Author's Note: Well since you guys liked the first episode of "The Decline of Anime", I've decided to do a second installment. If you guys want the disclaimers go to episode 1 and read them because I'm not in the mood to post them here. Anyway, I read one review saying that Hige would go for comedy and Toboe would go into Romance because Toboe is sensitive. I love Toboe because he's so cute and cause I do look like him (I have the same hair cut and color and eye color as him so I could easily pass off as Toboe). I do agree with that review, but knowing Hige (I love him too, but not as much as Tsume ::drool::) I know he would be into hentai because he is a funny pervi wanker. I hope you enjoy the second episodes and as always, don't forget to review or flame. I accept both. I also do not own Trojan Condoms, don't ask just read. I don't own any video game characters either.
Saturday, September 25, 2004, 9:33 AM, Kiba's House
Kiba and Tsume were sitting on the couch watching anime, as they usually did every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning.
Kiba: Watching all of this anime can't be good for our health.
Tsume: I agree, we should go outside.
Tsume and Kiba were sitting outside of Kiba's home watching anime on the couch.
(Insert intro music from Kung Pow: Enter The Fist)
The Decline of Anime Episode 2: The Otaku Convention: Part 1.
Starring: The cast of Wolf's Rain.
Kiba's House
The boys were sitting at the living room in the house when Kiba brought in the mail and opened the letter.
Kiba: Hey guys, we have a letter from the Animation Solicitors Society. (A/N: I was bored and I know the title of the organization doesn't make sense either, but I just wanted a funny acranim... I know I spelled that word wrong)
Hige: Well, what are you waiting for, read the damn letter!
Kiba: Geez, all right, keep your pants on.
Hige: What's that supposed to mean?
New Year's Eve Party
Hige: As I asked you before a thousand times, can I please have your number Blu?
Blu: Only if you had your pants on, Hige.
Hige looked down and realized he didn't have any pants on.
Hige: Well at least I skipped a few steps, huh Blu?
Blu: I think I need to go use the bathroom.
Hige: Oh, you're still pissed about the whole New Year's thing right?
Toboe: I don't think Kiba was pissed, I think he was embarassed, but Tsume and I were laughing our asses off.
Tsume: And no to mention Blu felt very harassed by the presence of your "monster."
Kiba: Uh, guys, I'm gonna read the letter now, if that's ok.
Hige: Go ahead.
Honky Bustacap: Dear Mr. Kiba,
As you have sucessfully reviewed our anime with such finesse and such brilliant and insightful criticism, we would like to offer you this year's Critic of the Year award. Your trophy will be delivered in 7 to 10 business days and enclosed are four tickets this year's Exaggerated Anime Convention (Otacon). I hope to see you and your friends there soon.
Sincerely, Honky Bustacap
Animation Solictors Society
Hige: Wow! We get to go to Otacon, sweet!
Toboe: I can't believe it! Hey we should get going!
Kiba: Yeah we should get going.
Tsume: We'll get going, right after this.
Announcer: And welcome to this week's exciting edition of Redneck Roadkill! Here's a redneck running over a poor defenseless moose.
Tsume: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That is classic! Okay let's get going.
Miami International Airport, 1:45 PM
The boys were boarded on the plane and they were all sitting comfortably, except for Hige.
Toboe: Ki-baa, Hige won't sit still!
Kiba: Hold on, Toboe. Hey miss?
Flight Attendant: Yes sir?
Kiba: Could you get my friend a box of crayons?
Flight Attendant: Of course sir.
The Flight Attendant handed Hige a box of crayons. Hige opened up the box and suddenly became giddy like a school girl.
Hige: Yay! A green one!
Tsume: I wonder what the inflight movie is?
Announcer: It's the smash hit anime film that captured Otaku hearts everywhere. "Dragonball Z: Gone With The Wind."
Hige: OH GOD NO!! EJECT EJECT!
Kiba: Uh Hige, there is no eject button.
Hige: I'll show you!
Hige jumped out of the plane window.
Toboe: Wouldn't he be hurt, Kiba?
Tsume: Don't worry the plane hasn't taken off yet.
Tokyo, Japan Otacon
The boys entered the building and their jaws dropped.
Kiba, Tsume, Toboe, and Hige: Ooooooooooooooo, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Hige: Wow! This convention is huge!
Toboe: There are people from around the world here!
Tsume: Look at all of the anime they have for display.
Kiba: Let's look around. Hey Toboe, what's that in your hand?
Toboe: Oh this it's a Tamagochi! Aren't they the coolest?
Tsume: Uh Toboe, those were the biggest fad in 1997.
Hige: Man, I'm surprised yours still works.
Kiba: Look at it this way, those things were a lot better than that stupid pet rock.
Tsume: Hey! Don't you dare dis the pet rock!
Hige: Yeah, but they're not as creepy as those goddamn Furbies.
Little Girl: I love you, Furby!
Furby: Me love you!
As the little girl turned off her lights and fell asleep, the Furby's eyes glowed red.
Furby: Must...kill...child...must...kill...President...Bush...must...make...sex...tape...with...Paris...Hilton...must...make...millions...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
All four boys shuddered their shoulders at the thought of evil Furbies taking over the world. They all walked up to a shop both where they all saw a familiar face.
Kiba: Lord Darsche!? What are you doing here?
Lord Darsche: I've decided to live out my dream.
Tsume: Which was?
Lord Darsche: Sell Condoms.
