CHAPTER NINE: INTO MORIA
Dear Readers: the following two chapters cover events that actually took place in THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING movie. I feel rather uncomfortable recounting the same events that Peter Jackson filmed so spectacularly--particularly the battles with the Watcher in the Water and inside Balin's tomb, and the Fellowship's subsequent flight. Thus I have tried to skim over them as quickly as possible. As a consequence, certain portions of these chapters may have a "rushed" feeling to them and I apologize for that. But I felt that I could not completely do away with Moria and simply have the Fellowship show up in Lothlorien.
A note to Kellyn: You are the first person to review the updated version of ELLIE'S CHOICE. Thank you so much for your kind words!
A calmer Ellie returned to the campsite just before dawn. The others were asleep, but Legolas was not. He was sitting perfectly still, as if frozen, with his head bent back against the rock wall and his long legs stretched before him. She went and stood by his side, and because she couldn't stop herself, she softly traced his chiseled jaw with one finger. The Elf closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then turned his head to meet her eyes. For a long moment, the two of them studied each other in silence. Then he smiled tenderly at her.
Ellie was relieved. "You are not angry with me anymore?" she whispered, as she sat down next to him.
The Elf shook his head. "I had no right to get angry with you in the first place. The truth is, I was not angry for long. You were honest with me, Ellie, and I appreciate that. And I respect you for holding true to your beliefs, even if I cannot agree with them."
Ellie smiled sadly. Never before had her "beliefs" weighed so heavily on her heart. But she had sworn after her mother had died that she would remain faithful to her Ilissan heritage, and she would not break that vow—not for Legolas, not even for Jamie if and when the time came for them to part. And then, because she felt she owed him this much, she said, "I want you to know, Legolas, that I understand what you were trying to tell me. I understand." She laid her hand on his arm and looked up at him, "And I thank you for understanding me."
As Legolas looked down at her solemn face, he silently vowed that he would never allow himself to be alone with Ellie again. For he knew that he would not be able to resist making her his, whatever the heartbreaking consequences.
The journey of the Fellowship became even more perilous in the days that followed. For just as they were about to set out that morning, a flock of crebain spies darkened the sky. Gandalf now knew that their planned route was being watched. So he decided to lead the travelers over the frozen mountain pass on Caradhras instead.
The climb to the pass was a long and difficult one. Both Legolas and Ellie were unaffected by the cold, but the others in the group were not so fortunate. The hobbits and Jamie in particular were in real danger of freezing to death. Ellie did what she could to radiate her heat into the young boy's body as she held him closely, but even with the Elf at her side trying to help, she could do nothing to prevent them from sinking into the deep snow with every step they took. For although she was as light on her feet as Legolas, she was unable to carry the boy, and the Elf alone could not keep Jamie warm enough. Finally, after an avalanche buried them all before they were able to reach the pass, Gandalf admitted defeat and the Fellowship turned back. They decided to try to go through the dwarven Mines of Moria next. Ellie's heart plummeted. She had always been afraid of confined spaces. And underground mines were most definitely confining.
The Fellowship did not arrive at the outer walls of Moria until after dusk two evenings later. It was a bleak, forbidding place, and a strong sense of foreboding began to invade Ellie's mind as they made their approach around a large, murky lake. There was great danger here—both inside the mines and in the dark water. Ellie could feel it.
"Legolas…" she began fearfully.
"I know, Ellie, I feel it too."
She grabbed hold of Jamie's hand and moved them both close to the Elf's side. Despite what had happened between them on the mountaintop a few days earlier, Ellie trusted Legolas wholeheartedly and knew that she was safer with him than with anyone else.
Yet, when Aragorn removed Bill's saddlebags and trappings and set him free, Ellie could not help but wish that she too could leave this place with the pony. Gandalf had just succeeded in opening the doors to the mines, and to Ellie's frightened eyes, the yawning, black hole bore an uncanny resemblance to the gaping mouth of a predatory beast. One that was poised to devour them!
Ellie's stomach heaved. I really, REALLY, don't want to go in there, she thought in dismay, fighting hard against her rising panic. A rare, cold sweat broke out over her skin, and her hot hands suddenly felt clammy. She inched ever closer to Legolas, to the point that she was actually brushing against his side. And as the two passed through the doorway, she confessed in a small, shaky voice, "I don't like walls."
