The Sky is Too Far
Chapter 1 - (After)
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It took him days. I remember, just last week, sitting in front of this very same window, inside this very same room, this same hotel, staring outside, hopelessly lost, searching for him, for just a glimpse of that outstandish red leather, or a flash of tinted orange glasses, for anything. I can remember how I'd been able to hold myself up, to not address the worry and fear, among other emotions, that writhed in the very pit of my stomach. I wouldn't let it get to me, because somehow I knew that I'd see him again.
I don't know why I thought that, when I did finally see him, he would be untouched. I don't know why I thought that he'd be in wonderful condition, that he wouldn't need a recovery. Why did I think that, after a battle I can only begin to imagine, all he would need was some beer and a couple of doughnuts to get him back on his feet?
I thought all that because I had grown to love him, as much as I am, wary to admit it, and in my mind, he was untouchable.
How more wrong could I have been...
It had been Thursday, hadn't it? I'm quite sure.. I remember I'd been trying to write our report, even though my mind was so completely scrambled, I couldn't think of anything other than him. Of Vash. I'd been dazing, when I realized that Milly was standing over me, her voice peeking into my daydream. "Meryl? Meryl are you alright?" I turned slightly, flicking my wrist as I glanced up at her, fashioning a rather unconvincing smile, though I'd hoped it would be enough for Milly.
"Yes I'm fine! Just trying to finish this report, after all, we're still working, here!"
"You're worried about Vash, aren't you?"
Milly'd always been extremely perceptive when it came to someone's emotions, but I couldn't give in. My heart was screeching at me to tell her. Just tell her. She knew how I felt about Vash, and that may be true, but I wasn't ready to admit it to myself. Atleast, not outloud.
"What? Worried about that bumbling oaf? Are you kidding? Why would I possibly be worried about him? I bet you that right now, he's probably sitting down enjoying himself a nice doughnut, just fine and dandy!"
I'd tried to sound my most convincing, for her sake. I didn't want her to worry about me... not after all that she'd been through... not after all that. Whether or not she'd believed me, she nodded, smiling.
"He'll be back, Meryl."
How had she been so sure? I waited until she'd left the room, closing the door carefully behind her, before turning myself to stare outside at the dieing horizon, feeling my eyes' irritation and my throat clench slightly as tears threatened. Tears were so.. very, very persuasive.
"Fine and dandy.."
I don't know how long I finally let myself cry. Minutes? Hours, even? For however long, I cried into the palms of my hands, cried for the first time in a long while. It had almost felt cleansing.. almost. When I'd finally stopped.. I looked out the window, and almost screamed.
By the time I reached him, I was out of breath, and a stitch was forming at my side, but I didn't care. He was back! I remember him lifting his head slightly, flashing a grin, halfway through his greeting, he erupted in a fit of coughing. I barely even noticed his brother, slung over his shoulder, unconscious, as my burning side and lack of breath was quickly forgotten. It was then that I realized I had been wrong, and he was going to need alot more than just a few doughnuts. I helped support him best I could, small as I am, walking back with him, watching as Milly strode towards us, as well.
Now? I look back to that day last week and wonder why I didn't say anything to him right then. Why didn't I tell him? I felt that I should, that he deserved to know, or to atleast hear it from me. But I didn't. I had kept my mouth shut, aside from ordering him into bed once we'd secured another two rooms, one for him and the other for Knives. I had gone into Vash's room that night, to talk to him. To tell him everything. Just to empty my heart, and had found him fast asleep. I had thought, for some reason, that he'd still be awake, he had seemed fine when the doctor was in, cleaning and bandaging, and when Milly and myself had sat and watched him drink the soup we'd made.
I'd waited too long, and now I had to wait longer, all the while my courage to tell him my feelings...
...diminishing.
Chapter 1 - (After)
---- -
---- -
It took him days. I remember, just last week, sitting in front of this very same window, inside this very same room, this same hotel, staring outside, hopelessly lost, searching for him, for just a glimpse of that outstandish red leather, or a flash of tinted orange glasses, for anything. I can remember how I'd been able to hold myself up, to not address the worry and fear, among other emotions, that writhed in the very pit of my stomach. I wouldn't let it get to me, because somehow I knew that I'd see him again.
I don't know why I thought that, when I did finally see him, he would be untouched. I don't know why I thought that he'd be in wonderful condition, that he wouldn't need a recovery. Why did I think that, after a battle I can only begin to imagine, all he would need was some beer and a couple of doughnuts to get him back on his feet?
I thought all that because I had grown to love him, as much as I am, wary to admit it, and in my mind, he was untouchable.
How more wrong could I have been...
It had been Thursday, hadn't it? I'm quite sure.. I remember I'd been trying to write our report, even though my mind was so completely scrambled, I couldn't think of anything other than him. Of Vash. I'd been dazing, when I realized that Milly was standing over me, her voice peeking into my daydream. "Meryl? Meryl are you alright?" I turned slightly, flicking my wrist as I glanced up at her, fashioning a rather unconvincing smile, though I'd hoped it would be enough for Milly.
"Yes I'm fine! Just trying to finish this report, after all, we're still working, here!"
"You're worried about Vash, aren't you?"
Milly'd always been extremely perceptive when it came to someone's emotions, but I couldn't give in. My heart was screeching at me to tell her. Just tell her. She knew how I felt about Vash, and that may be true, but I wasn't ready to admit it to myself. Atleast, not outloud.
"What? Worried about that bumbling oaf? Are you kidding? Why would I possibly be worried about him? I bet you that right now, he's probably sitting down enjoying himself a nice doughnut, just fine and dandy!"
I'd tried to sound my most convincing, for her sake. I didn't want her to worry about me... not after all that she'd been through... not after all that. Whether or not she'd believed me, she nodded, smiling.
"He'll be back, Meryl."
How had she been so sure? I waited until she'd left the room, closing the door carefully behind her, before turning myself to stare outside at the dieing horizon, feeling my eyes' irritation and my throat clench slightly as tears threatened. Tears were so.. very, very persuasive.
"Fine and dandy.."
I don't know how long I finally let myself cry. Minutes? Hours, even? For however long, I cried into the palms of my hands, cried for the first time in a long while. It had almost felt cleansing.. almost. When I'd finally stopped.. I looked out the window, and almost screamed.
By the time I reached him, I was out of breath, and a stitch was forming at my side, but I didn't care. He was back! I remember him lifting his head slightly, flashing a grin, halfway through his greeting, he erupted in a fit of coughing. I barely even noticed his brother, slung over his shoulder, unconscious, as my burning side and lack of breath was quickly forgotten. It was then that I realized I had been wrong, and he was going to need alot more than just a few doughnuts. I helped support him best I could, small as I am, walking back with him, watching as Milly strode towards us, as well.
Now? I look back to that day last week and wonder why I didn't say anything to him right then. Why didn't I tell him? I felt that I should, that he deserved to know, or to atleast hear it from me. But I didn't. I had kept my mouth shut, aside from ordering him into bed once we'd secured another two rooms, one for him and the other for Knives. I had gone into Vash's room that night, to talk to him. To tell him everything. Just to empty my heart, and had found him fast asleep. I had thought, for some reason, that he'd still be awake, he had seemed fine when the doctor was in, cleaning and bandaging, and when Milly and myself had sat and watched him drink the soup we'd made.
I'd waited too long, and now I had to wait longer, all the while my courage to tell him my feelings...
...diminishing.
