Disclaimer: Most characters belong to J K Rowling but a couple are ours.

Chapter 7: Loss

Suddenly, any doubts she had held about him taking it too far faded rapidly as she heard the click of his belt buckle…

Morgana felt paralysed, not knowing what to do. She wanted to give in and run away but she couldn't. Her body seemed to have a will of its own. A will that made her shiver in excitement. She was so confused!

Something wet around her eyes caught her attention and she realized she had begun to tear up in frustration.

Morgana felt herself being dragged forward to the edge of the desk. Her legs being spread slowly and a warm body stepping between her thighs. Still, she couldn't bring herself to stop him. This would be her first time and it was with her enemy because she couldn't work up the nerve to give up. Her knees were lifted so they were at his sides and then held there roughly, his fingers digging sharply into her skin.

The moment when he entered her was sudden, the pain was like nothing she had ever felt. A pain so deep inside but she didn't cry out, or make any noise for that matter. She would not give him the satisfaction to know he'd just hurt her.

Morgana scrunched her eyes closed tightly and made her hands into fists until the pain subsided. It was then, and only then that she began to take notice of everything that was happening. The thing inside her was radiating a burning heat as if it were on fire but it was somehow soothing. He had begun a rhythm of moving in and out, in and out. A small kind of pleasure began to form inside of her and she silently willed him on, eager to explore this feeling further.

As Morgana saw it, she had just given up being a virgin permanently so she might as well try her hardest to enjoy the experience. After all, Snape had given her her chance to say 'no' and she had stubbornly refused. Therefore, this was technically not rape. 

His movements began to get faster, deeper and more demanding. She opened her eyes and looked up at the man whom had just taken her innocence and found his eyes closed and face empty of emotion. More so than usual.

It seemed it was all over before it had even started. Morgana watched closely as a relaxed calmness spread over his features. His eyes fluttered opened and for a split second she swore she saw absolute heart wrenching sorrow in them. But this was Snape, Snape didn't have emotions, not any that would make someone feel sorry for him anyway, right? Yes, it had to be that way.

He withdrew and turned from her suddenly. Now free from his grasp, Morgana sat up dazed and looked around, pulling her skirt down while she was at it. Around his desk was a mess. She spotted her knickers and slid off the table to get them.

"Miss Blackwater, detention is over. Now leave." Snape still had his back to her but she didn't ask questions. She picked up her cloak and walked towards the door. Just as she reached for the handle he spoke again, more quietly this time.

"Blackwater, I'm… I'm…" she waited but the words didn't come.

Morgana shut the potions room door behind her and walked slowly back towards Gryffindor tower, towards the comfort and security of her bed, towards the promise of dreamless sleep. Harry and Ron would be waiting for her she realized; they were so protective of Hermione and herself. She swung her cloak back into position and combed her messy hair through with her fingers. The pink lady was happy to see her back and opened when told the password.

Ron and Harry were asleep on the lounges so she went over and gently woke them up.

"Your finally back. He didn't make you do anything that bad did he?" Ron asked sleepily.

"You should go to bed, both of you." Morgana answered, artfully trying to avoid the question, "I am, I'm tired after detention. Thanks for waiting up for me." They said their 'goodnights' and went up to her room that she shared with the other sixth year Gryffindor girls and once in bed, sleep took over almost instantaneously.

Morgana woke in the morning to the sound of Hermione's voice.

"Wake up!"

"Go away!"

"No. We've got Potions class in half an hour to make up for yesterday."

At the mention of potions the previous nights events came flooding back to her and she realized the extent of what happened.

"Oh no." she whispered.

"Oh no what? Come on, get up Morgana."

"I…I don't feel well. I think I should just stay here."

Professor Snape's going to hit the roof you if you miss a lesson, especially this one."

"He'll get over it. I'm sick Hermione, I'm not going!" Morgana pulled the blankets over her head to shut her friend out. 'What am I going to do?' she thought silently to herself. This was a real mess.

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