"That's the Elf in you," Legolas replied, faintly amused. But Ellie appeared not to hear him, for she had turned to stare at Gimli the dwarf, who was droning on and on about food. Did I just hear him say "red meat off the bone?" she wondered, aghast, as her stomach heaved again.
Grabbing Legolas' arm in desperation, she told him, "I think I'm going to be sick!" Then, to her horror, she vomited all over his suede leather boots.
Legolas barely had time to grimace in disgust before he and everyone else noticed that the ground inside the mines was littered--for as far as they could see--with the mutilated remains of dozens, perhaps even hundreds, of dwarves. Ignoring Ellie and the mess on his boots for the time being, he pulled free of her grasp and knelt down to examine an arrow protruding from one of the bodies. He immediately recognized the crude workmanship of the wooden shaft and jagged metal tip.
"Goblin!" he exclaimed, as he jumped to his feet. With lightning speed, he pulled out an arrow of his own and notched it on his longbow. But then he noticed Ellie's gray face. She's going to be sick again! he thought, and rushed to her side, cursing in Elvish.
But she wasn't sick. Instead, Ellie was on the brink of hysteria, taking Jamie along with her as she convulsively clutched his small hand. The horrific sight of the slaughtered dwarves had brought back to them painful memories of the night Ravenwood had been destroyed. Once again, Ellie's heart was overwhelmed with grief, and her terror knew no bounds. Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods, she kept repeating in her mind. And she would have surely screamed--very loud and very long--had Legolas not forestalled her. Clamping his hand over her mouth, he embraced her, and the boy, tightly. Both of them had been shivering violently.
To the Elf's relief, Jamie relaxed almost immediately, but Ellie remained rigid in his arms. "Ellie, we're heading back," Legolas whispered reassuringly, as his concerned eyes took in her severe distress. He led them away from the grisly scene, but it wasn't until they had reached the doorway that he felt her begin to relax. "Look at me, Ellie," he demanded, and as her frightened eyes met his, he noticed with satisfaction that the sick color had left her face. "You must not scream, do you understand? You--must--not--scream." She nodded briefly, and he removed his hand from her mouth.
"And if she does scream, just knock her over the head with a rock," suggested Boromir, only half-jokingly, as he quickly walked past them and into the fresh air beyond. The smell of vomit that clung to the Elf was nauseating him.
As it turned out, luck was against Boromir and the rest of the Fellowship that night, and they were unable to remain outside for long. Just as the hobbits began to file out of the mines, a tentacled beast from the lake attacked Frodo, grabbing him by the ankle and swinging him back and forth across the water. Legolas hastily shoved Ellie into Gandalf's waiting arms and joined the others at the lake shore to rescue the little hobbit.
The Fellowship was soon forced back into the dreadful mines again, only to be trapped there by a rock-slide. With the doorway completely blocked, they were plunged into utter darkness. Legolas had been the last one to re-enter Moria, and he had not noticed Ellie in the mad rush to get away from the creature. But he was amazed that she had not yet screamed--or tried to scream. In fact, she was being very brave, for she had uttered not a sound. "I am so proud of you, Ellie," he whispered in the dark.
"Don't be," responded Gandalf in an acerbic voice. "Elanae fainted the moment she stepped back through the door!"
She awoke a short time later to the smell of pines and vomit. Her face was pressed against Legolas' chest as he carried her effortlessly through the dark heart of Moria. The fresh scent of the woodlands clung to his skin and his clothes, but they could not mask the rancid odor rising from his boots, and Ellie was filled with remorse. Poor Legolas! How you must hate me now! she thought, trying hard not to gag. She had been nothing but trouble for him from the morning they had met.
Legolas sensed that Ellie was awake and sought to soothe her before she began to panic again. "We are safe now, little one. We won't let any harm come to you." And he tenderly rubbed his cheek against the top of her head.
Ellie stared up at him with somber eyes, then turned her face away to study her surroundings. With Gandalf's wizard staff lighting the way, she was able to see that they were traveling through a huge chamber, many leagues long, and at least a half-a-league wide. The ceiling was so high above them that it seemed not to be there at all. If it weren't for the total lack of a breeze, she could almost believe that they were walking outside beneath the nighttime sky. They had left the scene of the slaughter behind them, and only a few bodies could be seen lying scattered on the cavern floor.
