Chapter 14: The Sad Truth (aka Change is Constant)
Author's Note: Well, I have to say this is the downright weirdest chapter I ever wrote. Time for more reflections! So I call it...
Le Disclaimer: I do not own Hamtaro...if you didn't see this same disclaimer in prior chapters...
The Ham-Hams spent the reminder of the day searching frantically for Cappy. They searched almost everywhere they could. But it was a bit of a worthless cause. How can you find something if you have no clue whatsoever where it is? There were no clues; no clues were found. It was like Cappy was...forgotten.
As much as the Ham-Hams hated to admit defeat, defeat had admitted itself. It was a hopeless cause; a wasted day. They needed something to give them some direction. It was as if they were fighting for an impossible dream. But it wasn't impossible. They all knew that. If they gave it everything they had, they could accomplish that. Life was an adventure. They weren't going to give up on this one. No, not when it was all to find a missing friend. Heck, who would give up? This was serious. This wasn't like a tea party, or little child game. This was important; a case of life and death. Hopefully Cappy wasn't dead...
Eventually time grew low for the Ham-Hams. The sun was setting; which meant time to go home before their beloved owners would get worried (if they did). Still, they were exhausted. It wasn't an easy day. It was more like a hard and frustrating one. Bijou went home both exhausted and angry...along with worried. Was it really too late?
She climbed up the tree and hopped back into her cage from the open window sill. Opening the cage door, the white hamster was greeted by that morning's uneaten breakfast. She quickly took a sunflower seed and munched it down. Ever since Oxnard died, she'd never go a day without eating. It was her promise she had made during Oxnard's funeral. She wasn't going to let what happened to him happened to her.
She watched as her worn-out owner entered the room. Opening a study book, it looked as if Maria was going to get some homework done, while Bijou, not being acknowledged at all (or given fresh water or sunflower seeds), sighed and looked out the window. It was times like this she could reflect and think best; that is besides in the middle of the night or on a rainy day.
The white hamster got in a comfortable position and sighed. Was Cappy going to be okay? Or was he already dead? Would the clues lead up? Were there any clues?
Bijou didn't know. It seemed she didn't know anything anymore. She really did miss the days when life was as carefree as a smooth, calm breeze on a cloudy day. She missed the days when she could relax; she missed the days when she could be dependent on her friends.
She was independent now. Her friends weren't always going to be there; so she learned. It was a rather negative view, but it was true. They weren't always going to be by your side. Everything comes to an end. Did that mean her friendships would?
Friends forever? Was that phase even true? How could you be 'friends forever'? You just grow apart. Their thoughts raced through Bijou's head, as she frowned a bit. Life goes forward, it doesn't stop. People change. You just have to enjoy things while they last. Make the best of it. You don't know what you have until it's gone....
Bijou swallowed hard on the last part. She had realized that; many times. She had realized that with her owner, her friends, Hamtaro...
She paused once again. Why did all her thoughts always end up at the beginning; at that one stupid hamster? She went on.
If people change, it means you do. You change. You aren't the same. A good thing can go bad...and then Bijou stopped her thoughts. "Have I changed for the worse?" she asked.
Would she even get an answer? That was opinion. Some would say she's grown up to be a great person (or hamster for that matter) while others...they disagree.
Maybe it was true she had been a bit of a snob; a bit of a bitch...as Hamtaro put it when they first met again...
But she didn't want to be that. She wanted to be a good person. She wanted to be perfect...
Everything has its flaws...
Was being perfect impossible? Bijou sighed to see she would have to face the truth.
It was.
It wasn't worth acting anymore. It wasn't worth holding in emotions. Tears down poured from Bijou's eyes. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to change. She wanted to keep things the same. Things were changing way too fast. And now, it seemed it was hard to make even a moment of time last...
Why was life so hard? Why were things so different? She'd puzzle the thought before, but now, even with some of the Ham-Hams' problems solved, life was harder than it ever was.
These were the teenage years. She would have to make the best of them. A lot of people had and are going to tell her what to do; there are going to be a lot of decisions. She'd have to trust her conscience; follow her intuition. She'd have to choose right from wrong. But sometimes...it was hard.
