A/N- The greatest thing…you'll ever learn…is just to love…and be loved…in return. EEEEEEEEEEEEE! I saw that movie again today. I HAVE IDEAS! BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Oh god. I can't wait for them to get to Treeland. –cackles- I know where this is going…and yes, it is going to have a happy ending. Yes, it is going to get sappy. But what can I say? C'est la vie.

Poor Leggy. He's going to be a right Ewan McGregor now. I don't think there's any more musical songs for a chapter or two though…

HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN TROY!? OMG! SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!! Paris is a pansy that needs to die. A hot pansy that needs to die, but a pansy nonetheless. It was a great movie. A funny movie, but that might have been because I went with a fellow fangirl (HI JAMIE!) and my other friend who was about to fall asleep.

Is anyone willing to help me buy J.R.R. Tolkien's house? We can pool all our money together until we amount to $2,719,238.08 American Dollars (£1.5 mil.)! YAY! Can you imagine though…it'd be kind of creepy. The house all the insanity was born in. Wow.

Disclaimer- I still don't own. –taps foot patiently- I DON'T EVEN OWN RETURN OF THE KING DVD YET! ARGH! …I found out the Mary Sueady I got the "Treeland" from. "Ámalkaëlitueiel A MarySue Parody" by Carcilwen Greenleaf. Very funny, but definitely not for the weak-stomached. Lots of spelling errors, etc., galore, but it's ok in this one because it's a PARODY! OK. I'm done now. CREDIT FOR THE PARTY IDEA IS 100% LARNDESOLEN! Thank you. Have a wonderful day.

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Chapter Five

Sleep had not been my ally that night. Insomnia was though, and anytime I managed to fall asleep, nightmares of OOC Legolas and singing would haunt me. After trying to fall asleep for what felt like hours, I managed to drift off.

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I awoke the next morning quite late for me (I've been known for waking up scarily early) at 9:30AM. No sooner had I swung out of bed, my door was swung upon.

But not by Legolas or anyone I recognized at all.

"Good morning, milady," a servant girl curtsied. She seemed to be about my age…around 15 or 16…and was an Elf (but it was Rivendell after all). Her hair wasn't as long as mine, but it was black and tied up at the top of her head. Her eyes were brown and eyeing me vigilantly.

"Good…morning?" I said, looking at her questionably. A smile broke through her features.

"It is you!" she laughed.

My eyes widened. "Um…WTF?"

"You are the beautiful princess they spoke of! And you are as beautiful as they said! I hardly believed them, so I had to come and see for myself!" she said breathlessly.

I blinked.

"There is a celebration today, Vanimavalië. I'm not sure if you heard, but all members of the Fellowship have reunited in Rivendell…"

"WHY!? WASN'T FRODO SUPPOSED TO GO ACROSS THE SEA WHERE A PALE MOON RISES?! AND SAM WAS SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED AND ARAGORN BECOME KING AND LEGOLAS…well, no one really knew about Legolas, or Gimli too I guess…didn't they go over the sea? I think they did…anyway…MERRY AND PIPPIN…GET MARRIED EVENTUALLY AND BOROMIR WAS STILL DEAD AND GANDALF WENT WITH FRODO! THEY DO NOT STOP THEIR CANON LIVES AND REUNITE FOR PARTIES!" I screamed. Don't mess with the Canon. Just…don't do it.

The servant girl looked petrified. "M-m-milady…I am s-s-sorry…I did not believe you would be so…distraught at this…"

"DISTRAUGHT!?" I screamed. "DISTRAUGHT!?!?" I glared at her. "What's your name?"

"E-Ernilwen, milady…" Ernilwen stuttered. I glared at her.

"Miss Ernilwen, please complete the task you were given and leave. I need some time alone," I said dramatically. She curtsied quickly and ran over to a closet.

"I was told to show you where your wardrobe was," she said quietly, as if I were a bomb prepared to go off at any second. Ernilwen opened the closet quickly and I gasped.

I couldn't help it…dozens of dresses, maybe a hundred dresses, all in different colors. From the brightest white to the darkest black, almost every color known to man was in there. Well, maybe not every color…but a great deal of them.

I've never been a big dress person, or even a shopping person, but I was amazed by this collection. I suppose Ernilwen noticed this, because when I looked at her again, she was smiling.

"Your dresses are in here, and your hair will be done by someone in the morning. That dresser over there contains anything else you might need…extra corsets and such. If you need anything else, just send for me, Princess," she said swiftly. "Someone will return in one hour to prepare you for the party." Ernilwen exited the room hurriedly.

"Fellowships do not reunite for parties…" I muttered under my breath. I had no idea what to do…so I did the only rational thing I could think of…

"AUTHORETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

POOF!

