Ross's couch was comfortable enough, and Phoebe woke relatively refreshed. Ross was already on his way out and invited her to eat whatever she wanted. She found enough fruit and juice to make a satisfying breakfast, then took a long shower. She scrubbed herself thoroughly, wondering at her body. It was thinner and had definitely never given birth. It was harder, rougher, stronger, and Phoebe felt a little saddened by the thought that all of those things had been necessary in this world, with this Phoebe.
After washing her hair three times she turned off the shower and dried herself off. She eyed her black sweatshirt and pants, then looked through Ross's clothes with only a hint of guilt. Ross was taller but he had shorts and a t-shirt that fit nicely, and she even helped herself to a pair of his boxers and socks. She then did what she could with her hair, which wasn't much with the tools Ross had. After combing it for what seemed like hours, she found a rubber band and used that as an ersatz scrunchy. Of course he had no makeup, which Phoebe mildly regretted as she would have loved to try some different shadings on this thinner face. Phoebe grinned at her reflection, trying to see if her dimples were any different.
If Phoebe had learned anything from Monica's no-nonsense approach to life, it was to recognize when she was being silly in an effort to avoid doing work. So she forced herself to turn away from the mirror. Phoebe sat at Ross's desk, sharing space with his bed in the bedroom, and picked up the phone.
Ross had told her he would be back at five, but Phoebe knew enough about him not to be surprised when he showed up at three, talking about having a late-afternoon staff meeting cancelled. Phoebe gave him a reassuring smile, letting him know she was accepting what he said at face value.
Ross studied her for a moment, taking in the fact that she was wearing his clothes. Evidently he decided not to comment about it. "So, how'd your search go?"
Phoebe's smile dimmed. "I can't find my husband at all. He really is in Europe but I can't find out where, exactly."
"Oh." Ross sat down on the bed. "Where does that put us with your plan?"
"Well..." Phoebe sighed. "I don't know. I love him but I've only known him for three years. You, Ross, I've known for almost fourteen years. My connection to you and everyone else is still stronger."
"Uh huh." The disbelief grew a little stronger in Ross, to Phoebe's dismay. "Well, I called Chandler and he can come next weekend. Monica will be here, too."
"Oh, yay." Phoebe smiled. "And Rachel?"
Ross sighed. "Are you sure we need Rachel?"
"Oh my, yes!" Phoebe's eyes widened. "She's a part of us, she's a part of you, we need her."
"O-okay." Ross shifted uncomfortably. "My father will talk to her father and let me know where we can reach her."
"Great." Phoebe beamed. "And you gave me a good idea. I called Joey's mother a few minutes ago and found out that Joey lives there but he's at work. I was going to go out and meet him tomorrow."
"Why, why tomorrow?"
"Because I wanted to be here when you got home. I didn't want you to think I'd run away or anything." Phoebe stood up, feeling slightly awkward. "Can I fix you dinner? I'm no Monica but she did teach me some stuff."
Ross seemed to consider this for a moment. "All right."
Phoebe smiled, then found her way to the kitchen. She began another inventory of contents, and scrounged together what she could. He didn't have much but he did have some eggs, which weren't high on Phoebe's list of favorite foods but would do in a pinch. An omelet would be acceptable.
Ross came in while she was still placing various things on the counter. He sat at the small kitchen table and just watched her for a while. Phoebe began humming as she prepared dinner, waiting for whatever Ross was planning to spring on her.
"So," he finally said, "do you know what I have the most problem with?"
"Oh!" Phoebe turned, stared hard at him, tried to read his aura. "The fact that your clothes fit me?"
Ross's brow furrowed. "Uh, no."
"Oh." Phoebe shrugged, turned back to the counter. "You'll have to tell me then."
Ross was silent a moment or two before he spoke again. "Well, it's this. You say that I, I'm getting married to Rachel Green, that I have a child with her already."
"Yup! Emma."
"Emma. But see, I knew her while she was still growing up, I, I watched her all through high school." Ross sounded almost plaintive. "I know the kind of guys she went after, and none of them were anything like me. So, so I kind of have a hard time believing that... that, Rachel could ever... ever find me attractive."
"Oh Ross." Phoebe cracked the eggs in the skillet, thinking hard. "Rachel didn't know what she wanted, not for a long time. She thought she wanted someone who was rich and would give her a comfortable life, and that's why she almost married Barry. But at the very last minute she realized she needed happiness more than she needed security."
Phoebe added the various ingredients she had prepared to the eggs. "She then went out with this Italian guy because he was gorgeous and she thought that sexual attraction was all she needed, but then that wore off and she knew that couldn't be right, either."
"I see," Ross said faintly. "She didn't want attractive men and she didn't want rich men, so naturally she went straight for me."
Phoebe looked up, opened a cupboard, found a plate. She slid the omelet she had made onto it, then set it somewhat forcibly in front of Ross. "You don't understand. She didn't need someone who was fabulously wealthy, just someone who could manage all right. She didn't need someone who prided themselves on their looks, just someone who took care of their body and appearance. And most of all, she needed someone who would care for her, someone who would love her for who she was, not for who they could make her to be. Now, eat up."
Ross looked at her with shock. After a minute, he looked down at the omelet, then back up again. "I, uh, need a fork."
"Oops!" Phoebe turned and opened two drawers before she found the utensils. She grabbed a fork and handed it to Ross. "Here."
He took it with a small smile. "Thank you, Phoebe."
"You're welcome." Phoebe grinned, then turned back and began making her own dinner.
---
The restaurant was almost empty at four in the afternoon. Phoebe glanced around and sat at a table towards the front. Eventually a waiter came over and set a glass and a menu in front of her. "Hi. Our special today is shark soup. Can I get you something to drink?"
Phoebe looked up at the waiter, feeling her chest tighten. "H-hi, Joey."
The waiter blinked in surprise. He was broad-chested and muscular, and his hair carefully sculpted to look casual and neat. Phoebe could only see one difference, and that was his eyes seemed to lack the innate spark of joy that always made Phoebe feel good to be around him.
Joey cocked his head slightly. "Do I know you?"
"Yes. I mean no." Phoebe felt unaccountably flustered. "I mean, you're supposed to know me."
"Oh." Joey looked her up and down, and Phoebe could guess at what he saw. She'd used some of the wad of money to buy a second-hand blouse and skirt, along with some makeup. She now felt comfortable and breezy in her appearance, and she could see the effect it was having on Joey. He grinned. "How you doin'?"
Phoebe squealed, jumped to her feet, and hugged him. "Oh, you do know me! I mean, you don't, but you know that you should know. And you find me pretty!" She squeezed him tightly. "Thank you!"
"Uh, you're welcome." Joey squirmed for a bit, then took her shoulders and separated them. "Look, I get off work at midnight, but if you wanna hook up after that I'm free."
Phoebe laughed, unable to contain her glee. It was him, no matter how much his life had changed, and she loved him a whole bunch. "What I'd like to have you do is come over to Ross's place next weekend. Here, let me give you the address." She took the pen and pad from the apron Joey was wearing and quickly jotted the information down.
Joey took the pad back, frowning. "Who's Ross?"
You were best man at his wedding. Phoebe kept herself from saying that, knowing it wouldn't help. "He's just a guy I'm staying with. I'd like you to meet him and some other people, too."
Joey looked a little alarmed. "Look, I don't want to get in the way if you're already hooked up with this Ross guy."
"I'm not!" Phoebe bit her lip, then said mental apologies to Mike. She stepped back into Joey, put her arms around his neck, drew him in. She kissed him the way he had kissed her once, softly but with passion and promise, the perfect kiss.
Joey responded easily, and for a few seconds they held perfection. Then Phoebe stepped back, feeling somewhat breathless. "Please come. Next Saturday around noon. Okay?"
He reached up, touched his lips while looked at her with wonderment. Then he grinned. "Sure, okay. It's a date."
"Yay!" Phoebe clapped her hands together and bounced once. Then she whirled and left the restaurant, feeling very happy.
Joey was coming, they were all coming, and she knew there wasn't anything they couldn't do together.
---
Phoebe sat in the bedroom at Ross's request. Ross wanted to greet everyone as they arrived and "ease them" into an introduction to Phoebe. The intervening days hadn't done much to alleviate his concern. Ross kept coming home at odd times, still trying to catch her in the middle of doing something nefarious. Phoebe had alternated between cleaning his apartment and trying to contact Mike, have much more success with the former than the latter.
A muted knocking came from the apartment's front door, and Phoebe felt her stomach lurch. Through the ajar bedroom door she could hear Ross open the front door. "Hey Mon."
"Hi." Phoebe felt a tingle run through her at the familiar voice. "Is Chandler here?"
"He's on his way, the plane was late getting in."
"Oh. Well, who else is coming?"
"Besides Rachel?"
"She said she'd be here."
"Oh. Well, there's this other guy coming, never met him before."
"Friend of your new roommate?"
"Uh, yeah."
"So really, what's this all about?"
"You'll see in a bit."
Another knock at the door. Ross opened it. "Hey, man, good to see you."
"Hi. Sorry, I don't have any presents for you. I was going to give you an air sickness bag but I ended up needing it on the cab ride over. I met this guy in the hallway, says some woman invited him here."
"Oh. Hi, you must be Joey."
"Yeah, hi. Ross I take it."
"Yeah. This is my sister Monica and our friend Chandler."
"Hey. Hey. So, uh, where's-"
"She'll be out in a minute, I'd like to get everyone here."
"Oh. Uh, how many more people are coming?"
Another knock at the door.
"Just one, and I'm guessing that's her."
"Let me get it."
"O-okay, Mon."
The sound of the door opening again. "Rachel!"
"Monica, hi."
Phoebe felt her breath leave her. It was her, Rachel, and that meant all of them were here, here now. And Phoebe felt doubt and worry rise up - that she was about to let them all down.
"So, let me introduce everyone. You know my brother Ross, and that's his old college roommate Chandler."
"Yeah, I think I met him a couple of times on Thanksgiving."
"And once at a college party. Nice to see you again."
"Oh? Oh! Oh yeah. Nice to, um, see you again."
"And, uh, this is Joey."
"Joey Tribbiani. How you doin'?"
"I, I'm doing fine, I guess."
"So hey, the old gang's here plus one newcomer. What's the plan, Ross?"
"Well, it's two newcomers. I have to tell you, tell you all about this woman I met."
"Oh? Are you getting married?"
"No-no, nothing like that. I only met her a few days ago, but, see, she, she says..."
"She says she knows us in another universe."
"Mon, I was going to try and build up to that."
"I'm sorry, did you say another universe?"
"Yeah. Okay, it's like this. She says there are two of her. One answered a flyer and became Monica's roommate. That one became her lifelong friend, and through Monica got to know all of us. We, we were supposed to have the best time together, the six of us."
"Uh, Ross. You don't actually believe her, do you?"
"She, she knows things. I mean, personal things I, I'd only tell a good friend."
"So she's trying to scam you out of something. Has she asked for any money?"
"Not a cent. She borrowed some of my clothes until she bought some of her own, with her own money. She's been living here because she doesn't know where in this world she lives."
"At a guess, I'd say Bellevue."
"Yeah. I mean, how, how is she got to know me? I haven't seen Monica for, like, forever."