Sometimes the message wasn't clear. How did anyone survive these crazy years? How can people make it without getting their hearts broken? How can they make it without giving up?
They just...did. Everyone got their hearts broken; Bijou knew it was true. But she didn't want to get hers broken. It had already been broken once before. Would it hurt even more? She was scared...
Life was one scary thing. No longer was it just a walk in the park; a piece of pie. It was...what was life anyway? A definition couldn't ever answer this question. This was something experience would do. This was an opinion, not a fact.
And speaking of definitions, could a dictionary even get anywhere near defining the mysterious definition of love? No, it couldn't. It could never even cover the basics. Everything was so much more than people made it.
Now, she was experiencing it; learning for herself. Things that never mattered as a kid, matter now. She was learning something new everyday, just like everyone else did. She was finding new talents, discovering new flaws.
And through it all, she was just living. She was just living her life. It was hard at times, but there were a lot of advantages.
Seasons change, time flies by. No day is ever the same. And that was what made life interesting. No person you'd ever meet would be the same. Bijou could easily see that between her friends. Life was in her own paws, and she could do anything with it.
She could maybe even make the world a better place.
But how? That was the next thought that popped into Bijou's head. Things were all twisted up right now. There was a knot everywhere she could name there possibly being one. Discomfort, uneasiness, fear, never having a situation such as the one being thrown before you.
She'd make it through though. Through all the bad things that happened she could see a ray of light; a ray of hope. Life would go on; time would heal.
She'd handle the situations of discomfort and be proud of doing so. She'd learn; she'd grow, and maybe even the days of hardship (much like those now) would be turned back into the happy, carefree days that were in her childhood. She could do it. She just would have to look at life in a different way.
She'd need to see things from a positive perspective. She'd need to encourage herself through the bad. She'd need to hold on when things got tough. Because at the end of life's cold dark tunnel was light. There was glorious sunshine; there was reward.
If she applied herself to making it to the light; getting out of the darkness; then she could accomplish it. She could make it; she could make it pass the distractions and get her reward. No matter how long it took; no matter how much she wanted to give up; she'd just have to do it. She'd just have to stay focused.
It was time to fix things.
And that was true. As much as Bijou didn't want to face her problems, she'd need to if she ever wanted to get to that rainbow; that light. And for starters, she'd need to face the one person who she had been avoiding; she'd need to face the one problem she feared to look on. She'd need to find a way through...she'd need to talk. But it wasn't the talking part that she was scared of...it was who.
That person that she needed to fix things with; the one person that could never escape her mind; the one problem that would always stay if not consulted; that one problem that kept her from being completely satisfied...
She'd need to find a way to work things out with Hamtaro...she'd need to find a way to get passed the discomfort; she need to find a way to figure out if she was still in love...and something deep down told her that this was the only way; this was what she needed to do...
It may be just a feeling; but it was instruction. It was the direction the Ham-Hams didn't have with finding Cappy. But maybe, if this worked; maybe if her intuition proved more than just a feeling; then she could apply it in other places...maybe she could piece together the pieces of the puzzle...maybe somehow she could make the world a better place...and just maybe she could be more than who she was.
As the white hamster soon settled, as her constant thoughts came to an end; she shut her eyes. As her real thoughts of reality grew less frequent; as she entered her fantasy world; she realized one thing.
Reflecting on everything she had thought about before; putting it into little words; she could honestly say that this was the sad truth. Life's sad truth that she would have to overcome...she had some direction now...a prediction...and maybe now...life would get just the slightest bit...easier.
Final Notes: I don't know if these reflection chapters are doing any good to this story; all I know is that they give a bit more understanding into what the main character's feeling (yes, the main character is Bijou, seeing this is written centering her) and that one of my strengths in writing is expressing emotion (at least I think). You could probably rewrite this whole story centering Hamtaro and have a completely different and still fairly interesting story. I'm not going to do it, but it'd be sort of cool if someone else (or maybe me someday) did. It'd be rather interesting to compare. Please review! You be the judge if this was a wasted chapter or not! Sorry for any grammer of spelling mistakes (same case as last time)
