Mrs Scully's House
10am, 23rd December

"Mom, did Mulder phone to say he would be late?"

"No sweetie, I spoke to him yesterday at about 6 and he promised he would be here. Maybe he's just running late Dana, why don't you give him a call?"

"I tried to already, there's no answer at his apartment or on his cell-phone. I don't know where else to try."

Maggie watched her daughter's face fill with worry as she imagined what could have kept her partner away. Although she knew that there could actually be reason for concern considering his promise to be there at nine on the dot, she also knew that her panicking would not help her daughter. There could just as easily be a perfectly good reason for his late arrival and keeping calm was the only way to find out.

"Mom he could have crashed his car on his way or what if..."

"Dana, calm down. You can't go worrying about what ifs. He's only slightly over an hour late it could just be that he overslept. He might have switched his cell off or even left it at home by mistake if he was running late and that's why you can't reach him. Fox will be here, just wait."

"Fox went bye-bye Gamma."

"What?"

Mother and daughter turned at the small voice and found Charlie's four-year-old son, Peter standing behind them.

"Fox went bye-bye."

"Peter, how do you know that honey?"

"Dana, he doesn't even know Fox, he's never met him. He probably thinks we mean the fox out of his story-books."

"No, Gamma, no story. Mr. Fox went bye-bye. He sad."

The two women looked at each other then Scully held out her hand to Peter. Peter took her hand and the pair went into the kitchen and sat down, Peter on Scully's lap. Mrs Scully stayed in the hall and tried to phone Mulder once more, hoping that he would pick up and just be stuck in traffic. Her daughter ought to have a happy Christmas and she was only going to be completely happy when Fox arrived. Fox also deserved a happy Christmas and so she hoped that her grandson was mistaken about him leaving and being sad.

"Honey, what do you mean 'Mr. Fox went bye-bye', was he here?

"Uh huh Auntie Day, he at the door with pretty flowers."

"So where did he go?"

"He went bye-bye in a car fast. He sad."

"How do you know he was sad honey?"

"He cry in his car."

"Oh, Mulder."

"What's a Mulder Auntie Day?"

"Mulder is Fox's other name, that's what I call him."

"Did I make you sad? I'm sorry."

"Oh honey, it's okay. I'm just sad that Mulder was crying. Do you know why he went?"

"Uncle Bill mad. He cross at him then Mr. Fox was sad and went bye-bye."

"What did Uncle Bill say to him, Peter?"

"He laughed and said to Mr. Fox you and Gamma didn't want him to come. He said that you asked him to come only 'cos you felt bad that he didn't have any place else to go. Why did you ask him to come if you didn't want him to be here Auntie Day?"

"I do want him here sweetheart. Gamma and me both want him here, that's why we asked him to come... Oh, I don't believe he did this."

"Auntie Day, are you mad at me. I never wanted him to go. I wanted him to stay but it was too cold outside and Uncle Bill closed the door. Don't be cross please."

"Oh no honey sorry, I'm not mad at you, I promise. I'm cross with Uncle Bill. It was his fault he left, not yours."

"Is Mr. Fox coming back then? Only Uncle Bill said that he could do us a favour and say goodbye forever. I don't want him to go away forever Auntie Day. He looked fun. Do you want him to not come back as well?"

"Goodbye forever? Oh Bill what have you done? Mulder had better not do that... Sorry Peter, just talking to myself. Of course I want him to come back, he's my friend."

"Maybe he'll give you a present when he comes back. Uncle Bill said you told him that Mr. Fox gave you one before but you didn't like it. Why didn't you like his present? I always like presents."

"Well you're definitely going to enjoy Christmas then aren't you? What present did Bill say I didn't like? I don't know which one he's talking about. I've liked all of Mulder's gifts."

"He said he gave you cancer. What's that Auntie Day? Can I have one too...for Christmas?"

Scully gasped at what her nephew had just told her that her brother had said and couldn't answer his questions. She gulped in air as she tried to keep her tears at bay, not wanting her nephew to see her cry.

'Bill said I told him that Mulder gave me my cancer ...... he actually said that... to Mulder! I can't believe he would say that to him. No wonder he left, no wonder he was crying. God, he blames himself for it already but now he thinks that we think it's his fault to. Oh my God. Don't leave me Mulder. Please'

"Auntie Day, don't cry. I'm sure he got you a good present for this Christmas. I kiss it better, don't be sad Auntie Day."

