"So....have you and my sister done it yet?" Dawn asked as she took a sip from her soda.
William choked on nothing. "Um, er, no.....why would you think that?"
Dawn shrugged. "I don't know. Just figured since you guys have been seeing each other for so long...."
"Oh, well, we're not....I mean....we see each other, but we're not...." Will searched for a quick way out of this conversation.
Xander cleared his throat. "Well, I for one hate the idea that Buffy's involved with another vampire. But I've never seen her this happy. Ever. So if you're the guy that does it for her, I guess you're the guy. And, uh, I know it's kind of pointless for me to give a big brother lecture or threaten you or something, seeing as you could probably toss me through the window with one hand....but, well, Buffy's not as tough as she likes to pretend. She's pretty fragile on the inside, and I haven't seen her let anyone get close, not really close, since the last vampire with a soul blew through town. And if she lets you get close, that means something. It's a huge thing for her. I don't know how close you two have gotten, and frankly I don't want to know. Just...I'd just ask that you keep in mind that while she may talk tough, she's one of the most kind people I've met. She could get hurt really easily. Not on the outside, of course. She's like She-Thing on the outside. Not in looks, of course. In looks she's a hottie, but I mean—"
"Xan, we got it. She's tough on the outside and has a soft chewy center on the inside. I think William's got the whole picture and doesn't need you lecturing him about his girlfriend."
"Um, Dawn, did Buffy say we were dating?"
Dawn rolled her eyes. "No, she swears you're not. But we've been through this with Angel. We know what looooong patrols with a hot vampire mean."
"Think I'm hot, do you?" William teased as he waggled his eyebrows at Dawn.
Dawn shrugged. "You're okay. Better looking than Angel."
William beamed with pride until Xander said, "Yup."
Xander blushed. "What? I'm just saying....never mind."
"So, anyone want some dessert? I didn't make it!" Buffy said as she entered the dining room.
"Well, Anya and I were actually going to catch a movie, so we need to be heading out," Xander said as he stood from the table.
"Um, we had already planned to take Dawnie out for ice cream," Willow said sheepishly.
Buffy quirked an eyebrow at her. "What? As a reward for surviving my cooking?"
"Well, it was just a tentative plan, in case we didn't survive," Tara joked. Everyone looked at her, stunned. "What? I can't joke?"
Buffy shrugged. "Alright. I guess it's patrolling time for us. William?"
William stood and nodded. "Uh, thanks, everyone. Had a lovely time. Pleasure meeting you all. Especially you, cutie," William winked at Dawn and gave her a grin. Dawn rolled her eyes, but her face beamed a telling blush.
"So, why exactly were you flirting with my baby sister?" Buffy asked as they walked down her sidewalk.
William chuckled. "Just teasing the little bit. I like her. I like all your friends. It's a right nice bunch ya got there."
"Yeah, they're the best. So I was wondering, would you mind if I skipped tomorrow? Kinda need a night off."
William frowned slightly, but recovered quickly. "Of course! Take as much time as you need. You deserve a night off, or two, or however many you need."
Buffy smiled. "One will do for now. Just need some recuperation time. Haven't been to the Bronze in a while. It'll be nice to just hang with my friends. Not worry about the slaying."
William nodded. "The Bronze? That's that club near the center of town, right?"
"Yeah. It was the place to be when we were in high school. I guess it sort of aged with us. It's a good place to have a drink, if that's your thing. Or dance. Or meet....people. You should come some time. Just unwind. Chill out with the Scoobies."
"Scoobies? That a band or something?" William asked.
Buffy chuckled. "No, that's what we all sort of refer to ourselves as. My friends and me. Going around dealing with supernatural stuff. Ya know, Scooby Doo?"
"I know Scooby Doo, thank you very much." William rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, so anyway....I think we'll be there tomorrow. If you want to come hang out. You know, after patrol. Maybe make a short one. Or whatever. It's up to you." Buffy tried to sound nonchalant but came off a bit rambly.
"Ah, well, maybe. I'll see how patrolling goes. And I might have to hang out at Willy's for a bit. We'll see."
Buffy shrugged. "Whatever. No big, just a nice little place to relax." Buffy tried to look at William from the corner of her eye as they walked, trying to read him.
William was wondering if she was inviting him on a date. 'Not a date, you nit. All her mates will be there. You can go. It's just a bit of booze and chit chat. You know you want to, so just soddin' say you'll go.' "Yeah, it sounds nice. I'll have to see what it's like at Willy's, ya know." 'Wanker.'
A full hour earlier than they normally called it quits, Buffy was fake yawning and pleading exhaustion from preparing dinner. "There's nothing out tonight. That H'gdoth demon and a couple of vamps...let's call it a night."
William frowned. 'I'm usually the one forcing her home.' "Uh, yeah. You're probably right. You feeling okay, pet?"
"Oh, sure. Just tired is all. What is it you say? Knackered? 'I'm bloody knackered!'" Buffy attempted in her best William accent.
William chuckled. "That's not supposed to be me, is it?"
Buffy grinned and shrugged, throwing in another yawn for good measure.
"Alright, well, before you take up smoking and grow fangs, we should get you home." William held out his arm to let Buffy lead the way.
