Revelations In White Light
Author: Anime Ronin
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Challenge/Story Idea from SwordofChiyun that involves Xander getting kicked out of Scoobies after Graduation and revelations of his real father and shades of his mother's family's past.
Crossover: Yes, with Charmed and some hints of Hercules.
AN: This will be a longer part than the past few.AN2: Angel canon will be shot to hell and back in this chapter – have fun.
Chapter 7: Actors, Demi-gods and Vampires, Oh My!{LA – Hyperion Hotel, 10 seconds after last chapter}
Cordelia Chase, once she picked up her jaw from the ground at the statement that the being in front of her little group of friends, colleagues and co-workers had made and spoke, "Demi-god? You? Yeah, right."
Alexander 'Xander' Harris, her former boyfriend and constant verbal sparring partner throughout most of Junior and High schools, smiled at her and vanished in a sparkle of golden lights, only to reappear between herself and Angel, her boss and friend, "Yeah, I am, but only for about the past three months." He gave her a winning smile and then turned, only to level Angel with a hard left hook that sent the souled vampire sliding across the marble-tiled room and crashing into the far wall, "Stop checking my neck, overbite."
"I say, Mister Harris, that was not called for." Wesley Wyndam Price, former Watcher and current PI, chastised Xander, who merely arched an eyebrow in their general direction.
"Says you, Wussley – he's got that and a hell of a lot more coming to him over the next few months."
"Hey, he may be a vampire, but he's doing good, now." Cordy knew there was no love lost between Kate and Angel, but she also knew that deep down the ex-cop liked the vampire.
"Doing good won't bring back all those people Angelus killed – trust me, I got to meet every single one of them from both times around." Cordy held her gasp in at the icy tone of voice that she heard Xander use – she had heard it once before and had prayed she never heard it again, "None of them ever got justice, even after his little stint in Hell, and every ounce of pain he feels makes them all feel just that much better about where they ended up."
"Whoa, those are some seriously negative vibes you got there, sweet cheeks. Your karma can't be doing too good."
"Yeah, like Lorne says, lay off the boss before we pop you one." Gunn, Cordy knew, was trying to compensate for what had happened a few months before at Caritas, all of those demons being slaughtered and all, but she also felt she needed to step in.
"Gunn, not now – even before Xander's apparent status upgrade, he could take you in hand to hand." Angel, unfortunately, beat her to it, "Hell, he was the most vicious guy back in Sunnydale I ever met, myself included."
"Only when I had to be, Captain Hairgel." Cordy winced at the name, as nobody but Lorne really called him anything other than Angel or Boss.
"So, why are you here, Xander? Aside to annoy me, that is?"
"I was told to stay out of Sunnydale until August by my bosses, something about some major shit hitting the fan and I'd unbalance the scales too much, so they put me here for the time being."
Angel nodded but Cordelia was in the dark as he went off on another train of thought, "A demi-god, huh? Roman?"
"Yes, and Greek."
Angel nodded, "Patron god?"
"Yeah, of snipers, of all things – still, it could have been worse." Xander walked over and sat on the edge of the desk, crossing one booted foot over the other and allowing Cordy to take in the rest of his outfit – snug black jeans, a black shirt that fit him like a second skin, bands of black metal around his wrists, a black belt and there was a black leather jacket over his shoulders.
"Geez, who dressed you?"
"Discord, actually, with some help from Strife and Aphrodite – you know, the show really gives her a bad rap, as she's actually not all that bad. A little on the meddlesome side of things, and her clothes aren't slutty."
"Aphrodite?"
"Discord. Aphrodite they got right on the mark, well, they almost got it as there were parts of her wardrobe they couldn't get past television censors."
Gunn apparently perked up at this, "Really? Like what?"
Xander only grinned and Cordy fought down a groan, "Sorry, but that's between me and her."
"Scoring with a goddess? You go, white bread."
Xander only snorted again, "No, I did not 'score' with Aphrodite, though the offer is still on the table, according to her – my little part of Olympus is next to hers and it's an unobstructed view." Gunn walked over and slapped Xander on the shoulder, calling him a magnificent son of a bitch, while Cordy felt a tap on her shoulder, looked over and saw Kate.
"Is this for real?"
"Xander's from the Hellmouth – never discount anything."
"But how would he become a demi-god? I mean was he born one?"
"Probably not – Tony Harris was the town drunk and Jessica, well, nobody knew much about her at all, but divine she was not."
"Neither of my parents were, Cordy. Tony wasn't even my father." Xander walked over and smiled sadly, "Mom was friends with a witch a while back and her Whitelighter and she got friendly – nine months, three minutes later, and there I was."
"So you're half human, half White-whatsit?"
"Yes, I was, and it's Whitelighter, which is basically a Guardian Angel. I was trained as one, became one and then had my title stripped from me after I used deadly force to protect my charge – I worked as a free agent between Pantheons and the Elders and almost killed on my last mission. Ares gave me the last of the Ambrosia and, well, here I am."
Cordy nodded while Kate looked floored, "What about Jessica and Tony?"
"Mom's the new High Priestess of Ares by rite of blood, her father was the last High Priest, and Tony died of Liver Cancer about six months ago."
"Is he in hell?" Cordelia instantly regretted her question as Xander's face went black as a thundercloud and he snarled, "Alright, don't answer, I get the gist of it. So, what are you going to be doing around here? Filing? Footwork?"
He shrugged, "Staying out of trouble, mostly – if you guys need help, just ask, but not with any miracles, okay? I don't do those for anyone outside of snipers."
Kate huffed, "And where are you going to be sleeping?"
"I don't need to sleep, technically, but if I did, I'd do it on Olympus. Don't worry, my stuff's just stored here until I finish redecorating up there."
Her ears perked up, "Redecorating? Oh, what style? New-age chic? Modern bachelor? God, please tell me you're not going Spartan." Xander and Kate only sighed.
{Later}
"So what do you think, Angel? Should we trust him?"
Angel looked at Wesley, who was still smarting about the 'Wussley' tag that Xander had used ad nodded, "I can feel the energies pouring out of him like water out of Lake Mead, Wes – he's on the level."
Gunn nodded, "No doubt, boy's got a pair of brass ones one him – took C over an hour to get anything out of him on what's going to be 'in' next season and we all know how she gets when she has to wait." Angel and Wesley shuddered at that, "Still, I saw some of the hardware boy's bring in too and even if it isn't top of the line, it's in good shape."
Angel had seen the vast array of knives, swords and annex Xander had unpacked from several long storage boxes he'd teleported in and while Angel himself couldn't hold them, due to the fact that gods had used or held them and power had leaked over, burning his hands, and he really wanted to get his hands on the sword in Xander's jacket, "Yeah, they are."
"So are you going to let him work here?"
Angel shrugged, "He said he'd work on the cheap, which is good, and he'd also help out with Fred, if he could."
Wes nodded and Gunn grunted, "Yes, though she seems to want to justify Taco Bell's opening for the century with as much as she talks about them."
"Yeah, girl has some seriously crazy cravings, man." The sound of Fred squealing and someone getting leveled to the ground, hard, cut anything else that would have been said off. The three of them ran to the door and looked into the foyer to see Fred on top of Xander, hugging the life out of him while babbling her thanks, a bag with the Taco Bell insignia on it on the ground not far away and contents spilled to the ground.
It took Kate and Cordy several minutes to get Fred off of Xander and Lorne and Gunn another few moments to get Xander to stand on his own feet and keep Fred away from the supposed Mexican food, which had her snarling slightly and threatening dismemberment to Gunn, who was backing away from her – all in all, Angel found the entire scene quite humorous as Xander snuck behind Gunn, grabbed the bag and tossed a bean burrito at Fred, which she caught in mid air and was tearing into by the time her dainty feet hit the floor.
"I find this seriously disturbing, Angel." He looked over from Fred, who was doing a credible impression of the Tasmanian Devil, one of Angel's favored cartoon characters, on the burrito to Wes, who looked more than a little green at the display. "Are we sure all of her ... mental faculties ... are there?"
"She's survived for several years in a hell dimension, Wes – give her some time to recover. This could just be a phase."
{Next morning}
"Phase my ass," Xander grumbled as he stuck his head out of the door of the room he had been given to check for Fred, who had ambushed any and everyone who was suspected to have Taco Bell on them and were subject to nearly being strip-searched – while Gunn didn't seem to mind all that much, Xander quite liked his clothes where they were.
"It's clear." Kate Lockley smiled at him, now in better humor that she had been able to get some sleep, a shower, some fresh clothes and some coffee, and motioned him over, "She went to sleep a few hours ago."
"I'm just glad I didn't get her one of everything and enchant the bag to refill whenever it was emptied."
Kate cocked an eyebrow at him, "You can do that?"
"Apparently – I'm kind of new at this, so it might or might not work." He caught her looking longingly at the coffee machine and he sighed, "No, I won't endanger our coffee maker just for the sake of trial and error." Cordy had given him the low down on what had been going on for the past few months in LA and how each member of the team had come to be with them – Kate was the first, with Gunn not too far behind, to join Angel Investigations after the death of Doyle and Wes' introduction. "So, how are you this morning?"
She took a sip of her coffee and shrugged, "Felt nice to sleep on a bed and not the ground and I'll never take showers for granted again." They shared a chuckle and he went to grab himself a cup of coffee, "So, what about you? What are you going to do today?"
"General overview of the city, try and get to know it a little, and then I'm going to Olympus to check to see if there's anything here in town I need to be worried about."
Kate looked at him curiously, "What's it like up there?"
"Depending on what part you're in, it's not too bad – every god and goddess has their favorite spots to be, so there is a variety. I have a glade area with some trees and some rocks, but it's nice enough."
Kate nodded, "What about right now?"
"Daily dozen – care to join me?" She grinned at him and they went through a morning workout in the basement over the next two hours, a little slower than he normally did things, but then again he altered the gravity and air pressure around him so that he could actually feel himself being pushed to his limits while Kate worked as well as she could. Gunn came down to work on the free weights Angel had put down there, looking at them oddly as they worked out, but not joining them, but spoke up as they finished their cool downs.
"So, why are you here, man? I mean, of all the places you could go, why here?"
"Because I was assigned here by my former boss and my god by blood – the why's and how's are not important enough for them to tell me, but I get the impression that something big is going to go down in the near future and they are hedging their bets."
"Your god?"
"Ares – my family was connected to him by one of his old generals, which is why he took an interest in me. When he gave me ambrosia to save my life, well, I owe him a big one, now." Xander began to towel off and tossed Kate one, who followed his lead, "I guess, technically, he is my half-brother now, but until I pay him back, I owe him."
Gunn nodded and followed them up to the lobby, where Cordelia and Wes were in a spirited debated over the evils of coffee and the benefits of tea – a look at Kate told him that it was a normal occurrence, so he let it go and went to grab a cup of the stuff for himself.
"See? Xander likes coffee!" He sighed again – he may want to annoy Deadboy, but being annoyed by being brought into Cordy's little crusade, well, it was annoying.
{Later that day}
Xander looked around his glade and sighed contently – he'd managed to keep Cordy out of his area, thus keeping it in line with what HE wanted, and while it wasn't the Ritz, it was good enough for him.
