Daniel's Disclaimer: The characters of Inu-Yasha, Kagome, and Sesshoumaru don't belong to me. Neither does Miroku, either, but I'm not a rabid fangirl so it goes without saying I don't want him. When you stop to think about it, isn't that kinda weird? I mean, come on, the guy's a creep, would you really want someone like him intereasted in your body? And there's the whole--(Daniel Gudman is cut off by a savage beating administered by his muse, who couldn't care less about Miroku but is sick of his pointless self-absorbed rambling).

***

Kagome sat up, ghasping.

"What's wrong!?" Inu-Yasha growled, hand on Tetsusaiga's hilt.

"Bad dream..." Kagome swallowed nervously.

"About what?" Inu-Yasha asked.

"Sesshoumaru..." Kagome said offhandedly. She frowned. "Hey Inu-Yasha... why is Sesshoumaru so... pretty?"

Inu-Yasha fehed. "You wouldn't believe me..."

"Yes I would! How, Inu-Yasha! Please tell me." Kagome pouted, turning doe-eyes on him.

Inu-Yasha looked away, although it was dark and she was pouting four feet to his left.

"Botox." He grunted.

"Botox!?" Kagome sputtered.

"Yeah, botox." Inu-Yasha fehed. "What, you think he was ALWAYS that deadpan?"

"...botox..."

"OR that you were the only one that traveled through time!?"

***

That's not actually the first draft of this... I was hunting through my hard drive when I found my original draft (BTW, this is a pretty common scenario for me... I forget I wrote something all the friggin' time, and I'm really surprised when I find it. Kinda pathetic, but it puts a sorta "treasure-hunt" feel into house-keeping my machine).

Anyway, here is the (substantially longer) initial version. I cut out the part that started to break the fourth wall; I can't abide stuff like that, and I slapped myself when I discovered I'd done something like that. Anyway... here ya go!

***

Kagome yawned, drifting in and out of conciousness. It had been a long, hard day of shard-hunting, and Kagome for one was glad that it was over. Inu-Yasha hadn't seemed to happy, since they hadn't found any shards. He'd yelled at them, Kagome in particular, calling them weak and wimpy and such.

So Kagome had sat him, repeatedly, and by the time he managed to pry himself out of the ground, camp was already set and Miroku asleep against a tree.

Kagome yawned again, envious of Miroku's narcoleptic ability to fall asleep instantly. She squirmed deeper into her sleeping bag, and Shippo wriggled, getting comfortable against her as she shifted her own position. She didn't really understand why Shippo needed to be so close when they slept, but she figured it was just reassuring for the poor little guy.

Finally satisfied with a comfortable position, Kagome yawned, and drifted to sleep. Her eyes closed, and she drifted into unconciousness, into the world of dreams.

Finally, Inu-Yasha growled to himself. Kagome always took so long to get to sleep; and he was too paranoid subconciously to ever go to sleep with the way she tossed and turned about. He woke up at least six times every night when she was around; she would talk in her sleep or turn or something, and he'd startle awake, ready to kill whatever had encrouched on his territory. He much preferred Miroku's company at times like this (night). The houshi slumped bonelessly to the ground, and barely even breathed once asleep. He awoke fastest and easiest, too; he was the lightest sleeper, besides Inu-Yasha himself.

It was a dilemma for Inu-Yasha; when he was around Kagome he never got a full night's rest. It was ten times worse when they all shared room and she was only two meters away. He never really got to sleep then. It would be a real problem if they ever got togethe-

Inu-Yasha was firmly not thinking about THAT and KAGOME in the same context, and had been successfully doing so for eight minutes and twelve seconds (he counted) when Kagome abruptly shot upright, hyperventilating and wide-eyed.

"What's wrong?!" Inu-Yasha hissed, dropping down to sit next to her and draw Tetsusaiga, instantly ready to defeat any foe that dared disturbed his Kagome's slumber and cast the mangled remains into the Abyss. His hand tightened on the handle, ready.