"Well, see, she says if she'd been Monica's roommate, then Monica would never have been forced out of her apartment. And, and she says you, that when you ran out of your wedding, you would have been able to find her, and, and you would have become Monica's new roommate."
"I didn't want to ask you on the phone, Rachel, but did you run out on your wedding to Barry?"
"I... I did. I did go to where I thought you lived, but all I found was this guy with a hammer who said you'd moved out, so, so I... I went back and... and married Barry because... because I had no better place to.... Who is this woman? How does she know all this?"
"Uh, am I a part of this? How'd I get into this group?"
"Oh. Well, when Monica moved out, Chandler was so disgusted by her eviction that he moved out, too. If he'd stayed, then he would have looked for a new roommate. And that would have been you."
"What, me live with this guy?"
"Hey, this is news to me, too. So okay, I don't know if I buy all of this, but what does Crazy Alternate-Universe Lady want from us?"
"She, uh, wants our help getting back. She thinks that, that through us, she can somehow... connect back to her world, find the Phoebe there, and trade back with her."
"Well, good luck with that. Monica, great seeing you again, but I have to get back home."
"Rachel! Please, stay."
"I'm sorry Monica, but I thought I was seeing you again to catch up on some old times, not to feed some insane person's fantasy. I mean, come on, Ross, how could you possibly buy into all this? I always thought of you as smarter than that."
"I, I don't know, she... she gets to you. I don't know how crazy people act, and she definitely isn't normal, but she's... I mean, she smiles all the time. And real smiles, smiles that make you believe she's genuinely made happy by everything that happens. When she talks about us, she gets so excited. I mean, maybe she's genuinely crazy and somehow got obsessed with all of us and built this fantasy in her head where we all knew each other."
"I'd say that's the most likely explanation."
"Yeah, but... look, I don't know about you guys, but my life hasn't been everything I ever wanted. I'm thirty-five, divorced, in a dead-end job without much prospect for anything else. I, I've got nothing left to lose by believing in her. How about you guys?"
"I know, I know Denny's wasn't what I had in mind what I decided to be a chef."
"Okay, my job in Tulsa is boring as dirt, which is more interesting than you might think but it's still dirt. And I've never had a relationship that's lasted longer than a Mentho."
"Hey, I'm not about to give you guys my resume. I mean yeah, it's tough out there right now and sometimes it's slow between acting jobs, but I'm pretty happy with my life."
"Okay, well, I'm glad to know that. Rachel, what about you? Still married to Barry?"
"Not... not that it's any of your business, Ross, but, well, we got divorced a couple of years ago. And he took my best friend in the divorce and somehow managed to convince everyone it was all my fault, but that doesn't mean... that..."
"Rachel, it's okay, sit down here. Ross, let her be."
"I, I'm sorry Rachel. I really wasn't trying to make you cry. But, but maybe, maybe we could... hear her out?"
The silence stretched. Phoebe took a deep breath and stood up. She discovered that she was trembling and tried to still herself. Her heart ached with the power of the emotions emanating from the other room but she had to be strong, for them as well as herself.
The bedroom door was fully opened. She met Ross's eyes, saw in them the emotional stress he was under, too. "Whenever you're ready."
Phoebe nodded. Ross went back into the living room, leaving Phoebe to enter by herself.
Five pairs of eyes watched her intently. Her gaze drifted around the room. Monica, who looked almost frumpy and hunched in on herself, all the confidence gone from her bearing. Chandler, who looked a lot... softer, flabbier, still the same intelligent eyes and quick humor but a demeanor that said he'd given up on the world. Outwardly Rachel looked the same, her nearly-perfect appearance only spoiled by eyes that had been very recently crying. Joey was dressed up, obviously trying to impress a date. Ross was just sitting in a chair, looking at her with an earnest expression.
But despite all the changes, it was them, it was truly them. Just the sight of the five people who had made such a difference in her life filled Phoebe with joy, and she beamed a greeting at them. "Hi!"
No one smiled in return; no one showed the slightest sign of recognition. Only Joey responded. "So, are we still going out afterwards?"
Phoebe grinned. "You'll have to ask again, afterwards."
"So," Chandler said with a frown, "is what Ross told us true?"
"Yeah. I'm Phoebe. I moved in with Monica, then I moved in with my grandma and Rachel moved in with you Monica, then Joey moved in with Chandler, then Joey moved into his own apartment when he got Days of Our Lives, then Joey lost that job and moved back in, then Ross moved in with Chandler and Joey, then Ugly Naked Guy moved out and Ross moved in there, then Chandler moved in with Monica and Rachel moved in with me, then my apartment caught on fire and only one person could live there so Rachel moved in with Joey, then Chandler and Monica moved to Westchester and Rachel moved in with Ross and Joey moved to Los Angeles and I moved in with Mike and here we all are!" Phoebe beamed at them.
Rachel shook her head and leaned forward. "So, exactly how many of these guys have I slept with?"
"Oh, you never slept with Joey, you were just roommates. I mean yeah, you had one date but it never really went anywhere."
"Uh, back up just a smidge." Chandler looked puzzled and alarmed. "Why exactly did I move in with Monica? Did we get married or something?"
Phoebe nodded. "Yes, but only after you started living together. And you didn't move to Westchester until after the twins arrived."
"The, the twins?" Monica's eyes were very wide.
"Yeah. Jack and Erica."
Monica looked over at Chandler, then blushed and looked back down.
"Look, I don't know who slept with who-" Joey broke off. "Did I sleep with anyone?"
"Oh, lots of people, but no one in this room."
"Oh. Well, look, I just want to know... who got me the job at Days of Our Lives?"
"No one here, you got it yourself." Phoebe frowned. "Actually, I don't know what the difference is, why you didn't get it this time. Maybe it was because Chandler lent you a lot of money over the years, so you could get head shots or other things, or just letting you pay the rent late or buying you food so you could keep looking for an acting job and didn't have to find other work. Well, except the time you worked at Central Perk. Oh, it's too complicated, all I know is that Chandler was your 'best bud' and helped you through some tough times and that without him you may not have ever found the chance."
Now it was Joey who frowned and looked at Chandler. Rather than blushing Joey shook his head and focused back on Phoebe. "So how do I know you?"
Phoebe smiled widely at him. "We can talk for hours and hours about all sorts of stuff. I tried to teach you the guitar and French and you gave me the best birthday present ever. And you're the only person in the world that can tell me and my sister apart."
Joey's frown deepened. "So I still don't know what I'm doing here."
"You're here because... I need your help." Phoebe looked around at everyone. "This body isn't mine, my body is in another world, and it's pregnant, and I really need to get back to it. Plus this body's owner needs to find her way back. So I need you guys with me as I go look for her, because you guys always gave me strength and I need to feel that when I try this or it won't work."
"So, okay, answer this for me." Monica looked up, her eyes glittering with the intensity Phoebe knew well. "What good will come of sending you back? Everything's gone horribly wrong already in this world obviously, and bringing back your other self won't change that. It seems to me that you just want to use us to get back to your oh-so-perfect world and leave us all behind."
Phoebe felt the words like a blow. She moved over and knelt in front of Monica, grabbing her hands. "No, no. What I want is for you to discover how strong you all are together. If you can... let yourselves connect, you'll find the strength and love I knew in my world. And even when I'm gone that won't go away."
Phoebe looked around at all of them. "I didn't tell Ross this, but I had another, even more selfish reason for gathering you. I really wanted to see all of you together again, because in my world that might never happen. We've grown apart, moved on to different aspects of our lives, and even though we love each other dearly we may never come together again, not the way we used to. Here, you guys have a wonderful opportunity to start brand new what I'm only seeing the end of. I wanted to be here and experience the beginning of it, and if I can bring the other Phoebe back I'll be so jealous of her because she'll get to see it all blossom anew."
No one seemed to want to look at each other. Monica gently withdrew her hands. "That's a nice speech, but I still think you're crazy. This kind of stuff, it just doesn't happen."
"So?" Ross stood up, bent down, and put his arm around Phoebe. "Let's say she is crazy, that this whole thing about alternate universes is whacko. Does that mean her end goal is insane? That wanting us - all of us - to become friends and be happy is not worth accomplishing?"
"Oh sure," Rachel said with a hint of disdain. "In her fantasy you and I live together. For all I know this is just some sick and twisted thing you and her and this guy and maybe even Monica put together to try and get us together. I won't have any part of it, Ross."
"Hey! I'm not part of anything sick and twisted." Joey squirmed in his chair. "Look, I don't understand anything of what's going on, and no matter what the crazy blonde says I don't know any of you. But I'm an actor, and I've gotten pretty good at knowing when people are pretending. She, she's either the best actress I've seen or she isn't pretending. She really thinks we... the six of us can be happy. I don't know if I believe her, but I don't see nothing wrong with letting her believe it. Or Ross."
Monica glanced quickly out of the corner of her eye. "Or me. I believe her."
"You believe she's some alternate world body snatcher?" Chandler asked.
"No. But I believe she wants nothing but good things."
"Oh." Chandler studied Monica, who kept her face in profile to his, not meeting his gaze but not turning away either. Then he looked at Phoebe, and she saw something she seldom saw in Chandler: quiet anger. "You're good, you're very good, you know how to manipulate us and our feelings. I don't like it, I don't like it at all."
Phoebe sighed. "You and I played a game once, where-"
"Stop it! You're going to tell me some story that's going to try and make me all weepy, and I won't let you do it."
"Why not?" Phoebe cocked her head. "You like being alone in Tulsa that much?"
Chandler swore softly. "You're still doing it, manipulating me with words."
"I, I'm just trying to... to get you past this silly disbelief. I think the problem is that you want to believe so bad that it scares you, so you have to get all Mr. I-Don't-Like-You. But, but Chandler, I do like you. I even love you as a dear friend. Let me love you, let all of us love you. If you do, I think you'll like it very much."
"Bah." Chandler shot to his feet. "I'm going back to Tulsa. Call me in another two years, Ross, we'll have to torture each other again."
He turned to leave but was stopped by a hand reaching up and grabbing his arm. Surprised, he looked down at Rachel. She was looking straight ahead at nothing at all, and her voice was slightly tremulous as she said, "Please don't go."
"Oh my God." Chandler shook his head. "She got to you, too."
"I... a long time ago, I went looking for Monica. I couldn't find her, and I gave up and went back to a life I knew was going to be miserable. I can't tell you how much I've regretted that." She looked up at Chandler, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "I don't want to manipulate you. I just want to let you know that if you let this go by you may regret it, too."
Chandler swallowed. "My life is not miserable."
"Th-then you're very lucky." Rachel began sobbing, letting Chandler's arm go, reaching into her purse.
Phoebe quickly looked over to Ross but he was way ahead of her. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Here."
"Thanks." Rachel took it, avoiding Ross's eyes, and began dabbing her face while attempting to control her sobs and hiccupping in the process.
Chandler met Phoebe's gaze, and the anger was no less evident. "See what you've done?"
Truth be told, Phoebe was feeling somewhat wretched, Rachel's pain deeper and more powerful than she'd guessed. But Phoebe felt no less certain of her cause and returned his gaze calmly. "Remember that line from those books you made me read? I will not say 'do not weep' for not all tears are an evil."
Chandler thinned his lips. He looked at Rachel, then at Monica, then back at Phoebe. With an annoyed grunt he sat back down on the couch, arms folded across his chest.
