::squeaks with joy and runs around in circles:: Thank you everyone!!! I
know that chapter four was my worst chapter, but thank you to everyone who
reviewed anyways! ::huggles::
To my reviewers: I'm really sorry, but I'm getting way too many reviews to post replies to each! I really love reading each review, and I really love finding I've gotten two or three more reviews than I could have hoped, but It's getting just a tad too hard. As requested, there is Peachblossom in this chapter! And maybe a little bit of Dom, too...
::sniff sniff:: thank you to all who reviewed! ::sob:: you guys make my day! (Do you ::sniffle:: think I'm too dramatic?...Nah!)
Disclaimer: Hmmm...I think the main question now is whether I have to write one of these miserable, irritating bits of information for each chapter...'cause I think you /all/ understand that the score is:
Tamora Pierce: 9999999999999999 (the characters, the settings, the attitudes, heck! Even the flesh-eating unicorns)
Fanta: -1 (the plot, ::boooo::)
IMPORTANT: READ THIS Everyone, just to make sure you all understand this, I DID NOT make up the unicorn myth about a maiden being able to tame them!!! That is an old myth that's in lots of childrens books everywhere. I did add the part about it working on flesh-eating unicorns, and about it turning them back to normal, but I DID NOT make up the myth!!!
Before the stalling takes its toll...
()()()()()()()()()()
Chapter Five: Bandits
Domitan of Masbolle sat in his bedroll. He hadn't been able to sleep at all and it was one o'clock in the morning. He knew he should rest, for he would most likely lead a squad to dig mass-buriel grave sites in the morning. But he 't.
He kept replaying the scene that had happened about fifteen hours before in his head. There was something wrong with the way it happened.
When he hadn't been able to move, along with the rest of third company, and Kel had been, they had all thought her a goner. She had obviously been afraid, and had tried desperately to hide it behind her Yamani mask. She had turned, seeking all of the faces of her friends for encouragement, until her eyes had rested on his.
Something had happened then, something that made him feel weird inside. He had realized that she was beautiful.
Before he hadn't really even remembered that she was a girl. She had just been another guy. A comrade, a fellow fighter. He had never realised her gender before, so why should he suddenly think she was beautiful?
With a sigh he thought slowly, I guess you never know how you care about someone until you have the chance to lose them.
()()()()()()()()()()
Five days later, third company, the knights, and the unicorns, left GreenRidge. They had buried all the dead and washed away all the blood, leaving it a ghost town.
As Kel took one final look over her shoulder at GreenRidge and silently recited a Yamani prayer for all of the spirits of the dead to find their way to the Black God. She hated death of innocent people, but becoming a knight had been her way of reassuring that even if she didn't like it, she would see it always.
They were heading back to Corus. They wanted to explain what had happened with the unicorns as soon as possible to those who should know: Numair Salmalin, the most powerful mage in Tortall, Veralidaine Sarrasri, the WildMage, and King Jonathan.
Kel rode on Hoshi. Peachblossom had been more irritating (or as Neal had put it after being kicked into the dirt and then bit twice, "pure evil") since Nalinamar and his herd had come. Although the horse would never admit it to even Daine, Kel knew that he was just jealous. Everytime one of the unicorns approached him he would shoot it a glare that said, 'Just because we both like to bite the same two-legger doesn't mean we're friends!'
On two accounts he almost succeeded in biting off a unicorn's ear when it wasn't paying attention.
Peachblossom was tied to Hoshi's saddle. He was close enough to nip Hoshi, but whenever he seemed to be eyeing the mare with too much interest, Kel would smack him on the muzzle and say, "Don't even /think/ about it."
Ever since the unicorn scenario, Neal had stuck to Kel like a bur. He was playing the part of "big brother" and wouldn't leave her side for an instant until she threatened to stuff him in Peachblossom's stall and lock the door.
Because of Peachblossom's current mood, Neal was unnaturally quiet. Every time he started writing love poems out loud, Peachblossom would snap his teeth warningly a few inches from Neal's face or limbs.
After a while Neal gave up even trying to write love poems at all. Instead he slumped in his saddle dejectedly and muttered darkly about horses who weren't smart enough to appreciate poetry.
()()()()()()()()()()
The group was about two hours from Corus, in deep forest, when Raoul gestured for them to halt. He had seen movement in the brush.
The commander was about the signal for scouts to move ahead and investigate when bandits broke from the folaige.