"You rang?" she said, bored.

This tone of voice made me livid. Being bored after you've completely twisted around a work of fiction? The thought of it makes my stomach churn.

"You…you…you completely obliterated…"

She cackled. "I was rather curious to see how you would react. OOCness and messing with plots has always intrigued me. Am I going too overboard?" she said in concern suddenly.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes. Yes. Yes you are."

"Ah. I knew it. He needs to be worse…or maybe he'll be possessed by OOCness like you and your Mary Sue…" she smirked. "Actually, I quite like that. Make him slightly OOC most of the time, then a few times a week or so…BANG! Major OOCness! Weeeeeheeeheee!" she said, zooming around the room, manic. "And there will be singing and dancing and Toulouse might pop in…AND CHRISTIAN! OH MY GOD, WEEEE!"

I stood, terrified. Suddenly, she stopped zooming around, and took a deep breath, sitting down in midair.

"I'm ok now. Sorry about that. I had to drink 3 cans of Diet Mountain Dew to stay awake today. And I guess it's kicking in now," she sighed.

"Why do you have to stay awake?" I asked in interest.

"Well, making persons out of character takes a lot of work you know. Plus, I still have to create Treeland's environment and such. Being an Authorette isn't all fun and games.... Ew, a cliché. Anyway…it's been hectic lately," she yawned.

"Treeland's environment?" I said blankly.

"Bwaha! Yes! I'm kind of modeling it after Far Far Away in Shrek Two…BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW NOW, WOULD YOU!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAA…I mean, not funny," she cackled.

"Look…maybe you should just come back later. You seem extraordinarily…tired…and…well, crazy. I feel much better now," I lied.

"Yeah…point taken. I'll still be watching you and Legolas though. Well, have fun at the party tonight! BWAHAHAHA!"

And with that, she was gone.

I walked over to the closet. "Wow…dresses."

Being one of little mind and much boredom, I decided to leaf through all of them to make my choice. There were 57 dresses crammed into that closet. The hard part would be choosing one…

About fifteen minutes later, I had narrowed it down to a light blue corseted one, and a black and red one that resembled something a Spanish dancer would wear. I consulted several servant girls who came in random times to see if I needed anything, and even a butler or two. All declined to give their opinion, inclining their heads and whispering: "I cannot help you, Princess."

God, being royal sucks.

Finally, deciding I wanted to try to tarnish my perfect, beautiful, innocent, Mary Sue princess personality, I went with the Spanish dancer one. The skirts were black and red, and there was a slit that went up to the mid-thigh. The top, of course, was a corset type. I'm sure in a month or two, I would tire of the corset look, but for now, I couldn't get enough of it. Shoes weren't too extraordinary…just black and lace up…kind of. Ernilwen reentered and showed me where the jewelry was, and I paired the outfit with black dangle earrings. I had no idea what was being done with my hair, as Ernilwen assured me she knew what she was doing. All I knew is that in involved lots of yanking and pulling.

"You are now ready, Princess," she smiled. "And a half hour early too!"

I glanced into the mirror once before I left. I definitely did not look like a typical Mary Sue Princess anymore.

There was a knock at the door. I strode over and opened it.

"Ah, Vanimavalië. You are already prepared?" Legolas said in surprise. I gave him a withering look.

"Yes, Sir Legs-A-Lot, I am already ready. Why are you here anyway?"

"I thought…well, could I escort you to the ball?"

Oh God. Again with the OOC.

"Not until you shape up and act more In Character, buster. And by that, I mean you aren't all sappy. If there is the slightest sap tonight, I will kill you with a spork, burn your body, and spit on the ashes. Do I make myself clear?" I snapped.

His eyes widened: "O.O…"

"I SAID, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"

"Er…yes. Of course."

"Good. Now…GET OUT!"

I slammed the door in his face. Part of me felt bad for treating him this way, but the other part reminded me that he was, of course, Out of Character, therefore did not feel the way he should. This slightly recompensed my guilt.

When I heard the Elf walk away, irritated, I left the room and followed the noise of a party down the hall. Elves were walking, arm in arm, into the Hall. I suddenly regretted being so evil to Legolas. I felt like an idiot, entering the par-tay with no one there…

I reached the door, and the doorman looked at me, his eyes wide. "You are late," the other doorman mused.

"I know I'm late, and please excuse me. May I still enter the celebration?" I said, trying to impersonate a Mary Sue. Where the heck was she when I needed her?!

Doorman #1 spoke: "Of course not, princess. In fact…we were waiting for you."

The music cued up, and Doorman #2 climbed up onto a high ledge. "EVERYONE, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THE ARRIVAL OF A VERY IMPORTANT GUEST!" he bellowed.

