to his estimation. If they could get into another house and flood
their lav…Now that would be worth the effort. Once James pulled his head out of
his arse, he'd have to run it by him. Sirius, of course, would take sole blame
for whatever troubles followed.
If he got written up enough times, if he screwed around enough, then his
parents would be forced to talk to each other like civilized human beings. If
just to bitch at him.
"I felt like it," Remus shrugged. "What the fuck do you care anyway?"
"I'm bored."
"Wow. There's a revelation."
Sirius ignored the jibe. "We could…you know, flood the lav on the first floor.
Down by the stairs to the dungeon? I bet we could get water to seep into the
Slytherin common room," he offered coolly, as if he didn't care if Lupin
accepted or not. The kid was nutty enough to jump for the bait, he decided. He
may not particularly like Lupin a
hell of a lot--Lupin had been a complete arse towards James, and Sirius still
hadn't completely forgiven him for the caterpillars--but they didn't have to be
friends to wreak havoc.
"Why don't you go ask James."
"I'm not asking James, I'm asking you."
"Well, then maybe I'm not the one who needs a lobotomy."
Man, he hated it when people threw the stupid things he said back in his face.
"Okay, so maybe you don't need a lobotomy."
"Look, I don't know exactly what it is I've done to deserve this, but can't you
just leave me alone?"
"But I'm bored."
"So, go flood the lav downstairs. Knock yourself out. Please." Lupin glared
again, this time going into a stall and leaving Sirius to stew as he watched
the water flow from the taps. At first he'd been really happy to have been
placed in Gryffindor, but he was seriously beginning to reconsider his
acceptance now. None of the other houses could possibly have three lunatics
bunked in one dorm. Of all the rotten luck, he had to get stuck in the loony
bin.
Which was what everyone was beginning to call them. Lupin…well, Lupin was just
nuts. No explanation needed there. Peter got traumatized if someone even looked
at him cross-eyed, and he'd refused to talk to Sirius after their little spat
at the platform before Christmas break. Geez, the kid was twitchy. So he'd been
a bit irritable about going home and he'd run off at the mouth. It wasn't like
he'd committed murder or something for Christ's sake.
And James…well, James had Problems,
as his mother would say.
Which meant he was the only sane one in his dorm. And dammit, what the hell was
taking Lupin so long? He wanted to go flood that lav…
"Oh," Lupin's face screwed up in disgust. "You're still here. Why is that
again?" Lupin asked as he emerged from the stall and walked over to the sink.
"We're going to flood that lav, remember?"
"You've been holding your breath until you pass out again, haven't you." Lupin
gave him that condescending look that made Sirius want to punch him.
"Look, egghead, just grab your shoes and let's go." Sirius took in the pajamas
Lupin had changed into and shook his head. Maybe it was for the best this way,
if they didn't get caught it would be a bloody miracle. Lupin's choice of
clothing was enough to blind someone. He was surprised the garish colors didn't
give the kid a stomach ache when he looked in the mirror.
"I'm not flooding anything. I'm going upstairs, I'm going to finish my potions
homework, and then I'm going to bed." Lupin enunciated each word slowly, and
Sirius felt himself coloring at the implication that he was stupid. That he was
slow. He fucking hated it when people did that to him! He wasn't goddamn stupid! So what if he was a year older
than everyone else in his class?
"Fine, be that way. At least I don't look like my own circus when I'm walking
around," he muttered sullenly, refusing to admit to how incredibly lame a
comeback that had to have been, since Lupin was looking at him thoroughly
confused.
"What in the hell are you talking about?"
"Your clothes look worse than my grandfather's on bad day when he's been out
golfing. At least he doesn't go for the whole avocado green, bright orange and
red polka dot ensemble." He snorted as he poked at the various colors on
Lupin's pajamas. Obviously, this kid's mum was something of what his mum liked
to refer to as a 'hippie'. It was the only explanation that Sirius could think
of for why Lupin had so many colorful clothes to begin with and why he never
seemed to care too terribly much if they matched or not.
For a moment, though, Remus looked utterly confused before his eyes widened and
then slitted in anger.
