Chapter 13: Aftermath

Spike held on tightly to Buffy as they, along with Dawn and Drusilla entered his apartment. Buffy hadn't spoken since she had saw Xander. It was like she was in another world, virtually comatose. And it scared her. Because he had seen how much better she was getting and he was so afraid that it would all go away now. He loved her so much, the thought of her as ill as she had been terrified him.. He would stick by her no matter what, but he would give anything for her not to be hurting and afraid. Seeing her in such a state broke his heart. He moved her inside and sat her on the couch. No one said anything, they just watched her, watched her sit there in a trance. And they all wanted to cry.

An hour passed, still there was no change. Spike had moved her to lie in his bed. Now he Dawn, and Drusilla sat in the living room. Spike and Dawn discussing the situation while Drusilla listened in.

"I've never seen her like this before. I know mom shut me out on a lot before, but I don't think she was ever like this" Dawn said sadly

"I could kill him, I really could. Seeing her like this, and knowing it's because of him makes me just want to rip his head off" Spike said angrily. He stood up and began to stomp angrily around the room shouting

"I want to make him suffer, I want him to hurt the way he hurt her. I want him to know that he has me to answer to . I want him to pay" he was shut up by a hand on his arm, he turned to look at Dawn, she gave a sad smile and said softly

"I know. I hate him to, for what he did to her, but none of that is the answer"

"But I just, I don't know what to do."

"I'm just going to check on Buffy" Drusilla said leaving the room.

"I'm scared" Spike whispered. Dawn wrapped him into a hug, offering only comfort for a man whose love for her sister shone so brightly. He hugged her back equally as tight, needing something to cling to. However, the peace was broken by Drusilla's scream

"Spike, Spike you have to come here" Spike let go and ran towards his room. When he got there he saw Buffy blood streaming from her fist. His mirror shattered to pieces. She held a piece of the glass at her wrists, tears running from her eyes

"Buffy, baby, what are you doing?" Spike asked gently, overcome with terror at the sight and the thought that Buffy would do something to hurt herself.

"I want it to end. Hurts too much. Want it to be gone. Want him to be gone" she said though clenched teeth. Spike inched closer

"Buffy sweetheart, please don't do this" he heard a squeak from the door and knew Dawn was there. But he didn't look back. He just kept walking closer to Buffy.

"Over, want it to be over" Buffy repeated, more to herself than anyone else in the room.

"Buffy don't" Dawn yelled from the doorway. Buffy barely spared her a glance.

"I have to" she said softly. But Spike was by her side now. He took hold of her arm

"Spike, let me go, please, let me do this" he moved his hand to her wrist and squeezed, hard, forcing her to let go of the glass. He turned and took hold of her by both arms

"I won't Buffy, I'm never going to let you go. I want to protect you. You have been doing so well. Buffy, if you do this they'll keep you in that hospital. Is that what you want? You can be out of there in a month or so. You can be here with me, where I can look after you, and love you. Don't you want that? Don't you love me?" his voice was filled with desperation, and tears were falling from his own eyes now.

"Yes" Buffy choked out "I love you, you know that. But I want it to end. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want, I want..." she trailed off as she crumpled to the floor still holding Spike and tears cascading down both their cheeks.

Dawn and Drusilla looked at each other, and quietly left the room.

Somehow they ended up in bed and fell asleep. Spike awoke an hour later, Buffy's arms wrapped around him. He pulled her close and kissed her softly before allowing himself to drift off again. The next time he was woken it was by a sweet kiss from Buffy. He turned to face her, sad smile in place.

"Hey you, felling better?" he asked

She nodded slightly "Yeah, I'm sorry I scared you"

He pulled her closer "You did scare me. But I'm just glad you didn't do anything. I'm just so glad that you're ok" he leaned up to kiss her. It was only meant to be a short kiss, a kiss of comfort and love. But it soon became more. It developed into a kiss of pure need. Buffy sat back on her heels and pulled of the t-shirt she had slept in. She then disposed of her panties before leaning into kiss him again. Reaching down to unbutton his pants.

"Buffy," he breathed "maybe we shouldn't"

"No, Spike I want this, I need this" she pulled his jeans off completely so that they were both now naked. He nodded and laced a hand between her legs, finding her already sopping with her need for him. He flipped them over and began to move his way down her body but she pulled him back

"Just need you inside" she gasped. So he moved up her body again, and kissed her deeply as he entered her slowly.

The rocked together gently. Letting all their love be poured into this act. Their pace never changed. The moved slowly, with soft moans emitting from each of them from time to time. Their other times had been loud and crazy, but yet this time, this occasion was more passionate than any other. And when they came, they came together. Soft sighs of the others name one their lips.

They emerged from the room several hours later, finding a note written by Dawn

"Hey, thought you guys would need some time alone. So I dropped Drusilla off at the hospital. Spike I took your car. I'll bring it back in the morning to take me to the airport. Hope you guys are ok. Love you Buffy.

Dawn"

Buffy smiled, seemingly back to her old self

"So what do you wanna do now?" she asked coyly

"I was thinking, we would just spend time together, watch television"

"Sounds good, but we could do other stuff too right?" she looked at him hopefully and a wide smile spread on his face

"Oh yeah" he took her hand and pulled her into a kiss. Before leading her back to the bedroom.