"Hey, cookie!" He looked over and saw both Aphrodite and Discord walking towards him, like mismatched salt and pepper shakers, and smiled as they each took up residency on one of the divans that he had conjured up, "Nice place."
"Thanks, Aphrodite." He walked over and sat in his own chair, which was an old leather smoking chair, and propped his feet up on a rock, "What's up?"
Discord smiled prettily and he knew something was indeed up, "Oh, not much, just wondering what you plan to do for the rest of the afternoon. You see, we, and a few others, need some help with a few decisions and none of the guys up here will give us an unbiased opinion."
Xander was nobody's fool – he knew a setup when he smelled one, "If you think I'm getting mired in your little beauty pageant, you're crazier than I am ... and that's saying something." Both goddesses pouted and turned on the puppy-dog eyes, which he winced at due to their godly beauty on top of the 'pure innocence' they extruded, but somehow held firm, "No, I saw that episode with just Artemis, Athena and you, Aphrodite, remember?"
Aphrodite sulked in her seat for a moment before sighing, "I never should have agreed to be part of that show – now NOBODY will ever tell us who has the best butt."
He perked up at this, "Best backside? You're all goddesses – how can anyone have a better backside than one another?" His mind drifted for a second and then he smiled, "Hold on, I'll get you a judge."
{Hyperion Hotel}
"Gunn!" He orbed into the lobby and smiled at the black young man, "I need a judge for a beauty contest – look, but don't touch. In or out?"
"Didn't you just get back from Olympus?"
"Yeah."
Gunn grinned at him, "In."
{Next morning}
"Give me a reason I shouldn't kill you, man."
Kate looked up to see Gunn walking into the office, slowly and wincing with every step, and looked over at Xander, who was nursing some coffee and reading the newspaper, grinning from ear to ear. "What'd you do to him, Xander?"
"I asked him a question and he gave me an answer – it's that simple."
"Simple? I thought it was a beauty contest!"
"And it was ... so to speak." Xander, Kate saw, had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he put down his part of the paper and drank the rest of his coffee, "That aside, I hope you've learned your lesson – beware Greeks bearing gifts of an unknown nature."
"I should kill you for getting me into this – they won't leave me alone!"
"Why do you think I gave it to you? You asked me if I scored with a goddess, well, depending on whom you choose or do not choose, you might get that chance."
Kate sighed, "Did you do what I think you did? I saw that episode, you know, and it's a no-win situation."
"Ain't I a stinker?" Xander grinned at her even as the doors to the hotel opened and several people walked in, "Who're they?"
Kate growled slightly even as Gunn got up, "Wolfram and Hart lawyers."
"Is Angel in? Of course he's in, it's light out." Lilah Morgan sneered at Kate and for an instant Kate found herself wanting to take the lawyer's head off with an axe, "Wolfram and Hart wants to buy this ... quaint establishment, and we need his permission to look around."
"And if the boss won't let ya?"
"Then we get a court injunction, Mister Gunn. Your employer has only leased this place, so that gives us some legal ground to stand upon."
"No, it doesn't." Xander stepped up and was grinning as he produced something from his back pocket, "I was going to wait to spring this on Deadboy, but as it's pertinent now, this is the bill of sale for this building, property and all, and it's in his name." He handed it over to the lawyer and Kate felt her jaw drop slightly, "He owns it free and clear now, Miss?"
"Lilah Morgan, Mister?"
"Alexander will suffice." Kate didn't miss the cool tone in his voice as he took the deed back, "Tell Mister Wolfram and his business associate that I'm going to be keeping an eye on this place for the next few months and that if anything ... let's just call it unfortunate, like arson, B&E, a localized earthquake, or anything of the sort, should happen, I will be visiting them and believe me when I say that the conversation that we'll be having will not be one they'll survive."
"And who are you to threaten our employers?"
It happened in a flash, literally – Xander stood up straighter and began to glow an eerily powerful light that seemed ... perfect, his clothes, which had been jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers, morphed into leather pants, a leather vest that was studded with silver, a belt and a sword at his side as he stepped forwards, "Allow me to fully introduce myself – Alexander, patron god of Snipers, Greek Pantheon. Now, leave here or suffer." His tone was icy and filled the promise of pure agony if ignored even as Cordelia entered the lobby from the street.
"Uh, what's going on here?"
"Cordy, get out of the way, girl – I think X-man is about to paste the lawyers." Gunn's grin was purely savage as he stepped back and Kate found herself joining him.
"I shall do nothing of the sort, Gunn, not this time." Xander reverted his clothing to what it had been, save now he kept the sword at his side, and smiled chillingly at the group of lawyers, whom, Kate was pleased to see, looked more than a little worried, "This time I need them as messengers. If there is a next time, they'll be the message." He waved a hand and all four lawyers vanished in a sparkle of lights and not with a whisper of sound.
"Where'd you put them down?"
"Oh, trust me, Kate, they are not enjoying themselves right now." From the grin on his face, Kate found herself believing him.
{Unknown desert}
Lilah looked down at her companions, who had not made the trip standing up, and sighed as she reached into her briefcase and pulled out her cell phone, which, thankfully, had a signal, and dialed. "This is Lilah Morgan, I need a pick up at my location and inform the Partners that there is a new player on the field, and he's not on our team."
{Hyperion Hotel}
"So it's really Angel's?" He looked over at Kate and smiled as she looked at the deed, obviously trying to see if it was or was not a fake.
"Yeah, as much as Captain Forehead and I may not like each other, he's fighting the good fight and he needs as few distractions as he can get." Xander leaned back on the column he's taken up residency by and yawned, "Still, that's not to say that I won't take a shot at him every now and then – need to keep him on his toes and all."
"I'll keep that in mind, Xander." He looked over and saw Angel standing in his doorway, dressed as if he'd just woken up, which he probably had, and walked over to look at the deed, "Where'd you send them?"
"The Mojave, I think. I'd have gone for the Sahara, but then I'd have to deal with the Egyptian Pantheon and most of them are real pricks who can't take a joke." Sure, Anubis wasn't a bad guy, a little harsh sometimes, but then again, death was the ultimate fairness – rich, poor, famous, unknown, healthy, ill, all were equal in death, but Ra and Osiris both had ego problems that needed to be checked at the door. Isis, on the other hand, was Osiris' wife and she was fully hot.
"You chat with gods from other pantheons, just like that?" Cordelia looked at him and he shrugged.
"Some, but for the most part, no – I worked for Anubis once, and one of the Norse goddesses once too, but that was it, nothing spectacular. So, what's on today's agenda, Lord Hair-gel?"
"Are you ever going to stop calling him names?"
"Never, Kate – it was one of the few things I had back then and I'll never let it go. Just be thankful you don't have to listen to the higher ups call him things – it's make your hair turn white and curl even more than it is right now." She shot him a scowl, as her hair was looking like a Slinky had been attached to her scalp, lots of them, and then he looked back at Angel, "So?"
"Well, I just got conformation last night that Drusilla's in town – everyone be on your guard, you especially, Xander."
"Him?"
"Drusilla's always had a thing for him, something about him being her 'Kitten' after a botched love spell back in Sunnydale."
"Something Aphrodite will NEVER let me live down – I swear, you make ONE mistake and it haunts you for eternity."
"She's the reason you're still alive, remember, Xander? She kept me from killing you."
"Keep telling yourself that, Sir Gels-a-lot, I had you right where I wanted you." That was an out-and-out lie – Angelus had, back then, had him dead to rights that night when Dru had saved him.
"Sure you did, Xander. Anyways, be careful – you and Kate are going to be staking out a –"
"Vampire?" He smiled as the souled vampire groaned.
"No, a location that has been known for demonic drug dealers. Do not engage the demons – this is recon only." Angel stared directly at him, as if to get the point across.
"Fine! No fun for the blonde babe and me – got ya." He looked at Kate and smiled, "So, your car or mine?"
{East LA – noon-ish}
Kate found herself slowly liking Xander more and more with every passing second – on the outside he was an annoyingly sweet and smart-assed guy, like every other guy just out of high school and with no particular place to go in life, but under that, like with the deal with the lawyers, there was a solid core of pure power and ... something that she couldn't put a name to that told her that the smart-ass and sweetie was just a mask, only part of the total picture. It didn't hurt that he wasn't hard on the eyes, but even Kate knew that he was just trying to fit in and keep busy, that he was worried sick over what was going on in Sunnydale.
"Possible contact." The voice in her ear was Xander's but he wasn't in her car, which was parked down the street from the brownstone building that was the suspected drug depot/dealer hideout. Xander was actually somewhere in the area, with what looked like a sniper rife, a scope and a tactical radio, which she had the other end of, "Trio of Latino males, last one has a little something extra under his shirt, make it a .45 or there about."
"Copy that." Kate checked through the binoculars that she'd brought along and saw that, indeed, the trio of young men had approached the building, but only one was armed, "Is it just me or does this seem like a set up? Only humans have showed up so far."
"That's because we're only looking aboveground, Kate – I expect there are sewer accesses to the place that we can't see." He had told her beforehand that he would not be using his powers more than he absolutely had to, so it was a possibility that he was right and that he was wrong, "Two exiting, Asian males, same ones from before but their pockets are bulging."
Kate looked again and nodded, "I bet you can count the number of hairs I missed when I did my roots the other night, can't you."
"Fifteen, all in one clump near the back of your head." She scowled, knowing he was messing with her, but absently she checked the mirror and saw nothing. Shaking her head, she raised her binoculars again and went back to looking.
{Hyperion Hotel, that evening}
Gunn looked at Kate as she and Xander came in and instantly knew that she was at her wit's end about something, "Hey, 5-0, you alright?" Kate shot him a glare and Xander made a cutting motion over his neck, telling them to drop it until she was out of the room. She dropped her report/notes on Wes' desk and then stormed off upstairs, Xander taking a seat and sighing, "What up, X?"
"She saw something today that really upset her, Gunn, upset me, too." Xander reached into English's desk and pulled out a single malt scotch, poured a shot and drank it straight, "15 year old girl went into the place and we could see the track marks up her arm – we were close enough to hear her screams, Gunn, and Kate told me to not take the shot."
Gunn felt his stomach tighten as Angel entered the room, Fred not far behind him, English following her, "Why didn't you?"
"We were told not to engage, remember? I had a clear shot at that son of a bitch, too."
"What happened, Xander?"
"Ask Gunn, Kate and I are going to go get blitzed." X walked out of the office and up the stairs to Kate's room, opening the door and Gunn could hear the loud rock music playing a sure sign that she was hurting, and then closed the door behind him.
Gunn looked up and then at Fred, who was looking at Angel like an adoring puppy or something, before looking at Angel, "Don't expect Kate to be too talkative, boss."
"We heard, Gunn – Angel was just offering Xander an out, as it were." Wesley Wyndam-Price was a lot of things to Gunn, but one of them was surprisingly human, given his admittedly snobbish background. "I know that Xander will help Kate, though – it's what he does."
"Yeah, but I know if he really wanted to shoot, Kate couldn't have stopped him." Gunn looked over at Angel, who had taken the edge of a desk, "Trust me, he's so mad right now I'm not going near him – he'll dust me and not think twice about it."
"But he's your friend, right?" Fred spoke haltingly and then looked down in embarrassment as all heads turned towards her. Gunn found himself oddly drawn to the woman, despite the fact that she had more brains in her pinky than he knew what to do with.
