May 1st

Okay so maybe it's really May 2nd since it is after midnight...well after midnight. Currently, Bosco is asleep in my chair. He looks pretty comfortable but then the chair was once Rose's so its possible this isn't the first time he's fell asleep in it.

I feel like I should be in bed too but I'm still too hyped up from having Bosco home. I left the station with him tonight, realizing that it's been over a year since we left together. The last time we worked together was when we got the call about little Rebecca not breathing. I'd spent all night with her at the hospital leaving Bosco to work with Sasha. It's only now as I think about all this that I realize the last day Bosco's worked he'd done so without me as his partner. It's not that it means a lot now; it's just a realization as I sit here.

We'd managed to get out of the station by midnight. Bosco had received a swarm of hugs from everyone including Sully which was actually pretty nice. Of course Sasha had given him a hug and a kiss on his cheek. We'd walked past the Captain's office seeing that he looked pretty busy. Stick glanced up as we passed, motioning us to come in then to take a seat.

He sat on the corner of his desk explaining a story that'd taken place years ago. He'd been against the two of us being partners from the very beginning. He added that all partnerships go through stages when you have good days and bad days. He was aware of the fact that we'd split up. Frankly, it didn't surprise him. It did surprise him when I'd requested to work with Bosco again To be honest, he'd had more doubts the second time around given what happened to me in Noble's room. In the end, he'd been wrong. Bosco and I had been solid; as solid as any partnership in the house.

Stick and Hancock questioned him of his plans. Bosco's answer had been that he wanted to be home for the anniversary of his brother's death. He hadn't wanted his ma to deal with that on her own. Beyond that, he had no plans.

Hancock questioned how Rose was doing. Bosco explained that she'd gone away to her sister's for a few days since she hadn't been aware that Bosco was coming home. He was going to surprise her. Turns out he was the one surprised.

On our way out, Lieu shook Bosco's hand one more time while smiling. He explained that Finney needed a good partner; someone to keep him in line. Bosco had nodded stating that coming back to work wasn't something he'd given much thought. Lieu acknowledged this stating that Finney couldn't handle someone like Bosco anyway.

Bosco and I left, driving around for a while, just talking. Even after a year, it seemed natural ...riding around with Bosco. I'm still stunned hearing his voice...seeing him beside me.

Over the course of the next few hours, I noticed things about Bosco that I didn't see at first. I was so shocked to see him that nothing else mattered. As time passed though, I saw things. For one he has a couple scars on his face although none of them are glaring scars. They don't immediately jump out at you when you look at him. He doesn't seem bothered by them and that makes me happy. I remember a time when he shut me out, turning away from me so I wouldn't see them. But then, Bosco has amazing inner strength. Another thing I noticed is that his does have a slight limp. Given that his one leg has had six surgeries, six attempts to piece it back together, I'm not surprised that he'd limp. It's actually not so much that he limps but he does seem to favor that one leg.

I learned though talking tonight that he was supposed to be in therapy today as well as tomorrow and the day after that. The anniversary of Mikey's death was too much for him. Therapy was pointless. He thought Rose needed him here more. Therapy could wait. I think he needed Rose as well. So he'd taken a bus home, then a cab to his ma's place. Of course she wasn't home so he'd called her cell phone and found out she was with her sister.

While driving around I stopped off at a supermarket, making an excuse that I forgot to pick something up for Emily. I guess it was a giveaway when I came back with a pretty generic bouquet of flowers. From there I drove over to where Mikey had been found. I knew it well. I'd been there several times over the past year.

I handed Bosco the flowers, allowing him some time alone. After a short time, I joined him, softly rubbing his shoulders as I stood behind him. He confessed that he still didn't believe it...Mikey was gone. There were days when it just didn't sink in. I helped him to his feet, discovering that he had trouble standing from a squatted position.

At one point he asked about Emily and Charlie. Emily was spending the night with a friend. She was doing well in school. Charlie I hadn't seen in over a week but he was doing well also. While I know the divorce was difficult on them, they seemed to be coping. I didn't kid myself...they still had bad days. I drove by my new apartment, asking him if he'd like to see it. I needled him a bit, telling him that if I'd known he was coming home, I would have postponed my move so that he could help.

Once inside, he immediately recognized several pieces of furniture...those that Rose had sent along. At some point, I glanced up to see him asleep in the chair that had been Rose's. He'd had a long day. I sat there awhile longer, watching him sleep.

