Disclaimer: Don't own nothing not even a smidgen. All works owned by J.K. Rowling Bloomsbury paperbacks and a few others.
Summary: A gift has arrived to none then Severus Snape and due to reasons, will not accept it. Will Dumbledore be able to persuade him to keep it, to open his heart and trust before it's all too late? 1st ff be nice RR
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Little Tigger: Thanks for your wonderful reviews... I'm glad someone is enjoying it since no one else has bothered reviewing... kind of disappointing but you get that. THANKS for your reviews they mean alot!
Love and Trust of the Heart
Chapter 5- The Deadly Gryffindor Ambition
Albus stared sadly at Severus, as he walked out. He took notice that Severus refused to look anyone in the eye. Albus stroked his beard, he's frighten. Albus took note of John who was now trying desperately not to burst out in tears, as he got out the chair. John looked up at Albus, "Orphanage, I now have to place her in an orphanage," he cried out.
"Mr. Murray, you must understand is that Severus has had a hard life, he has very little worth of himself. Please, leave her here. Severus will eventually come round." 'If I have anything to do with it.'
John looked at the old man. "I can't do that, sir-"
"He's afraid John."
"Afraid,"
"He's been alone for a long time. Leave the papers with me, I'll make sure he signs them."
The Auror looked at Isabelle and up at Albus and smiled slightly.
"I'll probably loose my job for this... There are some things you need to know about Isabelle sir. You see, you've probably noticed that this child hasn't even made a peep of noise."
Albus nodded, "I noticed that, I thought she was just very shy."
"No, she hasn't spoken since it's happened. I myself have never heard Isabelle speak or any noise, but I and other Aurors were assured by her mother she can."
"Oh," Albus replied.
"You think he'll come round."
"He will, he just needs a bit of persuasion."
Isabelle was looking up at John, sadly. John smiled and kissed her forehead, in which he earned a little adorable smile.
"Isabelle this is Albus Dumbledore," John replied pointing at him.
"Hello sweetheart," Dumbledore replied softly.
"He's going to look after you until your Uncle Severus comes around."
Isabelle stared at Albus shyly.
"Almost everything she owns has been burnt Albus, the only thing that was in good tack was this." John pulled out a photo frame and handed it to Albus. It was a photo of Sabrina cuddling Isabelle who was laughing.
"She'll need new clothes and a few toys."
John slowly put Isabelle down on the ground. He desperately tried to pry the child's hands off his robes.
"Isabelle sweetheart let go of my robes."
Isabelle stared at him before shaking her head a furious no.
Albus could see the Auror was having problems so he walked up to Isabelle.
"It's ok sweetheart," Albus said gently kneeling down to her level. "You can let go of John's robes, come on."
The only thing that did was tighten Isabelle's grip. Albus saw a glint in Isabelle's eyes. Albus had seen that same glint before in Severus' eyes when he was insecure. Isabelle was scared. Albus gently placed a hand on Isabelle's arm. "It's ok sweetheart, you're safe here. Your safe." Albus repeated, he saw Isabelle loosen on of her arms the one he was holding. He gently moved his hand over top of hers. It was so big compared to her tiny one. "It's ok sweetheart, you're safe."Albus watched Isabelle's hand hesitantly unlatched John's robes. Albus looked at John who was smiling, "One arm to go."
Albus kept repeating the words but it didn't seem to work. Albus thought of the times Severus came here, when he was little, those days where he didn't have trouble calling him Uncle Alby, how he used to calm him down, especially after a terrible nightmare.
"Isabelle, it's ok, its safe, grandpa's here." 'Uncle Alby just doesn't sound right.' "Grandpa's here, its safe." he repeated again.
Albus smiled brightly as Isabelle's fingers uncurled. Albus swiftly scooped Isabelle up into a hug.
Albus looked at the Auror, who was also smiling. Albus kissed Isabelle's forehead, which had her hands clutched tightly on his robes.
