*****


"What about these?" Remus tossed a pair of trousers and a pullover on Peter's bed, and reluctantly Peter pulled both items into his hands. If he hadn't believed that Remus was colorblind before now, this definitely would have gone a long way to changing his mind. The fact that Remus even owned a pair of purple trousers said something. The fact that Remus thought they would match his bright orange pullover said something else entirely.

"Why don't you just sit down and let me pick out your outfit, okay?" Peter suggested mildly, crawling off his bed and moving over to Remus' drawers.

"Thanks Peter." Remus threw him a lopsided grin before flopping carelessly on Peter's bed.

"No problem," he grinned back. He really liked this time of the morning. Black and James were off showering so the atmosphere in the room was noticeably less tense. That and he genuinely liked hanging out with Remus. "Put these on." He tossed Remus a pair of khaki trousers and a gray shirt.

"You're the best, Pete." The goofy smile was back on Remus' face, and Peter almost groaned out loud. Generally that expression meant that Remus was about to get himself into a ton of trouble. Although god only knew why Remus would want to make trouble. "Whatcha got going on today?"

"We have the same classes," Peter reminded him, grinning. Which only made Remus roll his eyes. He wasn't sure why, but Remus was intent on thinking that Peter had some sort of covert social life. Which Peter could have assured him wasn't even remotely the case. Contrary to the image Remus seemed to have of him, Peter did not spend his weekends putting cherry bombs in toilets or his week nights flying solo secret missions for the government on a broomstick.

Although, he had to admit there was a certain appeal to the lifestyle Remus liked to conjure for him.

"No, I meant tonight. It's another mission, isn't it? You're going to fly over the Ural Mountains to deliver a top secret parchment to a fellow double agent amongst the giants, right? Sergi, wasn't it?"

Only Remus could make giants seem somewhat glamorous. And only Remus would be able to picture Peter talking to one. Hell, Peter could even picture that.

"Actually, I think I'm going to be writing a top secret Defense Against the Dark Arts essay that my evil professor is going to be grading tomorrow. He tends to think I need to improve my grammar and research my points a bit more if I'm going to survive to lead a mission filled life in the next year," Peter joked softly. He could only be this way with Remus, it seemed.

"I know of Agent Longbottom," Remus nodded sagely, "and as far as double agents go, he's a right bastard. Very much a back-stabber. My advice to you, Agent Pettigrew, would be to not trust him with any sensitive information. It might mean your death."

It always amazed Peter that Remus could spit out things like that with a completely serious face. Although, he got the impression that Remus wasn't terribly happy with Longbottom. Usually Remus said something about Longbottom being a double agent student in disguise and to not take anything the man said seriously.

"Remus?"

"Mrghfh?" Remus pulled the shirt over his head and looked over at him inquisitively.

"Could you," he swallowed hard, "maybe help me with my essay? I mean, you do get really good grades in that class," Peter trailed off uncertainly.

"Oh, Peter," Remus' face fell and Peter immediately regretted asking. Of course Remus wouldn't want to spend extra time working on homework that wasn't even his.

"Never mind," he spit out quickly before Remus had a chance to say anything else.

"No, Pete, you don't understand," Remus sighed heavily. "My-my mum's sick again. I'm not going to be around tonight, and I probably won't be back until Thursday or Friday depending on how good or bad off she is." Remus looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Is she," Peter paused to rethink the question, "she's going to be alright, isn't she?" Peter asked softly. "I mean, she's sick an awful lot, Remus-"

"She'll be fine."

Funny, but to Peter's ears, it didn't sound that way at all.

*****

Remus growled and backed up farther into the corner underneath his dusty bed as Longbottom tried once more to pull him out from his hiding place of choice. If Longbottom had just butted out like Remus had asked him to, it wouldn't have come to this.

"Remus, we don't have time for this," Longbottom sounded thoroughly exasperated, but Remus didn't really care. So what if Longbottom was a bit put off with him at the moment? Remus had bigger worries to wrestle with, like knowing exactly what kind of pain he was going to be in tonight and knowing that there was no way to halt time or stop it from happening.