"Right, like you're the height of fashion. Bet your mummy still writes you
every morning and tells you what to wear." Speaking of lame comebacks, Sirius
smirked at Lupin, letting him know that the barb had missed by a long shot. His
clothes might be dull and old fashioned, but at least he wasn't Hogwarts
resident flower child. As if the kid needed another way to stand out like a
sore thumb.
"At least I don't walk around every day looking like a rainbow threw up on me."
Yup, he was definitely back in business if Lupin's snarl was any indication.
"Fuck off, wazzock," Lupin growled before storming out of the bathroom. Leaving
Sirius alone. And bored. Again.
"You people stink." The walls in the bathroom said nothing and the water ran
quietly as he grumbled.
*****
Remus
slid into his seat as unobtrusively as he could manage. Which, considering the
circumstances, wasn't half as quiet as he'd wished. He'd started rethinking
this plan about halfway down to the dungeons. But by that time, it had been too
late to run back up the stairs. Well, that and pride dictated that he would see
this through, no matter how potentially embarrassing it might be.
It wasn't like any of these bastards could say anything that could truly hurt
his feelings. Or at least, that was what he told himself…
"Bloody hell, Lupin!" Black's voice was less than whispered, and Remus shot him
a glare. Stupid prat. It was all his fault, anyway. Remus could have happily
lived for the rest of his school days without knowing that his clothing didn't
match. As far as he was concerned, sometimes ignorance really was bliss.
He'd gone to Peter after his confrontation with Black. And in his really round
about way, Peter had let him know that his clothing was hideous to those who
could see color. Peter had tried to let him down easily, of course, but Remus
could tell that when the kid had said "unique" and "rather remarkable" what
he'd really meant was "revolting" and
"terribly mismatched".
Originally, Remus had told himself that he wouldn't let it bother him. All the
other kids—hell, the rest of the staff even—already thought he'd lost most of
his marbles. Changing his wardrobe now wasn't going to change anything.
But when he'd gone to get his clothes this morning, he couldn't bring himself
to pick anything out. The white undershirt he'd chosen had been easy. He'd
known it was white. The boxers too, hadn't been a problem. They were a solid
color. Which color, he had absolutely no idea, but it didn't matter anyway
because everything went with white, and in theory, he'd be wearing his trousers
over them.
Except he hadn't been able to make heads or tails of his trousers, or his
shirts, and bloody forget the stupid ties, the chances of him finding a
matching outfit were astronomically slim.
So he'd missed breakfast because he'd been staring at his clothes like a
mindless idiot. Before he'd known it, class was about to start, he still hadn't
dressed, and he'd told himself to fuck it since no one was going to care
anyway. The most they were going to do would be mock him, and he assured
himself that there wasn't anything that they could say that they hadn't already
told him before. If it hadn't killed him before, it sure wouldn't kill him now.
"Where the hell are your clothes?" Black hissed as Remus pulled his potions book
out of his satchel. Remus wasn't entirely certain why he even tried at potions
anymore. Before Christmas and after the cauldron incident, Black had taken to
deliberately screwing up the potion before Remus had a chance to do it by
accident. Remus couldn't tell if Black's actions now were out of
self-preservation or a genuine delight in watching things blow up. "Baum is
going to have kittens when she sees you."
"So? Who cares?" he made himself reply carelessly. Black's mouth worked for a
moment, but no sound came out. Ultimately, the other boy shook his head and
turned back to writing what Remus suspected was a note to Potter. Complaining
to Potter about their strange psychopath dormmate, he imagined.
As Professor Baum walked absentmindedly into the classroom, Remus slid down in
his seat, pulling his book up in front of his face. Maybe, by some miracle, she
wouldn't notice him…
*****
Lupin was living in a dream world if he thought Baum wasn't going to be aware
of the fact that he wasn't wearing anything but his underwear, Sirius noted
with a wry grin as he watched his partner slump down farther in his seat. Lupin
had done a lot of off the wall, completely crazy things so far this year, but
this really was going a bit over the top.
"Remus!" Baum's shriek jolted about half the class out of their early morning
complacency as she strode down the isle towards Lupin. If anything, Lupin slid
farther down in the seat, watching her with wary eyes as she came to a stop at
their bench. "Remus, lamb, are you alright?"
It was hard to say who looked more shocked, Sirius reflected as he hid a smile.
