SuMmArY – "I'm not afraid to die… Because I know you're waiting for me… On the other side of this boarder between life and death." Is there a limit to how much one should give themselves away? How much one should love? What happens...when someone you love steals your very self away and leave you with nothing...?
DiScLaImEr – ::ahem:: Umma…I think this is where I state the very fine line between fantasy and reality…rite? Okok…I don't own "Spirited Away" or anything to do with it… ::runs off::
AuThOr's NoTe – What with all the studying that I'm supposed to be doing rite now for my midterm tomorrow… ::eyeing an entire dinner table stacked with notes and textbooks:: Hahaha…I thought I'd take a break…extending from the one that I was already taking two hours ago… TT So here is my second attempt at a Spirited Away one-shot XP
Gomen ne, minna…with the little time I have, I haven't been able to write my ongoing Spirited Away fic at all…demo, it'll get finished…someday n.n Meanwhile, I hope you'll like this one-shot…try to guess whose POV it's from, okiez? Hahaha…it was harder to make this one not obvious though, unlike my last one-shot…mou, enuff chit-chat…enjoy!
CaUtiOn – Oh yeah! Almost forgot…this ficcy contains suicidal themes…you've been warned!! But I said "themes"…explanations at end…if I didn't scare you away, read on and hopefully you'll like it XP
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Somewhere Between Life and Death
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::It's been so long since I last saw you; so long since I last heard you speak…since I last held your hand. Leaving you was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do…but somehow…
Somehow, you seemed to have refused to leave me.
It's been ten years since we've been separated by a cruel twist of fate, and not a day has gone by that I didn't miss you. Often I'd find myself wondering how you are…and how these past years have gone by for you. I would wonder if you'd be able to see me coming to my side of the old, abandoned theme park that used to be the portal to your world; wonder if you'd be able to see me sitting there for hours on end, as if I believe that somehow, if I sit there long enough and wish hard enough, you'd appear before me. Or I would wonder, as I lie awake in bed at night, if you'd be able to see the innumerous tears sliding down my cheeks silently and uncontrollably as I stare out at the starry sky that once belonged to us. Or I would wonder…
I would wonder if you'd forgotten about me already. I would wonder if those words that you said to me meant anything to you.
I would wonder if I meant anything to you.
Yet…something inside me would rebel against these thoughts which continuously stab my heart like knives. Something deep inside of me tells me that you meant what you said as you let go of my hand that fateful day—that you did, and still do, feel the same way about me as you did that day.
I love you…
The same way I've felt about you since you first lend me your helping hand.
Even now, I can hear you as clearly as I did that day, uttering those words of yesterday—the yesterday of a lifetime ago. It's almost as if you're standing before me…
Right here before me, in the land where the mountain rises to meet the crystal blue skies, where the treetops reach out to grasp the clouds.
I'm not afraid to die…
Because I know you're waiting for me…
On the other side of this boarder between life and death.
If ten years are not enough to forget about you—if ten years are not enough for me to move on with my life and leave you and memories of you behind…
Then I'll make this vow to you, right here and right now—
I'll never let you go.
Because we were meant to be. If not, why would we have met? Why can't I forget about you? Why, whenever I'm most alone, thoughts of you would comfort me and dry my tears? Why would I treasure those childhood days so much, when everything that's happened seem more like a dream than reality? Why does it hurt so much every time I look at the sky?
Why, even with all my friends and family around me, do I feel so…
Empty?
…so incomplete?
Why do I need you so much, if we were not meant to be?
Signing, I shielded my eyes and looked to the skies, feeling the familiar ache in my heart. A little laugh escaped my lips. Fate is a funny thing, isn't it? It shows you the one thing—or the one person—that could make you happy, satisfy the emptiness in your heart…make you complete. Then just when you begin to understand what it means to love…what it means to truly live…
You're taken forever from him.
Closing my eyes in pain, a lonely tear slid down my cheek unbidden. My heart, although undeniably beating, felt cold and without feeling…almost as if it was frozen over.
The desperation, the frustration, the unexplainable pain…
The fear of losing you, the fear of forgetting about you…the fear of forever being without you…
These…are the feelings that constantly plague my heart, almost driving me insane with the mental pain it gives. These are the feelings that nag at me, telling me that it might've been better if we never met…because knowing you...meeting you…
It showed me what it meant to live without this gaping hole in my heart—the hole which you've forever claimed as your place in me.
And so…these are the fears that I want to avoid at all costs…
I made a promise to you ten years ago…and I'd do anything to keep that promise, now more than ever. After all…it's two promises that I owe you, isn't it?
I took a deep breath and smiled as I looked down to the city that had been my home since the day I met you. Everything looked so small and insignificant from up here…almost as if everything and everyone important were merely toys. I look up to the blue, blue sky—our sky—and my heart soared with the pair of eagles nestling in those cliffs high above the world.
I'm going to be able to see you again soon, my Love.
Now only one last thing to do.
Okaa-san…Otou-san…hontoo ni gomen nasai. Demo…I don't think I have a choice anymore—I see that now. I'm leaving this world behind for the one I love. Onegai…don't be sad, and don't worry about me. I think you understand what I mean…because you know what it means to love, unregrettably and unconditionally. You know that sometimes, you have to give up a lot in order to protect that which is most important to you.
I want to protect this feeling…I want to protect this person—my moments with him, my memories of him—I want to live with that.
I want to see him.
I know I can't live a complete life without him. I know I can't completely be myself with him. So please…accept my selfish request…
Let me go.
I'll always love you both.
I can feel the air beneath my feet as I jumped to meet the clouds; I can feel the gusts of wind whipping past me as I descended towards the trees.
Out of nowhere in the horizon, a silver streak speeded towards me—a silver streak with scales that reflected the brilliance of the sun and emerald green eyes…
Eyes that glowed with a depth of longing and love that warmed my very soul.
Haku…
……………………. Owari …………………….
Wow…it's so short!! Kekeke….oh well, one-shots are supposed to take shorter time to read…rite?? XP
Anyways…since the last one-shot I wrote was from Haku's POV (well, for me, that is), I thought I'd write one with Chihiro's POV! Mou…was it really obvious who was talking/thinking the whole time??
::shrugs:: Iunno what's with me and making all my one-shots so darkly themed TT Kekeke…oh well, a lil angst is good once in awhile too, ne?? XD Anyways…To explain what I meant by only "theme"…note I didn't say she died—I only said she jumped. And so, for those of you that like to think Haku came to save Chihiro in the nick of time, go ahead. And for those of you that like to think she died and went to the Majou no Sekai and to Haku…well, that works too! Kekeke…ahhh, the beauty of writing a 2-way ficcy…avoid too many flames! n.n
And to explain also…the italics starting with "okaa-san, otou-san…" is a letter that Chihiro wrote for her parents to read. By only one more thing to do, I meant to actually…well…get off the cliff. ::scratches head:: Wow…why the hell did I just write a ficcy this dark?!?! =.=
Mmm…guess I have no more excuses ne?? Back to studying for my midterm tomorrow!! ::sighs:: u.u
As with all my ficcies and always, all criticisms, comments or suggestions are all very very much welcomed!! Please tell me what you think!
Aqua Sunshine n.n
