*****
"What about these?" Remus tossed a pair of trousers and a pullover on Peter's
bed, and reluctantly Peter pulled both items into his hands. If he hadn't
believed that Remus was colorblind before now, this definitely would have gone
a long way to changing his mind. The fact that Remus even owned a pair of
purple trousers said something. The fact that Remus thought they would match
his bright orange pullover said something else entirely.
"Why don't you just sit down and let me pick out your outfit, okay?" Peter
suggested mildly, crawling off his bed and moving over to Remus' drawers.
"Thanks Peter." Remus threw him a lopsided grin before flopping carelessly on
Peter's bed.
"No problem," he grinned back. He really liked this time of the morning. Black
and James were off showering so the atmosphere in the room was noticeably less
tense. That and he genuinely liked hanging out with Remus. "Put these on." He
tossed Remus a pair of khaki trousers and a gray shirt.
"You're the best, Pete." The goofy smile was back on Remus' face, and Peter
almost groaned out loud. Generally that expression meant that Remus was about
to get himself into a ton of trouble. Although god only knew why Remus would
want to make trouble. "Whatcha got going on today?"
"We have the same classes," Peter reminded him, grinning. Which only made Remus
roll his eyes. He wasn't sure why, but Remus was intent on thinking that Peter
had some sort of covert social life. Which Peter could have assured him wasn't
even remotely the case. Contrary to the image Remus seemed to have of him,
Peter did not spend his weekends putting cherry bombs in toilets or his week
nights flying solo secret missions for the government on a broomstick.
Although, he had to admit there was a certain appeal to the lifestyle Remus
liked to conjure for him.
"No, I meant tonight. It's another mission, isn't it? You're going to fly over
the Ural Mountains to deliver a top secret parchment to a fellow double agent
amongst the giants, right? Sergi, wasn't it?"
Only Remus could make giants seem somewhat glamorous. And only Remus would be
able to picture Peter talking to one. Hell, Peter could even picture that.
"Actually, I think I'm going to be writing a top secret Defense Against the
Dark Arts essay that my evil professor is going to be grading tomorrow. He
tends to think I need to improve my grammar and research my points a bit more
if I'm going to survive to lead a mission filled life in the next year," Peter
joked softly. He could only be this way with Remus, it seemed.
"I know of Agent Longbottom," Remus nodded sagely, "and as far as double agents
go, he's a right bastard. Very much a back-stabber. My advice to you, Agent
Pettigrew, would be to not trust him with any sensitive information. It might
mean your death."
It always amazed Peter that Remus could spit out things like that with a
completely serious face. Although, he got the impression that Remus wasn't
terribly happy with Longbottom. Usually Remus said something about Longbottom
being a double agent student in disguise and to not take anything the man said
seriously.
"Remus?"
"Mrghfh?" Remus pulled the shirt over his head and looked over at him
inquisitively.
"Could you," he swallowed hard, "maybe help me with my essay? I mean, you do
get really good grades in that class," Peter trailed off uncertainly.
"Oh, Peter," Remus' face fell and Peter immediately regretted asking. Of course
Remus wouldn't want to spend extra time working on homework that wasn't even
his.
"Never mind," he spit out quickly before Remus had a chance to say anything
else.
"No, Pete, you don't understand," Remus sighed heavily. "My-my mum's sick
again. I'm not going to be around tonight, and I probably won't be back until
Thursday or Friday depending on how good or bad off she is." Remus looked
distinctly uncomfortable.
"Is she," Peter paused to rethink the question, "she's going to be alright,
isn't she?" Peter asked softly. "I mean, she's sick an awful lot, Remus-"
"She'll be fine."
Funny, but to Peter's ears, it didn't sound that way at all.
*****
Remus growled and backed up farther into the corner underneath his dusty bed as
Longbottom tried once more to pull him out from his hiding place of choice. If
Longbottom had just butted out like Remus had asked him to, it wouldn't have
come to this.
"Remus, we don't have time for this," Longbottom sounded thoroughly
exasperated, but Remus didn't really care. So what if Longbottom was a bit put
off with him at the moment? Remus had bigger worries to wrestle with, like knowing
exactly what kind of pain he was going to be in tonight and knowing that there
was no way to halt time or stop it from happening.
