"Right." The Admiral clunked his glass. "I know you decided you didn't want any speeches, you just wanted a simple party with your friends and family, but I feel it's my duty to say a few words."
"Go ahead sir." Jen said. "Wouldn't be a wedding without speeches."
"Thank you Petty Officer." AJ said. "I'll keep this short. I just wanted to say that we're all very proud of you and wish you the best of luck and hope that you're very happy together. I'd also like to take this opportunity to remind everyone else that JAG Headquarters is not your own personal dating service and that Admiral's privilege only extends so far." There was a chuckle from the military members of the group. "So everyone please raise your glass to Jennifer and Jason. Congratulations."
"Jennifer and Jason." Everyone echoed.
"One other order of business while I have your attention." AJ said. "We weren't sure what to get you for a wedding present, but Lieutenant Sims came up with a suggestion. Using the Rabb family connections, without the Commander's knowledge, we got you this." Gunny and Harriet bought over the large rectangular gift.
Jen and Jason pulled off the paper.
"Wow, it's beautiful." Jen said.
"It really is. Thank you everyone." Jason said.
"What is it?" Harm asked. Jason turned the frame around to reveal a painting of the Lincoln Memorial at sunset. "Francis Jacobson?" Harm questioned.
"Very good Commander." AJ replied.
"How did you know that buddy?" Sturgis asked.
"My mother owns the art gallery." Harm replied.
"Trish made sure he had a good appreciation for the arts." Grams added. "Right down to the time she took him the ballet."
"Ballet?" Mac questioned.
"I'd rather not discuss that." Harm replied.
"I'll tell you later." Grams said.
"Besides which it's signed in the bottom left hand corner."
"Very observant Harm." Sturgis said.
"Good qualities for a pilot and a lawyer." AJ added.
"Sir, I think it's a whole other thing that makes them choose people as pilots." Mac said. "Namely..."
"Ego." Jen finished for her. Harm looked at her. "Sorry sir."
"For that I think I should make a speech." Harm said. "Since I was asked to stand in for the father of the bride, I believe you are all owed a father of the bride speech."
"Should I be worried?" Jen whispered to Mac.
"He pulled it off the internet before we left work yesterday, just in case." Mac replied.
"We all got you traditional gifts too." Harriet whispered to Jen. "But we left them at home we thought it would be easier than having to carry them back."
"Thank you."
"Ladies and gentlemen." Harm started. "I appropriated this speech for such an occasion, I may not agree with all the sentiments, but never the less it does seem appropriate. Here goes. A marriage certificate is very much like a blank lottery ticket. It carries the anticipation of a rosy future. Everything always perfect from now on. At the time of acquiring it however, there is nothing to distinguish the jackpot winner from an out-and-out no- hoper! Jason and Jen, like a lottery, a marriage requires input from you.
Like a lottery it all depends on the selections or decisions that you make. Unlike a lottery having made the initial decisions, you can't just sit back and wait to see if your prize has come up. Marriage is a participation game and requires love, attention and constant tweaking and fine tuning. I believe that marriage will teach Jason, loyalty, self-restraint, and control. It will develop in him a sense of fair play..... and many other qualities.....which he probably wouldn't have needed if he had stayed single! Seriously though, as someone with some experience of marriage, I would like to warn this beginner here about what he'll be up against.
You must consider the words of Oscar Wilde, "Women are meant to be loved, not understood"
Jason....Now that you are married, Jen will always have the last word in any argument - any word that you come out with afterwards is by default, the start of a whole new argument! Remember, when you buy her flowers ...it PROVES you're guilty. (But of course, beware the far more serious consequences of not buying her flowers!) Remember to put the seat down after you. And always remember those two invaluable words "Yes Dear" I wish you a wonderful marriage, and I hope you have a really great honeymoon, which, Jason you will find is the period between "I do" and "You'd better" And finally, please be all upstanding and join me in a toast; Jason and Jennifer." Harm finished.
"Jason and Jennifer." Everyone echoed.
"That was a nice speech sir." Jason said.
"The Commander's not the only who can appropriate a speech just in case the occasion arose." Gunny said. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me begin by putting Jason out of his misery.
Jason, I want you to know that I thought about taking a rattle around in your closet and bringing out a few skeletons.
But it's not going to happen. That's not what this is all about.
So sorry, folks. I won't be mentioning the special name his friends in the chess club had for him.
I won't be mentioning what he did when he was eleven that scandalized the neighbours.
And whatever he's done with rubber chickens in the past...well that's his own business. Well I would mention those stories if I actually knew they were true, but I've been shield from them. I just wanted to say Jen you look beautiful and if Jason ever does anything to hurt you, you have plenty of people who would willing to take him out, people willing to defend them and a couple of judges who would say it was justifiable." Jen smiled. "Congratulations guys. Be happy."
There was a round of applause.
"I just thought of one final thing before we finish this impromptu set of speeches." AJ said. "We'll be expecting you at your desks no later than 0830 a week Monday."
