Author's Note: Hot new story, fresh from the mind... A Kitty/Remy what a surprise! Kind of crappy introduction, it will get better...
Hey... My name is Katherine Pryde, to most others I'm called Kitty, and in the ever hated mutant world I am known as Shadowcat.
I have the ability to cancel out all matter and phase through it. My power has gotten me out of a lot of tight spots. But the problem at hand, probably one of the biggest I have faced or will ever, is something my power is completely useless against.
Maybe I should explain from a different point of view...
Many people have a theory that when you fall in love, it's unexpected. You don't know how it became, or why it's still there. Why that person wants you, even though you know why you want them. It all has to deal with the whole big existence of the so-called "fireworks, lights, a feeling that you have never felt before."
But right now I have the courage to say that for me that theory doesn't apply, at least at first.
My experience of falling in love was not unexpected, it was rather waited for. I always thought that he would be the one. The one that the theory went by... I was wrong though.
Maybe that was the part that made it go wrong. I never got pulled into the action of love as a train ride of adventure. I sort of just sat there being in this relationship that somehow turned to be some kind of love.
Now the part that was unexpected was when I fell out of love, simply realizing one day that this person wasn't the one I was meant to be with. Where does the theory go for this? I remember asking myself that.
And then the real big surprise was when I found that the theory actually had a place in my life. It just simply occurred after I fell out of love, and it occurred when I fell back in.
But though the theory fit somehow, it never really gave me the answer... It just explained somewhat the feeling, just not the situation, nor what I should do!
But it was all of a sudden that my best friend became the person that I knew I honestly loved, the whole fireworks thing.
But I'm trying to convince myself that it isn't true. Because you see he's my best friend, like a brother. The one I turned to when my life was upside down. The one person that has seen me cry over so many things, and then the one that made right all those problems. He was someone to protect me. Someone who I feel so safe with.
But then again if I do love a guy shouldn't that guy make me feel safe...
Damn it, this is so complicated!
Maybe I should have just stayed on the ground, and not have picked myself up. Maybe then I wouldn't have to be in this situation.
So I guess that's why I am here, to tell my story. But of course to let you fully understand I have to let you start at the beginning. You'll see the moments where I tried to desperately make myself love the relationship I was in, I tried to believe that it was what I needed!
But I knew deep down, even from the beginning that it wasn't right; if only I had followed my heart from the beginning... if only.
Though right now my story doesn't have a happy ending, or even a sad ending. But all that is because the story, my story has yet to end. It's still going on, and I am just one being trapped.
But maybe by the time I'm done telling you how it started it will have played itself out; and then I won't have to let you figure it out.
And to see what that ending is, you have to wait and be patient. A lesson that I, myself should have obeyed.
Throughout the story some theories have came to me about what I should do, but they just never fit. Not a single one of them...
