Chapter 16: Breaking Point
Ethan couldn't sleep at all. He lay awake all night, thinking about Brooke...thinking about the two of them. "Nikki can sure screw up lives, "he thought as he drove along. Although things around were still up in confusion, there was one thing he surely knew. He loves Brooke and he's not going to lose her. "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me...Nikki shouldn't have to come between us," he told himself as he determinedly kept his eyes on the road.
Jake rushed over to the girls' apartment early in the morning. Brooke called him, sounding very upset. She said she needed to tell him something really urgent. When she especially said that it had something to do with Jenny, Jake decided to go immediately. "Could Nikki be back?" he asked himself fearfully as he drove.
He hurriedly parked the car in front of the 2-storey apartment and jumped out. He rang the doorbell nervously and waited for someone to open the door. As the door opened, Brooke's face appeared in the doorway. Her eyes were swollen. She had obviously spent the whole night crying. "Come on up," she softly said as she opened the door to let Jake in.
Jake looked even more confused when he saw Brooke. Nevertheless, he just nodded and followed her inside. As they reached the living room, he decided to ask, "Brooke, what happened?"
Brooke collapsed into the couch and buried her face in her hands as she started to cry, "Jake...it's Nikki."
Hearing his ex-girlfriend's name made Jake even more anxious, "What about Nikki?"
Brooke looked straight at him as she continued to cry, "Jake, she's Ethan's sister. I found out when we went to his family ranch this weekend."
"Jake, Jenny could be in trouble," said Peyton as she walked into the living room. Peyton felt bad for her best friend, she has not stopped crying since Haley and her got back home yesterday.
Jake just nodded as stood still, visibly in shock. Taking a deep breath, Brooke looked intently at Jake, "I'm so sorry Jake, but I told her family about Jenny."
"You what?" exclaimed Jake. He was getting even more worried.
"But I didn't tell them where you were...that's why Ethan and I are on the rocks right now," she explained as she buried her face in her hands again and started to cry even harder.
Jake felt quite relieved in knowing that Nikki still didn't know where they were. Suddenly, he felt the urge to go over to Brooke. As he did, Brooke found herself letting Jake wrap his arms around her, "Jake, I think I lost him."
"I'm so sorry about this, Brooke," Jake said as he smoothed her hair.
Peyton just stood still while watching them when the doorbell unexpectedly rang. As she opened the door, she was surprised to see Ethan standing outside. "I need to see her," Ethan said as he walked in and rushed upstairs.
He was not prepared for what he saw when he reached the living room. His girlfriend was in Jake's arms as she continued to cry. "I guess this is why you didn't want my sister to know," he remarked as he glared at them.
Brooke looked up and saw Ethan who looking furiously at her. "Ethan, it's not what you think..."desperately explained Brooke as she stood up, tears just kept flowing from her eyes.
Ethan let out a sarcastic laugh, "C'mon Brooke, admit it. You just want to be Jenny's mother!"
This time Jake has heard enough, his friend didn't deserve this from Ethan. Jake went near Ethan and looked at him with a serious expression on his face, "Give her a break man, she's only trying to help!"
Ethan looked at Jake furiously, "You ruined my sister's life and now, you're stealing me girlfriend?"
Jake was about to jump at him in anger when Peyton stood in between Ethan and Jake. She put an arm on Jake's shoulder, "C'mon Jake, just back off."
Realizing he doesn't want anymore trouble, he followed Peyton's advice and turned away from Ethan. He went back immediately to Brooke's side and hugged her as she continued to cry. He, nevertheless, kept his eyes fixed on Ethan, "She doesn't deserve you man, she doesn't deserve you at all!"
Suddenly, Ethan realized that he had only made things worse. Feeling remorse building up inside him, he stormed off and left the apartment. Peyton ran over to Brooke's side as Jake went to the kitchen to make her some tea. As she sat beside her, Brooke leaned on her shoulder, "Peyton, I think I lost him."