Every eye turned to the door. Thank God for darkness…that's all I have to say.

"Please welcome…the beautiful escapee, the Princess of Treeland herself… Princess Vanimavalië Lúinwë!"

Doorman #1 pushed me out into the light. I glared at him, but astoundingly did not fall. Every eye was on me once again. So I did the only rational thing I could think of…

I smiled, and curtseyed. Applause thundered throughout the hall, and I descended down the stairs.

"May the celebrations begin!"

I found a table in the corner, and sat, hoping my presence would go unnoticed. But you see, the thing about Mary Sues is that they don't go overlooked…they have to always be the center of attention. But for then, I was safe.

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A/N- Ick, I don't like this chapter much. The only thing I can say to you is that it is going to get better. I promise. Longer chapters will follow also.

I have one thing to say:

"Shrek and I drank this potion stuff, and now…we're sexy!"

God, I am amused too easily. But that was a good movie too. Go see it!

Iorhael-nin- Bwaha! It probably will end up not prevailing though. I don't know…it'll probably depend on how you look at it. So many stories…I know what you mean. I have two up here (well…I guess you could say three), but then I've got another dozen I'm writing and not posting. Yeah…updating will be postponed for a while, I suppose. Sad, but there's two months ahead where some writing time can be used! Huzzah! Go update! Now! Lol…seriously, take your time. SIRIUS! AHAHAHA! (Recently Won Over Oldman fans UNITE)

karmabelle- I LOVE SHOW TUNES! Is it that obvious? I am a musical freak…yup, that's me. I listened to Legolas's show tune some today and started cracking up. I must agree, the RotK soundtrack does r0x0r. I'm listening to it right now! Wootness! I love Pippin. Still.

LegolasLover/LOTRchick- BWAHA! NO, Legolas, you may not kill your Mary Sue. You dedicated Moulin Rouge songs to her, after all, didn't you? Musical outbursts ROCK! I love scaring people, or just confusing them. Poor Legolas. He's so misunderstood. =P

Cosmos Senshi- Commencing. Lol, thanks for your review! No internet…god, that sucks. But I'm going to try to become less dependent on it this summer. I'm becoming borderline crazy. NEXT CHAPTER UP!

LarndeSolen- Yay! Thank you! Bwaha! I have too much fun torturing my characters. And I really want Gandalf to do a Theoden-sort of exorcism. Ooh! Idea! I love the Legolas Puppet …it would annoy Non Mary Sues, delight fangirls, and amuse the easily amused! What's not to love?!

Aisling Niamh- Oh…you never know. Legolas might be one of those secret singers…and he might just come out of the closet sometime. Like in this parody. Anyhow, thanks for the review! SLAINTE! ISN'T THAT IRISH!?

THE GREAT AND ALMIGHTY STEFOLA!!!!- BWAHA! Aww…I still like Tahlia though. Her raw sarcasm and love for other's pain amuses me to no end. Kaya's cool too though…OMG HARRY POTTER PARODY! I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO START! XD

Harry Potter's Crazed Stalker- No problem! Finals need to DIE! MOULIN ROUGE IS THE BEST MUSICAL (maybe even movie) OF ALL TIME! Just think about it…wouldn't all movies be better if they had musical songs? No. But to me they would. But I'm the musical fanatic. I LOVE HOBBITS! And so do all the other fangirls. So you don't have anything to worry about. I still have no RotK. That sucks. But I shall survive. And write Mary Sueadies.

Will'sLittlePirate/POTCchick- Sure for the parody! Just email me …or IM me (both are in my bio)…but it still might be just a little delayed. But maybe not, I dunno, you never really know. It doesn't even have to be under my name, I'm not really partial. OB Files is freaking funny! Thank you so much for that site! Legolas…you are going to die or suffer the combined wrath of the Authorette AND Mary Sues AND Danny! Feminism is just one line you do not cross. AND YOU CROSSED IT! –glare- Bwaha, anyway, email/IM me about the parody!

Divinething- MR fans UNITE! GOD I LOVE THAT MOVIE! AND CHRISTIAN! –lovelovelove- Yeah…I really like that movie. There's going to be many songs and imbedded subliminals in this parody from MR. Bwaha. School ended for us almost a week ago (May 25th…the same day as Ian McKellen's birthday! The uncanniness!). Good luck with your move! I've moved…twice in my life. Yup. I am so glad. RIP Asterisks…I had to resort to "-"s and that depresses me. Thanks for the luck! Still awaiting results…eep!

BTW, any love songs you'd like to see featured in this fic, send them in! I need suggestions for a…medley of sorts approaching in about 5 chapters…BWAHA! Moulin Rouge seers will understand that. No one else will, sadly enough. Send your requests/suggestions in.

Have a great Memorial Day!