"Aye aye sir." They both said.
TBC
"Go ahead sir." Jen said. "Wouldn't be a wedding without speeches."
"Thank you Petty Officer." AJ said. "I'll keep this short. I just wanted to say that we're all very proud of you and wish you the best of luck and hope that you're very happy together. I'd also like to take this opportunity to remind everyone else that JAG Headquarters is not your own personal dating service and that Admiral's privilege only extends so far." There was a chuckle from the military members of the group. "So everyone please raise your glass to Jennifer and Jason. Congratulations."
"Jennifer and Jason." Everyone echoed.
"One other order of business while I have your attention." AJ said. "We weren't sure what to get you for a wedding present, but Lieutenant Sims came up with a suggestion. Using the Rabb family connections, without the Commander's knowledge, we got you this." Gunny and Harriet bought over the large rectangular gift.
Jen and Jason pulled off the paper.
"Wow, it's beautiful." Jen said.
"It really is. Thank you everyone." Jason said.
"What is it?" Harm asked. Jason turned the frame around to reveal a painting of the Lincoln Memorial at sunset. "Francis Jacobson?" Harm questioned.
"Very good Commander." AJ replied.
"How did you know that buddy?" Sturgis asked.
"My mother owns the art gallery." Harm replied.
"Trish made sure he had a good appreciation for the arts." Grams added. "Right down to the time she took him the ballet."
"Ballet?" Mac questioned.
"I'd rather not discuss that." Harm replied.
"I'll tell you later." Grams said.
"Besides which it's signed in the bottom left hand corner."
"Very observant Harm." Sturgis said.
"Good qualities for a pilot and a lawyer." AJ added.
"Sir, I think it's a whole other thing that makes them choose people as pilots." Mac said. "Namely..."
"Ego." Jen finished for her. Harm looked at her. "Sorry sir."
"For that I think I should make a speech." Harm said. "Since I was asked to stand in for the father of the bride, I believe you are all owed a father of the bride speech."
"Should I be worried?" Jen whispered to Mac.
"He pulled it off the internet before we left work yesterday, just in case." Mac replied.
"We all got you traditional gifts too." Harriet whispered to Jen. "But we left them at home we thought it would be easier than having to carry them back."
"Thank you."
"Ladies and gentlemen." Harm started. "I appropriated this speech for such an occasion, I may not agree with all the sentiments, but never the less it does seem appropriate. Here goes. A marriage certificate is very much like a blank lottery ticket. It carries the anticipation of a rosy future. Everything always perfect from now on. At the time of acquiring it however, there is nothing to distinguish the jackpot winner from an out-and-out no- hoper! Jason and Jen, like a lottery, a marriage requires input from you.
Like a lottery it all depends on the selections or decisions that you make. Unlike a lottery having made the initial decisions, you can't just sit back and wait to see if your prize has come up. Marriage is a participation game and requires love, attention and constant tweaking and fine tuning. I believe that marriage will teach Jason, loyalty, self-restraint, and control. It will develop in him a sense of fair play..... and many other qualities.....which he probably wouldn't have needed if he had stayed single! Seriously though, as someone with some experience of marriage, I would like to warn this beginner here about what he'll be up against.
You must consider the words of Oscar Wilde, "Women are meant to be loved, not understood"
Jason....Now that you are married, Jen will always have the last word in any argument - any word that you come out with afterwards is by default, the start of a whole new argument! Remember, when you buy her flowers ...it PROVES you're guilty. (But of course, beware the far more serious consequences of not buying her flowers!) Remember to put the seat down after you. And always remember those two invaluable words "Yes Dear" I wish you a wonderful marriage, and I hope you have a really great honeymoon, which, Jason you will find is the period between "I do" and "You'd better" And finally, please be all upstanding and join me in a toast; Jason and Jennifer." Harm finished.
"Jason and Jennifer." Everyone echoed.
"That was a nice speech sir." Jason said.
"The Commander's not the only who can appropriate a speech just in case the occasion arose." Gunny said. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me begin by putting Jason out of his misery.
Jason, I want you to know that I thought about taking a rattle around in your closet and bringing out a few skeletons.
But it's not going to happen. That's not what this is all about.
So sorry, folks. I won't be mentioning the special name his friends in the chess club had for him.
I won't be mentioning what he did when he was eleven that scandalized the neighbours.
And whatever he's done with rubber chickens in the past...well that's his own business. Well I would mention those stories if I actually knew they were true, but I've been shield from them. I just wanted to say Jen you look beautiful and if Jason ever does anything to hurt you, you have plenty of people who would willing to take him out, people willing to defend them and a couple of judges who would say it was justifiable." Jen smiled. "Congratulations guys. Be happy."
There was a round of applause.
"I just thought of one final thing before we finish this impromptu set of speeches." AJ said. "We'll be expecting you at your desks no later than 0830 a week Monday."
"Aye aye sir." They both said.
TBC