"Dana, I still can't get through to him, do you know anywhere else he might be ...... sweetie what's wrong, why are you crying? Was Peter talking about Mulder when he said Fox left? Did he leave?"

Mrs Scully crossed the kitchen quickly and sat beside her daughter, wrapping her arm around her and hugging her as best she could with Peter in her lap. Peter, oblivious to what he had just revealed, was very confused but he put his arms round Scully's neck and patted her on the back, trying to comfort his favourite Auntie. Still too shocked at what Peter had told her, Scully just clung onto her mother, squeezing Peter into the middle of their hug. Maggie cuddled the two in silence knowing that when her daughter calmed down she would find out what had her so upset.

"Oh mom, I..."

"It's okay sweetie. Take your time."

"Mom it's Bill, he made him leave. He said...oh God, he said we didn't want him here."

"What? Why on earth would he tell him that?

"I don't know mom. Mulder always said that Bill didn't like him but I thought it was just an excuse for not coming here with me. Now, I don't know, maybe he said something to him before and he just didn't tell me about it."

"Sweetie its okay, you just need to find him and tell him we do want him. ... What else is wrong, that can't be all."

"Bill told him... he said we blamed him for my cancer, he said that I told him Mulder gave it to me mom."

"He actually said that to Fox?"

"Yes. Peter heard him. He thought he was talking about a present that he'd given me - he doesn't know what cancer is. I never told Bill that he gave me it mom, I swear. I would never say that, not to anyone because I know it isn't true. Mom I didn't, I couldn't."

"Sweetie, calm down. It's okay. I know you would never say that. I hope you know that I never told Bill that I blamed Fox...I hope you know that I don't blame him."

"I know mom, I know."

"I'll go talk to Bill and find out what is going on.

"Mom he made him cry. Mulder hardly ever cries, and certainly not in public but Bill made him cry. I really don't want to spoil our Christmas but you can tell Bill that until he apologises to Mulder..."

"Dana it's alright. I'm mad at him too and Christmas is already spoilt if Fox isn't here and is upset."

At this reminder of Mulder's tears, Scully covered her eyes with her hand, trying to hide the stray tears from her mother and nephew. Maggie embraced her daughter once more and rocked her gently until she collected herself. Stroking her hair away from her face, she handed Scully a tissue from the box on the table for her to wipe her eyes.

"He told Mulder never to come back mom - never! He has to come back mom. He has to. He wouldn't leave me, would he?"

"Of course not sweetie, Fox would never leave you. You know that."

"But what if he does mom? ...What if he really thinks I blame him and he leaves me? What then? ... I ..."

"Dana stop. No more what ifs. I told you already. He is not going to leave you. You're going to go and phone him and explain everything and then get him to come back here."

"Okay mom. ...Thank you."

"Not a problem sweetie, you just keep calm and find him. I'm going to find your brother and if he says any thing bad about Fox he's going to get what's coming to him."

"Mom, keep your voice down ... Peter."

"Auntie Day is Gamma mad at Uncle Bill?"

"Yes she is Peter. Uncle Bill said something not nice to Mulder and he needs to be told off okay?"

"Is Uncle Bill a bastard Gamma?"

"Peter! You shouldn't be using that word. It's bad. Where did you hear it?"

"Uncle Bill said it to Mr. Fox when he was mad at him. He said he was a selfish, pathetic b... I'm sorry Gamma."

"Oh, I'm going to kick his a..."

"Dana sssh! It's okay Peter I'm not mad at you. Don't use it again alright."

"Okay Gamma."

"Right Dana, you go track down that man of yours and I will go sort out your brother."

"Mom, Mulder's not 'my man' - you know that. We're just friends."

"Okay Dana but..."

"Not now mom, I just need to find him. You can lecture me about how he's the love of my life later, okay?"

"Fine sweetie, but you think about it some more. Just because you're friends and partners does not mean that you can't be more"

"Mom, I said later."

At this, Scully left the kitchen and went into the hall to use the phone, effectively ending the discussion. What she had said to her mom about needing to find Mulder was true but it wasn't the only reason that she didn't want to have the conversation about their relationship. She knew that her mom was right, that she did want Mulder as more than just a friend. Scared that he might not feel the same, she had always denied that she was in love with him. She had finally admitted it to herself quite recently when he brought round videos one night to cheer her up when she had been feeling down.