May 2nd

I was awoken by the ringing of a telephone. Okay so in my sleep it sounded like a phone. In reality it was the doorbell. I strolled over to the door, stretching and yawning in the process. I glanced through the peep hole, not surprised to find Rose standing on the other side. I unlocked the door, stepping aside as I opened it. I saw a blur rush past me. A blur named Rose. No hi Faith, how are you but I didn't mind. It was more satisfying to see Rose with Bosco. She hugged him, mumbling something through her tears. I couldn't understand most of it but I had a feeling Bosco understood every word. I shed a few tears myself just seeing the two of them together.

Once things settle down somewhat Rose questioned Bosco as to why he didn't tell her he was coming home. He countered saying that he hadn't planned on it. It'd been a spur of the moment decision. That explains the message on my machine...the one questioning if Bosco was in New York. Apparently he'd left a short note on his bed, explaining that he had to go home. While Rose and Bosco were catching up, I called the clinic explaining that Bosco was fine.

After Rose cooked breakfast for the three of us, we made a stop at the florist, purchasing several bouquets of flowers. I drove out to the cemetery. I'd parked the car and gotten out but had hung back allowing the two of them some time alone. Bosco turned around first followed by Rose. I motioned for them to go ahead without me but neither of them would hear of it. I took the bouquet Bosco was carrying. The three of us stood at Mikey's grave. Rose with an arm around Bosco....Bosco with an arm around Rose and one around me...and myself with an arm around Bosco.

I'm not sure what either of them were thinking. I was recalling the look in Bosco's eyes from the day he found out about Mikey. I recalled his interrupted wake, Rose's injury, and the shooting that nearly robbed Rose of another son. I recalled Mikey's funeral days after the shooting. Neither Rose nor Bosco had been able to attend. I recalled standing there praying that I wouldn't be attending Bosco's funeral.

At some point, I bent over placing a bouquet of flowers on Mikey's grave. Rose placed the other one. No longer holding flowers I was free to hold onto Bosco. I still wasnt used to having him home...still not used to seeing him standing and walking and talking. At some point, I knew I'd have to let him out of my sight but I had no idea how I was going to handle it. More than anything I wanted to keep him in my sights, making sure that no one ever hurt him again.

I dropped the two of them off at Rose's, helping Rose make lunch while Bosco took a short nap. I left around one thirty, forcing myself to leave Bosco. I managed but not before holding him and placing a kiss on his cheek. On my drive to work I had to smile realizing that it'd been injured one that I'd kissed.

He wasn't surprised that I called him on my dinner break. He spoke briefly with Davis and Sully who'd joined me for dinner. Finney, oddly enough, chose to forgo any further conversation with Bosco. I repeated part of our conversation...the part where Bosco grumbled that Rose had hidden the keys to his car, refusing to tell him where they were. She even refused to unlock it so he could just sit in it. I laughed explaining that she knew him too well. If Rose got the keys out and unlocked the door, Bosco would eventually get them from her and go for a drive. I questioned him as to whether or not I was right and he got quiet. I was right and he knew it.

I did promise him that I'd talk with Rose and see about getting the keys. Little did her know, I already had them. I'd had them for months.

Bosco, at Rose's urging, had contacted the clinic, requesting his records be sent on to Mercy since it was unlikely that he'd be returning to Boston anytime soon.

May 4th

Rose and I accompanied Bosco on his visit to Mercy. Having been out of therapy for several days had concerned Rose. His medical and psychological records had arrived earlier in the day...some via fax and others via express mail.

Nurse Proctor greeted Bosco with a hug and kiss. This after she'd shed a few tears upon seeing him for the first time. She'd fussed over him until his eyes were begging me to let him leave.

Mary finally explained that his appointment was all set. We took the elevators to the fifth floor. All in all, Bosco was doing remarkably well which didn't surprise us. The doctor did want to see him back for a run through some tests just to be sure. Bosco frowned and Rose and I took turns reminding him that he'd come too far to risk re-injuring himself.

We exited the elevators, heading for the parking lot. That is Rose and I were heading for the parking lot. Bosco had stopped and was staring down the hallway. I knew exactly what he was thinking. As much as I didn't want to face it, I knew he needed to face that room.