Under most circumstances, Kel would have stopped to wonder how there were so many. About one-hundred-twenty men galloped forward on shaggy horses. Actually only thirty men galloped forward. The rest were on foot.
But now was no time to think. She grabbed her glaive and cut down a man who was trying to pull her from her saddle. Peachblossom trampled another man under his hooves, as if taking out all his annoyance out on this man ruthlessly.
But then the unicorns were there. They kicked in all directions with sharp hooves, spearing with horns sharper than swords, and biting. They practically flew from man to man, striking them down, goring them with horns, and biting off fingers without a thought. And Kel noticed one thing in particular: the more blood the unicorns shed, the more they started to resume their original shape. Coats turned yellow, teeth sharpened, and eyes turned scarlet.
It was over. Although usually from a band of only thirty bandits there would be surrendered men, the unicorns had killed with so much speed that none of the bandits had had time to surrender. The men of the Own simply stared at the immortals. Some with fear, some with amazement. Most with both.
Kel knew what she had to do. She dismounted Hoshi and walked slowly to the unicorns. Looking into those red eyes, she reached out a hand and simply whispered, "come back".
Once more the green mist appeared, and when it dissapeared, the unicorns were once more beautiful, graceful animals.
"I guess we know how the unicorns will help the realm," Neal stated quietly.
Behind him Peachblossom snorted with disgust. These two-leggers were going all ga-ga over these stupid horses with horns on their foreheads. And it was starting to annoy him. He shot a glance at Nalinamar that clearly declared, 'They might think you're better for now, but I'm gonna change that. I'm better than you, and I can prove it. This is war.'
::sigh:: I know that wasn't really my best chapter either, but I'm running out of ideas! My first fanfiction, and I have thirty-two reviews on my third day! I had no idea that it would be this successful!
I tried to make this chapter as long as possible, but it isn't very good, so now I don't know if I should have even bothered. Please review. I might wait a little longer than usual to post the next chapter because it seems that everytime I pick a number, I get that amout of reviews in an hour or two. I know I should jump for joy (and I am! really!), but it might take a little longer to get chapter six up because, believe it or not, I do have a life besides writing fanfiction. Ever since I started writing this story, that's pretty much all I've done. Please understand, and please review.
Fanta
To my reviewers: I'm really sorry, but I'm getting way too many reviews to post replies to each! I really love reading each review, and I really love finding I've gotten two or three more reviews than I could have hoped, but It's getting just a tad too hard. As requested, there is Peachblossom in this chapter! And maybe a little bit of Dom, too...
::sniff sniff:: thank you to all who reviewed! ::sob:: you guys make my day! (Do you ::sniffle:: think I'm too dramatic?...Nah!)
Disclaimer: Hmmm...I think the main question now is whether I have to write one of these miserable, irritating bits of information for each chapter...'cause I think you /all/ understand that the score is:
Tamora Pierce: 9999999999999999 (the characters, the settings, the attitudes, heck! Even the flesh-eating unicorns)
Fanta: -1 (the plot, ::boooo::)
IMPORTANT: READ THIS Everyone, just to make sure you all understand this, I DID NOT make up the unicorn myth about a maiden being able to tame them!!! That is an old myth that's in lots of childrens books everywhere. I did add the part about it working on flesh-eating unicorns, and about it turning them back to normal, but I DID NOT make up the myth!!!
Before the stalling takes its toll...
()()()()()()()()()()
Chapter Five: Bandits
Domitan of Masbolle sat in his bedroll. He hadn't been able to sleep at all and it was one o'clock in the morning. He knew he should rest, for he would most likely lead a squad to dig mass-buriel grave sites in the morning. But he 't.
He kept replaying the scene that had happened about fifteen hours before in his head. There was something wrong with the way it happened.
When he hadn't been able to move, along with the rest of third company, and Kel had been, they had all thought her a goner. She had obviously been afraid, and had tried desperately to hide it behind her Yamani mask. She had turned, seeking all of the faces of her friends for encouragement, until her eyes had rested on his.
Something had happened then, something that made him feel weird inside. He had realized that she was beautiful.
Before he hadn't really even remembered that she was a girl. She had just been another guy. A comrade, a fellow fighter. He had never realised her gender before, so why should he suddenly think she was beautiful?
With a sigh he thought slowly, I guess you never know how you care about someone until you have the chance to lose them.