"Bad dream..." Kagome ghasped, regaining control of her breathing.

Inu-Yasha fehed in annoyance. Once Kagome had explained adrenaline to him he understood why it always took at least an hour to calm down enough to sleep after any sort of surprise.

"It was about Sesshoumaru..." Kagome said, wiggling free of her sleeping bag while still leaving Shippo unturned. She shivered. "I dreamed he was a geisha that ended up going on a killing spree and ripping the still-beating hearts out of his customers. While still dressed like a whore. Jaken played theme music on the samisen."

Inu-Yasha snorted. "That bastard just decapitates humans. It tends to stain his kimono less and the blood spray is so much cooler." Inu-Yasha snorted. "Although he wouldn't look too out of place as a geisha."

"Except for the monstrous limb he usually has attached to the stump of his left arm." Kagome amended, digging through her bag to look for a water bottle. She paused, speculative. "Say, why is that?"

"Because a demon arm is so much more powerful than a human arm." Inu-Yasha lectured.

Kagome interupted him before he could start his 'humans are weak' litany. "That's not what I meant. I meant, why is Sesshou-maru so pretty?"

Inu-Yasha frowned. "Isn't it obvious?"

"No!" Kagome responded, a little angry that Inu-Yasha would just condescend like that. "I mean, he's girl-pretty; dainty, almost. Beautiful, that's it! Sesshoumaru is downright beautiful, whereas you're more hunky and cute-" She paused in her rambling then, and they both blushed, mortified by what she had said. Or at least, Kagome was mortified. Inu-Yasha felt more like yelling triumphantly and dancing around like a total fool.

"So, anyway, Inu-Yasha," Kagome said, not quite willing to face him yet, "what about Sesshoumaru's prettiness is so obvious?"

"Huh? Uh-erm, I mean, thatis, FEH!" Inu-Yasha panicked a bit, his mouth moving faster than his brain, which was still stuck on the "Hunky" and "Cute." Fortunately his mouth managed to drop back on a good 'ole standbye before his foot got into the mix.

"Inu-Yasha..." Kagome growled, trying to warn him of his dire prediciment but mostly just sounding flustered.

"Yeah, Kagome?"

Kagome decided to drop that whole thread and return to the original conversation. "What about Sesshoumaru's prettiness is so obvious?" She repeated.

"Oh." Inu-Yasha said. He grinned. "What, you haven't figured it out yet?"

"Figured what out, Inu-Yasha?!" She ground out, annoyed.

"Why Sesshoumaru is so pretty." Inu-Yasha chuckled. He was really enjoying this.

Kagome wasn't. "Dammit, Inu-Yasha, just tell me!" She growled, this time actually sounding scary. "Stupid mutt." she added for good measure.

"Bitch." Was his clever (and original) response.

"Is that all I am to you!?" She demanded, tears already pooling in her eyes.

"NO! You're somuchmore! I mean--YES!" Dammit, Inu-Yasha thought, his foot had beaten his brain to his mouth on THAT one.

"Inu-Yasha..." Kagome ground out, but inside she was grinning wickedly. He was SO easy to manipulate.

"Didn't you want to know about that bastard, Sesshoumaru?" Inu-Yasha groused.

"Fine." Kagome was a bit disappointed. She brightened then. "So do you really know why you're brother's so cute?" she was really curious.

"Botox." The hanyou grunted.

"Botox?!" The future girl cried, nearly waking their traveling companions. The answer surprised her.

"Of course! Did you think he was ALWAYS that expressionless?!" Inu-Yasha retorted.

"Well, no... but... how on earth does he get it?" Kagome asked, confused.

Inu-Yasha snorted. "What, you think you're the only one that travels through time?"

***

The endings of both forms bother me... there just sorta peter out, not the kinda snappy end you expect, ya know? Well, anyway, that's about it. Thanks for readin'.