"No, he's not my friend – never has been, never will be because neither of us will allow it."
That struck Gunn as weird – X had made friends with Kate, Lorne and Fred easily enough and while he was fairly civil to both English and the boss, he knew that the demi-god wasn't going to go out of his way to be friendly, "Why's that, boss?"
"Because he's doing his best to prove himself wrong – he sees me as nothing more than a vampire, soul or not, and he believes with every ounce of his being that I'm going to screw up and send the world to hell, given how close I came to doing it last time. A lot has happened since then and he's growing up, but then again, so am I."
"So when he calms down he won't dust you?"
Wesley snorted this time, "Mister Harris would dust Angel regardless of his mood or Angel's accomplishments and not lose any sleep over it – I never understood it at the time, but Xander's view of the world, while simplistic, was possibly the clearest of all of ours back in Sunnydale. If it's evil, destroy it."
"That's an understatement, Wes," Angel said with a snort of his own, making Gunn look over and feel like he was in a tennis match. "Back in his sophomore year of high school, when he had no training or anything, he forced me into taking him to the Master's Lair at stake-point after telling me that at the end of the day, I was a vampire and that he wanted me to prove Buffy right in thinking that I was a person and not a corpse."
"Harsh, man, but that's not an answer – why isn't he your friend, vampire thing aside? He told us about the werewolf he was cool with, even a few demons he was okay with, too."
"Because when I never really paid for my crimes as Angelus, when Buffy released me. Sure, a century in a hell dimension, but for Xander, that will never be enough." Gunn and everybody had been told just who the boss had been and would become again if he lost his soul, and it scared Gunn more than he wanted to admit that a kid without any powers had stood the big bad wolf down.
"Then why do you trust him?"
Gunn looked at Fred again and saw some new strength in her body and heard it in her voice as Angel began to speak, "Because he's capable of doing whatever needs to be done without letting his emotions get in the way, Fred – if any of us needed to be taken care of, permanently, he'd do it so nobody else had to be burdened with it, and that was before his upgrade."
Fred's nose wrinkled a little, "He doesn't sound like such a nice guy now, actually."
Gunn shrugged, "Nice enough, Fred – I got to judge a Greek goddess booty contest and yeah, he punked me a little without telling me, but it all worked out. He's in there with Kate, helping her, and even he and Princess C can be in the same room and not kill each other."
Wes snorted again, "Trust me, they're saving up for a good occasion, Gunn – I watched them leave the library one day arguing and came back the next morning as if no time had passed at all, picking up right where they left off. I'm not sure what she ever saw in him, but Cordelia is a good judge of character." Wes looked around again and frowned, "Speaking of whom, where is Cordelia?"
"Photo-shoot, something about getting into a magazine or something important," Gunn said with a flip tone. "She'll be all night, apparently it's a nighttime cityscape shoot." He thought back for a second and asked, "Then why are you and X not friends, English?"
"Cordelia is the reason – she was a Senior and I fell in love with her on sight, Gunn. I wasn't sure how she fell for a buffoon like Mister Harris and I asked him that question to his face – he told me in no uncertain terms to stay away from Cordelia, I refused and we've hated each other ever since."
Angel snorted, "No, he dislikes you greatly – he hated me, I know the difference."
{Kate's Room}
Xander could hear the conversation in the lobby as clear as a bell as he watched Kate belt back a fifth shot of scotch; he could tell her plan was to drink herself into unconsciousness, but he also knew it would not solve her problem, "Wanna talk, Kate?"
"What's there to talk about? We had to watch and listen to a girl sell her body for her next hit, and we couldn't do a damned thing about it." She forewent the shot glass and drank straight from the bottle, taking a long pull before putting it down and gasping for air as the alcohol burned her throat, tears coming to her eyes, "Did you want to take the shot?"
He reached over and grabbed the bottle, setting it aside, "Absolutely, but then that would have caused more problems than it solved, Kate." He got out of the chair and took a seat next to her on her single bed, looking at the door, "Look, we were asked to do a job and unfortunately the rules of engagement said that we were not to react unless reacted to – cut and dry, Angel had us by the balls."
"He had YOU by the balls, Xander. In case you didn't notice, women don't have them – he had me by the-"She didn't finish as Xander put his finger to her lips and enforced a little of his will upon her alcohol-addled mind.
"Kate, I know you're hurting, but you need to remember that we can't save them all – that was true when you were a cop and is even more true now." He saw a tear spill from one eye down one cheek and pulled her into a hug that unlocked the floodgates for about five minutes. She sobbed into his shirt and he held her, rubbing her back and wondering exactly why she was taking what had happened so hard – had she been victimized, known someone who had been raped, or was it a woman thing? He wasn't sure, but even as the tears stopped and she pulled back, he knew that it was going to stay with her for a long time.
"Thanks, Xander, but I wanna go to sleep right now."
"Probably best – you're going to have a fuck of a hangover tomorrow morning."
She groaned, "Why'd you let me drink all of that?"
"Because if I had tried to stop you, you would have resented the hell out of me and it would have taken longer for you to break down like that." Even as he spoke, though, he could feel the sands of sleep claiming her and he carefully laid her down on her bed, covering her and shutting off the lights before leaving to the lobby.
"Is she okay?"
"She will be, Angel. Let her sleep in tomorrow and she'll be over the worst of it." He flopped into a seat and sighed, "So, why the fuck didn't you let me take the shot, Angel?"
Angel winced, "Because we're letting the LAPD take these guys, Xander – it's not our normal bag, if you catch my drift."
"Do you REALLY think they would have found me or Kate, Angel?"
"We're not assassins, Xander, nor are we the law – accept it and move on."
Xander snorted, "Angel, I won't accept it because you know that I can't. What the hell do we have the law for if there isn't justice?" The question hung there even as the clock continued ticking – nobody answered.
{Next afternoon}
"Hey, Cordy." The actress/secretary looked over from where she was sunbathing in the courtyard to see Xander walk out in a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top, obviously intent on working on his tan as well.
"Loser."
"Harpy."
"Dweeb."
"Harmony Lite."
She goggled at him, "Take that back!" She saw him grin and scowled, "Fine, be that way about it."
"How'd your shoot go last night?"
"Fine, until they saw the scar on my stomach." She looked down and saw the lump of flesh that was left from where a piece of ¾ inch reinforcing steel, commonly known as rebar, had gone through her entire body when she'd fallen down a collapsed set of stairs, only to find her then-boyfriend, Xander, and Willow kissing.
Xander walked over and looked at her stomach, a frown creasing his face, "Hmm, how about that." He reached down and put his hand over the scar, closing his eyes for a second before removing it to reveal nothing but unblemished, yet tanned, flesh, "I figure if nothing else, I owe you that much, Queen C."
The simple gesture changed her thought patters for a few moments – the scar was one of the few things keeping her from breaking into true stardom, which she had been told by several directors, and she'd need to work for Angel for a few more years before she had enough to take off and get plastic surgery. Now, though, with a simple touch, she had a shot, so she looked up at Xander and smiled slightly, "Thanks, but why?"
He shrugged, "If memory serves me correctly, I gave you that scar by proxy, so it's my responsibility to take it away." He silently went back over to where he had set down some of his things and laid down on the chair, basking in the sun and leaving Cordelia to her thoughts even as someone else came out of the hotel, that person being Kate and she too was dressed for sunbathing.
"Hey, Cordelia, Xander." She took up a position between the pair of them and slowly slathered on some sun block, a lot of it as she had worn a bikini that was cut high in the hips, low in the front and was held together by what looked like dental floss, which surprised Cordelia.
"Nice bikini, Kate."
"Thanks, Cordy – I've been wanting to try it out for a few weeks now and today seems like the perfect day." Cordelia, however, knew that the bikini was brand new – she'd helped Kate move into her room and had never seen those tiny pieces of fabric before, so she had bought them this morning when she went out or had hidden it somewhere.
"Sure, Kate. So, Xander, what's up with you today that Angel gave you both the day off? Tired already?"
"Nope – Lorne somehow got me to volunteer to work at Caritas tonight, something about free margaritas with a song, or something. Is some of the singing as bad as Angel says it is?"
Cordelia and Kate snorted in unison, "Like he's one to talk, but yeah, it gets pretty bad sometimes."
Xander groaned and thumped his head back, "Great, just great. Is there any way to get out of it?"
"Nope!" Cordelia chimed in with Kate, both of them having been suckered by Lorne once already for serving at Caritas on free margarita night. Agony shared was agony halved, as the saying went.
{Caritas, that evening}
Xander's hand instinctively went for the sword that was not at his waist, wishing to throw it ala Azeem in Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, at the stage and end the existence of the Chaos demon that was butchering AC/DC's 'Highway To Hell' – of course, half of the crowd was shouting encouragements, the other half death threats, and Lorne had a particularly pained look on his green face as he turned, "Xander, a double scotch, please."
Xander winced – depending on what Lorne ordered, it was an indication of what or how bad the reading was; a double scotch wasn't all that good, so he filled the order and added a free margarita with it, handing it to Lorne as a female demon came up to the bar, "What can I get you, ma'am?"
"Scotch, neat, and your number."
He smiled and poured the drink, "Sorry, but my number isn't available." She pouted her full red lips and batted some big brown eyes, but accepted her drink as he handed it over, but at that point he felt an over-bearing pressure in the back of his mind, which caused him to grimace. "What the hell?"
"You're getting a call for help, kid." Ares came into being behind him and most of the patrons stopped dead in their tracks to look at the Greek god of War, "A sniper's asking for help."
Xander nodded and flashed into his own 'work clothes', sword included, and looked at Lorne, who nodded, and then orbed away towards the call.
{Houston, Texas}
SWAT officer Bill Jackson breathed in and out as he peered through his scope at the sight before him, his finger on the trigger of his rifle as he absently sent up another prayer to anyone who was listening for a clear line of fire. Some numb-nut had taken a woman hostage and was on the 610 loop bridge over the ship channel, threatening to throw the both of them off to their certain deaths – he was demanding all kinds of shit, but all Bill needed was for the guy to move six inches to his left or the woman to stop moving. 300 meters and change, no wind, and he had a level playing field.
It happened so quickly that Bill almost missed it – a feeling of serene peace came over him as the woman stilled and the man moved to his left, as if to say 'wish granted' and Bill squeezed the trigger of his rifle, which bucked against his shoulder and loosed a 7.62mm round at the hostage taker. In under a second the projectile covered the 300 meters and caught the guy in the left pectoral and continued on through the body out the right side of his chest, lifting him up, back and away from the now-free woman and over the railing of the bridge as the flatfoots went in and grabbed the woman.
"One shot, one kill." It had been taught to him in sniper school as a Marine and it applied to him now – he felt bad that he had to take the shot, but the hostage was safe and that's all that mattered.
(Out of phase with time – Houston, Texas)
Xander watched the sniper calmly note the time and placement of the shot taken in his booklet before putting his rifle and kit away, looking at peace with himself. He'd come to terms a while back that he was a patron god of killers, in a way, of a sect of marksmen and women that were the best of the best in timing and placement, but he also realized that there were other people out there who were also snipers – terrorists, mafia, even miss-guided schmucks who had been 'wronged' and would get their revenge by way of the gun one way or another. Unfortunately something else that Ares once told him about being a patron god came up at those memories – he had to grant the wish or make the shot happen, but it was up to him if it worked the way it was supposed to.