Phoebe sagged slightly with relief, then stood up again. The air was thick with emotion and it wasn't the joy and happiness she'd hoped for. But they were here, they were staying, and that was all she needed. "Okay. I'm going to begin now. Ross, light the incense please."
Ross nodded.
Joey looked confused. "What do you expect us to do?"
Phoebe smiled at him. "Stay here. Think good thoughts."
"That's it?"
"That's it." Phoebe went back into the bedroom, took a pillow from the bed, and reentered the living room. The smoke was already beginning to drift up and Phoebe took a good deep breath. She exhaled happily, then arranged herself on the floor next to the coffee table, her head on the pillow.
Phoebe took another breath and closed her eyes. "Find your happy place. It's there, inside. And it's bigger than you remember. Because you've made room for everyone else. Our happy place always has room for our friends."
"Does it have to? Because I just had my happy place remodeled."
Phoebe opened her eyes a slit to look at Chandler. "There are no questions in the happy place."
Chandler looked abashed. "Sorry."
Phoebe gave him a quick smile, then closed her eyes again. "My happy place is... is Central Perk. It's busy, there's Gunther in the background preparing our coffee, and Ross is sitting in one chair, Joey in the other, and Monica is sitting on the couch with Chandler on one side and Rachel on the other, and I'm standing... standing at the microphone, singing... can... can you hear me... I'm singing Smelly Cat, can, can you..."
"...hear me?"
Phoebe blinked. She was in Central Perk. It appeared to be after hours, for the place was empty and it was dark outside and in. She had her guitar strapped around her shoulders but there was no one to sing to.
There was a whisper of movement, and Phoebe peered as best as she could. A voice, a faint voice, called out from the darkness. "Can you hear me? This is dumb, this is really dumb, but are you out there? Your stupid husband wants his stupid wife back."
Phoebe bristled. "He's not stupid."
Something shifted in the dim area next to the couch, took on a form. A familiar form, very similar to Phoebe's. This one had a duffel bag slung over her shoulder. She looked young, no more than twenty. Phoebe wondered if she looked the same age in that woman's eyes.
The other woman peered back, then grimaced and looked down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called him stupid."
Phoebe wanted to rush over but found herself sort of held in place. Instead she asked anxiously, "Is he all right?"
"Yeah. Yeah, he's fine, they're all fine, but they want you back."
"Oh? Do they know about the other world?"
"No, they just think I've gone crazy and are hoping that if I relive the past again I'll get back to the right present."
"Oh. Well, that's sort of the same thing."
"I guess. So how do we fix this?"
Phoebe once again attempted to move away from the microphone, but she appeared to be stuck in place. "I don't know," she admitted.
"Oh. Well, I don't know either. All I know is that Scarf and Romy jumped me before I could ditch the purse, and I knew I'd have to fight them, and I didn't want to, I didn't want to a lot, and I started thinking that maybe the normal life wouldn't have been so bad after all, even with the risk of ovens."
Phoebe nodded. "You started wishing that you'd taken the number from the flyer and called Monica and tried a normal life."
"Well... yeah." The other woman walked around the room. "This is Chester's place, isn't it? I spent the summer here once a few years back."
"Chester?" Phoebe looked around. "You don't see Central Perk?"
"What's Central Perk?"
"We... we're in the happy place," Phoebe decided. "It looks different to each of us, but it's the same place."
"Oh. My happy place is Chester's apartment? I guess. He mostly wasn't around so I was by myself and no one bothered me, and I needed that."
"I, I don't know who Chester is, so I don't see his apartment. We can probably only see things we remember in the happy place."
"Oh? Hmm. I wish I could see what you see."
"Let's... let's go someplace we both know. How about this?"
The coffee house faded, and an apartment formed around them. The other woman looked around with disinterest. "Oh. Grandma's place."
Phoebe smiled. "You see it too? Yay!"
The other woman looked at her. "Did you live here? With her?"
"Yes, for a couple of years. Did you?"
"Once in a while, when I needed to lay low. Until she died. I supposed she loved you."
"And you too."
"You know who else loved us?" The apartment faded, was replaced by a hallway in a house.
Phoebe felt a sudden cold terror. "No."
Ahead, in the hallway, a fourteen-year-old version of her sister came out into the hallway, a blank expression on her face. Ursula beckoned to them. "Come in here. I want to show you something."
"NO!" Phoebe tried to close her eyes but couldn't, and inexorably found herself moving towards the kitchen. "This is not a happy place! This is not a happy place!"
The hallway faded, and Phoebe found herself in the back seat of a car, surrounded by cans. Somehow the other woman was also in a back seat but facing her. She seemed desperately apologetic. "I'm sorry. I was trying to hurt you. I shouldn't have."
Phoebe felt the panic subside slightly as she gulped in air. "Why? Why did you want to hurt me?"
"Because. Because your life is so perfect and normal. It should have been me. Instead, it became bad."
The scene shifted, and now Phoebe found herself in Monica's apartment. "So, your share would be four-fifty plus half the food. This would be your room." Monica opened the door, and Phoebe moved inside, seeing an emptiness she would soon fill. "What do you think?"
Phoebe turned around, and saw her other self drop into a crouch, preparing for a fight. "Do you see him? He's going to try and mug me tonight."
Phoebe looked around the empty room. "No. All I see is Monica."
"Of course not. You don't have memories like this." The other woman ducked an attack, lashed out with her leg.
Desperately Phoebe thought back. They were at a beach with their mother and sister. Phoebe looked at her other self, saw a lanky twelve-year-old. The girl slowly relaxed. "Why this? Our stepfather was supposed to meet us here, but instead he robbed a store on the way and got arrested."
"But that hasn't happened yet, and this was fun, the anticipation was fun." Phoebe watched as Ursula ran towards the ocean and dived in, displaying a grace in water Phoebe would never be able to duplicate.
"But we were disappointed. Everything, everything ended in disappointment." The scene shifted to the outside of the Gremlin, which Cindy had somehow managed to get working long enough to hook a hose from the tailpipe to the front window. "Everything ended badly. I kept hoping, trying to find something good, but it never came. Even the job, the aromatherapy, I couldn't keep that up for long."
"You can. You did. I did. With a little help." Phoebe concentrated, took a guess, and Ross and Rachel's apartment appeared. "Do you see this?"
"Yes. This is where they took me. Where those two lived."
"Good." Phoebe looked around, saw Ross and Rachel sitting together, holding hands, Chandler and Monica standing over them, laughing. Joey sitting in a chair, grinning widely. "Do you see them, too?'
"Uh huh. Yeah, they all got together and managed to talk me into looking for you."
"All of them? You probably don't see Joey."
"Which one is he? The gorgeous one?"
Phoebe was surprised both by the fact that her other self had a memory of Joey and that she shared Phoebe's opinion of his looks. "Yes. How do you know him?"
"Oh, uh, I guess he flew in when they were looking for me."
"Who... who was looking for you?"
"All these people. Plus that other guy, your husband."
"But why were they looking for you?"
"Because I ran away."
Phoebe looked at her other self, and suddenly the scene shifted back to the house, her bedroom, the drawers flung open and clothes scattered everywhere. Phoebe mournfully began stuffing some of the clothes into the backpack that had appeared over her shoulder. "Why did you run away?"
The other woman, who now looked fourteen, was also grabbing clothes from the floor and putting them into her backpack. "I mean, what would you do if you suddenly woke up in a strange man's apartment and you were several months pregnant?"
"Oh." Phoebe shook her head sadly. "You didn't need to, though. He's a nice man."
"Oh my God, he's too much. He represents too many of the things I hate. Lazy affluence, having everything and not sharing it with anyone. I don't understand how you could possibly live with him."
Phoebe considered that. "I, I guess I've changed more than I thought. He's not lazy; he was a lawyer until it got too much for him. He's just trying to find a new direction for his life, and I'm helping him with that."
"And in the meantime eating caviar and wearing designer clothes. I bet you watch PBS, too!"
"I do not!" Except when Joey had been on. And then Phoebe found herself crouched inside a cardboard box on its side in an alley, looking down at a Sesame Street key ring.
"You forgot all this, didn't you?" The other woman held up her key ring. "Forgot all about the cold and misery. Now you just live your happy rich life and ride your flying pony whenever you want."
"I don't have a flying pony," Phoebe muttered. She dropped the key ring on the ground. "And I had a happy and rich life even when I was still poor."
The other woman almost sneered. "Because of those other people."
"Yes. Because of them." Phoebe stood and they were back in Ross's apartment. "Joey. Monica. Rachel. Chandler. Ross." They appeared as she named them. "I didn't forget how bad everything was, but I didn't let it stop me from loving these people. And they, in turn, made my life ever-so-much better. I had a family. For the first time, I had a real, loving family. And if it changed me a little, that's all right. It was for the better."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am. And so are you." Phoebe held her other self's gaze. "Otherwise you wouldn't have so desperately wanted to change your life."
The other woman dropped her eyes after a moment and didn't respond.
Phoebe looked back at the memory of her friends. "I wish I could show you more, how happy we were, the wonderful times we had. But, you know, you can have it, too."
"I can't." The other woman was near to tears. "I can't change it now, it's too late."
"It is not too late!" Phoebe stamped her foot. "They're back there right now, waiting for you. Ross, he took me in, gave me a place to stay because I didn't know where you lived, and he helped me bring everyone together, and they came and they helped! They're just so open and willing and ready to have you be their friend."
"How can they be? They don't know me. I don't know them."
"You'll know them if you try. And you can help them. Ross and Rachel, they're each other's lobster."
"Lobster?"
"You know." Phoebe made a motion with her hands.
"Oh, the claws. And Chandler and Monica too, I suppose."
"Yes, see!" Phoebe beamed. "They'll be able to love each other a whole bunch if you help them find the way."
"Do..." The other woman looked at the memory of Joey, looked away. "Do I have a lobster?"
Phoebe grinned. "That you have to discover on your own."
"Oh. So I have to help them all hook up and maybe I'll get hooked up, too."
"You're supposed to help them heal each other, and in return you'll be healed as well."
"So easy for you to say," the other woman said bitterly. "Your life is perfect perfect."
"Not... not as perfect as all that." Phoebe fought off the memories that threatened to surface. "You're right, I, I've become too isolated from the problems that made our childhood so awful at times. When I go back, I'm going to change that. I won't live as a queen in a castle any more, because you're right, I used to despise people like that. I, I need to make certain I don't turn into everything I used to hate."
The aromatherapy clinic materialized around them. The other woman sighed wistfully. "It, it almost began here. I had a job, I actually got a paycheck. I, I don't know how it... slipped away. I just, I just didn't want to..."
"End up like Mom. I know." Phoebe shuddered. "What I eventually found out is that there can be people who can live normal lives with being mean, without deserting you when you need them the most. If, if you cultivate their friendship, if you let yourself love them, they'll love you too and they'll never, ever leave you."
The other woman hugged herself. "You promise?"
"I promise." Phoebe smiled reassuringly. "Trust me, I know."
The other woman began crying. "I, I don't want to go back there. I'm so tired and lonely and sad."
Panic began rising in Phoebe. "Are, are you saying you want to... to stay in my world?"
"Oh God, no!" She shook her head violently. "I don't want to have his baby, I don't want to live his rich wasteful life."
Phoebe felt a peculiar mix of relief and anger. She let the emotions drain away and said calmly, "What do you want, then?"
