Chapter 9
Hermione awoke with a strangled cry and jerked her arm up to protect her eyes from the incoming light. Slowly her mind settled back into reality, and she found out that the unbearable light shone straight through the window of Snape's hospital room into her face.
Hermione blinked the multicoloured afterimages away and sat up. A look out of the window told her that it was indeed morning again, and the sun shone brightly down on the Hogwarts grounds. Hermione felt irritated and thrown off balance when she remembered her more than creepy dream. She could still feel the prickling waves on her skin and the, now fading, hot desire in her lower body. She shook her head violently and suppressed a shudder. She would think about that dream later, after a long hot shower and a rich breakfast. She turned around to check the various lines and lights that showed Snape's health status - and found the potions Master looking at her. Hermione let out a small squeak and hurried to slide off the bed. With a shaking hand and a wide spreading smile she felt his temperature. Snape followed her with his eyes but seemed too exhausted to move further.
"I'm so glad you woke up finally, Professor! We were all terrified and sick of worry. Please try to stay awake a few moments, I have to get Madam Pomfrey. I'll be back in a second!"
With that she stormed out of the room and into Poppy's office. The nurse was preparing another potion for Snape's regrowing arm when Hermione burst in.
"He's awake! Come, quick, he woke up just this moment!"
Poppy nearly dropped the vial she was holding and run after Hermione, who had already raced back. Snape watched them enter the room together but after some seconds directed his gaze towards Hermione again. He followed her every movement while she took a seat next to him. The nurse investigated him quickly.
"Thank god, Severus, I think you've made it; the worst is over. All you have to do now is rest. Severus? Have you heard what I've said? Severus?"
This was odd; the Potions Master didn't react to his name, although Hermione was sure he had heard the nurse's voice: He had turned his head when she started to speak. Now he turned back and looked up to Hermione again, and she could see the exhaustion in his eyes. He closed his eyes, and a few moments later he was asleep again.
Poppy watched this with furrowed brows.
"I have the impression that he didn't understand what I've said. Maybe he was still too tired. His dates say that he is fats asleep now, I think he will wake up in a few hours again. Do you still want to stay here, Miss Granger? I have to inform the headmaster immediately, so if you excuse me..."
The nurse was too excited to bother with an answer from Hermione, and so she just nodded happily and drew her chair closer to the bed. She heard the doors of the hospital wing being opened and shut, and directed her attention back to Snape. His brief wake moment had made up a lot for the desperate hours Hermione had kept him company. She took his hand carefully in her own and gently stroked its back. She laughed softly when he pressed her hand lightly in response, and she felt tears dwelling in her eyes. A long time she had not received a single life-sign from him.
Only a few minutes later was the nurse back, with Dumbledore and Professor MacGonagall right behind her. Hermione told them happily what had happened earlier, and Dumbledore beamed at her while Professor MacGonagall tabbed her eyes with a handkerchief.
"Miss Granger, I have to thank you once again for Severus' life. I'm very sure that he had not recovered so quickly without your presence. Although he would never admit that, I reckon."
The headmaster twinkled at her and looked again at the sleeping potions master. Hermione was startled.
"Thank you, Sir, but I don't think that I played such a big role in his awakening. I was only sitting here, how can he possibly have been aware of me?"
She decided to remain silent about her frequently held naps next to him, sure that Madame Pomfrey wouldn't be too amused by that.
Dumbledore still sat on the edge of Snape's bed, stroking his cheek gently and smiling down on him. Hermione suddenly got the impression of father and son; certainly was Dumbledore more to Snape than the headmaster, and now she saw clearly that, in the opposite direction, Snape was more to Dumbledore than the once rescued and now protected young man and teacher. Professor MacGonagall blew her nose next to Hermione's ear, and the noise pulled her back to the present. Dumbledore had turned to her again, obviously in response to her last statement.
"Well, Miss Granger, even if you have been "only present" in the last two and a half weeks, it seems that Severus has been aware of you. Otherwise he would not be fixed on you, as Poppy told me."
"What? But... how... why?"
"Poppy noticed that he was looking at you the whole time, except when you did nothing and she was speaking to him. Once you both did something, or nothing, his attention was on you. I think that shows clearly how important you have been to him, otherwise he wouldn't have responded so clearly to you."
Hermione considered this, not knowing what to say. Luckily, she needn't.
"I suggest we wait until Severus wakes up again. Maybe he is able to recognise the rest of us, then. Miss Granger, I would highly appreciate your company, if you are not too tired..."
Again the headmaster twinkled at her, and Hermione felt herself blushing.
How in the hell can he possibly know that?! Or is he just guessing?
"Of course Professor, it's a pleasure to join you."
Professor MacGonagall excused herself an hour later, she still had some classes to teach, and Poppy choose to check on Snape in regular intervals, giving the headmaster and Hermione time to talk. They talked mostly about Snape's latest potions project, and what Hermione had found out, or rather had not found out.
Finally Hermione sighed in frustration.
"I wish there were a substance or anything which could be loaded with any charm or spell - or better, with an idea or wish, safe that idea and integrate it into the potion itself. That would be a solution. No need to understand the connection between language and mind, only the wish to understand and speak all languages - and the potion would work. There isn't such a substance by chance, is it?" she asked with amused irony.
Dumbledore chuckled.
"In theory there is, but I'm afraid it will stay theory."