"Not easy, is it, kid?" Ares orbed in, but was also joined by Artemis and Athena, and all of them looked grim at what had transpired.
"No, it's just starting to set in just what my job is and who it is that will be asking me for help."
Athena nodded, "Yes, you are a patron god of life takers, Alexander, but also of life savers."
Artemis snorted and shook her head, "It's not that romantic or idyllic, Athena, and you know it – he has people on both sides of the line, we all do." Xander knew that one of Artemis' new Amazons, something she had just started doing as of late, had turned already and was using her new gifts for profit instead of the betterment of the new Nation, and that hurt her deeply. They'd chatted about it idly over the hours he'd spent on Olympus a while back, and there were hidden depths to the goddess of the Hunt. "It will be a test to see just which prayers he answers and which ones he answers correctly."
He looked at Ares, who shrugged, "You get to answer them all, it's your job, but how well you answer them is completely up to you."
Xander nodded as the SWAT commander came over and began to chew out the sniper for taking an unauthorized shot, "His career is over, isn't it."
Ares nodded, "Yeah, its toast – he'll bounce around as a rent-a-cop for a while before his true calling comes into being." Xander looked at him to explain but Ares kept silent about the 'true calling', and Xander didn't feel like pushing it, "Well, kid, back to the bar for a while – you have drinks to fill and people to meet." Artemis and Athena smiled and vanished, not too long before Ares made himself scarce and left Xander in the sweltering heat of Houston.
"Hmm, I wonder how Diana is doing. No keys for her, though." With that thought, he orbed over to look in on baby Diana and smiled as she giggled, kicking her feet before trying to telekinetically lift his sword from him – some things never changed.
{Hyperion Hotel – Next morning}
"Angel Investigations, We Help The Hopeless." He watched Cordelia's face, which was already fuming for some reason or another, go from bad to worse, "No, sir, we are not that type of establishment – good day." With that, she slammed down the phone into the receiver.
"Escort?"
She looked over at him and glared, "No, Free Clinic. I swear, Wes, people see the angel on the card and suddenly think we're anything BUT what we're supposed to be."
Having questioned the 'angel' from day one, Wes knew that Angel was more than a little skeptical of it, and he found himself even more skeptical but had brains enough to not say anything.
"Well, if you'd have just clipped out the picture of a REAL angel instead of a five year-old's scribble, you wouldn't have that kind of problem, would you?" Wes looked up at the snark and saw Xander standing over by the coffee pot, still dressed as if he had just come 'off the clock' and holding a cup of coffee.
"HEY! I did the best I could, you know." Cordelia got out of her desk as Gunn, Kate and Fred came into the room.
Wes could only look at the new arrivals and groan, "And they're off." The seer and the demi-god went into verbal warfare that lasted for nearly an hour – she'd call him names, and he'd say, 'oh, real mature, Queen C' before sticking his tounge out at her, which would set her off again, though this time she'd bring his family into it, which he would then do so in kind, which nearly brought her to tears. Quite honestly, Wesley had thought that after the destruction of the high school, he would never be forced to listen to that kind of squabble again, but apparently he was wrong.
"They are really going after it, aren't they?"
"No, Gunn, this is merely a warm up – trust me, when they do go at it for real, you'll know it." Angel walked out of his office and winced as Xander not only deflected a verbal jab, something about his mother and a donkey, but turned it around and hit Angel with it, "Can we kill them and call it an accident, Wes?"
Both parties involved turned and shouted, "HEY!" before turning back around and going back at it.
Kate looked slightly amused as she walked over to the coffee pot and poured a cup, "I think it's cute, personally."
Cordelia snorted and turned, "Please, you think Xander's cute – we've seen you making cow eyes at him and that bikini you wore the other day? Yeah, right – I bet that is all part of some plan to get him in the sack."
Wes rolled his chair back as Kate spit out the mouthful of liquid, splattering it all over his formerly clean desk before glaring at Cordelia, "Not true! Yeah, I think he's a nice guy, and in those leather pants of his, sure, maybe, but no, he's a co-worker." She and Cordy then went at it as Xander pulled himself away from the fight, a smile on his face.
Wesley found himself, along with Angel, Gunn and Xander, entranced by the two young ladies verbal spar in that special way that all males found themselves unable to look away from a pair of women who were fighting – it was intoxicating, if a bit crude, and even as Cordelia made a rash comment about Kate's hair, which caused Kate to fire back about Cordelia's occasionally inappropriate attire on missions, and it degenerated from there. Fortunately, though, or perhaps unfortunately, depending on whom you asked, fate took that point to intervene in that the phone rang, a phone at Xander picked up.
"Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless." He nodded, once, twice, and then began to write down on a tablet next to the phone, "Alright, I'll have a few people over there to assess and we'll get back to you on that – thank you." Xander ripped the paper off of the tablet and looked at Kate, "Yo, Police Girl, I've got something for you, Gunn and Wes." Wes sighed – he had caught an episode of 'Hellsing', an animated cartoon from Japan, and one of the characters, a former police officer, was called 'Police Girl' by her sire, whom she called Master. He knew that Kate hated the name, and Wesley suspected that Xander only called her that because of the fact.
She snapped her head over and snarled at him, ending the fight between her and Cordelia, who was looking smug, "I'll get you for that, Harris."
The demi-god only smiled cheekily at her, "If you wear that bikini from the other day, I'll let you do whatever you want to me." Gunn chuckled at that, Angel only grimaced and Wesley found himself getting to his feet and walking towards the garage – there was actual work to be done and he liked his shirt; human blood was a pain to get out of cotton and the blood of demi-beings was even worse on the material.
{Four days later – 1900, Thursday – Hyperion Hotel}
Xander walked next to Kate, whom had indeed gotten back at him that afternoon for his nickname of her as 'Police Girl', and they sat on a small sofa in the lobby of the old hotel with a grunt – she'd accompanied him to Caritas, where Lorne had gotten him to tend bar again, but this time she handed out his number to every female demon who asked and there had not been a thing he could do to stop her. Since then, his phone had been ringing off of the hook at his new desk and Cordy was getting fairly miffed that they were calling for him and not to become new clients.
"Are you as tired as I am?" He looked at her and arched an eyebrow, so she sank into the sofa and against him with a sigh, "We never work for Lorne again if he says it's going to be a slow night – deal?"
"Deal." He and Kate got along very well, kind of like how he and Joyce, Dawn, Faith, Jenny and Sonja got along, but where, save the first of his listing, there had been the potential for romance with the others, he and Kate knew that if anything happened between them, it would be on a purely friends and platonic level, which was both a good and bad thing. She was a smart, funny, attractive and mature woman of 28 and could have any man she wanted if she put her mind to grabbing one, but he'd noticed that she was a bit of a pit bull in that when she got on something, like the supernatural, she didn't let go and often burned bridges when she got like that (something that got her fired from the force, as well). "Tell me, Kate – why aren't you married?"
She only shrugged, "Never found time, actually – job, life, and all, I probably saw Mister Right and, with my luck, handcuffed him."
He chuckled at that, "Kinky – personally, I'm not into B&D, but whatever floats your boat, honey." She glared at him as the door opened and a voice called out ... one that had haunted him for a while, actually.
"B&D is fun, but I'm more of an S&M girl myself." The voice was smoky, sultry and just positively oozed with sex, but it also had a darker edge to it that spoke of age, experience and having committed atrocities that she longed to commit again.
He stood but didn't look at her, "Hello, Darla – when'd you get back to the world of the un-living?" All living beings gave off a specific energy pattern, regardless of if they were human, animal or demon, but undead beings gave off a void that showed up as a general blackness in the area, and he knew that there were two vampires in the room.
She was dressed in a red knee-length dress, silk by the looks of it, with pumps and she had her hair cut to shoulder length; her face was made up, pale and she was sucking on a lollipop with a grin that said she knew something he didn't, "Not too long – you look familiar. Do we know each other?"
Her companion was dressed in a pair of stretch pants, a loose blouse and she had on a funny looking bucket hat made of straw that had flowers on it; her pale skin, long dark hair and red lips had also been in his dreams many times, but not associated with the hate he felt for the other woman as she clapped her hands childishly and spoke, "Oh, my Kitten is back! And he's all filled yummy energy, from his daddy and others, he is."
He couldn't help but smile, "Hello, Dru – how've you been, Princess?"
She looked around at the hotel and shrugged, "Mummy hasn't been good lately – her Spiky is all dusty now and Grandmummy wants to be with Daddy."
Kate was on her feet by now, her sidearm pulled, "Who are they, Xander?"
"Darla and Drusilla, Angel's Sire and Childe, respectively. While Darla's older, Dru's more dangerous because she's a seer and ... not all there, which makes her unpredictable."
Darla laughed at this, "But that's what makes her so much fun, Xander, and I remember you now – you saved the Slayer from you friend, right? Oh, he tasted so good, so sweet – virgin blood is always the best."
Kate looked at him as he idly contemplated wiping Darla off of the face of the Earth, "How are we?"
"SNAFU."
Dru giggled at this but Darla looked unsure, "SNAFU?"
"Situation Normal, All Fucked Up."
She smirked at that, "How very ... human."
He shrugged and waved a hand, bringing into existence a large table set for tea, "Would you care to join us, ladies? It's hardly proper for us to converse without refreshment." Dru squealed at this and hopped around while Darla and Kate looked at him oddly before sitting, allowing the insane vampiress to serve them, "So, Darla, how does it feel to be a vampire again?"
She shrugged and sipped her tea, "Not bad – how is it to be a demi-god?"
He arched an eyebrow, "You know?"
She smiled, "It's all the buzz around the demon community about the demi-god who tends bar at Caritas."
He nodded, "Hey, a guy needs to make ends meet these days, but speaking of Caritas, I heard about what you and Dru did to those lawyers two nights ago – that was truly inspired, Darla. I now see where Angelus got it from."
She preened slightly at the praise, "Why, thank you, Alexander – tell me, would you like to join us?"
"Hold on a second, lady," Kate interrupted, her tea finished. "Why are you here? What do you want?"
"Grandmummy wants Daddy to come back to us, she does? It's been so lonely without him and my Spike, with his nasty soul and my baby's dust – Kitten, could you bring him back for me? Please? For Mummy?"
He smiled sadly at the insane vampire, "Sorry, Dru, but I have orders from my bosses to stay out of things."
Dru simply nodded, "I understand, Kitten, but Daddy and Spiky are coming back either way – it's going to be all of us in one big happy family again, it will! All dances, and parties, oh, and presents – I so love prezzies, especially the juicy ones, like eyeballs and hearts."
He looked at Kate, who looked at Darla, and both gave the vampire a look of sympathy, which she freely accepted as the doors opened again and allowed the rest of the Fang Gang to enter, looking rather worse for the wear, "Hey, guys – the gang's all here."
"Darla? Dru?"
Darla turned around and then smiled, "Hello, Angelus."
"Daddy!" Dru ran to Angel and hugged him mightily before backing up and hissing, scratching like a cat would, "Not-Daddy smells bad, he does."
Cordy snorted, "You run through a sewage treatment plant and tell me how good you smell afterwards, oh Insane One."
