Balancing Act
by Shadowesque13
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Drama
Summary: "I was so afraid, of going under, but now the weight of the world, feels like nothing, no, nothing..." –"On the Way Down" Ryan Cabrera
Dis: Seto and all YGO stuff belongs to the brilliant Kazuki Takahashi. "On the Way Down" is Ryan Cabrera's. Buy his debut album now; the pants command it!
A/N: Seto's REALLY OOC in this, but that's the point. This fic is about a little over a month in the making, inspired by the video (then the song) for "On the Way Down". Note the references to it. I had a hard time with the ending, I'll tell ya...Still not fully satisfied with it... Anywho, I love this a lot. Hope you do, too. (another small note: sorry if it's hard to read the paragraphs. They won't let me indent my paragraphs...is mad I didn't wanna upload it looking like this, but it looks like I've got not much choice. shrugs Anywho, on with the fic)
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I stumble and trip, wavering a little. As I right myself, I laugh. Isn't this fun? Almost falling but not. It kind of makes the building seem smaller. I balance, one foot in front of the other. A slight gust sends my arms flailing as I try to keep my feet on the ledge. A chuckle escapes my lips again. I'm back up straight.
It reminds me of my childhood. Don't you remember, Mokuba? How we used to walk on logs, sidewalk edges, anything as if they were balance beams. We giggled and laughed when balance was lost. It was so fun and amusing. Now I'm having fun again. What's wrong with that?
It was never dangerous back then. We'd fall onto soft grass or jump at the last second and land on our feet. Then we'd try again, smiles on our faces.
How come it's not like that anymore?
I do a fancy little jump on the ledge to show off, even though nobody's around. By now, one of us would've made the remark that I could be a ballerina or a gymnast. That was always funny.
Why don't you come and laugh with me? See the pure and true smile on my face. Skip, step, hop, jump. Whoops, my foot slipped! Ah, but I'm not off yet. Don't count me out!
Adrenaline is a friend of mine. I'm thrilled by every misstep and fault. I wish the people down below could see me. I guess they will anyway. As much as I'd like to boast, even I can't keep this up forever. But let's see how long I last, shall we?
A flock of birds fly by. They're so high up in the sky and going higher. It's rather majestic. I wish I had wings. Out of all my fanciful, impossible wishes, I want wings the most. I so want to know what it's like to spread feathered appendages and soar high above everything. I'd jump into the air, fly so far from this towering building, put it below me, leave it behind. Weightless, suspended. My concentration has slipped because of the birds. I very nearly fall again.
Hop, step, skip, jump. Here I go again! A quick move, a flashy pose, man, I'm good. The sounds from far below waft up all the way here. A car door slamming, talking, traffic, all sorts of things. But they're soft, muted, quietly going through everyday sounds. What I wouldn't give to have an everyday life again. Like so long ago... I miss those days.
And so we come back to why I'm doing this. I soon realize I've not moved a step for a minute. Back to one foot placed delicately in front of the other onto the narrow cement. I take a deep breath of the refreshing cool air. This is the life. No worries, just my random thoughts; it's quite relaxing. Although, relaxing isn't exactly what you want while doing this balancing act hundreds of feet in the air. This is quite the balancing act, isn't it? I lean towards the rooftop, life. I lean towards nothingness, death. Life, death, life, death, oh, how exciting! It's making me feel so giddy and young again.
I go on like this, walking from one corner of the building to the other, for many, many minutes. I'' starting to get a little tired. I guess I don't have as much energy as I used to. I just need to keep going. Just concentrate a little harder. But even that won't save me from the inevitable trip.
A few beads of sweat drip from my brow. Who knew this could be so tough after...how long have I been up here? I can't say for sure. The sun's position hasn't changed drastically. I don't suppose it matters much. Time and space are meaningless now. I guess time really does fly when you're having fun. That brings a smirk to my face.
I've stumbled. My tired foot has betrayed me, faulted, dangling in the air. Is this finally the end? I doubt I can recover from this. My arms are swinging everywhere due to my sudden loss of balance. I'm leaning to the side. I can't stop. Oh well, I suppose I now know how long I can play this game.
I jump.
And then the long wait for the ground. As I look up, I see the building rise in front of me. It makes me feel like I'm not even moving. I smile softly. No green grass this time, no landing on my feet. Shame my fun had to end. But I was ready. I still am. Waiting for my final fall to finish.
I spread my arms out and feel the air rush by. Is this how those birds feel? The sky is wondrous. I want to reach up and grab those clouds. But I'm farther and farther away. No matter. So much for my balancing act.
Wasn't this fun...?
