A/N: i miss u, tess!! but don't let me distract you (sniff) from reading the latest installment. (and dude, i hope u were joking when u said u werent continuing ur story!)
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"Boy, it sucks that Tessyboos is moving," Dude remarked, sitting down at the breakfast table.
"Yeah," Armpit grumbled. "For once there was actually optimism and happiness in this place..."
"I think some of her optimism rubbed off on me," Eloisha said slowly. "Zero, hold up your glass." Zero held it up, and Eloisha said, "Half-full."
"Half FULL?!" Zig Zag asked indignantly. "You used to always say half-empty. Hmmmm, it seems that this Tessyboos person really DID have an effect on us."
"I miss her already!!" sobbed Squid, wailing into his arm (which was on the table), and banging his fist onto his tray.
"I'm sure you'd be making this much commotion if I was leaving!!" St. No-No shouted, throwing her re-fried beans onto Squid's head.
"Sure I would," he sniffed, wiping the disgusting food off of him. "I just like Tessyboos as a friend. A FRIEND, OKAY?! IT'S POSSIBLE, YOU KNOW!! WHY ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?! I STILL LIKE ST. NO-NO!!! STOP STARING AT ME!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
Screaming his head off, Squid threw his arms over his head and ran out of the cafeteria.
Crickets chirped.
"Um, I wasn't looking at him," Starfish said. "At least, not until he screamed and high-tailed it outta here."
"Hmmmm, perhaps we should go comfort him," X-Ray suggested him.
"LIKE!!" St. No-No cried. "HE SAID THAT HE 'LIKED' ME, NOT THAT HE LOVED ME!! WAAAAH!!!!!" And with that, she, too, ran sobbing uncontrollably out of the building.
"I'm gonna go check up on Tessyboos," Eloisha said, getting up.
"Yeah, I'll come with," Zero said, following her out.
The two of them saw Tessyboos where they had left her--lying face-down on the ground of the tent. Eloisha and Zero looked at each other. Then they each grabbed one of Tessyboos' elbows and pulled her to her feet. They dumped her onto a chair, but she was still unconscious.
"C'mon, Theressa," Eloisha sighed. She slapped Tess gently on the cheek.
"Hey, is there such a thing as a 'gentle' slap?" Zero asked the author.
"Shut UP, Zero!!" Sawyerzelda shouted. "WHY MUST YOU ALL ALWAYS CONTRADICT ME?!" (and yes, u CAN slap ppl gently. i do it all the time)
"Sheesh," Zero muttered, rolling her eyes. "She is SUCH an over-sensitive wuss." All of a sudden, Zero went running head-first into the headboard of Zig Zag's cot. "OW!!" Then he kicked himself in the shins; fell on the floor, slapped himself across the cheek twice, and finally threw the piano bench from the last chapter at Tessyboos.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Eloisha shouted, catching the bench before it hit their cataleptic friend.
"I DON'T KNOW!!" Zero yelled back, looking at his hands in horror. "I didn't mean to go crazy like that just now, it just ... happened mysteriously!"
"That happened because I decided to make you do that," I (Sawyerzelda) said, laughing victoriously. "Being the author, I can make you do whatever you want. SO THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CALLING ME A WUSS!!"
Leaving them with that, the author stormed off in a bad mood.
"Well, that was interesting," remarked Eloisha, setting down the piano bench. "Although I wonder why she made you throw this at Tessyboos."
"Oh, she didn't do that part," Zero said. "I just wanted to wake Tess up, and I thought it might've helped."
Eloisha stared at him. "Have you gone completely, utterly mad?"
"Uh....no?"
"Urgle McFurgle," Tessyboos groaned, beginning to wake up. She rubbed her forehead. "What happened?"
"Zero just tried to kill you," Eloisha explained calmly.
"....oh. Okay." Then Tessyboos furrowed her brow and frowned. "Was it just me, or was my sister just here?"
"Well, her hologram was here," Zero answered.
"Ohhhh....right," Tessyboos muttered. "Uh, why did I pass out?"
