Cherri Ookami dateline on January 28, 2004

Well. 12? Oh, yes. It is. Should I start? Yeah. Oh, hold on.

This chapter was inspired by a manga that I read and it was great! Completely hilarious! Now, the thing I took was Yelan's OOC attitude. I mean, still. Yelan should be suffering from separation anxiety whatever it's called. She hasn't seen her son for weeks. Also, remember in the last chapter that I said I was going to break a couple up. This is probably not where I am going to do it, but VERY soon. I wanna get it over with. I don't want to do it, but I still will! Okay. Let's get rolling.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura in anyway ever. CLAMP and Kodansha should know, since they own CCS... not that they know me. X_X

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"I think we need a talk." Yelan said coldly

"Yeah. I know." Syaoran hissed

"Not you, your fiancé."

'What did I get myself into?'

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Chapter Twelve and Labing Dalawa of Etiquette Lessons:

My, my! Such Meddling Mother!

Written by: the Cherri Ookami and edited by the Crystal Megami

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"Move out of my way." Yelan spat at the maids.

{They scoured to different directions, all feeling truly offended. Idachi, the laundry girl, came in and frowned at Yelan and she caused Sasami and herself to drop their laundry baskets. "What a meanie beanie face!" "Yeah. I know." Sasami said as she picked up the clothes.}

[Living Room]

"Sit."

"I think I should-" Sakura stuttered

"Sit." Yelan beckoned cruelly.

"Oh. Okay." She said sadly, feeling that Syaoran's mother was just like one of those on a television program she watched a few days ago.

{It went like this: A man had fallen in love with a woman, whom was very beautiful. Their families were modern and thought of almost a quadrillion ways to break them apart, from poisoning to arsenal to death to perversion. (Bras and all. *Wink, wink, nudge, nudge* ^__^) In the end, which Sakura found both humorous and romantic, the couple trapped their families in a quote unquote "sinking ship" and lived happily ever after. (This is not a real show. I made it all up. Dumb, huh?)}

"I wanted to talk to you... about my son."

'Wow. I never would have thought of THAT.' She thought sarcastically.

"I heard that sarcastic thought." She said nastily

'I guess she reads minds too.'

"I do. Now keep your thoughts down, unless you want them heard. Do you want that?" Yelan asked maliciously

"No."

"You will address me as ma'am, miss, or mother-in-law. Do you know why?"

"Nope."

"I see the family ring on your right hand. Such a foolish son I have, giving you the ring without permission. I am unofficially your mother-in-law. Funny. I do not see what my so-called son sees in you." She spat

"Thanks for the compliment." Sakura sneered

"No problem. You earned it. And, it's Thanks for the compliment, ma'am." Yelan said coolly

{Sakura felt a bloodcurdling aura burst from her. She felt a spirited dragon release from the matriarch and it felt its whiskers touch her face. It was like dipping your face in a bucket of ice. It left and Yelan continued.

"I am here to interrogate you of my former son's performance."

"No it isn't." Sakura stated blandly

"Ma'am."

"Huh?"

"No. You do not address me as nobody. You call me ma'am. Am I clear?" Yelan asked icily

"Crystal clear, ma'am." Sakura mouthed

"Good. Now, what were you speaking of?"

"I know this isn't about any kind of performance. It is about Syaoran's proposal. If you hate me that much, we can break it up." Sakura said half-heartedly. Sakura's mind was filled with thoughts of Yelan keeping Syaoran in a cage.

"I am afraid that the ring you wear on your finger *Mumble, mumble* was kept in a box forged by a tree with great magical strength. If you are untrue to the one who gave it to you *Mumble, mumble*, you will have 7 days to live and when you die, you will burn in the fiery underworld forever."

{Sakura chuckled nervously, thinking that it were just a way to scare her. "I am not joking. I have one myself, and my *Cough, cough* idiot son*Cough* has another one. Cheating on one another is very dishonest, and of course, dishonesty is NOT honored here, there, anywhere!" she flailed.}

"Okay."

"Ma'am." Yelan drawled.

"Yes, ma'am." Sakura let out forcefully.

"Good. Now, it is time to start the interrogation. I will ask questions and you will answer." She spat coolly

"Yes, yes, MA'AM. I will answer!"

"Are you being sarcastic with me?"

"No. I am just showing an emphasis of respect to you."

"Shut up now. I will start." Yelan said, pulling out a notepad and a pen. "Number one: What is your age?"

"14."

"What is your favorite noodle?"

"NE?"

"ANSWER!"

"R...amen. No. Udon. No. Yeah! Ramen! NO! ITAI! My head hurts!"

