I used a couple ideas, with permission, from Laura (ravenhaired). Thanks! ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of The Wheel of Time series.
All Else Is Nothing
I sat patiently at the table, drumming my fingers. She'd be here any minute. No one kept the Amyrlin Seat waiting, not even her—well she was different after all. But of course, I couldn't exactly be angry with her. Not for very long anyway.
I tried to think back to the last time we had seen on another. I soon gave up, however, for I realized it had been far too long. But that was to change very shortly. I would once again be face to face with her—my love. Sure we had agreed to end that part of our relationship the last time, on the basis that it was too much to be apart for any given time, and we didn't need that extra worry. And yet, I still thought about her, dreamt about her. She was, no is, the only woman I truly love. My heart skipped a beat; I would have to retain myself. This was business, my duty as Amyrlin Seat, the Tear of Tar Valon. I quickly pushed my thoughts of her to the back of my mind as I heard the door begin to open.
Leane stepped through, holding the door as another woman, barely coming to Leane's shoulder, followed. As I stiffened, my heart skipped again. Light, control yourself, woman! Leane closed the door and took her place to one side; to be seen and not heard.
I watched her as she made her way to me and did a deep curtsy saying, "As you called me, Mother, so have I come." I extended my hand to her, my eyes fixed on her beautiful face, and she kissed my Great Serpent ring. I had an instant flash as I felt her lips brush against my skin, of a time when those lips had been else where on my body. Burn me, I want her again...need her again. I blinked that thought away. I need to focus.
We began talking of events. She was careful with what she said, I could tell, with Leane present. But it was necessary and she knew that. It was difficult to bring up what the Tower suggested I do to deal with her, but I kept my cool exterior. The Red Ajah was never gentle and Elaida was sure to be among the sisters that she would be handed over to. Elaida. I tried not to think of that time. It still hurt, even after all these years.
The dark-haired woman had made a particular comment while giving me a set gaze in which I returned for a long moment. Then I understood. "Leave us, Leane. I would talk to my Daughter Moiraine alone."
I barely heard Leane's "As you wish, Mother" as I was studying Moiraine's face, searching for more than a hint. I knew word would spread through Fal Dara that I was alone with a sister, but I did not care. I had waited too long for this. At least, I was hoping I had.
I stood as soon as the Keeper had left, and channeled the One Power to ward off any listeners. I stopped in front of her. I lightly touched the blue stone she wore on her forehead as I made a comment about the tricks she does with it. I then trailed my finger across her forehead to her temple, then down her cheek, running my thumb across her lips. Every part of me wanted her, to lean forward and kiss her, but all I could manage was a hug. I felt her wrap her arms around me, pulling me against her. I closed my eyes and could feel the warmth of her body against me. I swallowed. We began to separate, but her hands stopped on my face, as mine stopped on her thin waist. Then she reached up and pressed her lips against mine. My heart skipped a beat. I had waited so long for this, not knowing if it would ever come again. My hands tightened their grip as hers moved back to become lost in my hair as I deepened our kiss.
She moaned softly when I moved my kisses across her jaw and to her neck then began to back her against the broad table. I tugged her shawl and it fell to the floor with little effort. I felt her do the same to my stole. I lifted her onto the table with ease then began to move one hand under her skirt. I could hear her breathing quicken as I rubbed her upper thigh. After a few more kisses to her collar bone, I moved down to her thigh, her nails digging into my scalp. As I was just beginning to move up, biting lightly, I heard her gasp out, "Siuan....wait..." Wait?! I must have bit harder than I thought with that shock, for she let out a yelp, not one of pleasure, but of pain...I knew the slight difference of the two.
She put her hand under my chin as I brought my head up to stare into her dark eyes for an explanation. "Wait?! Moiraine...?!" I managed to barely choke out. She stared back at me, longingly. "Yes, we must wait. There are things we must talk about first." She rested a finger against my lips as I was about to protest. "Yes, Siuan, matters of the World. We will have time for this later. I shall come to you tonight." With that, she gently kissed me and slid off the table. I sighed and nodded, then slowly walked back to my chair, picking up my stole on the way. I shall have her tonight, and the Dark One take whoever tries to stop us!
After that, we talked of serious matters. I suggested she stay longer so we could make our plans, but she shook her head. "We have been closeted alone too long already. If any did try listening and found your Warding, they will be wondering already. It is not worth the risk. We can contrive another meeting tomorrow." Yes, tonight is just for us!
"I suppose you are right. But first thing in the morning. There's so much I have to know." It would be best for her to be in her own rooms when the serving women came in. It may not be too well a kept secret, Moiraine and I, but it would still be better.
"The morning." Moiraine agreed. I rose and hugged her. I could tell she understood. "In the morning I will tell you everything you need to know." There was something in her voice—was she keeping something from me? She reached up and touched my face, offering a kiss that I returned and let linger on. She gave a quick smile I knew all too well: more to follow...much, much more. I smiled back, almost impatiently.
