Disclaimer- Hey…guess what? I still don't own. Gah.
I woke up, dazed, in a fancy room, in a fancy bed. "Where the frick am I?!" I said to no one in particular. Just as I suspected, no one answered. I sighed, and swung out of my bed.
Then I remembered: I had "magically" been transported into Middle Earth.
"Well, this is a bit of a pickle, isn't it?" I muttered to myself. I heard the door open, and looked up.
"Ah, my lady, you have awakened," Legolas said.
My initial reaction was to stare googly-eyed (like "O.O"), and so I did. He laughed. "I did not think that other Elvish princesses were so..."
"Waitaminute, what do you mean… Elvish princess?" I said, eyeing him warily.
Just then, Elrond entered. God, had my makeshift bedroom been turned into a museum?
"Welcome to Rivendell," he said, smiling.
I knew then something was seriously wrong. First of all, I WAS NOT AN ELVISH PRINCESS (unfortunately). Secondly, in both the books and movie, Elrond smiles once in a millennia. And thirdly…erm…well, let's just look at the situation…
I WAS IN MIDDLE EARTH, WHICH WAS A FICTIONAL PLACE!!!
So I came to the conclusion I was dreaming.
I ran up to the dresser and banged my head against it.
"My lady Vanimavalië!! Why do you harm yourself!?" Legolas cried. Cross-eyed with pain (and partially confusion), I looked at them. "My name is not Vanimavalië. My name is Audrey, and I live in the United States in the year 2004," I clearly stated. Elrond and Legolas stared at each other, muttering softly in Elvish.
"Vanimavalië, you are indubitably amnesiac. Please, rest, and we will speak again with you when you are feeling better," Elrond said, leaving. Legolas remained in the doorway. "What is going on here?!" I yelled, my voice echoing in the immense room.
Legolas smiled again. At first it was nice and swoon-worthy, but now it was starting to freak me out. "My lady, please rest… you are weary and-"
"I DON'T CARE IF I'M WEARY! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!!" I screamed. Legolas winced.
"Please sit down. Against my better wishes, I shall tell you all I know," he said. I sat down quicker than Captain Jack Sparrow bolting for rum.
What he told me would shock me…and almost convince me I was amnesiac.
A/N- Gah! Sorry, people, about the short chapters. Erm…I needed to post something before I go away, and A/Ns as chapters aren't permitted (grr.). So the shortness of this will have to do.
I'm going away to North Carolina for spring break…. Starting Friday, April 9th, and will be gone until the 18th. I won't be able to post because there is INCREDIOUSLY SLOW internet access, so I don't even bother. But I WILL be writing a lot on paper, so hopefully, new chappies will ensue upon my return. But review! I want something other than junk mail when I return!
On a brighter note….
I AM NOT DISCONTINUING THIS FIC! Just because it's a bit of a challenge (and believe me, it is), I will continue! And survive! (Randomness r0x0rs).
shakespearette- Woot! My first reviewer is an old reviewer! Huzzah! More shall come. All shall not fade. I am too random… THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!
Poor Richard- Thank you for the props, but even more for the suggestions. Contrary to popular belief, I do not mind it when people give me advice. I just mind it when they're all "your story sux0rs and blahdiddyblahblahblah" and accuse me of things I did not do, or did not know about, etc.. The Big Red Button was a great idea, but I have the idea that I shall make Audrey a Mary Sue against her will. A bit different, and it was inspired by a fic written by the Noble Platypus (I will admit right out I did not think of the Resistant Mary Sue idea.). Sorry about your failed parody, but hey, with every failure comes a success, right (Argh, clichés suck.)
Cosmos Senshi- Don't die! Lolol. Thanks, and keep in mind this is A PARODY! About all I can write…well, I wouldn't say that. Hmm. Thanks for your review!
Calime- I understand the Nervous Laughter thing. So annoying, yet it does help the situation, no? Anyways, the honest answer to the Elvish phrase? I have no idea. I translated it on a site, and promptly forgot the meaning. Take me to Middle Earth…something or other. Gah, better put translations in from now on, hmm? VFLE= Vaguely Familiar Looking Elf. You shall see I am a very lazy typer and will shorten things to any extent of my ability. Pop-up ads suck. Thank god Pop-Up blockers were invented, or I might have to…not go on the computer! DUN DUN DUNNN!
Harry Potter's Crazed Stalker- Thanks! Great series, isn't it? Full of British humor…. I wish I was British.
Calime- (again) I have your respect? Aww…thank you! *beams* Here's more written! Not too much, granted, but enough. Hopefully. Don't you love messing up with surveys?! For one extra form, I was filling one in with a friend, and my God it was great! My mom is Julia Roberts. My dad was Johnny Depp (but I might have to change that, as I'm becoming a Depp fan, slowly but surely. GAH!) Thanks again!
sparrow's angel- WOOTNESS! Your fic is both god and good. But yes, it was a typo, lol. Mediaminer.org, huh? I'll have to check it out soon…*grumbles* I hate the FF.net Nazis. George Bush Followers! Gasp! Watch your language! (Yes, I am a Democrat. And proud of it.). I haven't read Straight Lego fic! Must read! I'm not much of an Elvish speaker…I cheat and look at translator sites. Shame, shame. You can have a small part, but shhh…FF.net Nazis might be on my tail again. Everyone's asking the Elvish thing, and I will admit it- I forgot. Gaah. Something "take me to middle earth?" I'll post it in next chapter.
Karmabelle- Yay, YOU'RE back! I lurve my PotC-CotF reviewers who have followed me. Brings a tear to my eye. Gracias for the props!
Divinething- I actually almost cried when they deleted it. God…I miss it here. I HAVE reposted it on fosff.net under Lady Rumbottom, but it's not the same! *bursts into tears* No reviews, and two chapters. I am one very spoiled authorette. Audrey is so, so cool. Gotta lurve her and her Lego-worshipping.
Insane Stalkers- Aspirin and caffeine. Teehee, I'm not stealing Leggy from you! I have Valandil…*eyes Meleth eyeing him, and sends rabid squirrels after her* BOOOAHAHAHAHAHA! Elvish smackdown!
Laraeliae Black- Wanna know the truth? I really don't either. I'm just typing in my little world… CotF was deleted because of the script format. ARRRRRRRRGH. It's reposted on fosff.net now, but it's not the same! Merci for reviewing!
LegolasLover/LOTRchick- Yes! Ahahahah, love your new s/n! LEGGY! NEVER FEAR! Here, have a lollypop. *hands him a lollypop, and he eyes it fearfully* Booahahahaha. I hate Mary Sues too, and their perfection…grr. I don't think I got your email…what was your address? I can check, but I don't think I did. I'll be happy to beta! I don't usually read things like that, but I'm honored that you asked! Character deaths are fun! *pitchfork is thrown in general direction of Authorette's head* Yeep! And so is making people OOC *another pitchfork* YEEP! I LOVE TORTURING CHARACTERS! Is that a crime?! ("Only in 47 separate states.")
Thank you for your reviews, and KEEP EM COMING! Now I really must be going. There's a mosquito in here somewhere, and it has bit me continuously. Itch. Itch.