"I don't know about you, but I've got all the time in the world," he huffed as
Longbottom grabbed an ankle and tried pulling him out. Remus stubbornly kept
his arms wrapped around the leg of his bed, refusing to give in to Longbottom's
efforts. He had exactly forty minutes before the moon rose in the sky. It would
take ten minutes at most to get out of the castle and maybe another five to get
from the base of the tunnel under the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack.
And the less time he had to sit by himself in the depressing main room of the
shack, the better. Looking at all the furniture he'd destroyed as his alter ego,
seeing the boarded up windows and then having nothing to do but sit and wait
for the moon to rise left him all but crawling out of his own skin. It wouldn't
be so bad if he could forget the pain between full moons.
But he knew exactly how much it was going to hurt. He knew that he was going to
hear his bones snapping and reknitting. He knew that the pain, the sheer
throbbing of his body as it tried to change shapes, would alternately steal his
breath away and force him to scream so loudly that it hurt even his own
eardrums to listen. And he knew that in the morning, he'd wake up to the change
feeling as if someone had poured turpentine over his skin and lit a match to
it. Changing hurt like fucking hell. Was it any wonder that he didn't
particularly like going to the shack and didn't particularly relish the idea of
preparing for the full moon?
He'd told the professor that he could make it to the shack by himself. He
didn't need some back-stabbing adult to hold his hand like he was a snot-nosed
baby, and he most certainly did not need a warden to make sure that he ended up
in the shack before the change. He knew exactly how dangerous a werewolf could
be, after all. He had the fucking scars to prove it. Besides, the way Remus
figured it, he might as well get used to doing this business by himself. It
wasn't as if Longbottom was going to be here next year to mollycoddle him.
"Remus J. Lupin! If you do not get out from under that bed in the next five
seconds, I'll-I'll use magic!"
Remus made a face to keep from laughing. Longbottom was getting desperate. "Do
your worst."
"Er, Professor Longbottom," Peter tentatively interrupted, and Remus winced.
This was going to take some interesting explaining later, he imagined. "Maybe
you should just leave Remus here. I know his mum's sick and all, but if he
doesn't want to go," Peter trailed off uncertainly.
"He doesn't get a choice in the matter," Longbottom ground out, and Remus tried
kicking the hands wrapped around his ankle as the professor gave a wrenching
tug.
"What's going on?" Black's voice came from the vicinity of the door, and Remus
held back a groan. Why didn't they just make a party out of this? "Oh, never
mind, Lupin's involved. That pretty much explains everything."
"Fuck off, Black, no one asked you!" Remus hollered from under his bed,
grunting as Longbottom gave another wrenching pull.
"Oh Jesus, I don't even want to know."
"Well good, because no one's offering to tell you, Potter," Remus growled as
Potter butted his big nose in with the rest.
He wondered what it would have been like if he'd met the same fate that
Potter's mother had. Of course he'd rather have not met the werewolf at all
that particular night. But since he had, maybe it wouldn't have been all that
much of a tragedy if he'd died instead. After all, it was a hell of tragedy for
his parents to have to live with and raise a chronically diseased child. An
inhuman child.
"Why don't you boys go on down to the common room and let me deal with this,"
Longbottom tried to diffuse the situation diplomatically, and Remus could see
his three dormmates shift their feet reluctantly. He watched Peter's shoes move
closer to the bed, though, instead of towards the door. Moments later, Peter's
face appeared as the other boy bent down to get a better look.
"Maybe you really should go with him, Remus," Peter offered hesitantly. Of all
the times for Peter to stick up for him. Remus shot him a pained look as he
kicked at Longbottom's grappling hands again.
"I don't want to go with him. I'd rather run around the great
hall at noon naked as a jaybird."
"It can't be as bad as that, can it?" The incredulity in Peter's voice made it
clear that the other boy didn't understand why he was protesting this so hard.
"You have no idea, Pete."
As if Peter would ever have a clue. As if any of them would, his back-stabbing
Defense Against the Dark Arts professor included. It was like expecting a lion
to understand what it might be like to be a wolf. They were human, and he
wasn't. Even if his dormmates weren't aware of that particular fact, it didn't
change things.