I watched her cross the room, my eyes stuck on her lower half. I gently shook my head and tried to look as if I had just given one of my more infamous chastises as Leane darted in. I returned to my seat in silence, a mask of no emotion now, but heavy anticipation and utter jumpiness on the inside.
I was sitting, starring in the mirror, when there was a soft knock at the door. That didn't take very long. I got up and made my way across the room, cracking open the door. Moiraine stood there, just on the other side, as beautiful as ever. I put my hand out to her and she took it. I quickly puller her inside, door closing with her body being pushed against it. My hands raced up and down her slim body, finding her dress buttons. I kissed her neck and she embraced me, starting to undo my dress.
"Siuan," she breathed, "Not by the door..." I pressed against her and made an acknowledging noise.
We started moving toward the bed, leaving a trail of clothing. I kissed skin as soon as it was revealed. As I laid her on the bed, only our shifts remained. I started kissing her, feeling her small body under mine. I had always thought I'd break her if I wasn't careful; a thought I'd had from the beginning and still, even now. She was so delicate, yet so strong. I gave a slight shiver and heard her mutter, "Lower Siuan....lower..."
I kissed down her neck while pulling up her shift up. As it came over her head, she started to do the same to mine. I began making my way down her smooth pale body, kissing every few inches. I smiled as I felt her begin to tense with anticipation. I briefly lingered at her stomach, gliding my lips across it. She moaned softly. I trailed my kisses over her hip to her thigh and I heard her take in a few quick breaths. As I began caressing her other thigh, I noticed something and sat bolt upright, eyes narrowing straight into hers.
"What is it Siuan?!" She looked at me with wide eyes while sitting up.
"This, Moiraine," I pressed on a dark circle on one thigh and she flinched, "And this." I pressed another one, but on the other thigh, and she flinched again. "Now, when we were together earlier, I know I gave you this one." I pressed on it and she flinched yet again. "But the other one..." I pushed getting the same reaction, "Is definitely not my doing. Care to explain?"
Her eyes went wild with searching for an answer but only for a moment. She straightened as best she could, us both being nude as it were. "Nyneave," she said softly but in that perfect calm she near always seemed to muster. "She was in the group that arrived with me." As I opened my mouth to start my surprise along with a few other emotions, she held up her hand so she could continue. I grudgingly shut it after wetting my lips, eyes fixed on hers.
"Now tell me, Siuan, has your own bed remained empty these past years?" Her eyebrows rose, knowing full well what the answer should be. I licked my lips again, and opened my mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. Bloody First Oath!! I swallowed and quickly jerked away, ripping my gaze from her dark, piercing eyes, hoping my face was keeping is color. I sighed long and deep, though a bit shakily.
At a side glance, I saw her slowly nod. "Just as I thought, but you should not feel guilty about it, Siuan. We made the decision to...to..." As she trailed off, I could sense she didn't want to say it. She didn't even want to back then, either. Sometimes I hated being the strong one.
"Separate," I whispered.
"Yes, when we did...that we knew what it meant." She placed a hand on my knee.
"But not how it would feel." I turned back to face her, every part of me trying to keep my tears at bay. "But not how it would feel," I repeated, a bit more hurt in my voice than I would have liked. "Light, Moiraine! After you left, and when I finally let another close enough, it was your name I still screamed. I know she heard, how could she not, but she pretended not to. As did the few others. I felt awful, but I was lonely. I didn't know if I would see you again. And if I did, if you would even want me anymore..." I ended, just barely audible, and buried my face in my hands, a few tears escaping. The hand on my knee tightened as I had finished my last sentence.
As I kept my face covered, I felt her running her hand through my hair. We stayed like that until she pulled my hands down, and took my face in her delicate hands, lifting it up. "I will always want you, and I will never, ever stop needing you, Siuan Sanche." Her own eyes were now red, her cheeks no longer dry.
"Moiraine, I..."
Just then an alarm sounded, ringing loud and true. The Light burn whatever wool-headed idiot did this, and he better hope I do not find him! I thought bitterly. I reluctantly moved off the bed and started to dress. Being the Amyrlin Seat had its perks, but this was definitely not one of them.
I turned back to Moiraine, now in her shift, to have her do up my buttons. "I'm sorry, but I..."
"Don't be, I understand." She cut in while finishing up with my dress. I turned around to looking into those large beautiful eyes again. "Such is the life of the Amyrlin Seat. I shall wait."
She smiled at me while wiping away my remaining tears. "There, can't have the Amyrlin going out looking like she's been crying after a visit to the Mistress of Novices, now can we?" I snorted, brushing a loose strand of her hair out of her face. "You over exaggerate things. I will return shortly, I hope." With a last caress of her cheek, I made my way across and out of the room, then began looking for someone to inform me of what under the Light had happened. This had better be worth it...
