She Had Told Me
by RueRoyale
Notes/Disclaimer: Ai no Kusabi belongs to Reiko Yoshihara. No profit intended. I had wanted to write about Ai no Kusabi for a really long time, but had never had the inspiration to finish one. But recently I have been keeping things bottled up, resulting in a lack of creative writing, but also a tremendous burst when the inspiration did come.
She had told me, in one of those demonstrations of her infinite wisdom, that she was irrefutably more than what i thought she was. She had claimed that it came down from the first scientists, landing on Amoi. It was their saying, she said. It was the virtue of a distant time, a distant place, and yet, she wanted me to listen to what those distant, base, and degrading people had to say.
"If you love him, set him free."
I heard those words, that whisper in my mind that deciphered her beeps and whistles into a voice that carried meaning, even emotion. But never that emotion.
She had said it. And in saying it, conceded its existence- in her world, and in mine.
For a moment I could not recover myself to answer her. For a moment the shock of her words left me speechless. But then it sunk in. She just wanted him gone. It did not matter what illusions she wove, what illusions she allowed me to weave, as long as it did not jeapardize the life of her first son.
There was no doubt as to who she was speaking of. But what she was asking was impossible, and the decision came instantaneously, such that it was not a decision at all, but a preordained knowledge that I had had for a long time. I spoke to her:
"I can't. It is too late for that."
Again I heard her whisper in my head, her voice this time so sweet I believed for a second it was not a machine transmitting messages into my brain, but a real human woman, laying her hands upon my face, and caressing it.
The mirage dissipated quickly, and I shook my head. My voice firm, because I had determined long ago, realized long ago, what it would come to. And I had made the decision then, perhaps unconsciously, but I was fully conscious of it now. I stood up, and as I did, I said, "No. I can't."
I exited her sacred chamber, and as the door slid shut with an electronic hum behind me, I thought for a second, 'What have I done?' But the doubt passed the second after, as I wiped it from my mind purposefully, like one would wipe away grime covering a shimmering mirror.
c&c appreciated
by RueRoyale
Notes/Disclaimer: Ai no Kusabi belongs to Reiko Yoshihara. No profit intended. I had wanted to write about Ai no Kusabi for a really long time, but had never had the inspiration to finish one. But recently I have been keeping things bottled up, resulting in a lack of creative writing, but also a tremendous burst when the inspiration did come.
She had told me, in one of those demonstrations of her infinite wisdom, that she was irrefutably more than what i thought she was. She had claimed that it came down from the first scientists, landing on Amoi. It was their saying, she said. It was the virtue of a distant time, a distant place, and yet, she wanted me to listen to what those distant, base, and degrading people had to say.
"If you love him, set him free."
I heard those words, that whisper in my mind that deciphered her beeps and whistles into a voice that carried meaning, even emotion. But never that emotion.
She had said it. And in saying it, conceded its existence- in her world, and in mine.
For a moment I could not recover myself to answer her. For a moment the shock of her words left me speechless. But then it sunk in. She just wanted him gone. It did not matter what illusions she wove, what illusions she allowed me to weave, as long as it did not jeapardize the life of her first son.
There was no doubt as to who she was speaking of. But what she was asking was impossible, and the decision came instantaneously, such that it was not a decision at all, but a preordained knowledge that I had had for a long time. I spoke to her:
"I can't. It is too late for that."
Again I heard her whisper in my head, her voice this time so sweet I believed for a second it was not a machine transmitting messages into my brain, but a real human woman, laying her hands upon my face, and caressing it.
The mirage dissipated quickly, and I shook my head. My voice firm, because I had determined long ago, realized long ago, what it would come to. And I had made the decision then, perhaps unconsciously, but I was fully conscious of it now. I stood up, and as I did, I said, "No. I can't."
I exited her sacred chamber, and as the door slid shut with an electronic hum behind me, I thought for a second, 'What have I done?' But the doubt passed the second after, as I wiped it from my mind purposefully, like one would wipe away grime covering a shimmering mirror.
c&c appreciated