"I don't know about you, but I've got all the time in the world," he huffed as Longbottom grabbed an ankle and tried pulling him out. Remus stubbornly kept his arms wrapped around the leg of his bed, refusing to give in to Longbottom's efforts. He had exactly forty minutes before the moon rose in the sky. It would take ten minutes at most to get out of the castle and maybe another five to get from the base of the tunnel under the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack.

And the less time he had to sit by himself in the depressing main room of the shack, the better. Looking at all the furniture he'd destroyed as his alter ego, seeing the boarded up windows and then having nothing to do but sit and wait for the moon to rise left him all but crawling out of his own skin. It wouldn't be so bad if he could forget the pain between full moons.

But he knew exactly how much it was going to hurt. He knew that he was going to hear his bones snapping and reknitting. He knew that the pain, the sheer throbbing of his body as it tried to change shapes, would alternately steal his breath away and force him to scream so loudly that it hurt even his own eardrums to listen. And he knew that in the morning, he'd wake up to the change feeling as if someone had poured turpentine over his skin and lit a match to it. Changing hurt like fucking hell. Was it any wonder that he didn't particularly like going to the shack and didn't particularly relish the idea of preparing for the full moon?

He'd told the professor that he could make it to the shack by himself. He didn't need some back-stabbing adult to hold his hand like he was a snot-nosed baby, and he most certainly did not need a warden to make sure that he ended up in the shack before the change. He knew exactly how dangerous a werewolf could be, after all. He had the fucking scars to prove it. Besides, the way Remus figured it, he might as well get used to doing this business by himself. It wasn't as if Longbottom was going to be here next year to mollycoddle him.

"Remus J. Lupin! If you do not get out from under that bed in the next five seconds, I'll-I'll use magic!"

Remus made a face to keep from laughing. Longbottom was getting desperate. "Do your worst."

"Er, Professor Longbottom," Peter tentatively interrupted, and Remus winced. This was going to take some interesting explaining later, he imagined. "Maybe you should just leave Remus here. I know his mum's sick and all, but if he doesn't want to go," Peter trailed off uncertainly.

"He doesn't get a choice in the matter," Longbottom ground out, and Remus tried kicking the hands wrapped around his ankle as the professor gave a wrenching tug.

"What's going on?" Black's voice came from the vicinity of the door, and Remus held back a groan. Why didn't they just make a party out of this? "Oh, never mind, Lupin's involved. That pretty much explains everything."

"Fuck off, Black, no one asked you!" Remus hollered from under his bed, grunting as Longbottom gave another wrenching pull.

"Oh Jesus, I don't even want to know."

"Well good, because no one's offering to tell you, Potter," Remus growled as Potter butted his big nose in with the rest.

He wondered what it would have been like if he'd met the same fate that Potter's mother had. Of course he'd rather have not met the werewolf at all that particular night. But since he had, maybe it wouldn't have been all that much of a tragedy if he'd died instead. After all, it was a hell of tragedy for his parents to have to live with and raise a chronically diseased child. An inhuman child.

"Why don't you boys go on down to the common room and let me deal with this," Longbottom tried to diffuse the situation diplomatically, and Remus could see his three dormmates shift their feet reluctantly. He watched Peter's shoes move closer to the bed, though, instead of towards the door. Moments later, Peter's face appeared as the other boy bent down to get a better look.

"Maybe you really should go with him, Remus," Peter offered hesitantly. Of all the times for Peter to stick up for him. Remus shot him a pained look as he kicked at Longbottom's grappling hands again.

"I don't want to go with him. I'd rather run around the great hall at noon naked as a jaybird."

"It can't be as bad as that, can it?" The incredulity in Peter's voice made it clear that the other boy didn't understand why he was protesting this so hard.

"You have no idea, Pete."

As if Peter would ever have a clue. As if any of them would, his back-stabbing Defense Against the Dark Arts professor included. It was like expecting a lion to understand what it might be like to be a wolf. They were human, and he wasn't. Even if his dormmates weren't aware of that particular fact, it didn't change things.

