New Year Tricks

Chapter 7: Old Lady to the Rescue

By Skadi…Artemis –someone!

A/n: hello, readers. I am sad to say that Artemis has passed away in the desert's heat. Her untimely death is the reason for the long wait on chapter seven. Please bear with me and Ebony. Artemis has asked me to continue this story, in her place…

Artemis : AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! What's with you Skadi?! I'm not dead!!! Look!!!

Skadi:o.O

Artemis :Stupid ice witch…

Skadi: [seething] Ebony…

Ebony: squeak [hides behind Artemis]

Artemis :Oh shucks…don't tell me you fell for that, Skadi!

Skadi: [seething]

Artemis :Skadi?

Skadi: forms ice bolt in her hand You will pay, Ebony Akropoulos!

Ebony: eek! Help! SHE'S GONNA STUFF AN ICE BOLT UP MY BEHIND!!! runs away

Skadi: come back here you evil brat!!! [runs after ebony]

Artemis : sweatdrops oKay…here's chapter seven…

The plump, squat Rambashi sat close to the lighted embers of the bonfire, while his men scurried about to and fro, preparing dinner. The moon was now high above, in the sky, clear and pale. From everywhere, sounds of pattering feet, and ordering voices could be heard.

Proud Rambashi just sat there, stroking his headdress of tattered peacock feathers. The small bandit leader was a good bit shorter than Kouji, even with his pompous hat on. His small, beady eyes saw most things, including Tommy, who was desperately trying to wriggle his way out of the ropes that were binding his body.

Laughing cruelly, the bandit leader scoffed at the boy's feeble attempts.

"In vain, boy, in vain. Those ropes are as firm as a python's body, I tell you."

Tommy, upon seeing the little bandit-leader, gave him a full-fledged, jumbo-sized glare. The young boy didn't cease his struggling, however.

Beside him, lay an unconscious Kouji, still knocked out after being hit at the back of his head. Takuya was close by, sullenly watching every move that the bandits made. He pulled his cap lower on his head,struggling awkwardly with his tied hands. Unvoiced thoughts ran through his mind. 'How could I get my friends into this?' 'why didn't I notice that Tommy was missing?' 'argh, I'm the leader, but look at the mess I got the guys into.'

Izumi hadn't said a word, since they were captured. She sat there,with one had near Kouji's, and the other balancing her chin.

The moon was full, in the gray sky, and not even a single star was out. It seemed that the night was fit for the sullen moods of our unfortunate friends.

Junpei sat there, watching the fire's glow. He was entranced by the dancing flame, which sent radical ideas into his imagniative mind. Like a plan of escape. The eldest in the group toyed with the idea of getting hold of one of the bandits' knives. Then, he would use the blade to cut his friends loose, and for once, be the hero of the whole adventure.

"yeah…that sounds pretty good! Junpei Shibayama, the savior of four distraught children in China…hmmm…" the fifteen year old mused to himself, contemplating the possibilities.

By the bonfire, the bandit Mujin's senses were aroused. He turned to face Junpei in wolflike demanour, with flashing golden eyes. Seeing the boy's terror-stricken face, the man laughed cruelly. "Go ahead." He sneered. "Escape. Cut your friends away and run like frightened rabbits. Rambashi will get you. I will get you." The man's scarred face looked even more frightening in the crackling fire.

As Junpei was being interrogated by the flea-bitten scoundrel that was Mujin, a boy named Kouji was beginning to come to his senses.

"ow…" he rubbed his forehead tenderly, feeling the spot that had been damaged the most. Kouji lifted his hand, only to have it pushed down. The boy blinked. All he could see were shapeless blotches of color, with no definite source. They were just floating around…

the colors suddenly morphed into one, as Kouji's sight grew clearer. It was Izumi.

"Kouji, are you alright?" she asked. There were stains of dirt on her cheeks, and her soft hands were slightly rough. Kouji took in all these bits of information, before wondering if he was in heaven yet. And if izumi was an angel.

"Kouji?"

then he heard Takuya's voice. Nope. Not in heaven. Kouji groaned, as Izumi helped him prop himself up on the wall. As she did this, a dozen questions arose in his mind all at once.

Where were they?

What of the bandits?

Henry?

Alice?

Where was Kirschey?

Was Tommy safe?

"Calm down, Koj." Assured Izumi, caling him by his nickname. She had noticed his rapid breathing, and his cold sweat. "we're okay." She glanced at Tommy, who was clutching Hannah's camera. "All of us." She added.

All he could do was nod; inside, he was thinking of a way to get out. Sitting against the wall, Kouji closed his eyes. A moment later, they flickered open. All the exits were blocked by guards. There was a bonfire, in the middle. He blinked. And there was a fat guy in front of it.

