A/N: Nods Happily Ooh yay reviews! Alright, here's the epilogue! Enjoy what you can while you can!
Edit: Whoopsie daisies! Gave you the wrong one by accident! Please reread this chapter if you saw how it was before!
Disclaimer: Boo! I refuse to say it again! Look at my past chapters to see what I refuse to repeat! (coughI don't own Slayerscough)
Epilogue-The Next Morning
In the late morning, when most of the Slayers had awoken and arrived at the cleared breakfast table, the rest of the castle, along with the majority of guests who were going to receive a major morning hangover anyway, was awoken by an earth-shaking scream of terror. The most surprising part about it was that many recognized it as Lina's scream, and rushed to her room to investigate.
They arrived to find the door locked, and passionate arguing from inside. Just as Gourry was about to knock, Lina came storming out, rushing past the lot of them and jumping out of the open second-story window. Luckily, she had Ray Wing, so she flew off. From inside the room, Luna smirked approvingly, and suggested, "One of you should go after her, if you're really her friends that is. Though, I must warn you, she's highly subject to fireball anyone who comes near her, I'm sure."
"I'll go." Without waiting for anyone to object (not that they would), Zel strode over and jumped out the same window, Ray Winging off to find Lina. Once Zel disappeared into the distance, they all turned to Luna. Gourry asked the simple, but obvious question, "What happened?"
Luna smiled, and answered, "If Lina-chan and Zelgadis-san don't come back by tomorrow morning, I'll tell you. If she does come back, let her tell you. I'm sure it'll be so much better that way."
They all exchanged puzzled looks, whilst Luna finished, "It's too early in the morning to fuss about something like this. Please, all of you, either go back to bed or order up breakfast." With that, Luna closed the door on them. Slowly, the crowd dispersed, muttering about the possibilities, and no doubt plotting the beginning of badly misinterpreted rumors.
Meanwhile, a loud explosion sounded in the far distance, just enough to not harm Seyruun, but large enough to be seen from end to end of the city. If one were to approach closer, one could hear the screams of bandits as they were obliterated by one extremely explosive "Dragon Spooking Tantrum." When the smoke cleared, only Zel saw the cause of the mass destruction--a single small redhead, whose knees had given out underneath her. It was then, that Lina Inverse, Enemy of All Who Live, started to break down and cry. Startled but concerned, Zel slowly walked up to her from behind, crouched down, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
Lina jolted at the touch, and whirled around, heating up a fireball. But when she saw his face, the fireball extinguished instantly. With a small sigh, she turned back around and continued to cry. Slowly, Zel moved his hand up and down her arm, in an attempt to soothe her. Eventually, Lina wiped away her tears, leaned into him, and looked into his eyes. All she saw midst those sapphire eyes was confusion, sympathy, and concern. With a wry smirk, she faced forward again, surveying the damage she had done.
After a long silence, she spoke. "Do you know why I punish and kill bandits?"
Humoring her, he asked, unsure, "Because they have the treasure you want?"
Lina shook her head. "From the first week on my own, I've been on a treasure hunt thanks to a letter from Luna. The bandits never had it; I just always hoped they would. I finally found the treasure, when I found Gourry, and saw his Sword of Light. For three whole years, I had searched the world over for the Sword of Light, the true Sword of Light untainted by evil."
Zel's confusion showed in his response. "But Gourry's Sword of Light…"
"The one he physically held, meant nothing to me, I only wanted to separate it from him, so that the real prize could be born."
"And that is?"
Lina looked surprised. "Didn't you see what Luna did to Gourry?"
Zel shook his head. "I must have missed it."
Lina sighed. With every sign of regret, she told him. "Luna knows a spell that extricates the weapon within, something that can be so deadly, it was banished to only those who would never make full use of it."
"And that is?"
"In Gourry's case, the Sword of Knowledge."
"The 'Sword of Knowledge'?" Zel was baffled. "What, are you saying that Gourry had always been smart, he just never realized it?"
Lina seemed to consider this briefly before shrugging it off. "I suppose you could put it like that, yes. But with Luna's operation, Gourry will soon become what he had originally intended to be."
"Which is…what?"