"I don't care about your head. Now answer the question!" Yelan demanded

"This isn't going too well, you guys." Syaoran said to the bunch of girls watching behind the pillar.

ooooooo

"C'mon! Wake up!"

...

"Please?"

...

*Splash*

...

{Tomoyo sat as Eriol slept on his lap. He was still out, but she swore to get revenge on Kaho for what she did. She remembered it PERFECTLY...}

{Flashback}

"I don't care! What was that you sprayed at Eriol-kun?"

"Toidi Solution. It makes you err..."

"Dumb? Dull? Thickheaded? Thick? Dim witted? Brainless? Stupid? I-"

"I get it and yeah. That's it." Kaho said uneasily

"When's dinner, mommy?"

{End of Flashback}

"*Sigh* Damn. Now, how do I wake him up...?" she pondered quietly. "I got it!" Tomoyo dragged Eriol's body and went through the patio door. (What's a patio?) She walked down the white, marble steps and brings him down to a koi pond, where the fish were missing. (The Kinomoto family ain't that inhumane! Let the fish live! XD)

{She passed the koi pond and passed through a broken down fence. She dragged Eriol's body through the snowy grass and she stopped dead. She found a frozen river and took a rusty rake. She pulled it from its post and dusted off its weeds. She struck the ice with the rake and created a large hole. She dropped Eriol's motionless body into the water and she counted down.}

"Twenty. Nineteen. Eighteen. Blah. Blah. One. Zero. Ding, ding, ding." She chimed.

"ARGH!"

"Right on time, Eriol-kun!" she smiled.

"GET... ME... OUTTA... HERE!" he bellowed, his face red from anger, but bluish from the freezing cold water

"Finally come to your senses?" she asked, pulling him out.

"What do you think?"

"Just wondering, baka boy." She said playfully

"Damn that Kaho. Who does she think she is?" he cursed

"Want to go find her and get sweet revenge?" Tomoyo asked evilly

"Nah. Forget it. Let's just find the golden pair."

"I think I saw Sakura and some lady in the hallway. Let's go!"

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"Now. I am done interrogating you about... you. Now, to discuss my son."

'I thought she'd NEVER stop.' Sakura thought bluntly

"Don't worry, girl. I WILL stop." Yelan said coolly. "Now. How has my ex-son performed his job?"

"Very well. He has taught me so much, like how to control my anger against the hentai horde." Sakura said, trying to make Syaoran sound as successful as Yelan had wanted him to be.

"I'm sure he has."

"Really."

"I know. I believe you." Yelan said, obviously lying. "Next question. How has my ex-son performed in his performance, concerning your current engagement?"

"His proposal was eloquent and beautiful. That is one reason why I accepted."

"So, you only like him for his speech, eh? Nothing else, huh?"

"No! I didn't say that!"

"Well, it sure sounded that way!"

"But, I didn't-"

"How has my son performed in the bedroom?"

"Nani?" she yelped, blushing like crazy

"Let me help you comprehend. How has my son performed in the bedroom?"

"Err..."

"I guess I need not any answer if this is how it'll be." Yelan said sternly, clearing her throat roughly "We would've done a horrible job anyway."

"But, I..."

"Never mind." Yelan said. 'Such a foolish question to ask.'

"Has he done any acts of heroism?"

"Let me think..."

"Okay, new question." Yelan said in a monotone voice

"No, no. He may not have done anything HEROIC, but her HAS made me feel good." Sakura said, covering her mouth. She was thinking that Yelan had read this message differently.

"Tell me more." Yelan said, seeming actually interested.

'I guess she DID take it that way.'

"What did I take that way?" Yelan propped

"Nothing. Nothing. Never mind."

"As I said... tell me more." Yelan said, scribbling a few notes on her book.

"I... err..."

"Yes? Don't worry. Let it out." Yelan said venomously

"O...okay." she stuttered

"Well... give me the dirt..." Yelan let out, sounding like a 16-year-old teen asking for gossip.

{Sakura was getting to the point that she knew what Yelan really wanted. She was looking for perverted acts. "He helped me dress once." She said in a seductive voice.}

'Sakura no BAKA! What the heck do you think you are doing?' Syaoran thought as he felt his embarrassment rising.

{He walked forward, but Midako pulled him back.. "Aye, stop! If ya wanna get yourself in more chaos, continue, ya got it?" she said. }

"Fine! She's still screwing me up. I thought she was smart enough to fall for one of my mom's old traps." Syaoran whispered

"She is. The girl just ain't usin' her brain right now."

[Back to the conversation]

"He is a very great person. He makes me feel so comfortable, especially that one midnight on the lawn..." Sakura said, sounding quite pleased. "It was so romantic."

"Indeed. Now, I have finally come to the conclusion that I will be attending the last feast, along with my assistants. There will also be one last interrogation. You had better be more prepared than this one." She said, returning to the ice cold breezy one.