The leader,

Rambashi.

It was then that Kouji noticed, that all their hands were bound. He didn't sense it in the first place: Izumi had helped him up despite her difficulty…why was this? He turned to said person, inspecting her silently, but thoroughly. Was she sick or something?

Izumi caught this and looked at Kouji quizzically. What in the world was he doing? A voicee broke through their thoughts.

"Now's not the time to be staring at each other y'know…"

in a rapid movement, both heads were turned to Takuya Kanabara, who smirked.

Izumi instinctively prepeared to yell at him, but was stopped short by Kouji. he narrowed his eyes, and gestured to a moving shadow that did not belong to any one of the bandits, or them.

Mujin noticed it too, because he backed away from Junpei, and sniffed the cold air.

"What? What's wrong Mujin?" demanded Rambashi, glaring squarely at his comerade. The wolflike man just glared at the shadow and muttered something under his breath. "we have an intruder."

"Did you hear that, guys? Someone's gonna save us!" squealed Tommy, who was obviously excited. Takuya nodded encouragingly, while Izumi just smiled in a strained sort of way. Kouji kept silent.

The shadow moved swiftly and nimbly from step to step, from rock to rock. It rapelled skillfully down the great wall, making its way stealthily to the Bandits' campout. Enraged, Rambashi stood up, and immediately sent several of his men to go and investigate.

A few tense moments of silence followed, revealing nothing but even more silence. Junpei shifted uneasily. Then, a few shouts and some scuffling heard, along with some incessant chatter.

Izumi's head jerked up at this, because it sounded quite familiar…

"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!"

And before anyone knew it, something old and bony leaped down from the wall, yelling battle cries and obscenities as it went. The person was dressed in a ninja suit, and had two sharp knives in his/her hands. "Die you worthless pieces of flesh!" a shrill voicec echoed into the night sky. Tommy sat up rigidly. That was a woman's voice.

In response, about ten to fifteen other voices sounded, some gravelly, some squeaky, and some that sounded like a bullfrog's croak. But what mattered is that they were going to be saved…saved at long last!

Takuya watched in amazement, as people suddenly leaped down from the walls, brandishing all sorts of weapons. There was even one with a frying pan.

Rambashi the bandit was now standing up, trying to draw himself to full height. The short, fat man's face was crimson with anger, and his voice was indignant.

"How dare you—who are you people to invade my camp?" he pointed a chubby finger at the first ninja-suited person. The woman.

"well, SPEAK!!!!"

the ninja-lady just ripped of her mask in reply.

AUDIENCE: gasp

Junpei's eyes bugged out. Tommy looked like he was going to cry. Takuya didn't want to laugh. And Izumi tried to repress some four-lettered words. Kouji just rolled his eyes.

"Hey…isn't that Henry's grandma?" Tommy was the first to speak, pointing out the elderly woman.

"Yeah." Sighed Takuya, sweatdropping. Mei-li smiled and waved to them. Izumi was the only one who waved back. Seeing that the other's didn't, the group's only female hissed at them. "come on, you guys! Show some respect here!" she muttered, through clenched teeth.

Kouji sighed. "Izumi…we're tied up by a bunch of weirdos, cold, hungry, and desolate. We've been here for a while, and our only from of rescue is someone's grandma. You expect us to wave back?" the ice was evident in his voice. The girl rolled her eyes. "Tommy?" she asked.

Tommy sighed, and waved to Mei-Li, who nodded in approval. The old lady then turned her attention to Rambashi.

"give us the children." She stated.

Rambashi trued hard not to laugh.

"What if we don't want you?" he sneered.

Mei-Li remained calm. "Then we will make you."

Rambashi snorted. "You and what army?"

Suddenly, another one of the ninjas ripped off their mask. It was Guo Chu, president of the Chinese Elders Club.

"I will help rescue the children." He said.

One by one, all the ninjas ripped off their masks, revealing the senior citizens living in the Wongs' neighborhood.

"I will rescue the children"

"I shall rescue them."

"I will help Mei-Li rescue the children."

"me too!"

"Amen, brother!"

They all thought that they were going to die of embarassment.

"Now I know how Izumi felt when she sat on bubblegum in Math class…" Takuya muttered, pulling his hat down.

"Takuya!" she scolded, glaring at him. the goggle-head just sat back and whistled, ignoring her.

"shhh…" said Tommy. "Rambashi's talking!"

indeed, the fat bandit leader was. He laughed, bellowing into the night sky.

"hah…haha…hahaha…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHIHIHIHIHIHI…BRUWHAHAHAHA!!!" when he was finished laughing himself senseless, the man turned to Mei-Li.