Dru just sniffed in distain, "There's no need to be snide, ducky. Just because you haven't been courted by a gentleman and now you sell yourself means nothing to me." Xander looked at Kate, who wore a wince of surprise as both Gunn and Wes tried to hold back Cordy, who was sputtering with rage as Dru went on, "Come now, Grandmummy, we have parties to attend and people to eat."
Darla smiled indulgently at her and looked at Angel, "What were you thinking, Angelus?" She turned to leave but Xander orbed himself in front of her, "What do you want, boy?"
He smiled, "To give you a gift, Darla." He placed on hand on her cheek and the other one over her unbeating heart, allowing the energy to flow through his hands and into her, "May it do to you what it did for Spike." With that done, he orbed back to Kate's side as Darla looked at him oddly, but then she left with Dru prancing at her side, at which time he frowned, "When did she come back, Angel?"
He shrugged, "A few months ago, just before you came here. What was she here for and why didn't you stake her?"
Xander only shrugged, "As to the first, she was looking for you, something about wanting to bring back Angelus." Cordelia, who had simmered down just a little, hissed at that, as did Wesley, but Gunn, Lorne and Kate looked slightly in the dark, "As for the second, well, I had other things on my mind at the time."
Angel gave him an arched look, "Other things?"
Xander narrowed his eyes, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Deadboy – revenge is what I was thinking. Why do you think I gave her some of my energy before she left?"
Wesley looked at him oddly, "What would that do, Xander? I mean, your energy is a Holy type of energy and ... she's a vampire ..." As Wesley trailed off, Xander only grinned as Gunn grimaced, Cordelia gasped, Kate frowned and Angel and Lorne both gasped, "My God, Xander. That's cruel."
"Cruel? That's monstrous!" Angel surged forwards and grabbed him by the front of the shirt, "What would you do something like that?"
"I guess you would know about being a monster, wouldn't you, Angelus? Besides, it'll take a while before it really kicks in."
"Something that won't happen, kid." From behind a pillar stepped a figure that he knew and didn't like – Whistler, "Darla has a destiny that she needs to complete, so take back your energy and keep the hell out of LA for the next few days."
Xander orbed away from Angel, who shouted and nursed his burned fingers, and walked up to Whistler, "On who's authority do you tell me that, demon? The Powers That Be? In case you didn't notice, I don't answer to them."
Whistler, to his credit, stood his ground, "Not this time, Kid – HE is the one telling you, I'm just the messenger."
HE never got involved in their own trifling matters, but when HE did, there was no ifs, ands or buts about what the orders were, because they were orders, "Alright, but tread carefully around me, demon – I don't care if you balance good and bad or plates and basketballs on sticks, because in the end, you're still a demon." That said, Xander pulled back his energy from Darla, orbed himself to his room, grabbed a few things and then orbed himself to Olympus for some down time ... and to sulk. He never got to have any fun anymore.
{Olympus}
In times past it had been a common pastime for her, but as of late, with her new Amazon nation running around, it was not – Artemis found herself bored out of her skull as she sat down in the glade that belonged to the oft-absent demi-god Alexander, the one person on Olympus that didn't seem to mind her invading his personal space. Currently, she was seated on a rock, dressed in her leather armor but without her weapons, her chin propped up on her right fist, which was held in place by her right elbow being on her right knee, and she sighed at what had happened that day – she'd been bringing back her Amazon nation for the past year and it had gone off swimmingly at first, but then her Amazons began to morph into several things that they had never shown tendencies before; a god-less, barbaric culture of warmongers on one hand, political minded thinkers on another and women of no warrior-minded thoughts whatsoever despite being blessed with the body of one. It was disturbing that her grand idea was failing all over again, though this time for different reasons.
"Are you okay, Artemis?" She jumped slightly and turned to see Alexander standing there in denim pants, a light cotton shirt, boots and with a bag in hand, looking somewhat confused.
"I am as well as I can be, Alexander. I am sorry for disturbing your area."
He shrugged and sat down in the overly comfortable chair that he had made, one she knew as comfortable as she had fallen asleep in it several times in the past, and shook his head, "No problem, Artemis – what's wrong? You look ... disturbed."
She smiled slightly, heartened that someone didn't mind her mood as of late, "Bored, mostly, but yes, I am also disturbed – my Amazon nation is ... failing. Again."
He got out of his chair and produced a large white bucket with a handle, turning it upside down and sitting on next to her, "How? I thought things were going well?"
She nodded, drawing her face into a pensive frown, "They were, but then the tribes began to ... separate, mutate, become something that they were never intended to become." She blew out a breathy sigh and went back to resting her chin on her fist, "In all, this sucks."
He snickered at that, as he should have, seeing that he'd taught her the word in that context, "As I am sure it would – how can we fix it?"
She looked over at him, somewhat surprised, "We? You are offering me your help?"
He shrugged, "I've been kicked out of LA for a few days after stepping on a few toes, so I need something to keep my mind on business." He 'zapped up', as he often called it, a writing set, a spiral of bound paper and a wastebasket, "So, what are the problems with each of these so-called tribes? What are the pros and cons of each?"
She looked at him and blinked, "And how would doing this help us?"
He shrugged, "Something one of my teachers in high school told me once – once you know what you have to work with, it's easier to come up with a solution ... or something like that."
Artemis blinked at the simple, logical answer and then dictated to him what the strengths and weaknesses were of each tribe – the warriors were strong, brave and very skilled with the sword, but they lacked the structure of leadership and they often found themselves talking themselves into situations that they couldn't get out of due to the fact that their equipment was too thinly stretched. The political Amazons had some skill with the sword, but more with their minds and their speech, and while they kept in practice with weaponry, their maintenance and physical skills were sorely lacking. The 'non-warrior' Amazons had great upkeep of their weaponry, rudimentary leadership, and were adequate thinkers, but none of them knew one end of the sword from the other in battle, always worrying about their hair, nails and skin, not to mention their clothes.
Alexander took all of this down and then smirked, "So let me get this straight – you have a camp that wants to fight but can't think, you have a camp who wants to think but can't fight, and you have a bunch of teenaged girls who won't fight and like to flex their muscles but not get dirty, right?"
She nodded, "I tried combining aspects of all three already, but the group tore itself apart, with each faction putting itself above the other."
Alexander frowned, "Well, that sucks, but do they know that YOU are in charge? That at the end of the day, you are the reason they are Amazons?"
She nodded, "That is within the creed they know by heart."
"But have you ever enforced it?" This made her blink and he went on, "Have you ever been forced to take them over your knee, if you will? I mean, before it got too abusive, I got spanked more than a few times as a kid and I think I was better for it myself."
Artemis glanced at him, "Have you ever TRIED to 'spank' an Amazon warrior woman, Alexander?"
He grinned, "No, I like all of my parts where they are, thank you very much, but that's just a figure of speech – you know what you have to do, so do it."
She hated enforcing her will upon others like that, but she saw the logic in his words, "And what if they leave me?"
He shrugged, "Artemis, in this day and age, people are too damned fickle if they don't get enough of everything they want. Problem here is that you've given them all they want, but haven't given what they need – a good swift kick in the ass."
She looked at him oddly, "You are wise beyond your years, Alexander – if they do turn on me I am going to hold you responsible for this."
He shrugged and flashed into his leather armor, "Don't give them a chance to – you're their goddess, make them realize they are here to serve you."
She nodded and called her weapons to her, wondering why she hadn't tried any of this before.
{Later}
"Kansas? The birthplace of the new Amazon Nation is ... Kansas?" She looked over at Alexander as he stared around dumb-founded, "Why?"
Artemis merely shrugged, "Where else can anything odd happen and nobody notice?" He looked at her for a moment and then nodded, allowing her to go on, "That aside, my most numerous followers are here in Kansas, so this is where I started them." She led him to a large, mostly abandoned barn that she used as her gathering place and proceeded to summon her warriors from the surrounding area – they came in one drove and filled most of the floor of the barn, totaling nearly two hundred from around the state, and all were dressed in a myriad of clothing and armor as she smiled, "Greetings, my Amazons."
"What do you want?" Artemis stiffened at the rudeness in the voice of one of the elder Amazons as she stepped forwards, a war-like one who held an axe in her hands, "And who is he?"
"My name is Alexander, patron god of Snipers, CHILD," Alexander said with emphasis on the 'child' as he stepped forwards, his face set into a grim mask. "And I am here to help your Goddess with your insubordination."
The girl snorted, "As if a man could do anything with an Amazon." She walked even further forwards as dread began to fill Artemis, "Well? What are you going to do?"
Alexander moved in a flash, faster than mortal eyes could see, but slow enough for gods to see – he stepped back, pulled his sword and slashed it forwards, barely nicking the girl's throat before allowing the momentum to carry him around to where he could place a boot in her chest with only human strength, sending the rude child back into her sisters. It hurt Artemis to see her child hurt in such a way, but it was apparent that Alexander would be teaching a lesson that day, "THAT is what I shall do, Child. Know that I am here of my own free will – your Lady Artemis did not ask me here, nor does she wish to see any of you die, but die you shall if you continue this pattern of behavior."
"That is enough, Alexander." She stepped forwards as the rude child got back her, clutching her throat, and walked to her, her eyes narrowing as she did, "Would you presume that you lead this Amazon nation, Child? Would you presume that you are more fit for this job than I, someone who predates your entire species by millennia?"
The girl's mouth opened once, then twice, and by the third time, with her neck still oozing blood, she gave voice to whatever she was going to say, "Why did you do that? What has the Amazon nation ever done to you, Alexander?"
She watched him square his shoulders to them as he looked around, his eyes sizing them up as if they were the newest recruits in the military, "That, Child, has nothing to do with the Nation – that was for you and you alone. You see, Artemis and others have helped me a great deal in the past year, and for that, I am both thankful and in her debt. The way you were treating her, you and the rest of your sisters, is quite honestly the most deplorable show of ingratitude, not to mention sheer stupidity, which I have ever seen out of humanity. She MADE you, ALL OF YOU, and THIS is how you repay her? With your indifference? With your lackluster performance and petty infighting?" Alexander snorted, forcing Artemis to hold in a very pleased smile as she knew he was speaking down to them to force them to bring up their level of performance out of sheer pride, "Know that if you were my people, I would have killed you all by now out of sheer rage, and Lady Artemis' temper is much shorter than my own."
"I think you have scared them enough, my friend." She looked at the mass of cringing, shameful and almost-crying girls and sighed, "Perhaps I was overzealous in my goals of a new Nation – perhaps I was not thinking clearly when I chose you all as my first new Amazons. That, however, is the past, one that not even I can change – all we have is the future, and a glorious one it shall be. I expect nothing less than excellence out of each and every one of you – you shall learn from your mistakes and from the others, you shall learn how to be AMAZONS, much as the women who came before you, and you shall now be forced to EARN that right to be called as such." With a hard heart, she removed her blessing from all of the girls present, each of whom screamed in mental agony that soon passed; she turned away and found Alexander facing her, the look on his face telling her that he knew that as much as they were hurting, she was hurting far greater and deeper than she was. She gave him a weak smile as he came up to her and gave her a hug that lasted for only a second before they broke away and turned back to the girls, all of them now getting their wits about them and looking at her, their eyes asking her why she had done that. After a moment to let them compose themselves, not to mention to reign in her own anguish, she spoke again, "Know that if you wish to be Amazons from this point out, you shall be required to earn that title – no more free rides."
