((James's POV))
"What happened, mate?" Sirius said, a look of concern on his face as soon as he saw the shocked look on my face.
"Well...I supposed it was my fault," I said, slightly embarrassed. "I sort of called her a bitch."
"How do you "sort of" call someone a bitch?" asked Remus sarcastically.
I ignored him and continued, "Well, then she turned around and like got so up in my face I thought she was going to whack her head against mine, and she said...she said..."
Sirius looked exasperated and said, "SHE SAID..."
"...she said; You know, Potter, two weeks ago I think I would've SWORN you didn't have the balls to say a thing like that to me. But now, of course, I KNOW you must, seeing the things you let girls SUCK on in empty classrooms."
When I lifted my eyes from my beat-up trainers, Sirius's jaw was so wide I thought it would become unattached. Ditto for Remus.
"Okay," said Sirius slowly. "Let me get this straight. You gave head in an EMPTY CLASSROOM???"
James blushed, but he laughed all the same. "Yeah. It wasn't the smartest idea."
Remus was shaking his head with a look of amusement. "What?" asked James.
"Did you realize," Remus said. "That this means Lily SAW you? She has enough blackmail to last a lifetime. You had better be nice to that girl."
Realization sunk in. Lily had spied on me while...well, you know. That is SCARY.
"Holy fuck," said Sirius, in awe. "Lily is scarier then I thought."
"But...Remus," I said, frowning. "Couldn't she use it for blackmail already? There's not much I can do...unless I get blackmail on her."
"NO!!!" yelled both Sirius and Remus at the same time.
"James," said Remus.
"She would –" said Sirius, frightened.
"Kill you." finished Remus. "And plus, I doubt you can dig up anything better then what she's got."
"Well," said Sirius. "Unless you get her drunk enough to give you a blow job, and then...well...it worked out in my head. Now it just sounds stupid."
My disgust was beyond words. And yet it sounded strangely appealing. SHUT UP, BRAIN.
"Sirius, you're my best mate and everything, but – "
"Yes, Jamesie?"
"Shut the fuck up."
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((Lily's POV))
"So how long do you think it'll be before he realizes if he doesn't apologize he'll get blackmailed for life?" asked Maria with a grin.
Lily laughed. "Oh, we just have to wait for Remus to tell them." She shivered. It was nearly November, but the fireplace was warm and she was wearing a sweater, so she wasn't cold. Perhaps it was the expecatation...
About ten minutes later, she saw James, Sirius and Remus re-entering the common room. Sirius led the way over to us. They sat down, and I decided to be as cold as possible, seeing as they deserved nothing less.
I didn't say a word, just averted my eyes anywhere but them. The ceiling, the floor, Maria, Alex, the stairs, whatever. Still, out of the corner of my eye I saw James, still fuming but there was now fear in his eye.
Sucka, I thought maliciously.
"Can I help you?" came Alex's icy, professional voice. I love that girl.
"Actually, you can." Said Sirius, this time, very serious. "James? Would you like to say something?"
James sighed and reluctantly said, "Lily? Can I have a word with you?"
I still didn't look at him. So aggravating, keeping myself from insulting him.
"Anything you would like to say to Lily, you can say here," intoned Maria, just as cold as Alex.
Suddenly ideas flashed through my head of things I definitely didn't want James to say in front of all my friends. "No, no," I said hurriedly but frosty. I walked over, away from my friends to a dusty corner, motioning James to follow me.
We stood there for a moment, me, expectant, my arms crossed across my chest, James, awkward and not knowing how to begin. "Well?" I asked.
"Um...Lily...I just wanted to apologize for, well, calling you a bitch and everything..."
"Mm hmm..."
"And I hope you'll forgive me...and that we can try to be friends," he finished lamely.
I tapped my finger on my chin for a moment and pretended to think. "Huh, that's funny, I think you're just doing this so I won't spread the whole blow-job thing around school. Forget your lame apologies. I won't tell anyone, but I will not, repeat, will not, under any circumstances, be your friend."
I started to walk back, but James caught my arm and turned me around. I wrenched my arm out of his grasp. Why did touching him make me feel like I had swallowed a million butterflies? "WHAT?" I asked impatiently, uncomfortable that he touched me just now in any way.
"Lily...why can't we be friends?"
I gave him an exasperated look. "You know just as well as I do. You've been horrible to me, you're an egotistical jerk, you try to ask me out because you think every girl would jump at the chance, you're an egotistical jerk, your head is so swollen I wonder how you stay upright on a broomstick, just about a half an hour ago, you called me a bitch, and you're an egotistical jerk. Should I keep going?"
For a moment, I saw that look flit across his eyes. The look that appeared as if I had just broken his already broken heart. "No." He said it quietly and without making eye contact.
"Good," I said, unnerved. I turned around and walked quickly back.
"Maria! Alex!" I called to them. They looked up at me. "I think I'm gonna just...go up in the dormitory, ok? You guys stay down here."
They had concerned looks on their faces but they nodded and Alex stood up. She gave me a hug and whispered in my ear "You want company?" I shook my head no, and she said, "Okay. But, Lil, remember...just because you feel one way doesn't mean you can't feel another."
She broke our embrace and turned around just as I was about to inquire. Whatever. I was tired. I swiftly strode up the stairs and into the girls' dormitories.
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((James's POV))
I walked back over to where we were sitting, just to see Lily give Alex a hug and head up to her dormitory. As Alex sat back down, she whispered something to a concerned-looking Maria. Maria nodded and turned back to us. She faced me and said, "James Potter."
"Maria Grenovich?"
"I hope you know that your actions are completely foolish."
"Which ones?" I inquired, confused.
She gave me a disgusted look. "That apology was lame."
I was surprised to hear that come out of her mouth, considering we were out of earshot when I had attempted to apologize. "I beg your pardon?"
"I read lips," she said, grinning. "And your apologies suck."
I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, babe."
"So," Remus said innocently. "How'd it go?"
"You, Remus Lupin, are full of it," I said, annoyed. "It didn't go very well. She hates my guts, I hate hers –"
I was cut off by everyone snorting with laughter, grins hidden by their hands. "What?" I asked.
"Well," said Sirius, obviously about to be a smartass. "'Hate' isn't the word I would use, if I were talking about you and Lily. Actually, I would probably use that word when it comes to Lily. But, for you, I would probably shoot for a little...hmm...weaker word for you. Possibly even opposite. But you know, that's just me."
"Ha ha," I said sarcastically. "You're so funny, Sirius."
"Aren't I just?" he said innocently.
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((Lily's POV))
As she lay on her bed in the dormitory, she stared at the ceiling and wondered.
Why does he make me feel so many ways at once? I asked myself. I'm so confused...
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((James's POV))
As the others chatted away, my mind wandered back to Lily.
Why does she make me feel so many things at once? I wondered. I'm so confused. I feel like I could beat her up if she said one more harsh word to me, but then I feel like I would follow her wherever she goes, no matter how many miles she travels...
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((Lily's POV))
...I feel I could follow him for ten thousand miles, maybe more, wherever he would go.
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((James's POV))
I wonder if...no, it can't be. I can't...no. That would never happen.
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((Lily's POV))
I feel so weird when he touches me, even in the slightest way...I wonder...no, of course not. Silly of me to even think it.