Zero glanced at Eloisha then said, "You're moving."
"Oh yeah," Tessyboos said quietly (A/N: by the time u read this, tess, u will already b gone!! WAAAAH!!!). "That's gonna be hard to get used to...when will I be leaving Camp Green Lake?"
"I dunno," Eloisha responded. "Ask the Warden."
"Hey, Tessyboos, your sister left something here," X-Ray said, walking into the tent alongside Starfish.
"You mean, the hologram of her sister left something here," Starfish corrected him.
"Uh, yeah." X-Ray held out something to Tessyboos. "It has your name on it ..."
"My PALM PILOT!!" Tessyboos yelled, taking it from him. "Thanks, X."
"No problemo."
"Say, what can that thing do, anyway?" Eloisha asked, looking over Tessyboos as she played around with it.
"It's--"
"--strictly prohibited on school grounds," the Warden finished for her, stepping inside the tent. "Er, I mean, camp grounds. Hand over the palm pilot, Tessyboos. I'm afraid that I'll have to confiscate it."
"You can't do that," Tessyboos said. "It's mine."
"That may be so, little girl, but right now you're under my control," the Warden pointed out kindly. "So fork it over."
"I don't even belong here, you said so yourself," Tessyboos argued, taking a step back. "So technically I don't have to listen to anything you tell me."
"Hmmm, she's got a point," Starfish mumbled, tapping her chin with her finger. "But Tessyboos, if you don't even belong here, why are you still he--"
"ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT TO GET RID OF ME?!" Tessyboos sobbed. "THAT IS SO CRUEL!!"
"No, no!! That's not what I meant!" Starfish replied desperately. "It's just that I would think you'd want to--"
"I FEEL SO UNLOVED!!" Tessyboos cried.
"SAWYERZELDA!! YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME OUT TO BE MEANER THAN I REALLY AM!!" Starfish yelled at the author. "WHY ME?!"
"Because you were the only girl besides Elisha in the room who could have said something to Tess," I pointed out.
"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"
"Well, it had to be a girl that said it," I pointed out kindly. "And Eloisha had already talked to much in this scene so I thought I would give you a little more attention by giving you a line."
"It was a rude line," Tessyboos said.
"It was NOT!!" I shouted. "You see, Starfish was merely curious as to why you would possibly want to stay in this dump when you could go home."
"HEY!!" the Warden protested. "What d'you mean this place is a dump?!"
"Well, it's no Disneyland," I said, shrugging.
"Yeah, fine! I'll throw in a ferris wheel next month, now GET OUTTA HERE!" the Warden screamed.
"Yeesh! Fine, I'm outie." In a whisp of smoke, moi was gone.
"Ohhhh," Tessyboos said slowly. "So you don't want me to go, Starfish?"
"Of course not, silllly!" Starfish laughed. "I'm so desolate that you're moving."
"We all are," X-Ray said, bowing his head sadly.
"When exactly am I leaving?" Tessyboos asked the Warden curiously.
"Your family's driving by here in a few days," the Warden answered. "Then you'll be driving to Utah."
"We're DRIVING?!" Tessyboos asked incredulously. "Aw, man! That'll take a while. Especially since they're going to have to go waaaay out of their way to come pick me up in Texas."
"They should just leave you hear for a little while longer," Zero suggested.
"Uh-huh. That'd be a great idea," Tessyboos said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Of course then it would save me the trouble of having to go to a new school and everything. And a new church ..... there are gonna be so many kids there..."
"Mmm, yes, you're going to be way out there in Mormon city, aren't you?" the Warden asked.
"Well, not Mormon 'city,' exactly, because that would technically be Salt Lake City," Tessyboos said. "And I don't believe we're moving THERE. Just Utah."
"How do you KNOW you're not moving to Salt Lake?" X-Ray asked mysteriously, raising an eyebrow.
"Why do we CARE?" Zero asked rudely.
"Don't be rude!" Eloisha scolded, slapping him up-side the head.