"Would you accept us, Alexander?" One of her former Amazons, a stout young woman who worked on her father's farm and still wore her hair in pigtails, "Are we good enough for your Corps?"
"No, you are not." They all took a step back at that, allowing him to continue, "My own people are killers, people trained in the art of stealth, in the ways of killing and of pre-emptive thought – they need to be in position and ready to take down their targets before their targets know they are going in that direction. None of you are that kind of person, nor do I ask you to become one – my own Corps of people shall rise when it is time for them to do so, but for now, do your best to become Amazons, earn that right and glorify not only yourselves, but those who came before you. Do this and I am sure that Lady Artemis will reward you as she sees fit – spurn her, show signs of deceit and treachery and you will pray that she gets to you before I do." With that, he turned to her, she smiled and him and he vanished back to Olympus – in the back of her mind, she heard his howls of laughter as he landed in his own glade and repressed a smirk as her new candidates looked at her expectantly.
"Now, are we all settled?" The girls nodded, some meekly, and Artemis felt her lips curl into a smile, "Good. Now, we train. Start running and do not stop until I get tired."
{Olympus}
Ares watched as the demi-god howled in mirth at the rather masterful performance that he had just given – when Artemis and Xander had both left, he knew something was up and had gone to watch it all, and watch it he did. Several more of his brothers and sisters joined the viewing and smirked at the reverse psychology that was used to bring Artemis' Amazons up to a new level, a level that they were now earning in that they were running their collective asses off as a group. As the kid got himself back under control, he sat up and looked over, at which time Ares spoke, "Having fun?"
The kid broke out in a grin that Ares found was worthy of ... himself, "Absolutely, Ares – why didn't you ever tell me that doing stuff like that was so much fun?"
"And spoil all of your fun? Perish the thought, kid. Still, that one Amazon did put up a good question – what about snipers? They could be female to start with, and then we could incorporate males as the ranks of not only the Amazons but my forces build as well."
Xander frowned, "Hmm, that means that I'm going to either Europe, the Middle East or Asia for them – American military forces don't allow for snipers or Special Forces to be female." Ares remembered when that particular decision had been handed down, about the Special Forces being a 'men only' thing, and how royally pissed off both Artemis and Athena had been – almost led to World War III in the process too. "Where's Athena? I need her input on this."
"She's in her cubbyhole, kid – be careful. Last time I was in there I almost sat on some battle plans older than your concept of democracy and ... well, she was pissed." He absently rubbed the spot where she had told her pet owl to attack him, which was right at the juncture of his neck and shoulders. Damned bird wouldn't quit, either.
"Thanks." The Kid vanished in a sparkle of light and that left Ares with a rather odd decision – should he tell the kid about Athena's bird or not?
{2 minutes later - Athena's Lair – Olympus}
Xander looked around, brandishing the handgun that he'd zapped up after being dive-bombed by something with wings, brown in color and moving very quickly, and casually looking to see if Athena was about – damned Ares probably knew about whatever had attacked him and left him to figure it out on his own. "What the hell were you?"
"An owl, Alexander – a Great Horned Owl, if one wished to get technical." Athena, dressed in her habitual armor and with her hair down at the moment, walked out of the shadows with the brown thing, which indeed was an owl, on her shoulder, "Do put the gun away, Alexander – it does little more than irritate him."
Xander eyed the owl, which clicked his beak at him, and tucked the gun into the back of his pants, "Fine – I have a question for you, Athena, and it involves some of the people you have tagged as your future leaders." She arched an eyebrow and he told her, in broad strokes, what his plan was as far as snipers and the Amazons went, "So?"
She frowned for a second, the owl on her shoulder hooting before she stopped frowning and smiled a bit, "It has promise, but why only women?"
"To fill out the Amazon ranks for now, plus they'd have natural camouflage as women amongst them and Artemis would have the option of using them as well. Ares will get snipers as well for his Corps, but he'll have other means at his disposal." Athena's famed presence wasn't getting to him at all, it was that damned owl and it's eyes, that piercing stare, and it was bugging the hell out of him, "So, anyone you can spare right now?"
Athena tapped her finger to her lips for a second before going back to her scrolls and books, rummaging under this and pushing aside that until she came up with a list of three names, a short list, but it was a list none the less, "Here – they are ready for the taking and Artemis can begin training them post haste."
He took the list and smiled, "Thank you, Athena." He looked at the owl, which hooted at him again, "Watch it, Feather Duster – I shoot to kill." Athena laughed at this as the owl hooted in annoyance, at which point he left back to Kansas, where the Amazon-wannabes were already treading a path in a field, some of them looking ready to drop while others were still as fresh as daisies.
"Greetings, Alexander." Artemis was smiling now, a pretty smile at that, one that brought out the green in her eyes as the sun reflected off of her auburn hair and warmed her skin, "What brings you back so quickly?"
"I might have three more for you – snipers, all trained." Artemis looked interested as the idea whirled in her mind without him saying a word, "So, how about it?"
"A good plan, but how would they fall as far as jurisdictional conflicts go? I like my prayers."
"As do I – kind of a rush, actually. Either way, if they are needed to take a shot, I get the prayer, but other than that, they're all yours." She smiled at that, "So?"
"Whenever you're ready, so shall I be as well." He nodded and orbed back to Olympus for a little hunting of his own – with six billion people to look through, three was going to be a tad bit of a challenge.
{2 Hours Later – Kansas}
Officer Alexa O'Malley looked at the other two women whom had appeared out of thin air next to her and saw that not only did the appear to be as in the dark as she was, neither of them looked particularly happy – one was swearing fluently in Russian and the other was wearing the military uniform of the Israeli Defense Force. She shook her head in disgust and muttered, in her Irish-accented voice, "What the hell happened this time?"
"I happened." She spun around and beheld a sight that she would remember for the rest of her born days – a young man, maybe twenty, dark hair and eyes, dressed in leather armor and boots, with his feet propped up on a square bale of hay, calmly reading a manila folder that had her name printed across the label and 'Boston Police Department: Personnel File – CONFIDENTIAL' printed across it's face. "Ladies, I bid you welcome to Kansas – the how's and why's of your being here aren't important yet, but there is something important about each of you, something that you the other two with you – you're all trained snipers, skilled in the arts and I would like to ask for your help."
Alexa looked at the other two women and didn't need a translator to be able to read their minds, so she spoke, "Bollocks! Who are ye?"
He looked over at her, "Alexander, patron god of snipers, Greek Pantheon." As if to prove the point, he snapped the folder closed and vanished from sight, only to put his hand around her mouth from behind her a split-second later, "Now, if I let go of your mouth, are you going to promise to not scream or inflict bodily injury upon me?" She nodded and he let go, only to appear in front of her again in a flash of light, "Now, to help with your questions, I've put up a temporary spell that makes us understand each other, so ask away."
"Am I being held prisoner? I wish to contact my embassy." The woman, Russian by her accent, was a tall, thickly built woman with dark brown hair, harsh gray eyes and had a cruel scar that went from the outer edge of her left eye down to the top of her high cheek bone, only about an inch in distance, but it was a wide scar that drew the attention of everyone.
"They don't know you're gone, Major Vostoff, and if you refuse this offer I'll erase your memory – you'll never know you were ever gone. If you do accept, though, another and myself shall make it appear as if you've been transferred to the United States on a training program." He looked at her again and frowned, "Did you REALLY hit that guy in the chest from over a kilometer away with that light of a round?"
The woman snarled, "Yes, and if you want proof, I shall use you for him, da?"
The man, Alexander, merely chuckled at that, "I like you, Major – you remind me of someone I once knew." He shifted his gaze to other woman in the part, who appeared to be whispering a prayer, "HE can hear your prayers, Sergeant Hamil, but there's no need to ask for HIS protection – you're perfectly safe with me." 'Sergeant Hamil' was a shorter woman, just over five feet tall, with broad shoulders, a surprisingly thick build in her arms and legs, and a muscular torso that was evident even under her uniform even as she pulled off the beret she wore and checked the braid of black hair she had there.
"So there IS a God?"
Alexander nodded, "Nice enough being – kinda weird when you first have the meet-and-greet, but once you get used to it, it's like talking to your immediate supervisor and the CEO all rolled into one."
"Aye, but you're from the GREEK pantheon, right?"
Alexander only shrugged, "Hey, what can I say – even we have our bosses. Now, to why you are here – do you remember the tale of the Amazon warriors? Women of such skill and prowess in battle that Caesar had them wiped out in hopes of eliminating a threat to his Empire?" Alexa nodded, as did the Major and the Sergeant, "Well, they've been restarted by Artemis, and I am here to ask you three to join their ranks as Snipers."
Alexa couldn't help it – she laughed, "And Da always said that the job'd get tae me sooner 're later."
"I assure you, Alexandra, that the job has not cause you to 'crack', as your father put it to you." Another woman, this one in leather armor as well, but holding a bow and with a sword at her hip, appeared out of a flash of light and she had an odd twist of a smile to her lips, "It appears that I do owe you your winnings, Alexander – you called it perfectly on their reactions."
The man smiled a little and was enveloped again in light, only now his armor was gone and he was in a pair of jeans, a shirt and boots, looking rather relaxed, "They weren't all that difficult to predict, Artemis."
'Artemis' narrowed her eyes at that, "You'll pay for that."
Alexander grinned, "I'm looking forwards to it." This got Artemis to blush a little and even got a chuckle out of the Sergeant, but nothing out of herself or the Major other than a smile, "So, ladies, in or out?"
{Later – Kansas}
Artemis watched as the new trio of potential Amazons ran past the girls yet again, making even the most hardened youngsters look like they were standing still, and smiled again – slowly, her new nation was taking shape, and with only a little prodding from the youngest of her family; Alexander had a great gift for speaking to people in that he'd gotten Major Svetlina Vostoff of the Russian Army and Sergeant Julia Hamil of the Israeli Defense Force, not to mention Officer Alexandra O'Malley, formerly of Belfast, Ireland, and currently of the Boston PD SWAT team to agree to become Amazons after some cursory training. He'd done so with a cool look about his face even as he used a boot knife to peel an apple, calmly shooting down any questions raised about what kind of work they would be doing, if it were illegal, the kind of pay they would get in relation to the other Amazons (Major Vostoff was a materialistic little thing, if Artemis could say so herself), and this that and the other without ever taking his eyes off of them while peeling the apple. She personally got a kick out of it when, after all that work to peel the apple into one ribbon, he fumbled it and it hit the ground before he could stop it, making him swear and getting a laugh out of the candidates and herself as well before returning to Olympus.
She didn't even turn as Athena came down from Olympus next to her and spoke, "Impressive, Sister, but will they hold together?"
Artemis only shrugged, "Time shall tell, Sister."
Athena stepped forwards and peered into her eyes before smiling slyly, "You like him, don't you."
Artemis hesitated, knowing just whom 'he' was, and then feigned innocents, "Who?"
"Alexander. Not that I blame you, Sister," Athena went on as Artemis felt a blush begin to form on her cheeks. "He's young and has many new ideas, not to mention he is quite attractive to the eye in that he's not technically related to any of us save Ares, whom does not 'swing that way'."