"I want to stay here!" She looked hopefully up at Phoebe. "Can I just stay here with you?"
Phoebe sighed. "I lived like that, once. I lived in a world where my memories were more real than reality itself. I don't know about you, but that didn't make me any happier or less lonely. It was only when I started... connecting to real people that I found a way to be happy."
"No, no it's too much!" The other woman whirled and began attacking. Phoebe's eyes widened, for she saw it too. The man was very large, very muscular, and he wanted Phoebe to work for him, to perform services every night for a cut of the money earned. Phoebe found her wrists gripped tightly by the man as she struggled.
Somehow the other woman's wrists were held, too. "I'm too tired to start over, I just want it all to go away!"
Phoebe kneed the man in his groin. His face suffused with anger and he spit directly into her face. Phoebe turned her head in disgust and looked at her other self. "This is fun for you? This is the moment you want to stay in?"
"N-no." The man vanished and suddenly they were under an overpass, a nice dark place sheltered from the wind, the noise of the tollway curiously relaxing. The other woman settled herself in the cement corner, pulling a blanket over her. "But I could stay here. This was safe."
Phoebe looked around. "Until we got hungry. Until we had to had to try and find - or steal - some food."
The other woman shrunk in even further. "I could always find memory of food."
"You know that wouldn't be enough."
"I... I know." The other woman clutched her blanket tightly. "I know."
Phoebe leaned in, spoke softly. "You have a wonderful life waiting for you. They're good people, they only need someone like you to bring out all their best qualities. If you open yourself up, play with them, have fun with them. That's all it takes to begin with. Everything else will follow."
The other woman moaned plaintively. "I haven't had fun in ages."
"You will again. But you know what you have to do next."
"I... I know."
The overpass vanished. A room formed around them, with washing machines, dryers, carts, and a bulletin board covered with brightly-colored pieces of paper. Phoebe closed the lid on her laundry and slid the tray full of quarters inwards. The washing machine thrummed to life.
The other woman started up her washing machine, then turned to face Phoebe. Her face was a little frightened but calm. "I, I have to know something."
"Yes?"
"Why did you come here? If you're so happy, why'd you want to change anything?"
"I didn't. I just wanted to think of a name for the baby. I wanted it to be something special, so I was going back over my life, trying to remember who had been especially helpful." She smiled. "I'd name it after you, except it's me too, and no one would know the difference."
"Oh." The other woman smiled. "Why not Melissa?"
"Melissa?" Phoebe frowned in puzzlement. "Who's Melissa?"
The other woman laughed. "We are, silly. It's our middle name."
Phoebe froze. "You... you know our middle name?"
The other woman looked equally surprised. "You don't?"
"No! Ursula had my birth certificate but she sold it to someone and she didn't remember what it was."
"Oh! I swiped all that stuff from Ursula a long time ago, I knew she couldn't take care of any of it."
"But how'd you know she had them?"
"Oh. Well, I might have been looking for some jewelry or something I could borrow for a while."
Phoebe's face was frozen in shock. "Melissa," she breathed.
The other woman nodded happily.
A smile slowly grew on Phoebe's face. "It's beautiful. It's perfect. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
They both turned towards the bulletin board. Phoebe took two steps forward and there it was. Roommate wanted. Female, non-smoker. She reached up one hand, hesitated, and pulled it back. "I'm going to miss you."
"Me too. G-good luck with little Melissa."
"Thanks." Then, with a calm strength and infinite sadness, Phoebe reached out and separated one of the strips of paper.
The other woman turned away, went back to her washing machine. "Goodbye Phoebe."
Phoebe walked over to the pay phone, lifted up the receiver, pushed some quarters into the slot. "Goodbye Phoebe."
A young woman's voice said pleasantly, "Hello?"
Phoebe's throat locked up, unable to find a way to respond. "I, I, I'm Phoebe, I saw your flyer, I was wondering... uh, are you still looking for a roommate?"
"A roommate? Phoebe, can you hear me?"
"I, I'm single, I work in aromatherapy, I can give you the name of my boss as a reference."
"Phoebe, wake up."
Her eyes flew open. Monica's face filled her vision, her expression one of concern. "Are you all right? Did, did it work?"
Phoebe's eyes widened. She reached down for her stomach, felt a reassuring lump. She grinned. "I'm back!" She encased Monica in a hug.
Monica said something like "Whouf" and hugged her back.
"Are you okay?" Rachel bent over the couch, looked down into Phoebe's face. "Do you know who I am?"
"You're Rachel!" Phoebe allowed Monica to escape for now and jumped to her feet. She grasped Rachel's shoulders and gave her a little shake. "I'm going to be your maid of honor but we have so much to do still!"
A kind of relieved sigh floated through the room. "Pheebs, I'm glad you're all right, you had us worried."
Phoebe looked over at Joey and beamed. "You came for me, you flew all the way back for me!" She flung herself into his arms. "Thank you!"
Joey chuckled. "Sure Pheebs. But... what was this about you not knowing who we were?"
Phoebe took a step back, looked at everyone. "That was... someone else. In my body. She freaked out a little, but she's all right now."
They exchanged glances, and Phoebe knew they didn't necessarily believe her. But that was all right.
Phoebe whirled around once. "Where's Mike?"
Chandler gestured vaguely in the direction of the street. "You, uh, whoever was in your body, they didn't react at all well to Mike. He was the one that suggested you- er, the person in your body use aromatherapy to travel back and try to re-remember who you were. You, um, she agreed, but only if he wasn't here because he scared her too much."
"Oh." Phoebe bit her lip. "Poor Mike."
"He didn't go far," Ross said. "He's outside waiting for us to call him. I can-"
Phoebe ran towards the window. Quickly she unlocked it and lifted it open. She leaned way out, looking left and right, and saw him. "Mike!" She screamed and waved. "Mike!"
He looked up, the anxiousness in his face giving way to joy. "Phoebe! Are you all right?"
"Not until you get up here! Hurry! I have a great name for the baby!" She gave him her biggest smile.
Mike laughed and ran towards the building entrance.
Phoebe turned around, the smile not diminishing in the least. The other five people in the room were also smiling, happy and relieved. Phoebe understood more than ever how blessed she was.
Then the front door burst open and Phoebe rushed over to embrace her husband, feeling his love add to everyone else's, and she channeled it all inside of her so the Melissa would feel it, too.
---
Phoebe's eyes opened. She sat up and looked around. Five people looked at her with various expressions. Phoebe put her hand on her stomach and felt a tremendous wave of relief when it was flat.
"So, what happened? Did you visit the land of Narnia and come back a changed woman?"
Phoebe looked at the man who had spoken. He seemed a little angry and, strangely, a little hopeful. "I, I don't know what Narnia is."
"What he's asking," another of the men said, "is whether you were able to go back to your universe."
Phoebe looked at him, then around at the other faces. They had names, she knew them. Her eyes darted about the room, automatically tagging small items of value that could fit inside a pocket.
She stopped herself, looked once more at the faces. They're good people, a voice inside her said, they only need someone like you to bring out all their best qualities.
Phoebe slowly got to her feet, wistfully eyed the front door, then faced the man that had spoken. "Yes, it worked. I'm back."
"Oh?" The man - Ross - frowned. "That, that seemed easy."
"Well, it wasn't. It hurt a little bit. But I got to meet, um, myself, and she said you helped me. Thank you."
"Er, you're welcome."
"So that's it?" The angry man - Chandler - surged to his feet. "You lie down, burn some incense, and it's all magically okay? What are you trying to do to us, woman?"
Phoebe studied him for a moment, saw the desperate confusion in him. She decided to try a smile and hold out her hand. "Hi, I'm Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay."
Chandler stared at her and her hand. Phoebe adopted a coquettish demeanor, surprised at both how easily it came to her and how much she enjoyed it. Open yourself up to them, play with them, and everything else will follow.
After a moment he sighed and shook her hand. "Chandler Bing."
Phoebe grinned, then repeated the introduction all around. She ended with the gorgeous guy, who held on to her hand after shaking it. "So, are we still going out?"
Phoebe suddenly felt a little short of breath. "But we've only just met," she said coyly.
"No we haven't. Don't you remember the kiss?"
Oh ho. Her other self had kissed this man. For some reason that made Phoebe feel even better. "No. You'll have to remind me."
She leaned in. He leaned back and looked around at the other people in the room. Phoebe felt her smile widening. Despite his apparently one-track mind, he was still shy about certain things. Phoebe would have a great deal of fun toying with him. And she was fairly certain he'd enjoy it, too.
"Well, uh, if you're really back..." Ross seemed very uncomfortable. "Do, do you remember where you live?"
Phoebe turned, the smile dimming a bit. She had a room in an abandoned building she had claimed as her own, and she occasionally rented a room at a run-down hotel for a day or two when she had the money and wanted to relax a little. Nothing she'd call a home. "I know where my stuff is. I don't need to stay here anymore."
"Where your stuff is?" Rachel cocked her head. "That isn't the same thing as saying you know where you live."
Phoebe met her eyes, resisted the urge to gloss over the truth. "I don't really have a permanent address."
"Then-" Rachel paused, then the words came out in rush. "Stay with me. I have lots of room, we can get you your own bed and everything."
"Really?" Phoebe's eyes widened in shock. "You'd do that for me?"
Rachel hesitated only a second. "Yes. The place was too big anyway after Barry moved out."
Phoebe suddenly felt like crying. She held it back, simply muttered, "Thank you."
"Sure." Rachel smiled back.
Phoebe looked over at Ross. "You'll come visit, won't you?"
"Uh..." Ross looked surprised. "Sure, if you want me to."
"Good. Thank you for taking care of my body while I was away."
"Uh, you're welcome." Ross seemed flustered. "So, uh, anyone wanna order some pizzas?"
"I'm hungry," Joey said. "Who likes pepperoni?"
"I haven't had a good New York pizza in a long time," Chandler said wistfully.
"Good. Let me order." Ross picked up his phone and sat down on the couch, perhaps coincidentally right next to Rachel. She eyed him speculatively but not, Phoebe noticed, with any distaste.
"Well, that's going to take a while." Monica stood up. "Let me see if I can whip up some appetizers."
"Good idea." Chandler also got to his feet and followed Monica into the kitchen. "You made the best mac and cheese I ever had."
Phoebe smiled. Lobsters, indeed. She looked at Ross and Rachel, who were deep into a discussion about toppings. Then her eyes met Joey's, and she felt a warm pleasant glow. She walked over and curled into a sitting position on the floor in front of his chair. "So, tell me about yourself."
"Well, I got seven sisters-"
"Seven! Oh my, I just had the one. Were you all born at once?"
"Er, no, we happened one at a time over a dozen years."
"Oh." Phoebe grinned. "That seems more normal."
"Well, yeah."
"I'm not used to normal things," Phoebe said. She reached out, began fiddling with his shoelaces. "But I think I could learn to like them."
"Good." Joey grinned. "I think I could learn to like something that's a little off the wall."
Phoebe laughed, feeling it all begin and feeling that it was good. Just like she promised. And for the first time since running away from home, Phoebe felt good and content, in a place where she belonged.
Phoebe continued to listen, not just to Joey but to all of them as they talked to each other and made the connections that would last them a lifetime.