"why don't we wait a few mintues, to see who's going to die of old age first, huh? Hahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!" Rambashi rolled on the floor, laughing, unaware of the angered looks growing on the senior citizens' faces.

"Uhhh…boss?" said one of the bandits. Rambashi shot him a sharp glance. "What? Don't tell me your afraid of them?"

the man just pointed to Mei-Li…

the old woman towered behid Rambashi, giving the small man the best death glare that she could muster. She held up her knives.

"Your end is near, mongolian." She whispered.

-the battle scene was deleted, due to extreme violence, and grgannies beating up full-grown men. We apologize for the inconvenience.-

"I think I could make a movie out of this" said Izumi. "How about 'My grandmother's a ninja?'" offered Tommy, engrossed in the battle of sorts, taking place in between the bandits and the old people.

"Yeah…that would definitely sell…" said Kouji.

presently, one of the old dudes came up, and used his butcher's knife to cut through the ropes that bound them.

"woohooo!!! We're free!!!" exuberated Junpei, rubbing his wrists.

"Yeah" agreed Izumi, tugging at her wrist, which was still attached by the cloth snake to Kouji's.

Takuya's face suddenly lit up with opportunity. "hey! Let's ask the old guy to slash the snake-thingy!"

He tapped the man on his shoulder, and gestured to the snake. The guy nodded, drawing his blade. The stainless steel flashed in the firelight, as mr. Chang brought it down on the snake. Kouji almost wished that it wouldn't work…

"Bounce!"

ach. Even a butcher's knife wouldn't cut through it. What now? "Hey, maybe we could use Takuya's head! It's pretty hard, isn't it?" piped up Tommy.

Takuya just glared at him. "What do you mean by that?" he asked. The younger boy just shrugged. "You're a smart boy…I think you already know." He replied.

"Why you little—" Takuya began to chase Tommy, but was stopped short by Kouji. the goggle-head struggled against kouji's grasp, but it was no use. "Let him go. We have to get out of here." Said the boy.

Izumi tugged at Kouji's sleeve. "let's go!" Kouji nodded, and squeezed her hand. Izumi looked bewildered at this, but she didn't pull away. While the senior citizens distracted the bandits, the teenagers made a hasty getaway, grabbing several ropes that hung conveniently from the wall.

"up!"

Kouji couldn't climb properly, due to the snake that bound Izumi and himself. he looked down at her, struggling to climb the rope. He sighed. The voice in his head scolded him again. 'kouji! you're going to regret this! You are, I'm telling you!!!' and oh boy, Kouji knew that the voice was right. 'for once, you're correct.' He replied mentally, preparing himself for what he was going to do.

"Izumi."

She looked up at the person who had called her name.

"yeah?"

"here. We can't climb it, because of the snake." Kouji held out a hand for her.

Izumi frowned.

"but how will holding you hand help?" she asked.

Kouji sighed. Yup, his plan was easier said than done.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

They both looked up in surprise, as an old lady battered Mujin with her burger flipper.

"Quick! The bandits might catch us!" he warned, holding out his hand.

"But I just don't get it…" mused Izumi, before she was roughly pulled to Kouji's'side.

"wha--?" the surprised girl was slienced, and a visible blush was creeping up her face.

"Kouji---"

"shh. Hold on to my back." He ordered, taking a firm hold onto the rope.

Izumi nodded, shakily putting her hand on his shoulder. The other one lay clasped in one of his own, attached by the cloth snake.

"tight." He added.

Izumi just nodded.

Slowly, steadily, they made their way up the rope, dangling dangerously above the ground. Takuya, Tommy, and Junpei were halfway up already. Izumi gripped Kouji's shoulders tightly, leaning her head against his back. The boy stiffened at this.

"come on." He whispered. "we're almost there."

Artemis: yes! Yes! I'm done! Yay! No…not with the fic…just chapter seven. Anyway, I think you all know that this is nearing the end, but one question still remains…WILL THEY EVER GET THE SNAKE OFF? Chapter eight will come when it can! And as for the long waiting period…welll, sorry. I had other things to do.

Skadi: grrrrmmmm…

Artemis: come on, Skadi. We still have about two chapters to go!…you can't let your morale down, y'know.

Skadi: artemis, my morale has been down ever since you asked me to edit this thing. I'm the moody, depressed, angsty sort of person remember? SMILING IS NOT A HABIT!!!!

Artemis: okay, okay…[sweatdrops] someone's in a bad mood today. Oh well. To you guys… I'd like to announce that I'm changing my penname to Carbonated Armadillo, angel, author, or anything that starts with the letter 'A'…except Artemis. As for the sequel…I think I'm dumping it, unless one of you guys have the kindness to co-author it. That's it for now. See ya next chappie!