Samantha was furious with Martin and didn't know how to comfort herself, but that need to be wanted was still with her. She thought of going to the bar on the corner and finding someone who would want her, but then it hit her. If she wanted a guy to comfort her now, perhaps that's what Martin had been, just a guy to comfort her, exactly as he had said. But a part of her wouldn't let her accept that idea because Martin was a friend, or had been before tonight, and she wouldn't use a friend like that, would she?
Now doubt filled her head, if Martin had been right, or at least in the ballpark, about why she had invited him here could he be right about her feelings for Jack. It was insane though, she thought, to love someone far after they returned any feelings for you, or, hell, even acknowledged that any feelings had been there in the past. Jack had made it perfectly clear to her and to everyone that he was going to make his marriage work and he was even moving to Chicago for the family.
When was she going to move on? What was I expecting from Jack, what have I been waiting for, she asked herself. She wanted to blame Jack, but knew that he was not at fault. She needed to talk to someone, to verbalize her thoughts and have someone listen, but who. She looked around her apartment for inspiration and noticed the lack of photos as Martin had earlier. She had no family to turn to, no older wiser siblings to seek advice from, she had driven away anyone who had tried to befriend her over the years telling herself that her job was her life. A friendly neighbor? No, she had not made any effort to meet them since she moved in. She felt alone and miserable and stupid. The only person she could talk to was the person she had just ordered out of her apartment, out of her life, and for what, for pointing out the truth to her that she was too blind and too stubborn to see. And now she had to swallow her pride and call him because she had no one else.
She reached for the phone and began to dial, but tears welled up in her eyes as she imagined Martin picking up the other end and hanging up on her when she tried to speak. Why would he listen to her after she had thrown him out, been so cruel to him? She decided to call Vivian, after all she knew about her affair with Jack and probably knew that she was still harboring feelings for him. It must be obvious around the office. But as she dialed Vivian, she knew that Viv would not be able to help her. She had never approved of the relationship and would only be judgmental and that is definitely not what she needed now. Her thoughts drifted back to Martin and again she began to dial his number, quickly, get it over with she thought, but her fingers would not follow her commands.
She rose to replace the phone and saw Martin's jacket that he had left here when she forced him to leave. She picked it up and breathed in the deep smell of the leather with just a hint of Martin's cologne. She wrapped herself in the jacket and sat back on the couch. She thought that she would never get to sleep that night, but her swirl of emotions through the entire day must have wiped her out because the next thing she knew the phone was ringing and sunlight was streaming in the window.
She picked up the phone and heard Vivian's voice.
"Samantha, are you all right?" Vivian asked concerned.
"Vivian?" Samantha tried to orient herself quickly, shaking the sleep from her head.
"Yes, it's Vivian. I was worried about you, you didn't come in or call this morning."
"Oh, what time is it? I just woke up to the phone," Samantha stated.
"It's nearly eleven, we are supposed to go do the Weaver interview at eleven."
"Oh, Viv, I forgot, I can't believe I slept so long, it was a trying day yesterday. I'll meet you there, no I'll never make it, can you go with Danny or Martin?" Samantha was now running around her apartment trying to get ready with one hand on the phone. She had never been late to work before and today of all days.
"Yeah, I already asked Danny to go, but you need to come in and help Martin with those bank statements."
The idea of being alone with Martin for hours pouring over bank records did not appeal to her, but it was her fault. If she'd been on time she would be conducting an interview with Viv instead. She felt foolish about being alone with Martin, especially when she looked down and saw that she was still wearing his jacket. Finally, she responded to Vivian, "Yeah, I can help with that, I'll be in as soon as possible. Thanks for the call Viv." Then as an afterthought she asked, "Is Jack in the office today? Does he know I'm late?"
Vivian replied, "No, Jack took the day off. I assume he was going to try to finish packing. His last day is Friday, they're leaving soon."
"OK, see you later Viv, thanks again."
Samantha hung up the phone and rushed to get ready.
TBC