---
(the end)
---
Author's Notes: You may notice some similarity between this and another of my stories, "The One With the DVD's". All I can say is that I enjoy writing from Phoebe's perspective and having surreal things happen to her. )
As always, any criticisms or suggestions you have, I'd love to hear about them.
After washing her hair three times she turned off the shower and dried herself off. She eyed her black sweatshirt and pants, then looked through Ross's clothes with only a hint of guilt. Ross was taller but he had shorts and a t-shirt that fit nicely, and she even helped herself to a pair of his boxers and socks. She then did what she could with her hair, which wasn't much with the tools Ross had. After combing it for what seemed like hours, she found a rubber band and used that as an ersatz scrunchy. Of course he had no makeup, which Phoebe mildly regretted as she would have loved to try some different shadings on this thinner face. Phoebe grinned at her reflection, trying to see if her dimples were any different.
If Phoebe had learned anything from Monica's no-nonsense approach to life, it was to recognize when she was being silly in an effort to avoid doing work. So she forced herself to turn away from the mirror. Phoebe sat at Ross's desk, sharing space with his bed in the bedroom, and picked up the phone.
Ross had told her he would be back at five, but Phoebe knew enough about him not to be surprised when he showed up at three, talking about having a late-afternoon staff meeting cancelled. Phoebe gave him a reassuring smile, letting him know she was accepting what he said at face value.
Ross studied her for a moment, taking in the fact that she was wearing his clothes. Evidently he decided not to comment about it. "So, how'd your search go?"
Phoebe's smile dimmed. "I can't find my husband at all. He really is in Europe but I can't find out where, exactly."
"Oh." Ross sat down on the bed. "Where does that put us with your plan?"
"Well..." Phoebe sighed. "I don't know. I love him but I've only known him for three years. You, Ross, I've known for almost fourteen years. My connection to you and everyone else is still stronger."
"Uh huh." The disbelief grew a little stronger in Ross, to Phoebe's dismay. "Well, I called Chandler and he can come next weekend. Monica will be here, too."
"Oh, yay." Phoebe smiled. "And Rachel?"
Ross sighed. "Are you sure we need Rachel?"
"Oh my, yes!" Phoebe's eyes widened. "She's a part of us, she's a part of you, we need her."
"O-okay." Ross shifted uncomfortably. "My father will talk to her father and let me know where we can reach her."
"Great." Phoebe beamed. "And you gave me a good idea. I called Joey's mother a few minutes ago and found out that Joey lives there but he's at work. I was going to go out and meet him tomorrow."
"Why, why tomorrow?"
"Because I wanted to be here when you got home. I didn't want you to think I'd run away or anything." Phoebe stood up, feeling slightly awkward. "Can I fix you dinner? I'm no Monica but she did teach me some stuff."
Ross seemed to consider this for a moment. "All right."
Phoebe smiled, then found her way to the kitchen. She began another inventory of contents, and scrounged together what she could. He didn't have much but he did have some eggs, which weren't high on Phoebe's list of favorite foods but would do in a pinch. An omelet would be acceptable.
Ross came in while she was still placing various things on the counter. He sat at the small kitchen table and just watched her for a while. Phoebe began humming as she prepared dinner, waiting for whatever Ross was planning to spring on her.
"So," he finally said, "do you know what I have the most problem with?"
"Oh!" Phoebe turned, stared hard at him, tried to read his aura. "The fact that your clothes fit me?"
Ross's brow furrowed. "Uh, no."
"Oh." Phoebe shrugged, turned back to the counter. "You'll have to tell me then."
Ross was silent a moment or two before he spoke again. "Well, it's this. You say that I, I'm getting married to Rachel Green, that I have a child with her already."
"Yup! Emma."
"Emma. But see, I knew her while she was still growing up, I, I watched her all through high school." Ross sounded almost plaintive. "I know the kind of guys she went after, and none of them were anything like me. So, so I kind of have a hard time believing that... that, Rachel could ever... ever find me attractive."
"Oh Ross." Phoebe cracked the eggs in the skillet, thinking hard. "Rachel didn't know what she wanted, not for a long time. She thought she wanted someone who was rich and would give her a comfortable life, and that's why she almost married Barry. But at the very last minute she realized she needed happiness more than she needed security."
Phoebe added the various ingredients she had prepared to the eggs. "She then went out with this Italian guy because he was gorgeous and she thought that sexual attraction was all she needed, but then that wore off and she knew that couldn't be right, either."
"I see," Ross said faintly. "She didn't want attractive men and she didn't want rich men, so naturally she went straight for me."
Phoebe looked up, opened a cupboard, found a plate. She slid the omelet she had made onto it, then set it somewhat forcibly in front of Ross. "You don't understand. She didn't need someone who was fabulously wealthy, just someone who could manage all right. She didn't need someone who prided themselves on their looks, just someone who took care of their body and appearance. And most of all, she needed someone who would care for her, someone who would love her for who she was, not for who they could make her to be. Now, eat up."
Ross looked at her with shock. After a minute, he looked down at the omelet, then back up again. "I, uh, need a fork."
"Oops!" Phoebe turned and opened two drawers before she found the utensils. She grabbed a fork and handed it to Ross. "Here."
He took it with a small smile. "Thank you, Phoebe."
"You're welcome." Phoebe grinned, then turned back and began making her own dinner.
---
The restaurant was almost empty at four in the afternoon. Phoebe glanced around and sat at a table towards the front. Eventually a waiter came over and set a glass and a menu in front of her. "Hi. Our special today is shark soup. Can I get you something to drink?"
Phoebe looked up at the waiter, feeling her chest tighten. "H-hi, Joey."
The waiter blinked in surprise. He was broad-chested and muscular, and his hair carefully sculpted to look casual and neat. Phoebe could only see one difference, and that was his eyes seemed to lack the innate spark of joy that always made Phoebe feel good to be around him.
Joey cocked his head slightly. "Do I know you?"
"Yes. I mean no." Phoebe felt unaccountably flustered. "I mean, you're supposed to know me."
"Oh." Joey looked her up and down, and Phoebe could guess at what he saw. She'd used some of the wad of money to buy a second-hand blouse and skirt, along with some makeup. She now felt comfortable and breezy in her appearance, and she could see the effect it was having on Joey. He grinned. "How you doin'?"
Phoebe squealed, jumped to her feet, and hugged him. "Oh, you do know me! I mean, you don't, but you know that you should know. And you find me pretty!" She squeezed him tightly. "Thank you!"
"Uh, you're welcome." Joey squirmed for a bit, then took her shoulders and separated them. "Look, I get off work at midnight, but if you wanna hook up after that I'm free."
Phoebe laughed, unable to contain her glee. It was him, no matter how much his life had changed, and she loved him a whole bunch. "What I'd like to have you do is come over to Ross's place next weekend. Here, let me give you the address." She took the pen and pad from the apron Joey was wearing and quickly jotted the information down.
Joey took the pad back, frowning. "Who's Ross?"
You were best man at his wedding. Phoebe kept herself from saying that, knowing it wouldn't help. "He's just a guy I'm staying with. I'd like you to meet him and some other people, too."
Joey looked a little alarmed. "Look, I don't want to get in the way if you're already hooked up with this Ross guy."
"I'm not!" Phoebe bit her lip, then said mental apologies to Mike. She stepped back into Joey, put her arms around his neck, drew him in. She kissed him the way he had kissed her once, softly but with passion and promise, the perfect kiss.
Joey responded easily, and for a few seconds they held perfection. Then Phoebe stepped back, feeling somewhat breathless. "Please come. Next Saturday around noon. Okay?"
He reached up, touched his lips while looked at her with wonderment. Then he grinned. "Sure, okay. It's a date."
"Yay!" Phoebe clapped her hands together and bounced once. Then she whirled and left the restaurant, feeling very happy.
Joey was coming, they were all coming, and she knew there wasn't anything they couldn't do together.
---
Phoebe sat in the bedroom at Ross's request. Ross wanted to greet everyone as they arrived and "ease them" into an introduction to Phoebe. The intervening days hadn't done much to alleviate his concern. Ross kept coming home at odd times, still trying to catch her in the middle of doing something nefarious. Phoebe had alternated between cleaning his apartment and trying to contact Mike, have much more success with the former than the latter.
A muted knocking came from the apartment's front door, and Phoebe felt her stomach lurch. Through the ajar bedroom door she could hear Ross open the front door. "Hey Mon."
"Hi." Phoebe felt a tingle run through her at the familiar voice. "Is Chandler here?"
"He's on his way, the plane was late getting in."
"Oh. Well, who else is coming?"
"Besides Rachel?"
"She said she'd be here."
"Oh. Well, there's this other guy coming, never met him before."
"Friend of your new roommate?"
"Uh, yeah."
"So really, what's this all about?"
"You'll see in a bit."
Another knock at the door. Ross opened it. "Hey, man, good to see you."
"Hi. Sorry, I don't have any presents for you. I was going to give you an air sickness bag but I ended up needing it on the cab ride over. I met this guy in the hallway, says some woman invited him here."
"Oh. Hi, you must be Joey."
"Yeah, hi. Ross I take it."
"Yeah. This is my sister Monica and our friend Chandler."
"Hey. Hey. So, uh, where's-"
"She'll be out in a minute, I'd like to get everyone here."
"Oh. Uh, how many more people are coming?"
Another knock at the door.
"Just one, and I'm guessing that's her."
"Let me get it."
"O-okay, Mon."
The sound of the door opening again. "Rachel!"
"Monica, hi."
Phoebe felt her breath leave her. It was her, Rachel, and that meant all of them were here, here now. And Phoebe felt doubt and worry rise up - that she was about to let them all down.
"So, let me introduce everyone. You know my brother Ross, and that's his old college roommate Chandler."
"Yeah, I think I met him a couple of times on Thanksgiving."
"And once at a college party. Nice to see you again."
"Oh? Oh! Oh yeah. Nice to, um, see you again."
"And, uh, this is Joey."
"Joey Tribbiani. How you doin'?"
"I, I'm doing fine, I guess."
"So hey, the old gang's here plus one newcomer. What's the plan, Ross?"
"Well, it's two newcomers. I have to tell you, tell you all about this woman I met."
"Oh? Are you getting married?"
"No-no, nothing like that. I only met her a few days ago, but, see, she, she says..."
"She says she knows us in another universe."
"Mon, I was going to try and build up to that."
"I'm sorry, did you say another universe?"
"Yeah. Okay, it's like this. She says there are two of her. One answered a flyer and became Monica's roommate. That one became her lifelong friend, and through Monica got to know all of us. We, we were supposed to have the best time together, the six of us."
"Uh, Ross. You don't actually believe her, do you?"
"She, she knows things. I mean, personal things I, I'd only tell a good friend."
"So she's trying to scam you out of something. Has she asked for any money?"
"Not a cent. She borrowed some of my clothes until she bought some of her own, with her own money. She's been living here because she doesn't know where in this world she lives."
"At a guess, I'd say Bellevue."
"Yeah. I mean, how, how is she got to know me? I haven't seen Monica for, like, forever."
"Well, see, she says if she'd been Monica's roommate, then Monica would never have been forced out of her apartment. And, and she says you, that when you ran out of your wedding, you would have been able to find her, and, and you would have become Monica's new roommate."
"I didn't want to ask you on the phone, Rachel, but did you run out on your wedding to Barry?"