The Auror had glassy eyes. The Auror looked away quickly before he pulled something out of his robes. It was a chocolate brown teddy bear. He walked up smiling sadly at Isabelle. "I'm horrible at saying goodbyes," he heard him mumble, before handing Isabelle the bear.
"Here sweetheart," he replied kissing her forehead. "You be a good girl."
Albus watched Isabelle staring at the bear, her eyes full of joy. She hugged it tightly, before her hands were out opening and closing wanting to go to John.
"I-I don't think it'll be a good idea," he stammered.
Albus chuckled before moving up, "I just won't let go of her, I think she wants to say thank you."
John wore a strained smile as he hugged her goodbye with a final kiss. Isabelle had a strong grip on John, but she let go slowly. "Goodbye sweetheart."'
John looked at Albus, "Goodbye sir, and thank you."
"Nothing at all John, I'll make sure Isabelle will remembers you."
Albus watched the man smile before crossing towards the fireplace, before he threw the floo powder in. Albus watched as Isabelle watched crying, waving slightly. John had tears in his eyes as he waved goodbye back before entering the flames, and was seen no more. Albus felt Isabelle's head bury itself into his robes, holding tightly onto her teddy. Albus kissed her forehead, once again.
Severus was lying on his bed, as he had been ever since the meeting with the Auror and when he met his niece Isabelle. 'She looks so much like Sabrina. Except Sabrina was taller at her age.' He had his face buried in his pillow; he had finally let the tears fall after 2 hours of staying in the same position. Severus knew Albus would break into his rooms one way or another. Severus was finding it hard to comprehend he had no family left. Sure he hadn't spoken to Sabrina or really thought about her but it still hurt. Severus looked at his watch it was dinnertime. He stretched before entering his bathroom to wash his face. Severus didn't really want to speak to Albus, but he probably had no choice, he was a persistent old codger. Severus slowly made his way to the Great Hall, 'Albus has probably told the rest of the staff, now I have to put up with their fake pity.'
Severus entered the Great Hall with his menacing glare as he came face to face with other staff members who had phony sad expressions, wishing to give their condolences. If any staff member had a brain they would keep away from him. Severus noticed that Albus was not sitting in his usual seat. Severus wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Severus sat down at the head table in his usual seat. He could feel the rest of the staff members staring at him, exchanging glances between themselves.
"Severus, I'm sorry about your sister Sabrina," he heard Minerva say, in a soft quiet voice. Severus turned to Minerva unable not to glare. Severus had a very tight hold on knife and fork, "Just remember Severus, if you ever need to talk..." 'I will not lose my temper, I will remain calm.' Severus closed his eyes counting to ten before opening his eyes just giving a nod to Minerva. During dinner it was very quiet, mainly every eye on him. Albus still had not arrived he was Minerva was fidgeting slightly. Curiosity got the better of him, "Minerva, where is Albus?"
"I'm not sure Severus," her eyes were still filled with sympathy, she shifted uncomfortably.
The rest of dinner was pretty uncomfortable, with the eyes staring at him; he heard his colleagues whisper in quiet voices. Severus couldn't tolerate this for very long so as soon as he ate he left quickly, retreating to his rooms. Once he was there he headed straight to his bed even if it was still early, He lied in comfort of the sheets with memories of Sabrina sweep over him. Severus felt guilty; he should have written to Sabrina, he should have done something. Images of Isabelle filled his head, he was an uncle, Severus still couldn't believe it, him an uncle. Isabelle looked so much like Sabrina almost a splitting image only Sabrina was taller and didn't have freckles on her face. Severus wished he could curl up and die. It should be him who was dead not Sabrina. He was a deatheater, he had killed people, he should be dead not Sabrina. Severus heard his bedroom door open. Severus knew it was Albus, no one else knew how to undo the wards surrounding his chambers. Severus pretended to be asleep, hoping he would go away. Severus listened to Albus' footsteps as they came closer to the bed.
"Severus," he heard the man's soft reply.