"Oh, actually, I'll just walk myself. We're closer to your place anyway. No need for you to go all the way back to my house."
"Uh, well, my bike is kind of still there."
"Oh! Duh, Buffy. Ok, let's walk!"
William shook his head as she took a few strides in front of him. She was never usually this aloof to him. 'She's never wanted to quit patrolling early, and she sure as hell never turned down my offer to walk her home. What's up with her tonight? Oh. Of course. She wanted to spend time with me because she was interested in me. Now that I've effectively shut that down, there's no reason to want to spend more time with me. Well, good. It's for the best. Less I see of her, the better for me.'
When they had reached her house, Buffy just paused briefly by his bike to bid him goodbye and tell him she enjoyed him being at dinner. She took off straight for the door before William could get out his "thanks for inviting me."
'Something's definitely up with the bird. Should I even bother sussing it out?' William kick started his bike to life and headed to his other job.
Of course, the next night found William rushing through his patrol to make sure he had time to shower before going to the Bronze to find Buffy. He tried to stop questioning why he wanted to keep spending time with her when he had told her clearly he didn't want anything more than friendship and a slaying partner. She had a draw of her own. One that seemed to override his ever-present need to punish himself. But it usually led to more self-inflicted pain anyway. Hurting himself for wanting to see her. Hurting himself for not having the willpower to stay away. Hurting himself for jerking off to the thought of her nearly every night.
When he arrived at the Bronze, he tried to pick out her scent. It was difficult to do through all the cologne, perfume, and sweat, but he finally managed it. He went up to the balcony to check out the dance floor. He barely noticed the girls who were trying to flirt with him, so focused on his prey. He finally saw her. He smiled at the sight, and grew hard watching her move. She was dancing by herself, running her hands over her own body. Not obscenely so, but enough to make William growl. 'Maybe she's had a drink or two. She's certainly having fun. Hold on....not by herself. She's not dancing with him....oh, well, if she's not, she certainly doesn't mind him putting his hands on her hips. Her hips! Knock him off, Slayer! Put a wanker sized hole in the floor, for fuck's sake. Or not. Ok, I have to do something. No! I can't just charge up to her like she's mine. She's free to do....whatever it is she's doing with him...a couple nights after she kissed me. Claimed she was interested in me. Right. So easy to forget, am I? Not bloody likely!'
William plowed down the stairs, nearly knocking over a silver-clad waitress in the process. With equal grace, he moved through the dancing crowd until he found Buffy. He stopped himself before he tapped on her shoulder. 'Don't. She's not yours. You told her as much. Let her be. Go home, have a bottle of gin and a wank, and try to sleep for 20 hours. Only thing for it.'
As he turned to go, Buffy caught sight of him. "William! You made it!"
He grimaced, but smiled as he turned to face her. "Yeah, didn't mean to interrupt. I just...."
Buffy waved off his explanation. "You're not! This is Jerry. We went to school in LA together. I haven't seen him in years. Just having a dance. You wanna come sit with us? Have a drink? Of course you do, come on!" Buffy grabbed Jerry with one hand and William with the other and dragged them both to her table where Willow and Xander were sitting.
"Hey William! Glad you could make it." Willow smiled warmly.
"Willow." William nodded in greeting. He spared another nod for Xander who raised his beer to William.
After a few minutes of drunk Buffy singing Jerry's praises, William was really hoping his alcohol tolerance would miraculously drop and his one beer would make him drunk enough to tune her out.
"Yeah, I just thought she was some kind of freak in high school. I guess we all grow up, huh?" Jerry laughed.
Buffy pouted. "I wasn't a freak. I was a slayer!" Willow, Xander, and William froze as Jerry frowned.
"Slayer? What's that?" Jerry asked.
"Oh, I can answer that one, Buffy," William said before Buffy had the chance to explain. "I only say that because I'm from England where being a slayer is a very big thing. Do you know anything about Jai Alai, Jerry?"
"Huh? Never heard of it. Is it some kind of disease?" Jerry answered.
William gave a slight sigh of relief before continuing. "No, it's a sport, actually. And Buffy here was the best slayer in the US. A slayer is kind of like a goal keeper. They call them that because they 'slay' the other teams chances at points. So anyway, Buffy was on the national team. Except she was too young really, so they had to lie about her age, and she couldn't tell anyone she was on the team."
"So that's why you were so weird?" Jerry turned to Buffy.
Buffy was frowning at William, who was by now pleading with his eyes for her to catch on. She did, thankfully. "Yeah. That's why. The things we do for our country, I guess...."
"But why would being in a sport make you burn down the gym?" Jerry asked.
"Oh, um, that....well...." Buffy searched her booze addled brain for an answer.
"Protest. She was protesting that the school didn't have Jai Alai. A bit extreme, but she's our Buffster and we love her!" Xander came through, sort of.
Jerry nodded slowly and began to look anywhere but at the people sitting at the table. "Well, I guess that explains it. Oh, I think I see someone I know. It was really great talking to you again, Buffy. I'll see you around." And like that, Jerry was gone.
Buffy pouted again. "I wanna go home. This sucks majorly."