"I... I did. I did go to where I thought you lived, but all I found was this guy with a hammer who said you'd moved out, so, so I... I went back and... and married Barry because... because I had no better place to.... Who is this woman? How does she know all this?"
"Uh, am I a part of this? How'd I get into this group?"
"Oh. Well, when Monica moved out, Chandler was so disgusted by her eviction that he moved out, too. If he'd stayed, then he would have looked for a new roommate. And that would have been you."
"What, me live with this guy?"
"Hey, this is news to me, too. So okay, I don't know if I buy all of this, but what does Crazy Alternate-Universe Lady want from us?"
"She, uh, wants our help getting back. She thinks that, that through us, she can somehow... connect back to her world, find the Phoebe there, and trade back with her."
"Well, good luck with that. Monica, great seeing you again, but I have to get back home."
"Rachel! Please, stay."
"I'm sorry Monica, but I thought I was seeing you again to catch up on some old times, not to feed some insane person's fantasy. I mean, come on, Ross, how could you possibly buy into all this? I always thought of you as smarter than that."
"I, I don't know, she... she gets to you. I don't know how crazy people act, and she definitely isn't normal, but she's... I mean, she smiles all the time. And real smiles, smiles that make you believe she's genuinely made happy by everything that happens. When she talks about us, she gets so excited. I mean, maybe she's genuinely crazy and somehow got obsessed with all of us and built this fantasy in her head where we all knew each other."
"I'd say that's the most likely explanation."
"Yeah, but... look, I don't know about you guys, but my life hasn't been everything I ever wanted. I'm thirty-five, divorced, in a dead-end job without much prospect for anything else. I, I've got nothing left to lose by believing in her. How about you guys?"
"I know, I know Denny's wasn't what I had in mind what I decided to be a chef."
"Okay, my job in Tulsa is boring as dirt, which is more interesting than you might think but it's still dirt. And I've never had a relationship that's lasted longer than a Mentho."
"Hey, I'm not about to give you guys my resume. I mean yeah, it's tough out there right now and sometimes it's slow between acting jobs, but I'm pretty happy with my life."
"Okay, well, I'm glad to know that. Rachel, what about you? Still married to Barry?"
"Not... not that it's any of your business, Ross, but, well, we got divorced a couple of years ago. And he took my best friend in the divorce and somehow managed to convince everyone it was all my fault, but that doesn't mean... that..."
"Rachel, it's okay, sit down here. Ross, let her be."
"I, I'm sorry Rachel. I really wasn't trying to make you cry. But, but maybe, maybe we could... hear her out?"
The silence stretched. Phoebe took a deep breath and stood up. She discovered that she was trembling and tried to still herself. Her heart ached with the power of the emotions emanating from the other room but she had to be strong, for them as well as herself.
The bedroom door was fully opened. She met Ross's eyes, saw in them the emotional stress he was under, too. "Whenever you're ready."
Phoebe nodded. Ross went back into the living room, leaving Phoebe to enter by herself.
Five pairs of eyes watched her intently. Her gaze drifted around the room. Monica, who looked almost frumpy and hunched in on herself, all the confidence gone from her bearing. Chandler, who looked a lot... softer, flabbier, still the same intelligent eyes and quick humor but a demeanor that said he'd given up on the world. Outwardly Rachel looked the same, her nearly-perfect appearance only spoiled by eyes that had been very recently crying. Joey was dressed up, obviously trying to impress a date. Ross was just sitting in a chair, looking at her with an earnest expression.
But despite all the changes, it was them, it was truly them. Just the sight of the five people who had made such a difference in her life filled Phoebe with joy, and she beamed a greeting at them. "Hi!"
No one smiled in return; no one showed the slightest sign of recognition. Only Joey responded. "So, are we still going out afterwards?"
Phoebe grinned. "You'll have to ask again, afterwards."
"So," Chandler said with a frown, "is what Ross told us true?"
"Yeah. I'm Phoebe. I moved in with Monica, then I moved in with my grandma and Rachel moved in with you Monica, then Joey moved in with Chandler, then Joey moved into his own apartment when he got Days of Our Lives, then Joey lost that job and moved back in, then Ross moved in with Chandler and Joey, then Ugly Naked Guy moved out and Ross moved in there, then Chandler moved in with Monica and Rachel moved in with me, then my apartment caught on fire and only one person could live there so Rachel moved in with Joey, then Chandler and Monica moved to Westchester and Rachel moved in with Ross and Joey moved to Los Angeles and I moved in with Mike and here we all are!" Phoebe beamed at them.
Rachel shook her head and leaned forward. "So, exactly how many of these guys have I slept with?"
"Oh, you never slept with Joey, you were just roommates. I mean yeah, you had one date but it never really went anywhere."
"Uh, back up just a smidge." Chandler looked puzzled and alarmed. "Why exactly did I move in with Monica? Did we get married or something?"
Phoebe nodded. "Yes, but only after you started living together. And you didn't move to Westchester until after the twins arrived."
"The, the twins?" Monica's eyes were very wide.
"Yeah. Jack and Erica."
Monica looked over at Chandler, then blushed and looked back down.
"Look, I don't know who slept with who-" Joey broke off. "Did I sleep with anyone?"
"Oh, lots of people, but no one in this room."
"Oh. Well, look, I just want to know... who got me the job at Days of Our Lives?"
"No one here, you got it yourself." Phoebe frowned. "Actually, I don't know what the difference is, why you didn't get it this time. Maybe it was because Chandler lent you a lot of money over the years, so you could get head shots or other things, or just letting you pay the rent late or buying you food so you could keep looking for an acting job and didn't have to find other work. Well, except the time you worked at Central Perk. Oh, it's too complicated, all I know is that Chandler was your 'best bud' and helped you through some tough times and that without him you may not have ever found the chance."
Now it was Joey who frowned and looked at Chandler. Rather than blushing Joey shook his head and focused back on Phoebe. "So how do I know you?"
Phoebe smiled widely at him. "We can talk for hours and hours about all sorts of stuff. I tried to teach you the guitar and French and you gave me the best birthday present ever. And you're the only person in the world that can tell me and my sister apart."
Joey's frown deepened. "So I still don't know what I'm doing here."
"You're here because... I need your help." Phoebe looked around at everyone. "This body isn't mine, my body is in another world, and it's pregnant, and I really need to get back to it. Plus this body's owner needs to find her way back. So I need you guys with me as I go look for her, because you guys always gave me strength and I need to feel that when I try this or it won't work."
"So, okay, answer this for me." Monica looked up, her eyes glittering with the intensity Phoebe knew well. "What good will come of sending you back? Everything's gone horribly wrong already in this world obviously, and bringing back your other self won't change that. It seems to me that you just want to use us to get back to your oh-so-perfect world and leave us all behind."
Phoebe felt the words like a blow. She moved over and knelt in front of Monica, grabbing her hands. "No, no. What I want is for you to discover how strong you all are together. If you can... let yourselves connect, you'll find the strength and love I knew in my world. And even when I'm gone that won't go away."
Phoebe looked around at all of them. "I didn't tell Ross this, but I had another, even more selfish reason for gathering you. I really wanted to see all of you together again, because in my world that might never happen. We've grown apart, moved on to different aspects of our lives, and even though we love each other dearly we may never come together again, not the way we used to. Here, you guys have a wonderful opportunity to start brand new what I'm only seeing the end of. I wanted to be here and experience the beginning of it, and if I can bring the other Phoebe back I'll be so jealous of her because she'll get to see it all blossom anew."
No one seemed to want to look at each other. Monica gently withdrew her hands. "That's a nice speech, but I still think you're crazy. This kind of stuff, it just doesn't happen."
"So?" Ross stood up, bent down, and put his arm around Phoebe. "Let's say she is crazy, that this whole thing about alternate universes is whacko. Does that mean her end goal is insane? That wanting us - all of us - to become friends and be happy is not worth accomplishing?"
"Oh sure," Rachel said with a hint of disdain. "In her fantasy you and I live together. For all I know this is just some sick and twisted thing you and her and this guy and maybe even Monica put together to try and get us together. I won't have any part of it, Ross."
"Hey! I'm not part of anything sick and twisted." Joey squirmed in his chair. "Look, I don't understand anything of what's going on, and no matter what the crazy blonde says I don't know any of you. But I'm an actor, and I've gotten pretty good at knowing when people are pretending. She, she's either the best actress I've seen or she isn't pretending. She really thinks we... the six of us can be happy. I don't know if I believe her, but I don't see nothing wrong with letting her believe it. Or Ross."
Monica glanced quickly out of the corner of her eye. "Or me. I believe her."
"You believe she's some alternate world body snatcher?" Chandler asked.
"No. But I believe she wants nothing but good things."
"Oh." Chandler studied Monica, who kept her face in profile to his, not meeting his gaze but not turning away either. Then he looked at Phoebe, and she saw something she seldom saw in Chandler: quiet anger. "You're good, you're very good, you know how to manipulate us and our feelings. I don't like it, I don't like it at all."
Phoebe sighed. "You and I played a game once, where-"
"Stop it! You're going to tell me some story that's going to try and make me all weepy, and I won't let you do it."
"Why not?" Phoebe cocked her head. "You like being alone in Tulsa that much?"
Chandler swore softly. "You're still doing it, manipulating me with words."
"I, I'm just trying to... to get you past this silly disbelief. I think the problem is that you want to believe so bad that it scares you, so you have to get all Mr. I-Don't-Like-You. But, but Chandler, I do like you. I even love you as a dear friend. Let me love you, let all of us love you. If you do, I think you'll like it very much."
"Bah." Chandler shot to his feet. "I'm going back to Tulsa. Call me in another two years, Ross, we'll have to torture each other again."
He turned to leave but was stopped by a hand reaching up and grabbing his arm. Surprised, he looked down at Rachel. She was looking straight ahead at nothing at all, and her voice was slightly tremulous as she said, "Please don't go."
"Oh my God." Chandler shook his head. "She got to you, too."
"I... a long time ago, I went looking for Monica. I couldn't find her, and I gave up and went back to a life I knew was going to be miserable. I can't tell you how much I've regretted that." She looked up at Chandler, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "I don't want to manipulate you. I just want to let you know that if you let this go by you may regret it, too."
Chandler swallowed. "My life is not miserable."
"Th-then you're very lucky." Rachel began sobbing, letting Chandler's arm go, reaching into her purse.
Phoebe quickly looked over to Ross but he was way ahead of her. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Here."
"Thanks." Rachel took it, avoiding Ross's eyes, and began dabbing her face while attempting to control her sobs and hiccupping in the process.
Chandler met Phoebe's gaze, and the anger was no less evident. "See what you've done?"
Truth be told, Phoebe was feeling somewhat wretched, Rachel's pain deeper and more powerful than she'd guessed. But Phoebe felt no less certain of her cause and returned his gaze calmly. "Remember that line from those books you made me read? I will not say 'do not weep' for not all tears are an evil."
Chandler thinned his lips. He looked at Rachel, then at Monica, then back at Phoebe. With an annoyed grunt he sat back down on the couch, arms folded across his chest.
Phoebe sagged slightly with relief, then stood up again. The air was thick with emotion and it wasn't the joy and happiness she'd hoped for. But they were here, they were staying, and that was all she needed. "Okay. I'm going to begin now. Ross, light the incense please."