Severus didn't reply, 'now go away,'
He felt Albus sit on the edge of his bed. Severus knew Albus wouldn't leave him alone. He'd probably sit there until he supposedly woke up. Just like the time when he and Potter were having an interesting duel on broomsticks during a quidditch match. It was just the usual harmless charm, here and there, but nothing serious like tampering with brooms, until Black got involved. Black did something making him fall about 70 feet from air. No one had seen him fall until it was too late to save him. They were watching famous Potter catch the snitch instead. After that all sorts of things happened, He got knocked out, when he awoke, he could hear Poppy talking to him about finding some scaring on his back, saying things like abuse. True they were from Artimetis, but he didn't tell anyone that. He remembered Albus sitting by his bed holding his hand, thinking he was asleep. He somehow dozed off and when he awoke, the headmaster was there still. He remembered Albus asking about those marks, he lied to him. Told him he had gotten into Artimetis' potion garden, and got tangled up with a flesh eating plant, useful in a hair re-growth potion. Luckily Poppy told Albus, the marks were very similar. Artimetis was always looking for new ways of punishment.
Severus sighed, "What do you want Albus?"
"To talk to you," he replied.
"Could it of waited until the morning, I'm rather tired-"
"Severus!" he heard Albus in a very stern voice. Albus' tone made Severus feel like a student again, that he actually cringed.
"I will not let you barricade yourself in these dungeons, and beat yourself into the ground. You'll need help through this, I want to help, I don't want you to build up all these walls around yourself and live in your memories and forget to live," Albus replied stern as ever.
"I have not barricaded myself in my dungeons, nor do I have walls up around myself," Severus protested bolting up right.
"You don't let anyone in that good heart of yours Severus, you push everyone away and I don't see you out and about on Hogsmeade trips, let alone enjoy yourself at Christmas or dances."
"Christmas and dances are just not what I'm into, let alone watching over 500 children is exactly what I consider enjoyable, nor do I push people away."
"You're doing it right now," Albus replied with a slight smile.
Severus opened and closed his mouth, "No I do not. You're here," Severus replied matter-of-factly. Not until those words flew out of his mouth did Severus realise what he said. Before Severus could react or take back what he said, he was pulled into a tight hug.
"That I am child, that I am."
Severus just groaned loudly, "That's not what I meant Albus,"
"If you didn't want help you wouldn't of said it."
"I don't need help, I'm just fine. I'm not-"
"Fine, you changed Severus ever since after your mother died. I've known you a lot longer then you think I have. I remember the little boy who had a smile for everyone, the boy that used to demand hugs, the child that use to laugh, the child that use to call me Uncle Alby, the child who never used to have a problem with telling me what was wrong, and never kept things from me."
"Times change," Severus answered. Severus couldn't remember that much of his so called childhood let alone anything Albus was talking about. All he could remember was little snippets of good memories but even then they were never clear.
"Severus why did you stop coming to see me after your mother died."
"I don't know Albus, I don't even remember my childhood,"
'I didn't have one,' Severus sighed.
Bad memories filled Severus' thoughts, those nights Artimetis was drunk, angry or disappointed. Severus could still remember the intensity of pain of his first dose the Cruciatus Curse. He had only been eight and a half at a time. Severus shuddered. When Severus looked up he saw Albus staring at him his eyes full of concern, anxiousness, and something else, but what.
"You lied to me," Albus replied hoarsely.
Severus stared at the man confused,
""Why Severus?"
"Why what?"
"Why didn't you come to me?"
"Wha-"
"You know you're like a son to me, why?"
"WHY what?"
"When did it start?" Albus asked getting up from the bed.
"What start!" Severus replied all this answering in questions was getting confusing, as he too got up off the bed.
Albus turned around, "The abuse!"
Whatever Severus thought Albus was going to say, he didn't expect that. The little colour in his face drained away. Severus opened and closed his mouth a couple of times.
