Disclaimer: I don't own Tom Brokaw or the Nightly News. Sorry, but the personal slave collection is being left out of this one. Yuck!

A/N- Sorry this authors note is so long, but I will now proceed to thank everyone who wrote in, and give a personal notes to my friends off-line who wrote in. Be prepared for corniness... (tee hee hee... enjoy it Andrea, it won't last long. )

To the dear Green jade swallow, How are you my dear? (that one's for your sister). It has been much to long since my last update. Oh yes, I remember the Buzz Saw Falls episode. That was great fun. May your corn be ever yellow, my dear green acquaintance; that is, may the Emperor ever have his new corn! (Say Hi to Mr. And Mrs. Pickles for me). Please e-mail me as soon as possible.

To my editor to be- I'm VERY sorry to disappoint you, but it appears as if The Fellowship of the Cheap Plastic Ring will not be in production this summer. sniff, sniff WAAAAAAAH!!!!! It's a long story, but I willl explain it to you when next we meet on a Friday night.

To Remy La Beau- (that is how it is spelled isn't it?) Thank you for being a loyal friend even if you only reviewed once.

Also many thanks to Aryante, The smiley face dude, Chix, and any others I may have forgotten. Your reviews are all greatly appreciated.

To all of you who are still trying to figure out what this story is, I have finally decided. It is a generally mordern version of Greek mythology with romance, a bit of tragedy, and a touch of cheesy humor. Sounds pretty sophisticated, huh?

And now, to conclude this very LONG a/n, back by popular demand........Athena's old English!!!! (Yay, yahoo, Yipee, whatever.) And now to the story.

Chapter Four: It isn't always easy...

Athena was sitting at home quietly when it happened. Another of her "great ideas". (So much for "A lesson Learned"). But let's go back in time to see how it really happened.

Watching the Nightly News with Tom Brokaw was nothing new for Athena. It was her job to find out who was mad at who for what and start a war then completely obliterate both sides and send them home whimpering to their mummy with their tail between their legs and force them to sign a peace treaty. Such was the line of work for Athena, day in, day out. Get angry, kill, sign a peace treaty. Get angry, kill some more, sign a peace treaty. And Athena wouldn't have it any other way. But there was something different about tonight. Something smelled fishy... 'Oooh, 2-for-1 salmon night in the Agora-eth' thought Athena. 'No, that's not it-eth. Something else-eth...'

Suddenly a commercial caught Athena's eye. It went something like this:

"Have you been down lately about your recent dates that turned out a disaster? Is there a man or woman you love who just won't give you the time of day?"

(Athena): Yes-eth!!

"Would you do anything just to get his or her attention?"

(Athena):YES-ETH!

"Then you need to see...a Psychiatrist!"

Suddenly a really catchy song started playing.

(To the tune of "At the Continental Auto Mall, East 32 nd Street" )

"At the Psychiatrist's Office,
East 'Special Person' Street,
Right next the nut house!"

Athena stared blankly at the screen. She had to go! Grabbing her salmon, she dashed out the door and down the street.

Later

Sitting in the psychiatrist's office, Athena was getting very impatient. She was waiting for the psychiatrist to come in and tell her exactly what was wrong with her and Ares. Suddenly the walked in.

Athena: Oh, your finally here-eth! So do you know what is going wrongeth?

Psychiatrist: sighs then sits down at her desk Well Athena, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your little episode with Aphrodite's girdle has made it impossible for Ares to love you, or anyone else but Aphrodite.

Athena face grew solemn.

Athena: So what does this meaneth?

Psychiatrist: It means that you could never court him, or marry him, or many other things. He will always love Aphrodite, no matter what you do.

Athena: But I can not marry any one else-eth! All of the other gods are stupid, drunk, ugly, stinky, hairy...

Psychiatrist: Gods?

Athena: Well, yes-eth!

Psychiatrist: Yes Athena, I know. And that is exactly why I've found something better for you to try.

Athena: What-eth?

Psychiatrist: Mortal Men.

Athena: WHAT-ETH???

Psychiatrist: Mortal Men!

Athena: I heard you the first time, but... but... why mortal men-eth?

Psychiatrist: In my many years of being married to one of them, I have found that they are more docile, faithful, and loving than most gods. I think that it would be a good experience for you.

Athena: But... sigh ... it would be so hardeth. I mean, I've never done anything like thiseth!

Psychiatrist: Yes, I know. It isn't always easy to try new things, but usually, it is for the better. Please, Athena. I really think it will help you.

Athena thought for a moment.

Athena: sighs I'll do it-eth.

A/N-Hope you enjoyed! There is more to come VERY soon. But first, please vote on the first contestant on Athena's dates. Should it be Fransico, the Colombian drug lord, Hank, the cowboy, or Roger, the car salesman? Please review and let me know.