Behind Blue Eyes
Part of the
Squall/Seifer "Always" saga
Rating: R
Fandom: Final Fantasy
VIII
Pairings: Squall/Seifer
Warnings: Explicit language,
bloodshed, implied slash
Dedications: To Clo and Merc who DROVE ME
TO IT.
Notes: Largely inspired by the Cowboy Bebop Episode "Ballad of Fallen Angels"
Note to self: When Seifer makes challenges, he goes all out.
And fuck me for not thinking of that sooner.
Squall tried to suppress those thoughts as he brought his gunblade up to block Seifer's slash. But try as he might, he couldn't figure out what the hell had driven him to agree to this damn fight today of all days.
Cold blue anger flashed through his eyes at the other boy. That last blow had knocked him back a few steps when he blocked it. Seifer charged again, raising Hyperion for a downward slash. Squall raised his blade in a crossblock, the impact barely registering. After awhile you stop noticing the feeling of the impact, just like after awhile you stop noticing any feeling in your own body.
It was easier that way. If anyone knew that it was Squall Leonhart.
Seifer grunted as he attacked again and was once more deflected. He stepped back a few steps, and in a half laugh and half grunt asked "What's wrong, Leonhart? Don't have the balls to attack me?"
Squall charged the other boy. He slashed at Seifer, but once again it was proving to be a stalemate. Both boys knew the other's fighting style too well, both knew what the other was planning. It was almost as if they knew what the other was going to do before the other even did it.
Maybe knowing that is my advantage... Squall pondered.
He was interrupted by Seifer's laughter. "This is going nowhere fast," he observed. "Let's face it, Leonhart, we're too alike for this to ever reach an ending."
Squall swung at the other boy. "I'm not like you."
"Oh, but you are," Seifer replied as he parried. "You're exactly like me. Only not as good looking."
"You don't know what I am," Squall attacked again, but he knew his weariness was showing.
"I know I recognize that look in those eyes of yours. The one you try to keep anyone from seeing. Yes Squall. That look. I know it because I get it too. Or hadn't you noticed?"
"I'm nothing like you," Squall insisted again.
"You're exactly like me. Tell me you don't get that same feeling every time you hoist that blade of yours. Tell me you don't get the same rush when you finally see whatever you're fighting crumple to the ground. Tell me that and I'll know you're lying."
Squall felt the fury that matched his name rising in himself, but suppressed it. Getting too angry would mean making a mistake, and with live steel you couldn't afford too many mistakes.
"Still silent, eh?" Seifer smirked. "You see Squall, the truth is that we're alike because the same blood drives us. Drives our loves, our hates, our desires..."
Before Seifer could finish, Squall had charged at him again. He struck out, trying to catch Seifer off guard...
...but Seifer was the one with the real surprise.
Squall felt the fire spell hit him full in the stomach. He grit his teeth against the pain, figuring one more scar wouldn't do him any great harm. He crumpled backwards, distracted, forgetting that he was still in a fight and needed to block.
Before he could raise his blade, Seifer was slashing at his face.
Squall could feel the sting of the cut on his face and it brought him back to reality. Seifer was standing above him. He looked pleased with himself, proud of his artwork. "Yeah, that's the blood I was talking about...." he mused.
Now there was no suppressing the fury. Blue fire burned where blue ice had been moments before.
Squall lashed out at Seifer, no longer concerned for the safety of his partner. For a split second he was shocked that he had ever been that concerned for Seifer's safety. But what shocked him more was that he was protecting Seifer without realizing what he had been doing. He had been pulling hits through the whole fight, avoiding striking where he would mare the other man's flesh. He had been avoiding cutting Seifer and avoiding blows which were sure kills.
But that was over in an instant as his blade flashed and suddenly Seifer's face was left with a bloody trail on it as well.
Squall reached up and wiped blood out of his once more cold eyes. He looked at the wet redness on his jacket sleeve, then looked at Seifer's bloody face. "I don't see the similarities."
Seifer grit his teeth in anger. "You little son of a bitch..." he growled.
"You just proved my point."
Squall was taken aback for a second. Then, he felt the dizziness of having lost too much blood, having endured more than a body should ever have to. This needed to end.
One of us has to die because...
Squall was suddenly scared. He was terrified to finish that thought. Finishing it meant that everything would change. It would mean he'd have to live with that knowledge until the day he died.
Luckily he was cut off by the yelling.
"Seifer! Squall!" An angry looking blonde woman ran towards the two boys. "What the hell is going on here?"
Seifer was still laughing. "Lover's quarrel, Instructor Trepe."
"Very funny Seifer," Quistis Trepe glared over her spectacles. "I'm guessing I'd be right in assuming you started this?"
"Just a little practice," Seifer assured her, his hand over the cut on his face as he tried to stop the bleeding. "Big exam today, right?"
But Quistis had already turned her attention to Squall. "Are you all right, Squall?" She asked. She reached up to push a bit of the dark hair out of the still bleeding cut on the younger boy's face. "You two look like you were trying to kill each other."
Because we were. Because one of us has to die because we belong together.
Quistis watched as Squall crumpled to the ground, unconscious.