"Ouch."
"Sorry."
"What were we talking about again?" the Warden asked.
"Um, I dunno, but that's okay because I just walked in and you can start a new conversation," Zig Zag announced, indeed walking into the tent.
"Okay," agreed Eloisha.
"Where's Hammer?" Starfish asked.
"Oh, she's outside," Zig Zag answered. "I mean, she's in the cafeteria. There's a food fight going on in there, so I thought I should come and get y'all to join in."
"Of course you say that when the Warden is standing right here," X-Ray grumbled, pointing to the woman he'd just referred to. "Nice one. Go ahead, Warden--go punish those children for causing ..... trouble ...."
"Are you kidding?!" the Warden asked. "I want in!!" She rushed out of the tent, then into the cafeteria roaring her head off.
"..............YAAAAAAH!!!!" the D-Tent kids screamed, following her as well.
"HEY, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!" the Warden screamed, as a crazed lunch man threw a large cabbage at her head. "YOU'D BETTER THINK OF YOUR JOB, MY GOOD MAN!!"
"I'M THINKING OF THE TIPS YOU NEVER GAVE ME!!!" he bellowed, laughing and dumping boiled radish-n-burger casserole over the Warden's head.
"EWWWW!!" she spat, as some of it dripped inside her mouth. "This stuff is DISGUSTING!!"
"You see what we have to live with?!" Dude asked, holding a tray in front of her face to block a carton of orange juice that Armpit had just thrown. "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT ONE, THEODORE!!" she yelled, taking a glob of mashed potatoes (for breakfast?) and splattering him with it. "MUA HA HA HAA!"
"How did this whole thing get started, anyway?" Zig Zag asked Hammer.
"Well, as most fights usually are, Dude started it," Hammer responded. "And, as usual, Armpit triggered it."
"Oi. What'd he do this time?" Zig Zag sighed, picking up a mushy apple and tossing it at Tessyboos.
"Erm, he insulted Tom Felton," Hammer said. "I mean, I think that's his name."
"Who's Tom Felton?" Zig Zag asked.
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS?!" DUDE SHOUTED, ANGRILY DUMPING A VAT OF BARBECUE SAUCE OVER ZIG ZAG'S HEAD. "HE PLAYS MALFOY IN THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES!!!!!!"
"Ohhhhhhhhh," Zig Zag .... ohhhhhhed. "So I imagine that ticked her off."
"Chya," Hammer said, ducking to avoid a loaf of bread. "So she took her bowl of cereal and splashed it on him. But Armpit had been too distracted with his cooked carrots to notice who'd committed the felony. So he automatically accused St. No-No." Hammer jabbed her thumb in the corner.
Zig Zag looked where Hammer was pointing, and saw St. No-No sitting quietly in the corner with a book propped up on her lap; apparently oblivious to the terrible fight going on around her (even though she was covered with everything from banana peels to chocolate pudding).
"He accused St. No-No?"
"Yup. So when she continued to ignore him, he threw a waffle at her. However, he missed and ended up hitting Ukulele Peanut, so..." Hammer sighed. "That's when the mayhem started."
"Mm..."
Ukulele Peanut picked up a ketchup bottle and squirted it mercilessly at Squid (who had been salting Eloisha). "BUA HA HA HAAAAA!!!"
"Did somebody give her sugar?!" Starfish asked. "Peanut's been acting so out of character lately--it's not like her laugh evilly like that."
"Um, I threw a package of sugar at her," Tessyboos said. "Was ... that bad?"
"Oh yes," Eloisha sighed, wiping grease off of her glasses. "But I guess I'll have to forgive you, since you're leaving so soon."
"Thank you."
"No problem."
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A/N: WAAAAH, SOOOOO SAD!!! (tess, next sunday is KrYsTaL and lIsEtTe'S last one!! then they go off 2 college & morgan's mad at me b/c i'm not going 2 girl's camp this yr--i'll b in philly). neway, plz review, everyone!! (anyone)