"Sure, Buff. We just ordered new drinks, so as soon as we drain those, we'll skedaddle," Xander said.
"Oh, hey, I can take her. No reason for you guys to cut your night short. I got my bike. No problem," William offered.
Willow frowned. "Well, it's up to Buffy.....Buffy?"
Buffy looked at William. He gave her a sweet smile. "Ok. I'll go with Will. That'd be Will-YUM and not Will-OH!" Buffy giggled.
William chuckled as he stood and helped Buffy up. "Ok, I think that's a good sign that it's time to leave. See you guys later." Willow and Xander both said good bye and told William to drive carefully with the very drunken slayer.
Buffy stumbled a couple of times, William always close to make sure she didn't fall. When they reached his bike, she started crying.
"Oh now, what's wrong, luv?" William put his arm around her shoulders.
She turned into his embrace and hugged him tightly, still crying. "I am a freak. It's not normal to be a slayer. I just want to be normal but I can't. I'm a freak who scares everyone away. My dad, Angel, Giles, you....." Buffy looked up at William with the saddest face imaginable. "Why doesn't anyone want me?"
She was breaking his heart, and the only thing William could think to do was to lower his head and capture her lips with his. The kiss was painfully long and too soft to be arousing, but it was more about comfort at that moment than anything sexual. William pulled away gently. He brought his hand to her face and wiped away her tears with his thumb. "You are not a freak. You are the most amazing, courageous woman I've ever met. Any man would be a fool not to want you. And I'm no fool, Buffy."
Buffy blinked slowly. "You....you mean, you want me?"
"Yes. I want you. But...." William sighed.
"But you want pain more than you want me. How do I lose to pain? 'Your choices today are torture or Buffy! Torture, you say? Why naturally! Buffy's a freak!'" A new wave of tears started.
William grabbed her by the arms and shook her gently. "Hey now. That's not it at all, and I swear if you call yourself a freak one more time, I'll bite you. Now I've explained it all. And I realize that it sounds like I'm choosing pain over being with you, but....well, I guess I am. Because that's what I deserve. I don't deserve someone like you, pet. You're so far above me, I couldn't even see you with a telescope!"
Buffy looked up at him and sniffed as she wiped at her tears. "That was lame."
William gave a half smile. "Yeah, lame. But true. There's no way I could ever be good enough for you."
"But you already are. Don't you get it? Everything you've done since you got your soul....it's enough. It may not be enough for you, but it's enough for me. Enough for me to see you're a good man and one that I could see myself with. And I'll never be normal or have a normal life. Good grief, when I have sex with a normal guy, I'm always afraid of hurting him. That's no good!" Buffy smiled.
William shook his head and chuckled. "No, that's no good."
"I need a man who is my equal in every way. You've more than proven you could be that guy. If you wanted to be. God, you really don't get it, do you? I want you so much that I can't think of anything else. When we're patrolling, I just want to reach over and hold your hand. After we take down a big demon, I want you to hold me for a minute, because I still get a little shaky after a big fight. And then when you walk me home, I want to bring you inside and make-out with you on the couch like teenagers. I mean, I want R-rated stuff too. Maybe some NC-17 stuff if it's not too shocking for you." Buffy grinned.
William scoffed at her comment. "You have no idea, pet."
"But I do. I have a lot of ideas, and the majority of them require us to be in physical contact for long periods of time. But it's not just lust. I....I have some definite emotions here. I have feelings for you. And as much as you want to, you can't just hide yourself away from feeling something good. You want so much pain and hurt, but you can't live off that. You're trying to do good, but if all you feed yourself is pain, how do you expect to survive? You're already in pain. And I'm not talking about the crap you do to your body." William flinched at that. "Yeah, crap. I said it. It's crap. You're real pain is inside. And you need something to combat that. And more pain isn't the answer. You need love, and maybe I could give that to you, but you won't let me get close enough to try. Hey, I'm putting myself out there too, ya know? You probably think that I'm just saying all this stuff because I'm drunk, and well.....maybe that's true. But it's what I feel, whether you like it or not. And it's not going to change anytime soon. Because as soon as I told myself it was okay to feel something for another vampire, another man, I knew I was in too deep already. So there. That's it. That's me and you in a nutshell." Buffy backed away from William on nearly steady feet and spread her arms wide. "Do with it what you will."
'Bloody well stop fucking around. She said it. She's right. Just go for it. The cross and the holy water won't be my salvation, but she just might be. The first woman to truly want me, man and demon. Mind, body, and soul. Took more than a hundred years, but here she is. And I believe her. It's there, in her eyes. Acceptance. And fear. She's afraid I'll reject her. Again. Better be damned sure of this before I take one step toward her. Because if I end up hurting her...might as well stake myself. Wouldn't be able to see the look in her eyes. Gotta be sure. Gotta be bloody well sure. What the fuck. You know you can't stay away from her. You're in too deep too.'
William took a confident stride toward Buffy, her outstretched arms suddenly reaching for him. He wrapped her up in himself. His salvation. His respite from pain. His Slayer. His Buffy. His.
Ok, that's it, folks. Lemme know what ya think!