"You can put me down now. I will be fine," she told Legolas. And when he did, she noticed for the first time that the others were keeping a respectable distance.
Jamie was overjoyed to see Ellie awake and back on her feet. But when he ran back toward her, he stopped a few paces away and wrinkled his small nose in disgust at the foul stench. "You threw up all over Legolas, Ellie! And then you fainted!" he earnestly informed her.
"So I did," Ellie muttered with a wince, as she sneaked a peek at the beautiful Elf walking next to her. He had a stoic expression on his face, but said nothing. Even if it kills me, I won't walk away from you now! she vowed. Although she repeatedly had to choke back the bile that kept crawling up her throat, Ellie stubbornly remained at Legolas' side for the remainder of the night.
Legolas never once tried to change her mind.
They finally made camp at the top of a long, steep flight of stairs. While the men worked to start a small fire with rotting pieces of wood from the ruins of an ancient scaffold, Legolas found a couple of short swords amid some dwarven remains and handed them to Ellie. "For you and the boy, should the need arise," he told her gravely. She had an inkling that it would.
Then he settled himself against a large boulder some distance away from the campfire. He figured that there was no need for his companions to have to suffer the terrible odor emanating from his boots, and he realized that Ellie had had enough. That last bout of gagging before they had reached the top of the stairs had nearly done her in, and he certainly did not want her vomiting again.
While the other companions talked quietly among themselves, Jamie laid down his head on Ellie's lap, and asked her to sing him to sleep—something he hadn't done since he was a very young boy. She realized with a pang that he was seeking comfort in memories of the past. Ah, Jamie, if only we could go back, she thought. Ellie's feelings were bittersweet as she recalled those carefree evenings of long ago when a little boy's nighttime fears could be eased with a simple kiss and a song. Cradling his head tenderly, she began to sing in a clear, but soft voice that would not carry far:
I'll walk in the rain by your side,
I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand,
I'll do anything to keep you satisfied,
I'll love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me,
Little birds will sing along in time,
Bees will bow down when you walk by,
And morning bells will chime.
I'll be there when you're feeling down,
To kiss away the tears that you cry.
I'll share with you all the happiness I've found,
A reflection of the love in your eyes.
And I'll sing to you the songs of the rainbow,
I'll whisper of the joy that is mine,
And bees will bow down when you walk by,
And morning bells will chime.*
The others stopped to listen. And as she sang and lulled the boy to sleep, Ellie's incredible heart and gentle spirit were bared for all to see. Watching her from his lonely perch, Legolas knew that he had never loved her more than he did at that moment. And he was filled with a profound sadness to think that she was destined never to know such love as could exist between a husband and his wife, an Elf and his lover.
When she fell silent, Frodo spoke for everyone. "That was beautiful, Ellie."
She lowered wistful eyes to his. "My mother used to sing that song to me when I was a little girl."
"You must have been very lonely after she passed away," the hobbit replied. He had been orphaned as a child, and knew only too well the pain of losing a beloved parent.
"Lonely for my own kind, yes. There were no other Ilissans in Ravenwood. But I was never alone. I have had good friends." She looked at the sleeping boy in her arms and her wistful eyes became sadder. "It is a difficult thing, watching people you care about grow old and die."
Legolas spoke up from the shadows, "In Lothlorien you will be among your own kind too—and Elves don't die."
Ellie turned toward him, a surprised look on her face, as his words reminded her that she was most probably half-Elven. She nodded slowly. "Yes…that is so…"
"You are almost certain to meet your father, if he is a Lothlorien Elf," he continued. "And it was your mother who sent you there," he added pointedly.
The girl's eyes grew wide at his implication that her mother would deliberately have sent her to her father. That thought had simply not occurred to her before. "He may not remember my mother," she finally whispered. "It was so long ago."
Legolas heard her clearly and snorted in a most un-Elflike way. "If she was anything like you, he'll remember."
Around the campfire, their companions laughed.
*From the song "For Baby" by John Denver, © 1965. This was a song that I enjoyed hearing when I was a small child, and I have always thought that it would make a wonderful lullaby.