It was nowhere near the shape it was in that horrific day nearly a year ago. The glass and blinds had been replaced. Bullet holes in walls were patched and freshly painted. For me the biggest change was the floor. Gone was the lifeless body of Bosco...gone was the blood-streaked floor tiles...gone was the panic that'd filled the room. What wasn't gone was the memories. I glanced away, trying to shake the memories. Something else had returned as well. Tears streaked by face. What had changed the most was Bosco. He wasn't lying in his own blood. Bosco was standing right in front of me, his arms wrapped around me, stroking my hair while telling me that it's over...that everything's okay. He took my hand in his, leading me from the room. Rose was in the hallway, standing with Mary. Bosco hugged Mary before putting an arm around Rose as we made our way to the parking lot.

Since Rose had to work that night and Sully was off, he agreed to stop by and check on Bosco. I can only imagine what the two of them had to talk about. If I had to guess, the term baby-sit probably came up once or twice.

Rose called me around ten-thirty asking if it was possible to give her a ride home. Apparently the gal who normally gave her a ride home had gone home sick.

Rose didn't get off until midnight which was fine by me. It gave me some time to relax and unwind after a long day.

Once we got in the car, Rose turned to me. She looked serious about something. My first thought was Bosco. I asked her if he was okay. She didn't answer my question but instead asked me a question. Why was it that my first thought was Bosco? I shrugged my shoulders commenting that he'd been through a lot. It's hard not to worry about him.

She nodded; seeming to accept my answer. Then she asked another question...point blank she asked if I love her son. I froze not knowing the right answer. She dismissed my silence continuing on with her thought. The two of us had always had a special bond. Did it ever seem odd to me that he discussed most everything with me right down to his love life? She confessed that at times she was jealous of what we had; secretly wishing that he'd talk to her about what was bothering him. Oh sure he did sometimes but never like he did with me. In fact, she'd wondered for years if his feelings for me were stronger than he ever let on. She knew deep down that he'd never do anything to hurt my marriage or my family. Having lost his own sense of family as a child, that aspect of my life was sacred to him. This came as no surprise since he'd shared painful memories of his own life with me on more than one occasion.

I think she knew her answer since I didn't go inside. I'd made an excuse that Bosco was probably asleep anyway...that I needed to get home.

At home, I sat down, not realizing 'til later that'd I'd chosen the same chair Bosco had fallen asleep in. I stared at the blank pages...writing about staring at blank pages. My thoughts drift to Bosco. I recall the first day we met...graduation day from the academy. I remember silly things like fighting over French fries...jumping across roofs while trying to keep up with him.

I remember how upset he got when he learned about my cancer...that I'd aborted my unborn child. I remember other things like the way he'd ask me if I thought he'd hit his wife someday...he'd said when he got married. It didn't occur to me 'til now that he never doubted that he'd get married someday.

I remember the way he took care of little Danny and Miguel....two little boys in need of a big brother and one big brother who needed to be someone's big brother. I remember the look in his eyes when he first woke up after being shot...that desperate look begging me not to leave him. And I remember the look he'd given me the morning he'd left for Boston...the ever-present need to take care of those around him despite his own condition.

Whoever said a mother was the last to know was wrong. Rose was right. I love her son...I love Bosco.

May 5th

It'd been a very long shift. A case we'd been working on took off tonight. Unfortunately it took off around 8:30pm. I didn't get home until almost 4am. I was exhausted...wanting nothing more than to collapse into bed.

As I passed through the kitchen, it occurred to me that the light was on. It shouldn't have given that Emily always left it on if I wasn't home when she went to bed. Only trouble was Emily was spending the night with a friend.

I glanced into the living room; smiling when I discovered who'd left the light on for me. Bosco was asleep in 'his' chair. I'd forgotten all about meeting him after work. We were going to surprise Emily since she'd yet to see Bosco. In the meantime, she'd called asking if she could spend the night with Jenny from down the hall. I'd been so wrapped up in my case that I'd agreed and quickly hung up the phone.

Hours later, I'd finally made it home. A quick glance of my cell phone told me that he'd called twice...the last time being around 12:30.I figured he must have fallen asleep after that.

My figuring was in question when my eyes focused on something else...my journal...sitting on the table beside where Bosco was asleep. I replayed last night, recalling that I'd been writing in it while sitting in the same chair that Bosco was asleep in. My first fear was that Bosco had read it. After all, he was just a few feet from the journal.

Picking up the journal I thumbed through the pages debating if he would have seen it and if so, would he have read it. My heart pounded as I was flipping through the pages. Maybe, I thought, just maybe he didn't have enough time to read it all given that it was almost full. The answer to my question was pretty obvious. Written on one of the last pages were five words...

I love you too...Bos.