Taking a deep breath, Lina murmured, "A bodyguard and sycophant to the youngest Inverse daughters. Meaning me and Luna."
Zel's mind whirled. Gourry had always been appointed Lina's guardian? How bizarre. "You would think Inverses wouldn't need bodyguards, considering that their skills are so well polished, you wouldn't need a bodyguard."
Lina sighed. "I so wish that was true, believe me, I do. But, I said 'daughters' for a reason. Just think of it. What happens to female sorceresses once a month?"
Instantly, Zelgadis knew. He only murmured, "Ahh…I see your point. It was actually the reason why I was able to capture you back when we first met, wasn't it?"
Lina mutely nodded. "That's the only reason. Even Luna is subject to times of weakness- you just never see it because most of the time, she doesn't even need to use magic."
Zel chuckled nervously. He wondered what Luna could have possibly done in the past, if she didn't use magic, but still scared Lina to her wits end. And so, he decided to ask. "If she doesn't use magic much, why are you so scared of her?"
The diminutive sorceress let out another upheaval of breath. There was a long silence before she finally answered. It was so long in fact, that it took a moment for Zel to realize what she was talking about. "I don't know really. I've lived with her my whole life, well, childhood anyway. She always took care of me whether my parents were there or not. But then, once she learned of her powers as the Knight of Celphied, she changed. She started training me then, and I was only four at the time. She forced me to do unbearable measures of torture in order to fulfill my training. It was crazy things she made me do too. I still shudder at the memory of it. But, without her, I probably would have never gained the titles that I have now. You know, bandit killer-which, by the way, Luna introduced me to in the first place- Dragon Spooker-Luna also had a hand in that- Enemy of all who live-ehehe I have no idea where that came from, but I guess my nature of blowing stuff up when I mad doesn't help extinguish it huh?"
He smiled softly at her, though she couldn't see it. "Probably not."
With another sigh, Lina finished, "Well, what I guess I'm trying to get at is that it's not so much her I'm scared of…It's just…her type of punishment. And I did something really bad to her before I left."
"Care to relate?"
"No…"
"You sure? I'm all ears. It might not be as bad as you think it is."
Lina paused, and then decided that since she had already told him so much, this would seem trivial in comparison. "Erm. Fine. I…soldpicturesofhertakingabathtothelocalboysandshecaughtmebutdidntsayanythingaboutitthen."
It took a moment for Zel to decipher what she said, but when he did, he was blushing almost as much as Lina was then. But soon, he started to laugh wholeheartedly. Lina waited for him to finish, choosing to relish in the fact that the hard-headed swordsman had never laughed this hard for all the time she had known him. When he did slow, however, she asked him what he found so funny. Taking a few deep, calming breaths, he told her his view on the situation.
"Lina…it's been what, six years since you last saw your sister. You said she sent you on a treasure hunt, and it didn't really end until you found Gourry, and then you continued to travel. Don't you think that all of your hardships and the times you almost died more than enough punishment for such a prank?"
Lina bent her head down, clouding her eyes from view on all sides. Softly, she answered, "No." Before Zel could question her, he caught her short explanation that came afterwards. "I enjoyed traveling. And those near-death experiences made me stronger, and made me want to travel even more. If anything, I should be punished even more severely for staying away from home for so long."
Zel moved to wrap his arms around her abdomen, and actually surprised himself when he found that they were already in place. So instead, he pulled her towards him in a backwards embrace. "Stop worrying about being punished. You're eighteen now; you're free to do whatever you want, not that your age ever stopped you before though… And besides, the marriage went off without a hitch, right? So that should clinch it for you."
At those words, Zel felt Lina instantly freeze up and go rigid. Tentatively, he asked if she was alright. She didn't answer his question, but started to talk after another long pause. "Yeah…about that…I wouldn't exactly say it 'went off without a hitch'."
When Zel asked her why she thought as such, she gulped and plowed on. "Well, you see…I was too drunk to remember, but my sister told me this morning that…I umm…I … well…I not only married myself to you in that instant, but to…" Zel was already pumped with apprehension. Was she going to finish that sentence or not? His question was answered soon enough, but he found that his throat had gone dry. "Zel, right now, I'm married to you, Xellos, and his mistress, Zelas."