{Yelan's silken clothing dragged on the marble floor and read her notes again, smiling once and a while. She walked into a room, presumably Syaoran's room. When the coast was clear, Syaoran and the 8 maids came up from the pillar.}

"Sakura...?" Syaoran chimed nicely (Ano? Nicely?)

"Yes, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked, thinking he would be hugging her for doing so well on the test

"WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?" Syaoran bellowed, seeing the maids back to their duties

"Nani?"

"Why did you tell my mom about that stuff? You already know your thoughts aren't safe!"

"Gomen, Syaoran-kun." Sakura said, tears welling slightly.

"No! No! No." he said softly. "Don't cry. I'm not mad at you... I just..."

"Hey you guys! You alright?"

"Hi, Eriol-kun." Sakura breathed. "And, yeah. I am."

"Okay. What just happened?"

"Well..." Syaoran started

"Sakura took this extremely stupid test from Li's mom and she told her about how Syaoran helped her dress and about how they slept on the lawn. Yelan thought they "did it" and she is gonna attend the last feast and *Pant, pant* Syaoran started having a fit about Yelan's bad thoughts and you came and I started talking and..." Sasami said tersely

"Okay. Can you PLEASE shut up now?" Syaoran groaned

"Fine then." Sasami huffed as she left

"Hey. You're soaked. What happened?"

"I dunno. I just woke up in some stupid pond."

"Well, the pond wasn't the only thing stupid."

"What?" Eriol asked

"That stupid potion. No remedy, yeah. Sure there isn't." Tomoyo thought about the solution. "Toidi potion... Hey. Toidi."

"What the heck?" Syaoran asked lightly. 'What's that?'

"Toidi... idiot. It's backwards. I see now. And, she made Eriol look like an idiot. HA! That's such a great idea."

"I see. Go ahead and laugh." Eriol said huffing slightly.

"We still have a problem." Syaoran said

"What's that?" Tomoyo asked

"My mom. She can't be erased. She can either read your mind or control it." Syaoran stated as he sat on a pouf. "She can make her your eternal slave if she wanted ya to."

"She's kind of evil, isn't she?" Tomoyo asked

"Oh. Ya think?" Syaoran asked sardonically

"Well, what do you expect?" Tomoyo reasoned. "I mean, you engaged yourself to someone and didn't even include your own mother into the engagement."

"Yeah. You could be right. But I think one reason is that there was... never mind."

"What, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked

"There was this girl... Ayu Masaki Kasshin. My sensei in China made us do a project. She used me like a sponge. She squeezed every drop of help she could get outta me. Then, she dumped me in front of the whole school. She called me a jerk, a loser, and a creep. It was as if I used her. That is one reason why I am not as popular as I was before Ayu. Did I mention that I was only 8?"

*Sigh*

"My mom never trusted my judgment again. She made every decision for me until now," Syaoran continued. "When I started this assignment to Japan, she was skeptical, but sent me anyways. Then she got a call about me getting hit with a vase and about being engaged to another girl. Now, she'll do anything in her power to get rid of you, Sakura."

"Why me?"

"She obviously thinks that you are kinda like Ayu. I think that she thinks that you are taking me away from her. Motherly instincts, I guess." Syaoran rolled his eyes as he sighed lightly.

"What do we do?" Tomoyo asked

"We can get someone she knows to tell her that Sakura is a nice person and she'll probably trust them if she can't trust Syaoran." Eriol guessed

"Where are we gonna get someone like that? We can't ask Li-chan. She's probably still kind of mad."

"I know where, but it isn't good." Syaoran said with an exasperated look on his face.

"Who?"

"My sisters. They're coming for the last day of the banquet. But..."

"But what?"

"They are kind of... insane."

"Oh, my."

"No, no. Not that way. They just love to glomp boys and to hug "kawaii" things. They'll obviously love you, Sakura, but damn, they're annoying." Syaoran said as he slapped his forehead with his hand.

"Oh. Are they those girls in the picture of you in the mmm..." Sakura's mouth was covered by Syaoran, who looked thoroughly embarrassed.

"YES. THAT PICTURE." he mouthed.

"Gomen." Sakura muttered quietly *Blush*

"Why don't we find them!"

"Aiya!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Ohh!!!!!!!!"

"KAWAII!"

"No need. They're here." Syaoran sighed, hiding behind a nearby pillar. "Brace yourselves."

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Hmmm.... another chapter down. Well, I am very sorry to have kept ya waiting, but I got the work done. Anyways, umm.... okay. Yeah. Let's see. Remember to review! ^_^

God Bless!!!

Cherri ^_^ & Crystal n__n