He leaned back, crossing his hands and looking to the ceiling while recalling the story.
"It was thought about a substance combined out of the three ways of magic: The white, the grey and the black or dark magic. The theory says that if it were possible to unite those three ways, the result would be an energy so pure and powerful that it could be thought as the manifestation of magic itself - or, the Essence of Magic, as it is called. This Essence would be able to safe or store such a wish, as you put it, and in the further production of the potion it would be able to embed the stored wish into the potion itself. But, as I've told you, it is only a theory. A fascinating and philosophical one, but nobody can imagine how the combination of the magical ways should be done, what would be necessary, which type of spell would be required and so on. As you see, it is a very intriguing mental experiment. But in regard of your potions project I have to disappoint you."
The headmaster smiled at Hermione who smiled back and investigated this new piece of information eagerly. Dumbledore was right, it was an intriguing riddle. She wished again that it was just more than that when Snape stirred.
Immediately her attention was back at the Potions Master, as well as Dumbledore's. Snape opened his eyes a few moments later and looked at them, with a blank expression on his face. Dumbledore smiled warmly.
"Severus. I'm relieved you are with us again. How are you? Can I do something for you?"
Snape looked at both of them, and managed to speak with a voice hoarse from misuse.
"Mikä?"
Draco sat separated from the other Slytherins in his favourite armchair in a corner of the common room. He was lost in thought, and the other students knew very well not to interrupt his musings. The news of Professor Snape's awakening had spread like a wildfire; Draco had lost his chance of revenge. He choose not to think about the consequences he had to bear for this at the moment. But what had caused his foul mood was something different: Yes, he had missed the opportunity to seek the revenge on Snape for his betrayal. But when the headmaster had announced the good news at breakfast today, Draco had been relieved and outraged at the same time. And this disturbed him. How could he be relieved when the traitor lived on? Draco tried once again hard to push the memories aside which showed him the professor visiting him at home in Malfoy Manor, teaching him how to fly on a broom, playing Quidditch with him (and even soccer, at a time when an eight year old Draco had been fascinated by the Muggle sport) and later chess. Snape had been the one who had taught him reading, the one to witness Draco's first signs of magic and the one who knew Draco's favourite sweets and stuff like that. Snape had substituted Draco's father in many ways for the boy. While Lucius had been distant, demanding and almighty in Draco's eyes, someone he had adored and feared at the same time, had Snape been the one who had actually cared for him as a person, not as the only heir of the old family the Malfoys were. Draco did never need to impress Snape to be recognised and... well, loved. Draco had been certain that Snape had loved him in some way, as well as Draco had loved the professor. He smiled darkly at that thought. Yes, Lucius was his father, and Severus his dad. So why had he done that to him? Why had he switched sides to spy for that Muggle-loving fool Dumbledore? And why that charade, why hadn't he told Draco about it? He found that this was what hurt most. Draco had always trusted Snape with his thoughts. He turned the question over and over. Why hadn't he told him anything? Didn't he trust him at all? Or was it because of his father? Had Snape feared that Draco told his father about his turn away from the Dark Lord? Draco snorted with disgust but became uncertain. What had he done if Snape had told him about his function as a spy for the Light? Draco never talked with his father about personal affairs, or even his own doubts and emotions; he wasn't supposed to do so, and so he didn't do. Otherwise...
Draco knew exactly that he could not hide anything from his father if that man decided he wanted to know something. And last but not least Draco had been raised with the ideology of the dark Lord, and had been eyes and ears in Hogwarts in the last three years. Draco tried to imagine his reaction a few years earlier, when he hadn't known the implications of "serving" the Lord. He reckoned that he had been as angry as now at Snape's decision, but had not thought through it as he did now. Possibly his behaviour had changed, what had caused his father to questioning him; and he couldn't have resisted very long. It occurred to him that Snape had not only protected himself from being discovered, but also Draco from the mind-crushing interrogation by his father. Draco had to admit that that Snape had been wise not to trust him with this knowledge for the sake of both of them, although he admitted it with gritted teeth. He was furious with himself that he had been so predictable, even if it was for Snape who knew him better than his own parents. Draco did not know what to do now, and that added up to his fury. He wanted to talk to Snape, yell at him, demand an explanation, simply ask him if his care for him had been part of the masquerade, too. And, of course, why he had chosen to support Dumbledore. Draco was uncertain in that point; Snape had always been a highly reflected (and self-reflecting), intelligent man, for which Draco admired him, as well as for his talent of gaining insight and the use of the same to calculate problems as well as his environment. So... had Snape spotted something that made him sure the Dark Lord stood on the loosing side? Had he switched sides out of this reason, for self-protection, or for other reasons?
Draco longed to know the answer, he needed an explanation. He was lost in this matter, emotionally as well as intellectual. He simply didn't know what he should think of the whole situation. It did not help that Snape seemed still to be too weak to have visitors; although this did not count for that blasted mudblood Granger. Another point that added to his "fury-list". Maybe Dumbledore did not know how close Snape and he had been, but that Snape himself preferred Granger's company rather than his - it was unbearable!
Draco felt his anger dwelling in his throat again, and with a steely look in his eyes he jumped to his feet and stormed out of the room.
Had there been a mirror, he had found it amusing how he intuitively took over the body language and movements that were accustomed to an angry Snape.