She smiled slightly as she remembered the nervous look on his face as she had opened the door to him. She had been taken with the shy manner in which he had held the videos up in front of him with one hand, offering them to her as if fearing she might tell him to go home. His face had lit up when she had opened the door wide to let him in, thanking him for coming over. They had sat and watched them together over Chinese takeout and ice cream and Mulder hadn't complained once, even though they were all girlie movies. She had realised that she found more enjoyment in the fact that he was there with her than she found by watching the movies. They had sat close together on the couch and he had put his arm round her shoulder sometime during the second film. When she had laid her head on his shoulder at the beginning of the last movie and he had pulled her closer to him, she had felt totally content. She had fallen asleep there in his arms with her head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat beneath her. The next morning she had awoken in her bed, oddly disappointed that he was not lying there next to her. Confused, she had pondered her feelings whilst lying there and it had hit her; she was in love. Unwilling to share her realisation with anyone, she shied away from any discussion about it with her mother.

Realizing that this was not the time to be remembering, she shook her head from side to side to clear it. She picked up the phone in the hall and dialled Mulder's cell phone number, tapping her fingers impatiently off the hall table.

'Please pick up Mulder. I need to tell you that it's not your fault. I need to tell you to come back, to come and celebrate Christmas with me. It's not going to be fun for me without you. Please Mulder, I need you here with me.'

The phone kept ringing though and soon she was listening to a recorded message telling her that the 'cellular user she was trying to reach was unavailable'. Slamming the phone down in its cradle, she took a deep breath to hold back her frustration and picked it up again, this time dialling Mulder's apartment number. This also rang out with not even the machine picking up.

'Oh Mulder, where are you?'

She suddenly had another idea and dialled another number, hoping that the gunmen had heard from him or knew where else he could be. Waiting for one of the guys to answer the phone, she worried her bottom lip between her teeth and drew her fingers anxiously through her hair.

"Lone Gunmen."

"Hey. It's Scully. Turn the tape recorder off."

"It's off."

"Is that you Byers?"

"Yes its me. What's up Agent Scully?"

"I was just calling to see if any of you have seen Mulder."

"He was round here yesterday dropping off Christmas gifts but we haven't seen him since then. Isn't he spending the week with you at your mom's?"

"Yes he was, I mean he is...it's just..."

"What's wrong Agent Scully, is he in danger?"

"No... I mean I don't think so. He left and I don't know where he's gone. He's not picking up either of his phones and I didn't know where else to try."

"Why did he leave if you don't mind me asking? Did you guys have a fight?"

"No. I didn't even see him. He didn't even come in. He left because of something my brother Bill said to him. Actually, quite a few 'somethings.'"

"It's got to have been bad. Mulder wouldn't walk away from a week with you very easily."

"It was bad. He told him that my mom and I blamed him for my cancer among other things."

"Oh. That's really not good."

"I know that Byers. Now do you know where he is or where he might be? I really need to talk to him."

"I'll say. You gotta find him quick Dana. He could go off the deep-end about this one."

"What?!"

"Well you know what nearly happened last time he was feeling guilty about your cancer don't you? ... Don't you?"

"Byers ... what are you talking about?"

"Oh, you don't know. Damn it. I've put my foot in it now haven't I?"

"I suggest you tell me exactly what you're talking about. What nearly happened last time? In fact, what do you mean by 'last time'?"

"I forgot you didn't see the surveillance tapes, you were in hospital when we got them."

"What surveillance tapes Byers?"

"The ones we got from that DoD guy Mulder shot - when you guys faked his suicide. Remember?"

"I remember it all too well. What about the tapes? What's on them?"

"I don't really know how to say this. He probably doesn't want you to know. Hell, I don't even think he knows that we saw the tapes. He was kind of busy after he dropped them off what with you being ill."

"Byers get to the point. What's on the damn tapes?"

"Um..."

"Byers I mean it. You told me earlier I needed to hurry up and find him. I can't do that until you tell me why so what gives?"

"Lets just say that the lie you told was almost the truth."

"Lets say more Byers. You can't mean..."

"I'm sorry Agent Scully but that's exactly what I mean. He almost did it. We think he only didn't because he noticed the camera. I think that, when he found the guy, he hoped that he would have a chance to save you. He couldn't ignore the possibility that he could find a cure for you - so he didn't go through with it."