"Alright, I'll admit it – he's cute, but far too young for me. Besides, we're friends, nothing more." Even in her own heart though, Artemis wondered if that was all she and Alexander were to become.
{Hollywood – 3 days later}
In three days Xander had been teleporting and recruiting his ass off – fifty-three new Amazon recruits, though most of which were not snipers, and fifty male recruits for Ares' own Corps, the first of which was former Houston SWAT sniper, William Jackson. Now, though, the recruits were being trained, more were being scouted and he was, while still being banned from LA proper, bored out of his skull. He'd come to Hollywood that morning, walked the Walk of Fame and recognized more than a few of his favorites on the ground, been to Mann's Chinese Theater and stood in the Duke's boot prints, hell, he'd even stopped by the wax museum and stared Freddy Krueger in the eyes before walking on to see the Munchkins from The Wizard of Oz in wax. Honestly, unless one was a prostitute, an actor or a producer, there wasn't much reason to be there except to spend an obscene amount of money on over-priced clothes that you wear only once.
Currently, however, he sat just outside of Pink's Hotdog Stand, contemplating the 'Free Wednesday Night Legal Service' while munching on a fully-loaded hotdog; he occasionally saw the odd celebrity, dressed down in hopes of not getting recognized, and left them alone while just sitting next to a building that housed a florist, but mostly kept dodging people who mistook him for some guy named Nicholas Brendon. Honestly, did he look so much like the guy? Nah, Xander thought after a second – the guy was probably better looking and definitely got paid more.
In the end, though, he found himself walking every street and just lazing around until nightfall, at which time he found himself up on the HOLLYWOOD mountainside, just beneath the 'H', just sitting there a sulking some more – damned Whistler and The Powers That Be for not being able to take a little joke. Just because he wanted a sliver of revenge for Jessie against that, in this case, actually blood-sucking bitch, they had to get all pissy and go to God, of all people – it's not like the Big Guy didn't have enough on his plate, let alone having to set in on what amounted to a squabble between some school children over who hit who first. Naturally, though, just as he got good and ready to skip out of sulking and go into Angel-level Brooding, somebody screamed, awakening the White Knight within him.
He arrived to the scene of four young man, about his age or so, looking and laughing at a young women who was hanging on for dear life to a rock that jutted out over the cliff face – seeing no cameras or extra people, Xander knew this wasn't a stunt or a movie shoot, and from what he could see in the auras of the four males, they were all high on something as he approached them form behind as quietly as a cat. Without any sense of guilt or mercy, he clubbed the closest one over the back of the head, knocking him out and moving to the next before the body hit the ground, whom got a chop to the throat to keep him quiet.
"What the fuck?" The leader of the now-duo turned in time to get a fist to the face, smashing his nose flat, and go to the ground in a screaming heap while the singular goon looked at him and took off running, not caring about his 'friends'.
"HELP! Please!" He jogged over to the edge, knowing he'd teleport her if she fell, and reached down to grab her wrists, hauling her up while making it look like he was actually struggling for a second. When her feet touched solid ground, she buried her face into his chest, keeping him from seeing just who she was, and wrapped her arms around his stomach, squeezing hard for several minutes before she stopped crying long enough to look up, "Thank you."
She was about five feet four inches tall, slim but not skinny, with mussed dark brown hair highlighted with blonde streaks, a light dusting of freckles on her pale cheeks, freckles that were obscured with her makeup and tears, and with pretty gray eyes – her clothes were that of a club hopper and it appeared that she had been on the run for a while as her legs were covered in light bruises and her hose were torn from brush and scrub. Even through the tears and the smeared makeup, he recognized her as the rising starlet in the nation's newest sitcom, one that he'd never actually seen because he'd never gotten around to it, but from what'd he'd seen on the commercials, it was supposed to be getting good and juicy, "No problem. What were you doing up here without your bodyguards or something?"
She looked down and pulled back, "Getting away from my bodyguards, mostly, and those executives that wanted to show me around tonight – I swear, I'm nothing more than little pet to show off to others to them." She stamped her dainty foot, which was in a low heel that went with her skirt, and top, or so he though, and growled for a second before stopping and looking up at him, "And what were you doing up here?"
He shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets, "Saving you?" The look she gave him told him she needed more than that, "Sulking, mostly – I did something that I felt needed to be done, but ... an associate to our firm said that it couldn't be done like that and made me take it back. It pissed me off and I've been barred from LA proper for a few more days while some things go down."
She quirked a manicured eyebrow slightly, "Your Firm?"
"Private Investigation Firm, Angel Investigations." Due to the explicit instructions he had received from Cordelia, he made a card in his pocket and then handed it to her, "We deal in ... special cases."
She looked at the card for a second and then snickered, "Oh, I get it – this is supposed to be an angel, right?"
"So Cordelia says, ma'am."
She shrugged, "Call me Cecile, and my sister draws better than this, and she's four."
"Art never was Cordy's strong suit." He walked her down the side of the small mountain and once there they made the call for her people to pick her up, "So, are you going to be okay? Anything else broken, bruised or otherwise injured?"
Cecile shook her head, "Nah, I'm cool, but actually I'd like you to come with me tonight – these big wig parties are SO DULL!" She sat on a rock next to his and looked his clothing up and down, "You feel like changing those?"
"Not really – I don't like dressing up outside of what I think I am, and right now I think I am a ... normal guy who is graced with the astounding beauty of an upcoming actress who needs more attention on her, rather than whom she is sitting with."
She gave him a grin, "Wow, nice answer, but I think you didn't read far enough into the question – we're going to get you at least a shirt." He knew that tone, one that said 'you had better know to shake your head yes', so he complied, but then thought that it was odd that even as a demi-god, he was still answering to The Tone. Was it a male thing? It would be his luck that it was probably so.
{Club Jericho – 2100}
Cecile sat next to her savior as he, at her manager's insistence, played the part of the 'glaring bodyguard', something that he played very well in his jeans, boots and a nice black silk shirt that she'd picked out for him in wardrobe – he was about a foot taller than she, almost two hundred pounds but very little of it, if any, was wasted on fat, and the kicker of it was, he wasn't an actor or a model, let alone a wannabe actor or model. He was just Xander, a name she knew was short for Alexander as her little brother also went by it, and it was also surprising just how many people called him 'Nick' or 'Nicky B' – yeah, he looked like the guy, but it was a bit of an impossibility for him to be the actor because A) the man was married, and B) in Canada, or so the reports said. With a smile and a pass-by to another wannabe-Romeo, she stepped next to him, "What do you think?"
The music around them wasn't exactly pounding, but it was loud enough that his voice was muted slightly, but still able to be heard, "Nice enough, but not really my style."
She gave him another smile, "I know, but we do have to please the bosses, right?" He gave her a grin as a woman with a microphone and a camera came over for a quick interview, which she answered absently until one question came up.
"So who's your date?"
"Not my date – temporary bodyguard and a friend of mine, and NO, he is NOT Nick Brendon. His name's Xander." She smiled as the woman made notes of this and then went to Xander for a few questions, some of them he answered honestly and a few she saw him hedge on, like what he really does for a living.
"So, have you had any acting jobs?"
"Ah, no, not really an actor." The woman looked a little shocked by that, but went on with a few other things, which gave Cecile a wicked idea.
"Actually, Xander," she chipped in from behind the reporter, "I have something that you might like – let's go talk to my manager, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, she drug him across the floor to where the big wigs were sitting and looking over notes, pictures of other actors and generally were touting their own glory, "Yo, Vinny, I think we've got our sage of coffeehouse wisdom."
Her manager, balding and trying to hide it with a comb-over, overweight and in a very bad suit, blinked, "We do?"
Xander looked at her, "You do?"
She smiled just smiled at the both of them.
{Next Day – Set 43}
"And CUT! Great scene, kids." Xander groaned as the hot lights dimmed slightly and he put down the pitcher he had been washing in the sink for the past twenty minutes – who knew acting was such hard work? He'd somehow been talked into being on Cecile's show as a 'sage of coffeehouse wisdom', a part that was on scene for all of thirty seconds on a half-hour show, and it had taken them the better part of four hours to get all of the shots right, and that didn't count the technical problems and flubbed lines, though most of them he ad-libbed for laughs when Cecile got her's wrong.
"Are we done?"
She smiled at him as she grabbed the tepid coffee from behind the counter and drank it all in one go, "Yeah, we're done – thanks for the save, Xander."
He shrugged and took off the apron, "Nothing much to do, though any aspirations of acting that I did have just got flushed and have been taken over by a new-found respect for true actors." She beamed at him slightly as they then walked to where his stuff was stored, "Keep going, Cecile - I see good things in your future."
She hugged him, "Good luck with the PI thing, Xander." She was about to say more, he knew that because he could hear her thoughts just rambling along at nearly Willow-babble speed, when the director shuffled her off to the next scene, so he merely waved goodbye and walked out of the door, wincing at the brightness of the sun before his eyes acclimated and he continued walking on. It was about seventy feet from the door, though, that it hit him – a hard, burning sensation in his gut that nearly drove him to his knees and caused him to instantly orb back to Olympus, where he fell to the grass in agony.
It took several minutes for him to regain his breathing and another few for his feet, but the pain subsided, "What the hell was that?"
"The dark side of the job, kid." Ares walked out from behind a tree and had a grim look on his face, "You're being called ... but for the other side of the game."
An absent through not only called his armor, but sent Ares a 'thank you' as he orbed to where the call came from ... where his blood was frozen solid – it was a kid, maybe fifteen or so, and he was sporting what looked to be a commercial AR-15, scope mounted and with no less than a dozen 20-round magazines on either side of him. Clean cut, glasses, freckles and sporting a rather impressive black eye, Xander couldn't believe what the kid was asking for – a single clear shot to get at the school jock/jerk that had been making fun of him for nearly a decade. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
The kid jerked and looked up, blinking at what he apparently saw, "Who the fuck are you?"
"Alexander, patron god of snipers, and I want a fucking answer, kid – what do you think you are doing?"
The kid's face twisted into a snarl, "Getting even, what does it look like?"
"At least one count of pre-meditated homicide via terrorist means, not to mention a minimum twenty-five years in a Federal Penitentiary, if I remember law correctly ... and that's if the cops don't shoot you on sight." He orbed the gun out of the kid's hands and unloaded it absently, "Besides, 'getting even' isn't a good answer ... what's your name?"
"Brian Kalwick, and it's all the answer I need."
Xander couldn't help it – he slapped the kid in the back of the head, "Listen to yourself, numb nuts – you want to kill a bully for doing his job instead of either talking it out or letting it go?"
"I did talk it out with him, and he talked back with his fist, or didn't you notice this." The kid, Brian, pointed to his black eye, and grabbed the gun back, loading another mag, "Besides, if you ARE the patron god of snipers, you have to answer my wish, so where is it? Where's the clear shot?"
Xander looked over at the scene and then shrugged indifferently – school football field, where the team was lined up for pictures, with a chainlink fence in the way, "Looks clear enough to me – a real sniper wouldn't have any problems with this shot, so my end of things is held up."
Brian leveled the gun and put his eye to the scope, "Then leave – I don't need you anymore, then."
