Chapter XV: Happy War-mongering
"So how did things go in the south?" the wizard asked.
Mordae and Celebdraug looked to one another. The older of the two gestured to the younger, who rolled her eyes.
"Not well," she said. "We took back a lot of land from the Drow that they had taken, but as soon as we would leave, either they or the Fellowship would occupy it again. We tried our best to get to Mornië, but their capitol is so far south...There is no way we could have made it."
Gandalf sighed, "I feared that."
"Though," Mordae added, "We ran into a massive army of Drow, orcs, wolf-thingys, and freaky-flying-fanged-guys with knives and lisps."
"Lychens and vampires," Gandalf corrected.
"Who-whats and vampires?" Celebdraug exclaimed, sitting up straighter.
"Lychens. Werewolves from the north," the wizard explained, "And yes, vampires."
"I thought we killed all those things!" Mordae said in exasperation.
"As did we," Gandalf said. "I have very bad news. While you were gone, as you might have gathered, the alliance of the men broke. Eldarion is now in charge of Gondor, which he has named Belgor, and a man named Lèofa is in charge of Rohan, which is now Isen Meares
"Actually," Mordae interrupted sheepishly, "Lèofa is currently in charge of absolutely nothing. A Drow assassin killed him. We were there."
Gandalf raised his eyebrows, "Ill news indeed. It fits perfectly with mine. Lorien is the only stronghold of good left on Middle Earth."
"What?" the elves cried in unison.
"The north and west have fallen to the vampires. The northeast has fallen to the vampires. The southeast, orcs; and the south, Drow."
"But...but...how?" the elves sputtered in amazement.
"Maneva Mornië has made himself an army he calls the Remnant; a coalition of the Drow, orc, vampire, and lychen races. Their goal so far seems simple, world domination."
"That's a new one," Mordae spat bitterly.
"He seems to be doing a pretty good job," Celebdraug added.
"Indeed. I wish you could have slain that Mornaur'tury1," Gandalf muttered.
"Wait. He's a fire mage?" Celebdraug asked.
Gandalf nodded.
"Tall? Dark skin? Evil laugh?" she continued.
Again, Gandalf nodded.
"Damn it!" Celebdraug shrieked.
The wizard raised an eyebrow.
"We ran into him in New Edoras," Mordae explained. "I told her I recognized him, but she didn't believe me. He got away."
Celebdraug stuck her tongue out at her cousin, who responded to the immature action by sticking his own out.
Gandalf held his head in his hands.
"Sorry," the elves said together.
"It is just as well," Gandalf sighed. "I have been studying ancient manuscripts. I fear even you may not have the strength to fell him."
"Listen to me," Mordae hissed, "If a filthy hobbit can kill Sauron, we can kill a dirty lantioer2."
"Speaking of the hobbits," Celebdraug piped up, "You say the west has fallen? Does that mean..."
Gandalf nodded sadly.
Mordae and Celebdraug cheered. "No more stinking hobbits, no more stinking hobbits!"
"SILENCE!" Gandalf thundered.
The elves ceased their chanting immediately.
Gandalf took a deep breath to gather himself, then, continued. "When Sauron forged the One Ring, he also made an object the Drow call the Night Crystal. This crystal has the power, if wielded properly, to draw the power from the various rings, bestowing a power rivaling that of the One Ring upon its owner. I suspect that Mornië would give everything to acquire this item."
"Not good," Celebdraug murmured quietly.
"Not good at all," Gandalf agreed.
"Do you know where it is?" Mordae asked the wizard intently.
"I have not a clue, unfortunately," Gandalf replied, "But I do know one other piece of information. To forge the final ring, Mornië must first obtain all of the others."
His glance fell to the elves' hands, on which rested two of the three elven-rings.
"Cirdan's ring, if I am correct, lies still upon Eldarion's finger.," Gandalf said. "Now, Mornië could possibly forge a ring without your two, but I believe he will wait until he has obtained them as well before continuing."
"He's going to wait a long time, then," Celebdraug growled.
"Do not underestimate his powers," the wizard warned. " Mornië has already collected the nine rings of the men, and five of the dwarf rings as well as the one from Cirdan. The final two dwarf rings lie in Moria, which is long abandoned, and Kazad-ûm, which is the final stronghold of the dwarves."
"Which is where we come in?" Mordae questioned, though it sounded more like a statement than an inquiry.
"Exactly," the wizard replied.
"So we're supposed to walk in and ask politely for the rings. Prepare the dwarves to defend themselves?" Celebdraug asked incredulously.
"Hardly," Gandalf replied, "And you know that. I need you, nay, Middle Earth needs you to get those rings at all costs."
"Deadly force authorized?" Mordae's voice contained a hopeful tone.
"As if you need authorization," Gandalf answered with a slight smile.
Celebdraug smiled nostalgically, "I can't remember the last time I whacked off one of those midgets' heads."
"First of all," Gandalf interrupted hastily, "Yes you can; you're an elf, if you've forgotten, which you can't. Second of all, I am not authorizing you to commit genocide. Yes, you can remove any who stand in your way, but no unnecessary killings will take place. Understood?"
The elves sighed. "Yes, sir," they answered resignedly.
"Good. I want you to leave tomorrow," Gandalf said.
"Oh, but of course," Celebdraug growled sarcastically. "Can't have us at home for longer than a day. Too much trouble, aren't we?"
Gandalf smiled, "You can ski the Misty Mountains to get to Moria."
Both Celebdraug and Mordae brightened at this prospect.
"Alright, then," Mordae cried cheerily. "We leave first thing in the morning. Nidanostre3, Gandalf." The elf patted the wizard on the shoulder as he hurried from the room.
"We should sleep, Celebdraug! Big day tomorrow!" he called over his shoulder.
Celebdraug nodded and leaped up, "Nidanostre, Gandy!"
She hugged the old wizard, and then hurried down the hall to her bedroom.
Gandalf stood alone in the crystal room, gazing up at the stars.
"What exactly did I do to deserve these two, Illúvatar?"
Celebdraug's door burst open, "I heard that!"
Gandalf smiled as she slammed her door shut.
'Elves,' he thought to himself.
1 Dark-fire wielder
2 Fallen one, Light Elf name for Dark Elves
3 Goodnight.