Eventually, he found his voice. He gulped in an attempt to regain some saliva, and used it to operate his mouth, if but only briefly. "H-how?"
"In the first place, it's really partially your fault. Your name is way too easy to shorten, and then be able to refer to someone else."
"What do you-" and then it hit him. Zel, Xel, and Zel(as) sounded exactly alike. Still, he protested, "But you didn't court them according to Regnum Femina right?"
At this, Lina grimaced. "It turns out, I did. Such is the fate of celebrating with a birthday ball. Anyone who gave me a ruby for a birthday present, covered the selection requirement. And since I made that whole banquet, whoever eats even a little bit of it, has covered the dining requirement. And as for the kiss part well…it was really my mistake for not having looked through the selection of drinks beforehand. You see, Zephilian wine is especially well known for having a taste that some describe as "kissing the one you love while they're drunk, and not smelling the noxious alcohol while doing so." And it just so happens that Zelas took a drink from the Zephilian wine at the same time I did…so…by Zephilian standards…that counted as a kiss. And for Xellos…well…you saw how I tripped near midnight right?"
Zel nodded. "Yeah, it didn't look particularly graceful, but that fruitcake had impeccable timing."
"Too true. Well, since he hadn't actually been expecting it, that counted as a 'stolen kiss' as well."
"There's still one requirement. You had to have the present with you at all times since you received it."
"I'm surprised. Didn't you notice how much excess jewelry I had on while I've been in Seyruun?"
As Zel stopped to consider it, he realized she was right. "Well…I think I remember seeing a new pair of earrings when I bumped into you in the hall…then a necklace was added when you 'gave Gourry his medicine'…and then at dinner…you wore all three. Wait a minute. Are you telling me that-"
"Yup. The earrings were from Xellos. I got it the morning I woke up on two days ago. Luna indirectly gave me Zelas' gift while she talked with me in my room. That's where I went off to after you gave me your gift. So you see…technically…it's all there."
Zel refused to give up the chance of having Lina all to himself as far as marriage went. He thought of something else as a result. "Wait. I thought the part about gift-giving was that it had to be 'the first available male'."
Lina considered this and said, "…or female. That clause was added for girls who like girls. I'm not like that, but I just thought you should know, since Zelas is considered female. Oh, and about that 'first available' part, Luna didn't tell me if Xellos was available. Technically, he would be my husband, if that were the case. If he isn't, I'm afraid that Zelas still beat you on the list. On the plus side, I didn't open any other presents that day after yours."
This allowed the silence to reign once more. Zel was out of ideas, and Lina had already lost hope. It was then, that it hit Lina. Directly implanted into her mind was a complete letter from her sister, and it made Lina black out for a few moments just to organize and collect herself. When she had sufficiently recovered, and had assured Zel that she was alright, she read aloud the note, though she made sure to exempt the parts she didn't feel that Zel needed to hear.
"Lina-chan:
Are you still fretting about what I told you this morning? Of course you are, I can still sense your thoughts, even from here. Well, I suppose you've recovered well enough if you're telling someone else about it already. At first, I would have thought you would've severed all contact with the involved parties and then run off on your own. I'm rather pleased that you chose to only vent your anger, and then talk rationally. Therefore, I will give you your reward early.
I knew all along that you would never agree to this, no matter what you did. So I've taken the liberty of instantly annulling your marriage connection with Xellos and Zelas, as I'm sure, at one point, your happiness, while linked with them, would severely injure those two mazoku friends of ours. And that, my dear sister, leaves you to partake in any adventures you wish with your one and only husband, Zelgadis Greywards.
Another thing: Because you were drunk on your birthday/wedding night, it shouldn't have been made official anyway, meaning at this moment, not even your marriage to Zelgadis is legitimate. Therefore, I have sent my messenger with an official paper that weds you, and makes it official by up-to-date laws. Be sure when you both sign it, to write your full names! I won't bail you out again if you choose to make the same mistake.