"Peter, James, Sirius? Leave. Now." Well, it looked like Longbottom had finally
decided to forgo diplomacy. Peter reluctantly climbed to his feet, and Remus
saw the three of them head for the door. "Remus, get out from under there."
"No," Remus snarled. "I don't need your help. Just go away." Longbottom scowled
at him before letting go of Remus' ankle abruptly, causing Remus to fall back
with a thump against the leg of the bed he was holding so tightly.
"This isn't a joke, you only have a short time before the moon rises, and try
to understand that I'm responsible for everyone's well being in this instance,
yours included," Longbottom muttered angrily with a tired sigh before pulling
out his wand, aiming it at Remus, and muttering a simple summoning spell. Remus
felt himself scoot across the floor. Longbottom reached over and grabbed the
back of his shirt, hauling him up onto his feet and pulling the fabric tight as
the man got a good, solid grip.
"Finite Incantatem," Frank muttered, and Remus was in total control of his limbs once again.
"Let me go!" He twisted violently in Longbottom's grasp, but the professor wasn't about to make the same mistake twice, it seemed. As it was, Remus realized he was probably lucky that Longbottom hadn't strangled him while he'd been so complacent.
"I've had about all I'm going to take from you, tonight, Brat." The words were emphasized with a jerk as Longbottom all but dragged him to the door. "You, of all people, should know how dangerous tonight's little stunt could have been. What were you thinking?"
"Fuck off," He growled softly as Longbottom pulled him down the dorm stairs.
They silently made their way through the common room. Remus only wished that
the same could have been said for his dormmates.
"Have fun in detention…" Potter mocked in a bright, cheery voice, and Remus
tried lunging at him, but Longbottom's grasp was unbreakable.
"You're just lucky they didn't haul you off sooner," Black added, looking oddly
sympathetic, which was surprisingly more infuriating to Remus than if Sirius
had simply joined in on the taunting. "You'll feel better when you get back.
It's not like you're that crazy."
Fuck, if anyone was a couple sandwiches short, it was Black. Not him!
Longbottom didn't give him much of a chance to offer any sort of retaliation
though, as the man forcefully pulled him through the portrait door. "Look,
Remus, I realize that it's not easy. But you have to understand that you don't have
a choice in this, you have to take these precautions. It's the only way that
the headmaster is willing to keep you here."
Remus glared at him as the anger flushed his face. The man just wanted to shove
Remus in the shack, shut the door, and then pat himself on the back for a job
well done. He wondered if the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor felt a
rush of pride in being able to tame and subdue a dangerous eleven-year-old
werewolf. It had to be right up there with successfully catching a cute, fluffy
crup. Maybe the headmaster would give Longbottom points for outsmarting Remus
and containing the threat of a dark creature run amok.
"So what are you, my fucking babysitter? I didn't ask you to hold my hand
through all of this. I would have gone to the shack all by myself. I don't need
you," Remus tried jerking away again, but Longbottom just hauled him back up
against his side.
"Well, guess what, you have me anyway. So buck up and face the music,"
Longbottom hissed between his teeth, a sure indication that his patience was
hanging on by a very thin thread. Not that Remus cared.
"Oh yeah, I've got you to support me," Remus mocked. "Color me lucky. Aren't I
just the envy of all the first years."
"I've done nothing but be supportive of you from the start," Longbottom
lectured as they passed through the main doors and headed across the grass.
"One would think that you'd give a little less lip."
"Oh please, like you're actually doing this because you care about me." Remus
felt fully entitled to yell out that particular accusation since they were both
outside now. "You're just like every other professor here. Bet it was fun for
you, having your own pet werewolf for a while. What did you expect me to do,
bark on command?"
"You are the most exasperating brat. I don't know where you get these ideas,"
Longbottom sighed as he tiredly pointed his wand and muttered a spell that
froze the Whomping Willow.
"Me either. Crazy isn't it, how I thought you were actually cool. I actually
thought I could trust you. Yeah, well, you sure proved me wrong. You're just
doing your job. Next year, you'll be gone and I'll be someone else's problem,
won't I?"
This time, Remus had no problems pulling out of Longbottom's grasp and
careening into the tunnel. He all but ran to the shack, conscious of the fact
that Longbottom wouldn't dare follow him. At least it was one small
consolation.
They let him be in pain in peace.
*****