()()()()()()()()()()
Five days later, third company, the knights, and the unicorns, left GreenRidge. They had buried all the dead and washed away all the blood, leaving it a ghost town.
As Kel took one final look over her shoulder at GreenRidge and silently recited a Yamani prayer for all of the spirits of the dead to find their way to the Black God. She hated death of innocent people, but becoming a knight had been her way of reassuring that even if she didn't like it, she would see it always.
They were heading back to Corus. They wanted to explain what had happened with the unicorns as soon as possible to those who should know: Numair Salmalin, the most powerful mage in Tortall, Veralidaine Sarrasri, the WildMage, and King Jonathan.
Kel rode on Hoshi. Peachblossom had been more irritating (or as Neal had put it after being kicked into the dirt and then bit twice, "pure evil") since Nalinamar and his herd had come. Although the horse would never admit it to even Daine, Kel knew that he was just jealous. Everytime one of the unicorns approached him he would shoot it a glare that said, 'Just because we both like to bite the same two-legger doesn't mean we're friends!'
On two accounts he almost succeeded in biting off a unicorn's ear when it wasn't paying attention.
Peachblossom was tied to Hoshi's saddle. He was close enough to nip Hoshi, but whenever he seemed to be eyeing the mare with too much interest, Kel would smack him on the muzzle and say, "Don't even /think/ about it."
Ever since the unicorn scenario, Neal had stuck to Kel like a bur. He was playing the part of "big brother" and wouldn't leave her side for an instant until she threatened to stuff him in Peachblossom's stall and lock the door.
Because of Peachblossom's current mood, Neal was unnaturally quiet. Every time he started writing love poems out loud, Peachblossom would snap his teeth warningly a few inches from Neal's face or limbs.
After a while Neal gave up even trying to write love poems at all. Instead he slumped in his saddle dejectedly and muttered darkly about horses who weren't smart enough to appreciate poetry.
()()()()()()()()()()
The group was about two hours from Corus, in deep forest, when Raoul gestured for them to halt. He had seen movement in the brush.
The commander was about the signal for scouts to move ahead and investigate when bandits broke from the folaige.
Under most circumstances, Kel would have stopped to wonder how there were so many. About one-hundred-twenty men galloped forward on shaggy horses. Actually only thirty men galloped forward. The rest were on foot.
But now was no time to think. She grabbed her glaive and cut down a man who was trying to pull her from her saddle. Peachblossom trampled another man under his hooves, as if taking out all his annoyance out on this man ruthlessly.
But then the unicorns were there. They kicked in all directions with sharp hooves, spearing with horns sharper than swords, and biting. They practically flew from man to man, striking them down, goring them with horns, and biting off fingers without a thought. And Kel noticed one thing in particular: the more blood the unicorns shed, the more they started to resume their original shape. Coats turned yellow, teeth sharpened, and eyes turned scarlet.
It was over. Although usually from a band of only thirty bandits there would be surrendered men, the unicorns had killed with so much speed that none of the bandits had had time to surrender. The men of the Own simply stared at the immortals. Some with fear, some with amazement. Most with both.
Kel knew what she had to do. She dismounted Hoshi and walked slowly to the unicorns. Looking into those red eyes, she reached out a hand and simply whispered, "come back".
Once more the green mist appeared, and when it dissapeared, the unicorns were once more beautiful, graceful animals.
"I guess we know how the unicorns will help the realm," Neal stated quietly.
Behind him Peachblossom snorted with disgust. These two-leggers were going all ga-ga over these stupid horses with horns on their foreheads. And it was starting to annoy him. He shot a glance at Nalinamar that clearly declared, 'They might think you're better for now, but I'm gonna change that. I'm better than you, and I can prove it. This is war.'
::sigh:: I know that wasn't really my best chapter either, but I'm running out of ideas! My first fanfiction, and I have thirty-two reviews on my third day! I had no idea that it would be this successful!
I tried to make this chapter as long as possible, but it isn't very good, so now I don't know if I should have even bothered. Please review. I might wait a little longer than usual to post the next chapter because it seems that everytime I pick a number, I get that amout of reviews in an hour or two. I know I should jump for joy (and I am! really!), but it might take a little longer to get chapter six up because, believe it or not, I do have a life besides writing fanfiction. Ever since I started writing this story, that's pretty much all I've done. Please understand, and please review.
Fanta