"Peter, James, Sirius? Leave. Now." Well, it looked like Longbottom had finally decided to forgo diplomacy. Peter reluctantly climbed to his feet, and Remus saw the three of them head for the door. "Remus, get out from under there."

"No," Remus snarled. "I don't need your help. Just go away." Longbottom scowled at him before letting go of Remus' ankle abruptly, causing Remus to fall back with a thump against the leg of the bed he was holding so tightly.

"This isn't a joke, you only have a short time before the moon rises, and try to understand that I'm responsible for everyone's well being in this instance, yours included," Longbottom muttered angrily with a tired sigh before pulling out his wand, aiming it at Remus, and muttering a simple summoning spell. Remus felt himself scoot across the floor. Longbottom reached over and grabbed the back of his shirt, hauling him up onto his feet and pulling the fabric tight as the man got a good, solid grip.

"Finite Incantatem," Frank muttered, and Remus was in total control of his limbs once again.

"Let me go!" He twisted violently in Longbottom's grasp, but the professor wasn't about to make the same mistake twice, it seemed. As it was, Remus realized he was probably lucky that Longbottom hadn't strangled him while he'd been so complacent.

"I've had about all I'm going to take from you, tonight, Brat." The words were emphasized with a jerk as Longbottom all but dragged him to the door. "You, of all people, should know how dangerous tonight's little stunt could have been. What were you thinking?"


"Fuck off," He growled softly as Longbottom pulled him down the dorm stairs. They silently made their way through the common room. Remus only wished that the same could have been said for his dormmates.

"Have fun in detention…" Potter mocked in a bright, cheery voice, and Remus tried lunging at him, but Longbottom's grasp was unbreakable.

"You're just lucky they didn't haul you off sooner," Black added, looking oddly sympathetic, which was surprisingly more infuriating to Remus than if Sirius had simply joined in on the taunting. "You'll feel better when you get back. It's not like you're that crazy." Fuck, if anyone was a couple sandwiches short, it was Black. Not him!

Longbottom didn't give him much of a chance to offer any sort of retaliation though, as the man forcefully pulled him through the portrait door. "Look, Remus, I realize that it's not easy. But you have to understand that you don't have a choice in this, you have to take these precautions. It's the only way that the headmaster is willing to keep you here."

Remus glared at him as the anger flushed his face. The man just wanted to shove Remus in the shack, shut the door, and then pat himself on the back for a job well done. He wondered if the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor felt a rush of pride in being able to tame and subdue a dangerous eleven-year-old werewolf. It had to be right up there with successfully catching a cute, fluffy crup. Maybe the headmaster would give Longbottom points for outsmarting Remus and containing the threat of a dark creature run amok.

"So what are you, my fucking babysitter? I didn't ask you to hold my hand through all of this. I would have gone to the shack all by myself. I don't need you," Remus tried jerking away again, but Longbottom just hauled him back up against his side.

"Well, guess what, you have me anyway. So buck up and face the music," Longbottom hissed between his teeth, a sure indication that his patience was hanging on by a very thin thread. Not that Remus cared.

"Oh yeah, I've got you to support me," Remus mocked. "Color me lucky. Aren't I just the envy of all the first years."

"I've done nothing but be supportive of you from the start," Longbottom lectured as they passed through the main doors and headed across the grass. "One would think that you'd give a little less lip."

"Oh please, like you're actually doing this because you care about me." Remus felt fully entitled to yell out that particular accusation since they were both outside now. "You're just like every other professor here. Bet it was fun for you, having your own pet werewolf for a while. What did you expect me to do, bark on command?"

"You are the most exasperating brat. I don't know where you get these ideas," Longbottom sighed as he tiredly pointed his wand and muttered a spell that froze the Whomping Willow.

"Me either. Crazy isn't it, how I thought you were actually cool. I actually thought I could trust you. Yeah, well, you sure proved me wrong. You're just doing your job. Next year, you'll be gone and I'll be someone else's problem, won't I?"

This time, Remus had no problems pulling out of Longbottom's grasp and careening into the tunnel. He all but ran to the shack, conscious of the fact that Longbottom wouldn't dare follow him. At least it was one small consolation.

They let him be in pain in peace.

*****