Ross nodded.
Joey looked confused. "What do you expect us to do?"
Phoebe smiled at him. "Stay here. Think good thoughts."
"That's it?"
"That's it." Phoebe went back into the bedroom, took a pillow from the bed, and reentered the living room. The smoke was already beginning to drift up and Phoebe took a good deep breath. She exhaled happily, then arranged herself on the floor next to the coffee table, her head on the pillow.
Phoebe took another breath and closed her eyes. "Find your happy place. It's there, inside. And it's bigger than you remember. Because you've made room for everyone else. Our happy place always has room for our friends."
"Does it have to? Because I just had my happy place remodeled."
Phoebe opened her eyes a slit to look at Chandler. "There are no questions in the happy place."
Chandler looked abashed. "Sorry."
Phoebe gave him a quick smile, then closed her eyes again. "My happy place is... is Central Perk. It's busy, there's Gunther in the background preparing our coffee, and Ross is sitting in one chair, Joey in the other, and Monica is sitting on the couch with Chandler on one side and Rachel on the other, and I'm standing... standing at the microphone, singing... can... can you hear me... I'm singing Smelly Cat, can, can you..."
"...hear me?"
Phoebe blinked. She was in Central Perk. It appeared to be after hours, for the place was empty and it was dark outside and in. She had her guitar strapped around her shoulders but there was no one to sing to.
There was a whisper of movement, and Phoebe peered as best as she could. A voice, a faint voice, called out from the darkness. "Can you hear me? This is dumb, this is really dumb, but are you out there? Your stupid husband wants his stupid wife back."
Phoebe bristled. "He's not stupid."
Something shifted in the dim area next to the couch, took on a form. A familiar form, very similar to Phoebe's. This one had a duffel bag slung over her shoulder. She looked young, no more than twenty. Phoebe wondered if she looked the same age in that woman's eyes.
The other woman peered back, then grimaced and looked down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called him stupid."
Phoebe wanted to rush over but found herself sort of held in place. Instead she asked anxiously, "Is he all right?"
"Yeah. Yeah, he's fine, they're all fine, but they want you back."
"Oh? Do they know about the other world?"
"No, they just think I've gone crazy and are hoping that if I relive the past again I'll get back to the right present."
"Oh. Well, that's sort of the same thing."
"I guess. So how do we fix this?"
Phoebe once again attempted to move away from the microphone, but she appeared to be stuck in place. "I don't know," she admitted.
"Oh. Well, I don't know either. All I know is that Scarf and Romy jumped me before I could ditch the purse, and I knew I'd have to fight them, and I didn't want to, I didn't want to a lot, and I started thinking that maybe the normal life wouldn't have been so bad after all, even with the risk of ovens."
Phoebe nodded. "You started wishing that you'd taken the number from the flyer and called Monica and tried a normal life."
"Well... yeah." The other woman walked around the room. "This is Chester's place, isn't it? I spent the summer here once a few years back."
"Chester?" Phoebe looked around. "You don't see Central Perk?"
"What's Central Perk?"
"We... we're in the happy place," Phoebe decided. "It looks different to each of us, but it's the same place."
"Oh. My happy place is Chester's apartment? I guess. He mostly wasn't around so I was by myself and no one bothered me, and I needed that."
"I, I don't know who Chester is, so I don't see his apartment. We can probably only see things we remember in the happy place."
"Oh? Hmm. I wish I could see what you see."
"Let's... let's go someplace we both know. How about this?"
The coffee house faded, and an apartment formed around them. The other woman looked around with disinterest. "Oh. Grandma's place."
Phoebe smiled. "You see it too? Yay!"
The other woman looked at her. "Did you live here? With her?"
"Yes, for a couple of years. Did you?"
"Once in a while, when I needed to lay low. Until she died. I supposed she loved you."
"And you too."
"You know who else loved us?" The apartment faded, was replaced by a hallway in a house.
Phoebe felt a sudden cold terror. "No."
Ahead, in the hallway, a fourteen-year-old version of her sister came out into the hallway, a blank expression on her face. Ursula beckoned to them. "Come in here. I want to show you something."
"NO!" Phoebe tried to close her eyes but couldn't, and inexorably found herself moving towards the kitchen. "This is not a happy place! This is not a happy place!"
The hallway faded, and Phoebe found herself in the back seat of a car, surrounded by cans. Somehow the other woman was also in a back seat but facing her. She seemed desperately apologetic. "I'm sorry. I was trying to hurt you. I shouldn't have."
Phoebe felt the panic subside slightly as she gulped in air. "Why? Why did you want to hurt me?"
"Because. Because your life is so perfect and normal. It should have been me. Instead, it became bad."
The scene shifted, and now Phoebe found herself in Monica's apartment. "So, your share would be four-fifty plus half the food. This would be your room." Monica opened the door, and Phoebe moved inside, seeing an emptiness she would soon fill. "What do you think?"
Phoebe turned around, and saw her other self drop into a crouch, preparing for a fight. "Do you see him? He's going to try and mug me tonight."
Phoebe looked around the empty room. "No. All I see is Monica."
"Of course not. You don't have memories like this." The other woman ducked an attack, lashed out with her leg.
Desperately Phoebe thought back. They were at a beach with their mother and sister. Phoebe looked at her other self, saw a lanky twelve-year-old. The girl slowly relaxed. "Why this? Our stepfather was supposed to meet us here, but instead he robbed a store on the way and got arrested."
"But that hasn't happened yet, and this was fun, the anticipation was fun." Phoebe watched as Ursula ran towards the ocean and dived in, displaying a grace in water Phoebe would never be able to duplicate.
"But we were disappointed. Everything, everything ended in disappointment." The scene shifted to the outside of the Gremlin, which Cindy had somehow managed to get working long enough to hook a hose from the tailpipe to the front window. "Everything ended badly. I kept hoping, trying to find something good, but it never came. Even the job, the aromatherapy, I couldn't keep that up for long."
"You can. You did. I did. With a little help." Phoebe concentrated, took a guess, and Ross and Rachel's apartment appeared. "Do you see this?"
"Yes. This is where they took me. Where those two lived."
"Good." Phoebe looked around, saw Ross and Rachel sitting together, holding hands, Chandler and Monica standing over them, laughing. Joey sitting in a chair, grinning widely. "Do you see them, too?'
"Uh huh. Yeah, they all got together and managed to talk me into looking for you."
"All of them? You probably don't see Joey."
"Which one is he? The gorgeous one?"
Phoebe was surprised both by the fact that her other self had a memory of Joey and that she shared Phoebe's opinion of his looks. "Yes. How do you know him?"
"Oh, uh, I guess he flew in when they were looking for me."
"Who... who was looking for you?"
"All these people. Plus that other guy, your husband."
"But why were they looking for you?"
"Because I ran away."
Phoebe looked at her other self, and suddenly the scene shifted back to the house, her bedroom, the drawers flung open and clothes scattered everywhere. Phoebe mournfully began stuffing some of the clothes into the backpack that had appeared over her shoulder. "Why did you run away?"
The other woman, who now looked fourteen, was also grabbing clothes from the floor and putting them into her backpack. "I mean, what would you do if you suddenly woke up in a strange man's apartment and you were several months pregnant?"
"Oh." Phoebe shook her head sadly. "You didn't need to, though. He's a nice man."
"Oh my God, he's too much. He represents too many of the things I hate. Lazy affluence, having everything and not sharing it with anyone. I don't understand how you could possibly live with him."
Phoebe considered that. "I, I guess I've changed more than I thought. He's not lazy; he was a lawyer until it got too much for him. He's just trying to find a new direction for his life, and I'm helping him with that."
"And in the meantime eating caviar and wearing designer clothes. I bet you watch PBS, too!"
"I do not!" Except when Joey had been on. And then Phoebe found herself crouched inside a cardboard box on its side in an alley, looking down at a Sesame Street key ring.
"You forgot all this, didn't you?" The other woman held up her key ring. "Forgot all about the cold and misery. Now you just live your happy rich life and ride your flying pony whenever you want."
"I don't have a flying pony," Phoebe muttered. She dropped the key ring on the ground. "And I had a happy and rich life even when I was still poor."
The other woman almost sneered. "Because of those other people."
"Yes. Because of them." Phoebe stood and they were back in Ross's apartment. "Joey. Monica. Rachel. Chandler. Ross." They appeared as she named them. "I didn't forget how bad everything was, but I didn't let it stop me from loving these people. And they, in turn, made my life ever-so-much better. I had a family. For the first time, I had a real, loving family. And if it changed me a little, that's all right. It was for the better."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am. And so are you." Phoebe held her other self's gaze. "Otherwise you wouldn't have so desperately wanted to change your life."
The other woman dropped her eyes after a moment and didn't respond.
Phoebe looked back at the memory of her friends. "I wish I could show you more, how happy we were, the wonderful times we had. But, you know, you can have it, too."
"I can't." The other woman was near to tears. "I can't change it now, it's too late."
"It is not too late!" Phoebe stamped her foot. "They're back there right now, waiting for you. Ross, he took me in, gave me a place to stay because I didn't know where you lived, and he helped me bring everyone together, and they came and they helped! They're just so open and willing and ready to have you be their friend."
"How can they be? They don't know me. I don't know them."
"You'll know them if you try. And you can help them. Ross and Rachel, they're each other's lobster."
"Lobster?"
"You know." Phoebe made a motion with her hands.
"Oh, the claws. And Chandler and Monica too, I suppose."
"Yes, see!" Phoebe beamed. "They'll be able to love each other a whole bunch if you help them find the way."
"Do..." The other woman looked at the memory of Joey, looked away. "Do I have a lobster?"
Phoebe grinned. "That you have to discover on your own."
"Oh. So I have to help them all hook up and maybe I'll get hooked up, too."
"You're supposed to help them heal each other, and in return you'll be healed as well."
"So easy for you to say," the other woman said bitterly. "Your life is perfect perfect."
"Not... not as perfect as all that." Phoebe fought off the memories that threatened to surface. "You're right, I, I've become too isolated from the problems that made our childhood so awful at times. When I go back, I'm going to change that. I won't live as a queen in a castle any more, because you're right, I used to despise people like that. I, I need to make certain I don't turn into everything I used to hate."
The aromatherapy clinic materialized around them. The other woman sighed wistfully. "It, it almost began here. I had a job, I actually got a paycheck. I, I don't know how it... slipped away. I just, I just didn't want to..."
"End up like Mom. I know." Phoebe shuddered. "What I eventually found out is that there can be people who can live normal lives with being mean, without deserting you when you need them the most. If, if you cultivate their friendship, if you let yourself love them, they'll love you too and they'll never, ever leave you."
The other woman hugged herself. "You promise?"
"I promise." Phoebe smiled reassuringly. "Trust me, I know."
The other woman began crying. "I, I don't want to go back there. I'm so tired and lonely and sad."
Panic began rising in Phoebe. "Are, are you saying you want to... to stay in my world?"
"Oh God, no!" She shook her head violently. "I don't want to have his baby, I don't want to live his rich wasteful life."
Phoebe felt a peculiar mix of relief and anger. She let the emotions drain away and said calmly, "What do you want, then?"
"I want to stay here!" She looked hopefully up at Phoebe. "Can I just stay here with you?"