Hige: Really, well in that case do you have the Trojan Heated Sensation Condoms by any chance?
Toboe: Hige! Well it's nice to see that you're not trying to kill us.
Lord Darsche: I know. This is actually a lot more fun. It's better than dealing with that neighbor of mine.
Tsume: Oh yeah, so how is Mario?
Mario was sitting on the couch, flipping the channels on his remote control. He then decided to go to the bathroom and lock the door. Luigi ran by, asking Mario to open the door.
Luigi: Mario! Open this door! I have to defecate now!
Mario: Keep your pants on!
Lord Darsche: Would you please shut up! People are trying to sleep here!
Kiba: That sucks.
Toboe: Having to put with noisy neighbors isn't really fun at all.
Lord Darsche: Tell me about it and it's not just me that complains about them, the whole neigborhood complains about them too. Well, I have to get back to work, I'll see you guys around.
Hige: Before you go back to work, can I get some condoms for free?
Lord Darsche: Knock yourself out.
Hige: Thanks.
Hige grabbed a handfull of condoms and shoved them into his pocket. The boys walked to a booth where they were showing the new Vampire Hunter D movie.
Tsume: Ooooooo, Vampire Hunter D!
Toboe:"Vampire Hunter D: The One Man Show."
Hige: Sounds pretty exciting.
D: Rocket...man...burning...through...the..sky.
Kiba: Uh, I wouldn't get that movie.
Tsume: Why not?
Kiba: It's one of those William Shatner type of things.
Toboe: Oh man, they have shitty anime too!
Tsume: Toboe, you can't escape the crappiness of anime these days.
Kiba: Let's keep going, there has to be some good stuff around here.
In a dark and scary place, there lurked three evil men, bent on destroying Kiba and his friends. Vash the Stampede, Spike Speigel, and Kenshin all met in the lair.
Vash: Our plan is falling into place, those four had made fun of our anime for the last time!
Spike: I'm sick and tired of those assholes. Thinking they're smarter than everybody else and making up these witty criticisms about our work.
Kenshin: Soon, my evil army of Kuronekos will be sent out to attack those little bastards and their little fun time!
Vash: Finally, our pride will be restored! MWAHAHAHAHAHA (lightning strike) wait... why does it do that?
Kenshin: What are talking about?
Vash: Here watch, MWAHAHAHAHAHA (lightning strike) see!
Spike: Here's your problem.
Spike unplugged the Dolby stereo, Evil Edition from the surge protector.
Kiba and the boys kept on walking towards the upcoming anime releases. They continued to walk until they noticed the second volume of the Animatrix.
Kiba: This looks really good.
Toboe: I can hardly wait for this one to come out.
Morpheus: Neo, you have a choice, take the red pill, which will take you into the Matrix, or take the blue pill, which will make you into a low rate sex offender like Quagmire in Family Guy.
Neo looked at both pills carefully. Two hourss later, he finally made a desicion.
Neo: I'll take both.
Neo took both pills and gulped them down, then he disappeared. He reappeared again, this time in a different world.
Neo: Whoa, where am I?
Just then, Kaname and Sanoske were walking up the steps to school.
Kaname: Uh Sanoske?
Sanoske: Yes, Ms. Chitori?
Kaname: Who the hell is this?
Sanoske: Hey if you're looking for the Animatrix, you're in the wrong anime.
Neo: Shit.
Tsume: Uh maybe not.
Hige: Yeah, let's go check out some other stuff.
Kiba: Hey, did any of you guys figure what Animation Solictors Society acctually stood for?
Toboe: Yeah it stands for a-
Announcer: A special announcement, would the following people please show up at the front of the elevator, Kiba, Hige, Tsume and Toboe, please show up at the front of the lobby elevator, thank you and have a nice day.
Hige: That's us!
Toboe: I wonder what they want?
Tsume: I don't like this one bit.
Kiba: Relax Tsume, if they turn out to be assholes, we can just kick their asses.
The boys headed for the lobby and waited in front of the elevator. Just then, the elevator opened and the three evil men showed up.
Vash: Okay, which one of you is Kiba!?
Hige, Tsume, and Toboe all pointed to Kiba.
Kiba: Gee, thanks guys, you're real pals.
Spike: You little bastards have made fun of our anime for the last time!
Kenshin: Yeah and my army of Kuronekos will defeat you!
Vash: Hey wait, wasn't there supposed to be an army of Kuronekos?
Kenshin: I could've sworn I called Meryl to deliver the cats.
Kenshin was redialing the number on a banana.
Spike: Uh, Kenshin?
Kenshin: Not now Spike, I'm kinda busy.
Spike: You're dialing a banana.
Kenshin looked at what he was dialing.
Kenshin: Oh.
Kenshin tossed the banana aside and gave his usual ass kicking pose.
Vash: Anyway, why do you hate our anime so much?
Tsume: It's not that we hate your anime.
Toboe: It's that you guys try to create so many spin-offs of the shows we love.
Hige: And that's why people have stopped watching.
Spike: Are they really that bad?
Hige: Yeah they are.
Kiba: I'd have more fun playing Hungry Hungry Hige.
Tsume: Come on Hige, finish that Quizzno's sub!
Toboe: Come on Hige, we have to give you apples for desert!
Hige: Stop forcing me to eat! I'm fat enough as it is!
Tsume: You're not fat!
Toboe: You're big-boned!
To be continued...