"I-I-" his voice failed him. Severus clamped his mouth shut and looked down at the stone floor unable to say anything. The memories resurfaced instantly, the remembrances of the pain. Severus didn't hear Albus approach him. He felt Albus lift his chin up to look at him. His eyes were so full of emotion, Severus, couldn't pull those eyes away. Severus wanted to so badly turn away from those eyes that were like trying to open up his soul, and find his inner secrets, but his feet wouldn't budge.
"The past is past," Severus replied quietly, he managed to start his mind to command of looking down again.
"Child talk to me, you and I use to be so close," Albus' voice was so pleading, as he let himself be guided to the bed. "When did it start?"
Severus sighed deeply, trying desperately to keep the horrors from his mind. How was he going tell when he could hardly remember himself, let alone making Albus understand?
"Severus is it me, you don't want to talk to me, but you must understand you need to talk to someone," Albus persisted.
Severus was too shocked to reply because of what he was hearing. Didn't want to talk to him, talk to him, he'd rather Albus then anyone else. He didn't want to speak to some shrink that was going to mess with his head.
Albus obviously took Severus' silence the wrong way, as he stated, quietly, "I'll organize a counselor." Severus didn't realise Albus had moved, he was still in the shock of his assumption- preposterous.
Not only until a minute later still shocked, did Severus' mind register to him what Albus said. 'I'll organize a counselor.' Organize a -
Severus jumped off the bed and tore out the door calling "Albus!"
Severus knew once that counselor was organized he would have no say in the matter after that. Albus would persist him to go, assuring him it was okay, thinking he was frightened of talking about it. God knows what he would do. Severus sprinted into a run down to Dumbledore's office knocking down Flitwick as he did so.
When he got to Dumbledore's gargoyle he gasped out the password.
He ran through Albus's office. "ALBUS!" Severus shouted, before running into the next section of his office, "ALB-"he half shouted to find Albus next to the fireplace with Floo powder in his hand, staring at him very alarmed.
"Severus, child what in Merlin-"
"No... consel... counselor," Severus gasped out. He made it just in time. Albus must know a secret passage to get here so quickly.
Albus walked quickly over to him as Severus bent down deeply breathing in relief.
"What child what is it? I didn't hear what you said before."
Severus looked up still panting, lifting a hand up to signal wait.
"No... no counselor," he breathed out slowly looking up at Albus, his eyes very stern and had not twinkle, which made Severus look down again.
"That is out of the question Severus. I want to help you... you need to talk to someone," Albus replied walking back over to the fire.
"No," Severus replied, quickly grabbing Albus' hand firmly, from getting any closer to the fire to call the counselor.
"Severus! Let go child, I know your scared but you need to talk to someone."
"I don't want a counselor," he growled.
"You may not want it Severus, but you need it," Albus replied very firmly.
"No, no counselor Albus, please," Severus, pleaded desperately; hoping Albus would understand what he was trying to say without actually saying it. He wanted to talk to Albus; he wanted to be helped.
"No child, I told you before that is out of the question. I know you don't want this Severus but I want to help you and I am sure this will help. Now let go of my wrist Severus, or do I have to stun you."
Severus couldn't believe this, did he have to spell it out, looks like he was going to have to.
"Severus, let go of my wrist," Albus said soft but firm.
Severus tried pleading without saying something one last time staring into his eyes. Albus' eyes were full of concern.
"Severus," he replied more forcefully.
Severus slowly let go of his wrist.
"I know your scared Severus but it'll be for the better," Albus replied assuring patting his shoulder before walking back to the fireplace.
Severus took a deep breath, he better say it now or forever now he would not be the same again.
"I don't want a counselor, I want you," Severus replied almost in a whisper. He did it, he asked for help. He stared at Albus uncertain, before unable to hold his gaze, instead he fiddled with the end of his robe sleeve
"Severus I told you that it was-"
Severus quickly turned around the way he came running through, what was the point of asking for help if he wasn't going to receive it.
"What?" Albus exclaimed.
He began walking out the room until he heard "Stupefy" Then everything went black.