Phoebe sighed. "I lived like that, once. I lived in a world where my memories were more real than reality itself. I don't know about you, but that didn't make me any happier or less lonely. It was only when I started... connecting to real people that I found a way to be happy."
"No, no it's too much!" The other woman whirled and began attacking. Phoebe's eyes widened, for she saw it too. The man was very large, very muscular, and he wanted Phoebe to work for him, to perform services every night for a cut of the money earned. Phoebe found her wrists gripped tightly by the man as she struggled.
Somehow the other woman's wrists were held, too. "I'm too tired to start over, I just want it all to go away!"
Phoebe kneed the man in his groin. His face suffused with anger and he spit directly into her face. Phoebe turned her head in disgust and looked at her other self. "This is fun for you? This is the moment you want to stay in?"
"N-no." The man vanished and suddenly they were under an overpass, a nice dark place sheltered from the wind, the noise of the tollway curiously relaxing. The other woman settled herself in the cement corner, pulling a blanket over her. "But I could stay here. This was safe."
Phoebe looked around. "Until we got hungry. Until we had to had to try and find - or steal - some food."
The other woman shrunk in even further. "I could always find memory of food."
"You know that wouldn't be enough."
"I... I know." The other woman clutched her blanket tightly. "I know."
Phoebe leaned in, spoke softly. "You have a wonderful life waiting for you. They're good people, they only need someone like you to bring out all their best qualities. If you open yourself up, play with them, have fun with them. That's all it takes to begin with. Everything else will follow."
The other woman moaned plaintively. "I haven't had fun in ages."
"You will again. But you know what you have to do next."
"I... I know."
The overpass vanished. A room formed around them, with washing machines, dryers, carts, and a bulletin board covered with brightly-colored pieces of paper. Phoebe closed the lid on her laundry and slid the tray full of quarters inwards. The washing machine thrummed to life.
The other woman started up her washing machine, then turned to face Phoebe. Her face was a little frightened but calm. "I, I have to know something."
"Yes?"
"Why did you come here? If you're so happy, why'd you want to change anything?"
"I didn't. I just wanted to think of a name for the baby. I wanted it to be something special, so I was going back over my life, trying to remember who had been especially helpful." She smiled. "I'd name it after you, except it's me too, and no one would know the difference."
"Oh." The other woman smiled. "Why not Melissa?"
"Melissa?" Phoebe frowned in puzzlement. "Who's Melissa?"
The other woman laughed. "We are, silly. It's our middle name."
Phoebe froze. "You... you know our middle name?"
The other woman looked equally surprised. "You don't?"
"No! Ursula had my birth certificate but she sold it to someone and she didn't remember what it was."
"Oh! I swiped all that stuff from Ursula a long time ago, I knew she couldn't take care of any of it."
"But how'd you know she had them?"
"Oh. Well, I might have been looking for some jewelry or something I could borrow for a while."
Phoebe's face was frozen in shock. "Melissa," she breathed.
The other woman nodded happily.
A smile slowly grew on Phoebe's face. "It's beautiful. It's perfect. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
They both turned towards the bulletin board. Phoebe took two steps forward and there it was. Roommate wanted. Female, non-smoker. She reached up one hand, hesitated, and pulled it back. "I'm going to miss you."
"Me too. G-good luck with little Melissa."
"Thanks." Then, with a calm strength and infinite sadness, Phoebe reached out and separated one of the strips of paper.
The other woman turned away, went back to her washing machine. "Goodbye Phoebe."
Phoebe walked over to the pay phone, lifted up the receiver, pushed some quarters into the slot. "Goodbye Phoebe."
A young woman's voice said pleasantly, "Hello?"
Phoebe's throat locked up, unable to find a way to respond. "I, I, I'm Phoebe, I saw your flyer, I was wondering... uh, are you still looking for a roommate?"
"A roommate? Phoebe, can you hear me?"
"I, I'm single, I work in aromatherapy, I can give you the name of my boss as a reference."
"Phoebe, wake up."
Her eyes flew open. Monica's face filled her vision, her expression one of concern. "Are you all right? Did, did it work?"
Phoebe's eyes widened. She reached down for her stomach, felt a reassuring lump. She grinned. "I'm back!" She encased Monica in a hug.
Monica said something like "Whouf" and hugged her back.
"Are you okay?" Rachel bent over the couch, looked down into Phoebe's face. "Do you know who I am?"
"You're Rachel!" Phoebe allowed Monica to escape for now and jumped to her feet. She grasped Rachel's shoulders and gave her a little shake. "I'm going to be your maid of honor but we have so much to do still!"
A kind of relieved sigh floated through the room. "Pheebs, I'm glad you're all right, you had us worried."
Phoebe looked over at Joey and beamed. "You came for me, you flew all the way back for me!" She flung herself into his arms. "Thank you!"
Joey chuckled. "Sure Pheebs. But... what was this about you not knowing who we were?"
Phoebe took a step back, looked at everyone. "That was... someone else. In my body. She freaked out a little, but she's all right now."
They exchanged glances, and Phoebe knew they didn't necessarily believe her. But that was all right.
Phoebe whirled around once. "Where's Mike?"
Chandler gestured vaguely in the direction of the street. "You, uh, whoever was in your body, they didn't react at all well to Mike. He was the one that suggested you- er, the person in your body use aromatherapy to travel back and try to re-remember who you were. You, um, she agreed, but only if he wasn't here because he scared her too much."
"Oh." Phoebe bit her lip. "Poor Mike."
"He didn't go far," Ross said. "He's outside waiting for us to call him. I can-"
Phoebe ran towards the window. Quickly she unlocked it and lifted it open. She leaned way out, looking left and right, and saw him. "Mike!" She screamed and waved. "Mike!"
He looked up, the anxiousness in his face giving way to joy. "Phoebe! Are you all right?"
"Not until you get up here! Hurry! I have a great name for the baby!" She gave him her biggest smile.
Mike laughed and ran towards the building entrance.
Phoebe turned around, the smile not diminishing in the least. The other five people in the room were also smiling, happy and relieved. Phoebe understood more than ever how blessed she was.
Then the front door burst open and Phoebe rushed over to embrace her husband, feeling his love add to everyone else's, and she channeled it all inside of her so the Melissa would feel it, too.
---
Phoebe's eyes opened. She sat up and looked around. Five people looked at her with various expressions. Phoebe put her hand on her stomach and felt a tremendous wave of relief when it was flat.
"So, what happened? Did you visit the land of Narnia and come back a changed woman?"
Phoebe looked at the man who had spoken. He seemed a little angry and, strangely, a little hopeful. "I, I don't know what Narnia is."
"What he's asking," another of the men said, "is whether you were able to go back to your universe."
Phoebe looked at him, then around at the other faces. They had names, she knew them. Her eyes darted about the room, automatically tagging small items of value that could fit inside a pocket.
She stopped herself, looked once more at the faces. They're good people, a voice inside her said, they only need someone like you to bring out all their best qualities.
Phoebe slowly got to her feet, wistfully eyed the front door, then faced the man that had spoken. "Yes, it worked. I'm back."
"Oh?" The man - Ross - frowned. "That, that seemed easy."
"Well, it wasn't. It hurt a little bit. But I got to meet, um, myself, and she said you helped me. Thank you."
"Er, you're welcome."
"So that's it?" The angry man - Chandler - surged to his feet. "You lie down, burn some incense, and it's all magically okay? What are you trying to do to us, woman?"
Phoebe studied him for a moment, saw the desperate confusion in him. She decided to try a smile and hold out her hand. "Hi, I'm Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay."
Chandler stared at her and her hand. Phoebe adopted a coquettish demeanor, surprised at both how easily it came to her and how much she enjoyed it. Open yourself up to them, play with them, and everything else will follow.
After a moment he sighed and shook her hand. "Chandler Bing."
Phoebe grinned, then repeated the introduction all around. She ended with the gorgeous guy, who held on to her hand after shaking it. "So, are we still going out?"
Phoebe suddenly felt a little short of breath. "But we've only just met," she said coyly.
"No we haven't. Don't you remember the kiss?"
Oh ho. Her other self had kissed this man. For some reason that made Phoebe feel even better. "No. You'll have to remind me."
She leaned in. He leaned back and looked around at the other people in the room. Phoebe felt her smile widening. Despite his apparently one-track mind, he was still shy about certain things. Phoebe would have a great deal of fun toying with him. And she was fairly certain he'd enjoy it, too.
"Well, uh, if you're really back..." Ross seemed very uncomfortable. "Do, do you remember where you live?"
Phoebe turned, the smile dimming a bit. She had a room in an abandoned building she had claimed as her own, and she occasionally rented a room at a run-down hotel for a day or two when she had the money and wanted to relax a little. Nothing she'd call a home. "I know where my stuff is. I don't need to stay here anymore."
"Where your stuff is?" Rachel cocked her head. "That isn't the same thing as saying you know where you live."
Phoebe met her eyes, resisted the urge to gloss over the truth. "I don't really have a permanent address."
"Then-" Rachel paused, then the words came out in rush. "Stay with me. I have lots of room, we can get you your own bed and everything."
"Really?" Phoebe's eyes widened in shock. "You'd do that for me?"
Rachel hesitated only a second. "Yes. The place was too big anyway after Barry moved out."
Phoebe suddenly felt like crying. She held it back, simply muttered, "Thank you."
"Sure." Rachel smiled back.
Phoebe looked over at Ross. "You'll come visit, won't you?"
"Uh..." Ross looked surprised. "Sure, if you want me to."
"Good. Thank you for taking care of my body while I was away."
"Uh, you're welcome." Ross seemed flustered. "So, uh, anyone wanna order some pizzas?"
"I'm hungry," Joey said. "Who likes pepperoni?"
"I haven't had a good New York pizza in a long time," Chandler said wistfully.
"Good. Let me order." Ross picked up his phone and sat down on the couch, perhaps coincidentally right next to Rachel. She eyed him speculatively but not, Phoebe noticed, with any distaste.
"Well, that's going to take a while." Monica stood up. "Let me see if I can whip up some appetizers."
"Good idea." Chandler also got to his feet and followed Monica into the kitchen. "You made the best mac and cheese I ever had."
Phoebe smiled. Lobsters, indeed. She looked at Ross and Rachel, who were deep into a discussion about toppings. Then her eyes met Joey's, and she felt a warm pleasant glow. She walked over and curled into a sitting position on the floor in front of his chair. "So, tell me about yourself."
"Well, I got seven sisters-"
"Seven! Oh my, I just had the one. Were you all born at once?"
"Er, no, we happened one at a time over a dozen years."
"Oh." Phoebe grinned. "That seems more normal."
"Well, yeah."
"I'm not used to normal things," Phoebe said. She reached out, began fiddling with his shoelaces. "But I think I could learn to like them."
"Good." Joey grinned. "I think I could learn to like something that's a little off the wall."
Phoebe laughed, feeling it all begin and feeling that it was good. Just like she promised. And for the first time since running away from home, Phoebe felt good and content, in a place where she belonged.
Phoebe continued to listen, not just to Joey but to all of them as they talked to each other and made the connections that would last them a lifetime.
---
(the end)
---
Author's Notes: You may notice some similarity between this and another of my stories, "The One With the DVD's". All I can say is that I enjoy writing from Phoebe's perspective and having surreal things happen to her. )
As always, any criticisms or suggestions you have, I'd love to hear about them.