"Why Byers? Why would he even consider it? What could push him that close?"

"You did Scully."

"Me? ...It's my fault?"

"No, absolutely not! That's not what I meant. I just meant that he couldn't live with the fact that you were going to die. He couldn't stand the fact that, not only was there nothing he could do about it, he knew that he was to blame."

"But he wasn't to blame. It wasn't his fault."

"I know that Dana and you know that but Mulder didn't. We figured you must have told him it wasn't his fault when he quit blaming himself totally."

"I did. I told him so many times. I got through to him, I know I did but now Bill's made him think that I lied to him."

"He needs to know that you didn't lie Dana. He trusts you so completely that this could break him."

"God Byers. I've gotta go. If you hear from him, please tell him to phone me. Tell him that Bill was lying, that I...I need him to come back here."

"Of course Agent Scully."

With that Scully hung up the phone and stared at it for a long moment, not quite believing what she had just heard, not wanting to believe what Byers had told her. She felt tears fill her eyes once again as she thought of her partner, alone and distraught, blaming himself for something completely out-with his control. A lone tear trickled down her cheek as she considered for a second what her life would be like without Mulder. She pushed the thought as far back in her mind as it would go, knowing that she wouldn't be able to bare it.

'Mulder, please don't do anything stupid. I need you.'

"So where's this famous partner of yours then sis? I thought he was supposed to be here by now. Is he going to be late?"

Scully jumped and swung round at the loud voice coming from behind her, quickly wiping her tears away. Her brother Charlie was standing behind her, leaning against the wall smirking at her startled reaction. His smirk faded and was replaced by a look of concern when he realized that his sister had been crying. Recognising that she was not too far away from tears again, he slipped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug.

"Day... I'm sorry. I didn't know you were upset or I wouldn't have made you jump. What's wrong?"

"Nothing Charlie, I'm just trying to find Mulder.

"It doesn't look like nothing to me. Why isn't he here already? ... Or is that the reason you're upset, because he isn't here?"

"Charlie, it's a long story. The result of which means that I'm severely pissed off at Bill and I don't know where Mulder is."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"I don't know. I don't know how else to find him. He isn't picking up either of his phones and I don't know what else to try. Charlie, he never turns off his cell-phone, even if he's avoiding me. He knows he should always keep it on so that I can reach him or work can."

"Well what if he's just at home and isn't picking up?"

"He could be I suppose but I don't know. I should drive over there and see. I didn't want to spoil Christmas for the rest of you guys by having to leave. I wanted to explain it to him and get him back here as soon as possible."

"It seems to me that the best way to do that is to find him and you're not going to do that sitting here. Go get in your car and drive over there. The quicker you find him, the sooner we can all start celebrating."

"You're right Charlie. I need to go. I'll just go and tell mom that I'm leaving."

"See you when you get back then day. Make sure you bring him back with you, I'm dying to meet your other half."

"Charlie..."

"I know, I know. Just friends right?"

"Right."

Scully made her way back through to the kitchen after picking up her car keys and putting her coat over her arm. She found Maggie in the kitchen with one of Charlie's two-year-old twins, Adele.

"Hey mom. I'm going over to Mulder's apartment to see if he's there okay?"

"Sure Dana. Is he still not picking up?"

"No, he's not. Did you talk to Bill yet?"

"He's just changing Matthew's diaper. Tara's exhausted still and she's lying down. I thought I would wait until she was awake so I'm not shouting with Mattie in the room."

"Sure mom. I'll be back as soon as I find him okay?"

"Did you try Mulder's friends, the Gunmen? Maybe he's with them."

"Yes I phoned them after I couldn't get through to Mulder. I told them a shortened version of the story after they said they hadn't seen them. The guys are worried about him - they told me to find him quickly."

"What do you mean? ... What are they worried about?"

"Oh mom... They ...they said..."

"Sweetie? ... What is it? ... Come on Dana, you're worrying me now."

"They think he might try to ... to hurt himself."

"Dana, no. He wouldn't."

"That's what I thought but they said he nearly did before when I was sick and he blamed it on himself."

"Oh my goodness. Go Dana, go find him."

"Mom don't tell the rest about this, I don't want everyone knowing."

"Of course not Dana. I won't tell a soul.

"Thanks mom. I'll see you soon okay?"

"Alright sweetie. Give Fox my love."