Their class had gotten rather used to the way the professors went out of their
way to ignore Lupin, even when the kid was at his craziest. He'd even joked
with James about it a few times, wondering what lengths Lupin would go to in
the next class to get noticed. From the look of horror on Lupin's face though,
as Baum reached over and felt his forehead before patting his hair in concern,
made Sirius realize that while Lupin might have wanted his professors'
attention, this might have been a bit more than the kid had anticipated.
"I'm fine." Lupin's slightly strangled squeak only added to the hilarity of the
situation, and Sirius could see parts of the class dissolving into giggles.
"Now, lamb, if you're not feeling well, you only have to tell me. No one's
going to be mad if you need to have a lie down upstairs." Professor Baum was
looking particularly concerned, and Sirius wondered for a moment what it was
that she knew that the rest of them didn't. Sure, Lupin was absent a lot, but
Sirius figured it was because the kid wasn't dealing completely in reality.
Sirius had an uncle on his father's side, a muggle uncle, who'd been taken away
for "treatments" because he'd been acting crazy. Sirius figured they were doing
something similar to Lupin, only Lupin was allowed to come back because magic
just worked a lot better than muggle technology did to Sirius' way of thinking.
"I do not need to go have a lie
down." Lupin had that look in his eye again, Sirius noted with a silent
grimace. That kid got hacked off faster than anyone else he knew. What did
Lupin have to feel indignant about, anyway? This was all his own fault for
leaving off dressing this morning.
"Why don't you just go back upstairs and get dressed, Lupin? She's not gonna
lay off until you do." Sirius whispered as Baum felt Lupin's forehead for the
second time, frowning slightly to herself.
"Mind your own business!" Lupin hissed back, kicking him in the shin. Sirius
scowled back in return as he reached down and rubbed his shin. The prat may not
have been wearing shoes, but that had still hurt. Sirius had only been trying
to help, after all.
"Maybe I should get Frank. He'll know what's going on, don't you think, Remus?"
Baum was smoothing Lupin's hair down as she bent down to his level. Lupin gaped
for a few minutes, and Sirius felt much like joining him. Sure, Baum was a
soft-hearted pushover, but this was weird, even for her. "If you're not feeling
well, you shouldn't push yourself, lamb."
"I'm not sick!"
"Remus, lamb…"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Lupin, calm down."
"Shut up! This is all your fault!"
"Me? I didn't do anything." Sirius frowned back as Lupin roughly grabbed his
satchel and scrambled out of Baum's grasp. The lunatic made for the door at a
dead run. "Hey! Get back here, you shrimp! You can't pin this on me." Sirius
scrambled out of his own chair. Damned if he was going to let Lupin get the
last word one more time. He was sick of this kid, and sick of how Lupin got
away with being an arsehole to everyone and everything.
"Sirius, just leave him be. He'll come back when he's ready," Baum tried to say
as she grabbed his arm. He didn't care what Lupin would do when he was ready.
He wanted an answer now, and the fact that this was a way to weasel out of his
least favorite class just added to the appeal. He slipped out of Baum's grasp
as well and ran for the door taking after Lupin as the squirrelly kid took the
stairs to the tower two at a time.
By the time Sirius made it up to their room, Lupin had already thrown his
temper tantrum and was sitting despondently amongst his colorful clothes, which
were strewn all over the bloody place. Lupin didn't even bother looking up as
Sirius tromped into the room rather loudly. In fact, Lupin, for all intents and
purposes, was acting like he didn't exist, which was irritating, and Sirius
breathed out a long sigh as he threw his bag on the bed. Whatever crazy people
treatments they were giving Lupin, Sirius could assure them that they weren't
working.
"What the hell is your problem?" Sirius finally demanded as the silence started
to get to him. Lupin responded by pulling his knees up and turning away from
Sirius to stare across the room at the numerous Quidditch posters James had
insisted on putting on the opposite wall. "You've got some nerve, you know?" he
muttered, randomly picking up clothes as he walked around the room.
"Leave me alone."
"Why don't you just fuck off, you've caused enough problems for one morning,"
Sirius snapped. The world didn't revolve around Lupin and whatever drama Lupin
felt like living everyday.
"No asked you to follow me," Lupin snarled in response.