Ah, I can sense you growing happier as you read this note—it's time to bring you down a few notches. Though I am very pleased with having this Sword of Knowledge in my possession, as well as the current Swordsman of Light at my disposal, added to the fact that you will soon be officially married and therefore no longer require my immediate care, I have another quest for you. Don't worry, this is probably much more suited to you, and most likely much easier than the last.
I want you to…find Zelgadis' cure. (You and I both know that he's handsome as is, and he's a complete blockhead for never seeing that from the beginning, but your husband should be happy, and you shouldn't have to use a cushioning spell all the time—what if a burglar were to come in the night…during your period? That would not do at all. So this is for both of you.)
I already know where it is, but I leave it to you to collect the ingredients, and arrive at the necessary place. I've included a list to help you along the way.
3x3 in. cube of Dragon Neck (from a Dragon Cuisine)
5 in. vial of Wolf Blood (you may need Zelas' cooperation on that one)
1 full grown unicorn horn (you can find unicorns in the magical fields south of Seyruun's capital)
1 tablespoon of fairy dust (fairies are rare, but you can find them on Mipross Island, as I know you must already be aware of)
1 lock of hair off of a dwarf's beard (you might want to knock him out first…but you know that too, I'm sure)
3 rocks chipped off a full-golem (I hear Naga's quite good at creating those, but don't feel that you have to return in order to get her to do it; though, I wouldn't mind if you visited)
2 vials of troll blood from two different specimen (I wonder how you could manage to do that, since they absorb their own blood into themselves, and it dries up after they die, but I'll leave it to you to figure that one out)
1 sample of male reproductive juices (you know what I'm talking about, and don't think I can't feel you blushing as you just said that aloud to your future husband)
(Finally) You need the gem on Xellos' staff to activate the potion once you mix it all up. You're free to add lots of milk, or water (not both) to make it more…tasty and more like a drink, but if you add anything else, it can and will go horribly wrong, so watch your concoction carefully- it takes one month to boil. (look at the bright side—Zelgadis has been waiting a lot longer for his useless leads, and at least it isn't six months like the Dragon Cuisine)
Well, enjoy your quest—oh, and before I forget, once you finish collecting the materials, do the brewing in our house in Zephilia. I know you know where it is, and don't you dare try to avoid it. The people there will be happy to see you, and tell Zel that they've seen much stranger things than a chimera while living with me and Lina, so don't worry about being feared—because you won't.
Hmm, I suppose that's all I have to say. Oh, I'll be keeping your gifts from all of your guests for ransom until you return with a human Zelgadis, so that should give you some incentive for doing this. Might I add, that the first present I opened for you…was a dear little thing you've always wanted? Never you mind that now. Look in the sky, my messenger should be in close range by now- yours and Zel's packs are loaded on his back- be sure to relieve him of it quickly, and to thank him for his work with a watermelon and a pat on the nose- he likes that. Now then, off you go! Toodles!
- Your dear sister"
Right on schedule, Luna's messenger touched nearby ground, but it wasn't any normal messenger by any means. A full grown purple dragon, a rare breed cousin to the Dimos Dragon, kneeled before them, revealing the packs on its back, and the letter tied to his broad leg. While Lina unfurled the letter, Zelgadis relieved the dragon of its heavier burden. After signing the agreement, Lina handed it to Zel, who in turn signed it, before reattaching it while Lina fed him and gave him his pat on the nose. Before long, the monstrosity had taken to the skies again, and was returning to his mistress within Seyruun's walls.
Shouldering her pack, Lina turned to Zel. "Ready to go?"
Following suit, Zel put his pack on his shoulder before holding out a hand to Lina. As she took it, he smiled and replied, "I'll always be ready to travel with you, Lina-chan."
Lina grinned back. "With me as your wife, you'd better be ready to follow through with that, Zel-chan."
Together, they embarked on a journey that would undoubtedly have its problems, its interferences, and a visit to Lina's and Zel's first true home, a home that truly would end up being "Home Sweet Home."
The End
A/N: HAH! Fooled ya didn't I? You didn't actually think I was going to end it here did you? Ahh what fun would that be? Naww….I'm gonna make you review so you get to see the real final installment of this story. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA—wheezing cough—haaaaaaaackkkkkkkk…Well, review, and hopefully I'll be recovered enough to update for you! Ciao!