Peyton gave her friend a sympathetic look, "It shouldn't be your loss, Brooke. I think you deserve much better than Ethan."
Brooke's face grew more upset, "I love him, Peyt."
Peyton just let out a sigh, "I know...I bet so does he."
Suddenly, Haley appeared in the living room, not aware of what had just happened. As soon as she saw Brooke's tear-stained face though, she knew something was terribly wrong. "Brooke, what happened?" Haley asked as she rushed over to her friend and put an arm around her shoulders.
"Ethan dumped me!" Brooke explained as she continued to sob.
Peyton tried to console her friend, "C'mon Brooke, he didn't say that."
"But I bet he would've since he already thinks I'm dating Jake behind his back!" said Brooke as rested her head on Haley's shoulder.
Haley felt really sorry for her friend, "I would love to stay with you the whole day but..."
Brooke suddenly cut her off, "Don't be silly. You and Peyton go to class. I'll just stay here and...try not to kill myself."
Suddenly Jake appeared carrying a tray in his hand. He settled Brooke's tea on the table and turned to the girls, "Uh...Brooke, I would love to stay with you today. I mean...I've caused you too much trouble already, it's the least that I could do."
Brooke gave him a sly smile as she thought for a moment, "Well, what the hell...I'm guilty in his eyes anyway...thanks Jake!"
Jake smiled as he nodded, "I'm just 'gonna go pick up Jenny and come back." With that, he waved good-bye to the girls and left.
Later that afternoon, Peyton attended her literature class. She leaned back into her chair and let out a heavy sigh. All that has happened earlier that day left her quite exhausted. She just wanted to go home and stay in bed. Suddenly, Lucas walked in. "Damn, I forgot the poem!" she told herself as she remembered her assignment for class.
Lucas avoided Peyton's eyes as he settled onto a seat. "I guess it would be best if I start forgetting about her," he thought as found himself flipping through the pages of a book.
Peyton could not help but steal glances at Lucas as she hoped he'd at least talk to her, "I guess Brooke's not the only one with a screwed up love life!"
Suddenly, one of the guys in their class came up to Lucas, "Hey man!"
Lucas just gave him a sly smile since he had no idea who he was, "Uh...hey!"
"So, you got a big game on Thursday, right?" asked the guy in a cheery voice.
Lucas nodded, "Yeah...it's 'gonna be exciting...mine and my brother's first game here."
The guy just nodded as he smiled, "Well, I bet everyone's 'gonna be there...good luck man!" With that, he gave Lucas a pat on the back as he went to his seat.
Lucas just smiled as he called out, "Thanks." "But I bet she won't be there," said Lucas in his head as he stole a quick intent glance at Peyton.
Soon, their Professor Jennings arrived and there was a complete silence in the room. "I hope you all remembered your assignment for the week," he began as he settled a pile of books on his desk. He took out his reading glasses from his briefcase. After putting them on, he turned to face his class, "Alright, we are pressed for time today so not all of you will be reciting. I've already picked the ones who will and..." He paused as he took out a sheet of paper, "the first one would be Mr. Drew, Ms. File, Mr. Wane, Ms. Cruz, Ms.Mckenzie, Mr. Lee, Mr. Keagan and Mr. Scott."
Lucas looked up and nodded. Professor Jenning suddenly cleared his throat, "Now that you know who goes after what, we can begin."
Gary Drew immediately stood up and walked to the front of the class. At the professor's nod, he explained why he chose the poem and recited it. Soon, the other six students followed. Finally, it was Lucas' turn. He took a deep breath as he stood up and walked to the front of the class. He held a piece of paper with one hand while he put the other inside his pocket.
He looked down for awhile as if to compose himself. Taking a deep breath, he looked up and began to speak, "Well, I chose this poem because it captured how I feel about someone right now. It's from "Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair" written by Pablo Neruda."
He took a deep breath. "This is for you, Peyt," he said to her in his mind as he turned to look at her with a solemn expression on his face. Letting out a heavy sigh, he began to recite the poem:
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write for example, 'The night is shattered
And the blue stars shiver in the distance.'