"Think about this, Brian – you're 16 and if you ever see the outside of a prison again, you'll be at least 40. That aside, do you really think you're ready for the kind of pressure it takes to live with killing somebody?"
"I'm ready for anything." The kid's voice went flat and Xander reacted as the trigger started to be pulled – he froze time, just not Brian, "Huh?"
"I froze time, jackass." He reached down and bent the barrel of the gun back in a 'U' shape, "Now try it – I won't be part of this ... stupidity."
The kid lashed out several dozen times, with ill-aimed and timed punches and kicks, screaming incoherently about not understanding and not being fair, but Xander knew that was he was doing was just short of the ultimate fairness (which happened to be death) – he was keeping one Brian Kalwick from making a mistake that he'd never live to regret. After one last kick, the kid dropped to the ground and began crying, sobbing, actually, rocking himself back and forth with his knees drawn up to his chest until he stopped and looked up at him with red eyes, "Why? Why did you stop me?"
"Because it's my duty to stop stupid people like you from making stupid mistakes and using my name in the process – like it or not, Brian, you're going to have to deal with that jock, but not with a gun. That's cowardly, and I can see in you that you're a lot of things, but a coward isn't one of them."
"But he makes fun of me."
"So? Been there, done that, had it done to me too – get over it and get some counseling if you need it. Yeah, you got picked on, but trust me when I say it could always be worse."
"How?"
"I could have let you take the shot. Think about that for a little while, Brian, and make the right choice." With that, he orbed away and back to Olympus, where a smiling Ares met him, "What?"
"Nice job, if a little dramatic." The god of war sat down on a rock and grinned a little more, "I mean 'That's cowardly, and I can see in you that you're a lot of things, but a coward isn't one of them'? That's sounds like someone from an After School Special."
"Save it, Ares – I wanted to keep the kid alive and out of prison." He flashed back to his normal clothes and shook his head disgustedly, "If anyone ever has any reason to think that the Human race will never survive, there's proof enough of it – stupid people with bad ideas and armed with guns."
Ares smirked, "You DO realize that you just described most of your countrymen, right? Well, their ancestors and with how they 'won' their entire country."
"Yeah, I know – it makes me sick, actually, but there's not a damned thing I can do about it, so why bother worrying?"
Ares nodded, "So, what now? Your probation is lifted."
"Then back to LA – I have people I need to check on tomorrow." With that, Xander bade him farewell and orbed back to the Hyperion, but found Deadboy to be the only one there, and with sketches of Darla all over the place, "Oh, shit – now what?"
Angel looked up from a new drawing and grunted, "I fired them, just like I'm firing you, now get out of my building."
{Hyperion}
Angel watched as the current bane of his existence gaped a few times and then settled into an expression of controlled anger, "Excuse me? YOUR building? You may own the company, but I think you need to check the REALLY fine print on that bill of sale I gave you, Deadboy – this is MY building until I turn it over to you." Angel didn't bother – the brat probably just zapped it in there, which would make looking pointless.
"Get out of my business, then, Harris – you no longer work nor are you welcomed here." Angel went back to his drawing and immediately regretted it – Harris ripped the tablet out of his hands and blew him back without seeming to move from his spot, which made Angel fly back a few feet and skid to a stop at Xander's feet, whom then kicked him HARD, which sent him flying across the room into a wall.
"Let's get one thing straight right here and now – I never worked for you, Vampire, and if you think I'm going to let you drift back into your bring an asshole state of mind, then you have another thing coming." Gone was Xander Harris, pain in the ass geek, and in his place stood Alexander, God of Snipers, in his armor and with his sword unsheathed and pointing at his unbeating heart – Angel felt his inner demon quake slightly as he stood up and Alexander went on, "Now, what's going on? What did Darla do to you?"
"Nothing, boy, and I would kindly ask you to put that pig sticker away before I take it away from you and ..." Angel trailed off as he saw all emotion leave Alexander's face, meaning all of the anger, and backed up slightly, "Alright, let me rephrase that."
"Please do."
"Darla and I have a bond that you can't begin to imagine, Xander – she is my Sire, and even with my soul she still has a strong influence on me. I don't want anyone else getting hurt because of that, so I let them all go."
"And hurt them all very much so in the process. You know, for someone who's seen the past two and a half centuries, you really are stupid, aren't you, Vampire." The former Zeppo walked towards him and Angel felt his inner demon do the best it could to take control so it could run away from the openly seething demi-god, "Did you possibly consider that, now that she's been reborn, Darla doesn't have any more power than you allow her to have? DRU turned her, so she is your grandchilde, technically, and anything that might have been there before is GONE! Great Zeus why did you let vampires become so stupid and such drama queens?"
Angel silently simmered, "As opposed to?" Xander didn't answer him, stomping off to the lobby, where he was swearing fluently in Ancient Greek, Latin, and Egyptian. Angel merely at in his office, wondering if what Xander said was true – yes, Darla had been sired this time around by Dru, thus making her his grandchilde, and thus erasing the Sire/Childe bond. Angel then sighed – once again Xander proved his way of thinking not only wrong, but had also proved to him that shoe leather was about as much fun to eat as crow.
Xander came back into the room, now dressed in his regular clothing again, "Where are they? Where would Cordy and the others go?"
{Caritas}
"This sucks."
The entire room stopped and looked at the speaker, as those two words, in that order and in that connotation, had never passed their lips – it was a milestone, a defining moment and an omen all rolled into one. All was quiet for a few moments and then that silence was broken as Kate snorted, "Amen, Wes."
Cordelia looked up from her mimosa as Lorne idly flipped through the selections of songs for something to sing in the silent club, "Where in the hell does he get off telling us all of that stuff?"
"You know all vampires are drama queens, Queen C." Kate arched a dark eyebrow as Xander orbed into the bar, in his dress-down clothing, and took a seat next to herself, slinging an arm around her shoulders and drawing her close, something that Kate reveled in for a moment, "That aside, it's really shaking up his entire sense of the world and his memories."
"Really? And why's that?" 'Snippy' could have described Cordelia's tone rather well, 'bitchy' was another word, but Xander appeared to take it all in stride.
"Think about it – what if for as long as you've ever known them, your parents are in one set pattern, and then one day, out of the clear blue, your mother is suddenly your granddaughter; trust me, even on the Hellmouth and with out families, that's more than a little weird."
"So you're defending him?"
Xander looked over at her, "No, in fact I'm going to kick his ass once all of this is settled, but how about we deal with getting you guys back to the Hotel, settled back in and then we'll deal with this in a truly adult fashion."
Lorne looked up from his music selections, "I say we burn everything in his closet." Cordelia perked up at this, and Kate had to admit that she did too, but Xander only sighed, as did Wesley – Gunn, incidentally, was asleep.
Kate looked over as Xander got to his feet and went behind the bar, "So, where've you been?"
He gave her a lop-sided smile, "Aw, did you miss me?"
Even as Cordelia snorted, Kate scowled, "No, in fact it was rather quiet without you and your sense of humor around." She smiled at his wounded pose and went on, "Actually, I was just kind of curious."
Xander shrugged as he poured himself a cola, "Not much – restructuring the entire Amazon nation with Lady Artemis, recruiting snipers, recruiting more Amazons, recruiting more snipers and Warriors for Ares, the usual." He drank the cola as if nothing happened.
Wes goggled at this, "The Amazon nation? When did this happen? Where did this happen?"
"Not important, Wes – all that is important now is that it's functioning properly and slowly becoming the force it once was."
Cordelia chipped in her two cents, "Alright, WHY are you doing this? I mean, we have thing under control, right?"
"Right ... for now. There's a war coming, Cor, and it's one that will be so large that every deity in every religion will be gathering their warriors in a place and at a time when they are needed to hold back the tide – only thing is that nobody but God knows when and God isn't telling us anything, so we're preparing."
Cordelia went on as Kate got to her feet and went around the bar, "And why did this nation need restructuring? Isn't Artie a goddess or something?"
Xander looked at Cordelia oddly, "Don't call her that, Cordy – she hates it. And for your information, do you remember how much of a snot Buffy could be back in the day? All holier than thou and shit like that?" Cordelia nodded, her eyes dawning with some sort of recognition that Kate didn't know of, "Imagine an entire nation of girls like that, and others, and you have a problem when they suddenly start thinking that they are in charge, rather than Lady Artemis. I went with her to speak with them, played the heavy, and she took away their powers as Amazons, making them EARN the right, and so far it seems to be working."
Kate frowned a little, "So, you're loaning out your people to other gods?"
"Essentially, but it's more like they are allowing my people in their own armies – female snipers in the Amazons, male in the Warriors, stuff like that." He finished off his cola and washed the glass out, "Besides, it would be a logistical nightmare for me to keep an entire Corps of people at the ready on their own rather than having them seeded within other groups – much easier on myself and the others."
Wes then stood, "So, I take it you have come here to tell us that we are once again welcome at our joint venture?"
Xander nodded, "Yeah, but I'm also here for my shift as bartender." He pulled on an apron, "Somewhat surprisingly, I'm actually kind of good at it."
{Later – Hyperion Hotel}
Angel, Xander was happy to see, looked like a puppy that had not only been kicked repeatedly, but had also been tossed in a clothes drier without the heating element and put on the extended drying cycle. Currently Cordelia was being led away from Angel by Gunn, whom had torn into the souled vampire first, then Wes, then Kate and then Cordelia, which left Lorne, but said individual was still at Caritas, working on the books. He knew that the Master Vampire with a soul was generally sorry about what he had done, but still, Angel-Bashing was almost as much fun as verbally gutting Buffy on occasion.
"Hey, Kid." Ares teleported down next to him, spooking most present, and he grinned, "I've got some good news, and I've got some bad news, Kid – which one do you want first?"
Xander sighed, hating it when conversations started like that, "What's the bed news, Ares?"
Ares' grin grew a little, "You just drew babysitting duty."
He cast his mind back to the recent births of any and all deities, reincarnations, their actual children and such, and came up blank as to anyone who would need a babysitter, "Alright, I'll bite – what's the good news?"
"The Amazons are the ones your babysitting." He could feel Gunn perk up at this even as he sighed, "Artemis, Athena, and the rest of us have a big Multi-verse Deity meeting to get to, Full gods only, and someone needs to keep watch over the kids."
"What about Hercules? He's only a demi-god, too." The thought of being in charge of a bunch of girls, to most males, was a godsend, but with a bunch of girls who had a major mad-on with him, it would get very ugly, very quickly.
"Sorry, half-pint, but you've got the ball this time – don't drop it or them." With that, Ares teleported away and Xander sat down with a sigh.
"What the hell am I going to do with that bunch of heathens?"
Kate looked at him oddly, "You're a demi-god, right? MAKE them respect you."
Xander snorted, "They were once, and now want to be again, Amazons – trust me, anything with the 'Y' chromosome, regardless of their rank, is pretty much screwed." He sat down in his chair and sighed, "What else can go wrong?" He groaned as the others looked at him, not believing he had said that, and it was at that point that the doors opened, letting someone in.
"Where are you, Harris! You owe me an explanation for vanishing from the parking lot – literally!" Standing in the lobby was Cecile Hawk, dressed in a pair of jeans, a tight t-shirt and wearing a snarl on her face as she walked up to him, "I want answers."
Even in the back of his mind, he was sure he could hear both Strife and Discord howling in laughter.