"Shut up," Sirius snapped back, pulling a pair of black trousers, a blue button-up
shirt and a black tie off the floor and tossing them to Lupin. "Put those on
and let's get back to class."
Lupin glared at him distrustfully for a moment for tossing the clothes aside.
"Fuck off, Black."
"What the hell is the matter with you?!" Sirius stormed around until he was on
the floor beside Lupin, his face up in the other boy's face. "You want to be a
little drama queen, fine. Do it on your own time. But I've had it with you
pitching fits for no particular reason. I'm sick of the way you and James act
like you're about to blow each other up whenever the two of you are in the same
room. Would it kill you to be to polite to him? Maybe Peter and I don't like
living in a war zone, you know? Quit being such a selfish bastard and put on
the goddamn clothes!"
"You think I'm stupid? You just want to make me look like an arse," Lupin
glared sullenly back at him.
"Argh!" Sirius threw his hands up and grabbed the clothes Lupin had thrown
aside. "At least you'd be wearing clothes, wazzock. Besides, why would I make
an arse of you when you're perfectly capable of doing that yourself?" He shoved
the clothes at Lupin, who reluctantly accepted them this time. Lupin stared at
him for a long moment, which might have been unnerving had Sirius not been so hacked
off.
"How am I supposed to know if they match?" Lupin's voice was so soft that
Sirius wasn't entirely certain he'd heard it right.
"Bloody well look at them," he
finally sputtered as Lupin tilted his head to the side to regard him.
"What about these trousers. I like these trousers better. They're softer."
Lupin murmured as he pulled a pair from the pile and laid it across the blue
shirt. Sirius laughed for a moment, thinking Lupin was joking. The kid had to be joking. But the look on
Lupin's face suggested otherwise.
"Lupin, they're pink."
"They are not!" Lupin retorted indignantly, and Sirius couldn't stop the
chuckle from escaping as Lupin looked as his pants perplexed. "Are they?"
"They are. They are very, very pink," Sirius confirmed.
"Fuck."
The disgusted look on Lupin's face only made him laugh that much harder.
"Um, Remus, Black?" Sirius turned around to see Peter standing at the door
uncertainly. "Er, Professor Baum sent me up to make sure you were doing
alright." Peter scooted across the room, giving Sirius a wide berth before
settling down on Lupin's other side.
"Peter, is this pink?" Remus held up the trousers in his hands, and that only
set Sirius off laughing again.
"Yes, they're pink."
"Damn." Lupin frowned. "Shut the fuck up, Black. It's not funny."
"Admit it, Lupin, you're completely colorblind." Sirius chuckled, pulling the
pink trousers out of Lupin's hands and grabbing a handful of the rest of the
kid's clothes and shoving them in an open dresser drawer.
"Fine. I'm completely colorblind." Sirius turned to laugh, but the sound died
on his lips as he got a look at Lupin's face. The kid was serious.
"You're really colorblind?" Sirius returned thoughtfully as he plopped down on
the floor.
"Is it just that you can't see red and green? I've got a neighbor at home who's
like that," Peter piped in quietly.
"No, I can't see color. Period." Lupin snapped, grabbing his clothes and
storming off down the stair, presumably to the lav.
"Weird," Sirius breathed with a shake of his head. Well, at least that
explained certain things about Lupin. Strange as the kid was. After all, who
the hell was completely colorblind? Maybe those treatments that they gave him
had some nasty side-effects. He'd overheard his father once talking about his
uncle and laughing about how they gave the crazy bastard electric shocks to the
brain. Sirius couldn't imagine that a person could walk away from that with
everything working the way it should. Maybe that was half the reason that his
uncle was never allowed to come visit them or leave the hospital.
And really, who knew what the magical equivalent of brain shock therapy was?
Maybe it was a bloody miracle that Lupin was half as normal as he appeared to
be.
"He's never said anything about it before." Sirius turned at Peter's voice and
took in the kid's confused expression. "I mean, it's not like we're best mates
or anything-"
"He's just odd," Sirius shrugged. "We'd better make sure the crazy bastard's
not in the lav drowning himself." With a groan, he crawled to his feet. Let the
house elves take care of the mess Remus made. Peter shrugged a shoulder and
followed suit.
"He's really not that bad a sort," Peter shot him a sideways glance.
"If you say so."
*****