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
And these the last verses that I write for her.
Peyton quickly brushed the tears that formed in her eyes. Now, she knew just how bad she had made Lucas feel. "He has given up on me," she thought sadly as she looked out to avoid his gaze.
Meanwhile, the class remained in silence as Lucas found himself looking straight at Peyton. After awhile, Professor Jennings cleared his throat, "Alright, that's all for today. Good work, Mr. Scott." With that, everyone in class stood up and left...everyone but two people who were still absorbed by Pablo Neruda's poem.
After a moment of silence, Peyton realized she wasn't the only one who stayed inside the room. Quickly, she stood up and began to gather her stuff.
"Peyton..." Lucas began softly as he approached her.
Peyton turned around to face him, "Lucas, I swear I'm so sorry..." She was about to take a final shot in getting him back when Lucas interrupted her.
"I don't need to you to explain, Peyton. Please...just hear me out," he said with a sly smile. Taking a deep breath, he went on, "Ever since we were in Tree Hill, I've always had feeling for you, Peyton...feelings I never had for any other girl...I've always loved you and I guess, I always will."
Peyton looked at him with a remorseful expression on her face as she continued to hear him out. She wanted to say she loves him too, but somehow, she felt she couldn't.
Lucas let out a sad laugh as tears started to roll down his cheeks, "You kept going when everyone else put me down...you were the reason I came back. I guess, what I'm saying is...it will always be you, Peyton...but I guess, you don't feel the same way..." He took another deep breath before he continued, "That poem...was for you. It probably covers everything I have wanted to tell you since I realized you love someone else."
Lucas just nodded a good-bye as he turned his back on Peyton. Before he left the room, however, he turned around to face her again, "How I love you, Peyton." With that, he disappeared from her sight. All Peyton could do was sit back down as tears started falling from her eyes.
Nathan was angrily dribbling the ball as he practiced by himself inside the school gym. He threw the ball with immense force that it hit the backboard pretty hard. Suddenly, Coach Fowler appeared and caught the ball. He threw it back at Nathan who caught it expertly and immediately threw it for a shot. "I didn't realize you were still here, Coach," remarked Nathan as the coach approached him.
Coach Fowler gave him a sly smile, "Well, I didn't realize you so mad at somebody, Nathan."
Nathan caught the ball and let out a heavy sigh before he turned to face Coach Fowler, "Well, I'm mad at myself."
Coach Fowler looked at him intriguingly, "For what?"
Nathan looked at him with remorse, "For being such a jackass!"
Coach Fowler just laughed, "It comes with the basketball player title, Nathan! We're all jackasses here one way or another!"
Nathan just smiled as he held the ball in his hand, "But not everyone becomes a jackass to their girlfriend."
Coach Fowler nodded understandingly, "You and Haley must've ended things pretty badly back then."
Nathan nodded as he looked down, "Yeah, back in high school...but it still feels like it was only yesterday. I guess...I never really got over her."
"Maybe because you never really got over the reason why you two broke up," the coach pointed out.
Nathan guiltily nodded, "It was my fault coach...I don't know...I guess I'm so torn between being a great basketball player and being a good boyfriend. I mean, I really 'wanna go places with the way I play."
Coach Fowler just smiled, "I know what you mean, son. Just remember, when you're faced with these things...the best thing to do is to ask yourself what makes you happy. What makes you smile every morning when you wake up? What is that thing that makes you feel like all hell can break lose but it won't matter?" With that, he gave Nathan a pat on the back before he left.
"Thanks coach," called out Nathan as he found himself staring at the basketball ring.
Peyton still felt unable to move after what had just happened. Although she had stopped crying, she still could not take Lucas' sad face off her mind. She just found herself doing a sketch in her notepad. It was of Lucas' sad face with the words, "How I love you..." Peyton pouted slightly as she looked at the face she had just drawn. "I love you too," she said to the picture softly.
