Chapter 15 – Comfort
Saturday Morning, May 29, 2004

Before opening her eyes, Samantha inhaled a musky smell. "Mmmm," she thought, this is a good dream. Slowly she opened her eyes and stared at the cotton shirt that clung to the body lying next to her. "A very realistic dream." She was about to close her eyes to recapture every detail when curiosity got the better of her, she decided to see who she had been dreaming about. She raised her head and saw Martin sleeping peacefully. His normally clean shaven face was scruffy and his hair was tousled. She smiled unconsciously and snuggled closer to his warm body eager to continue the dream.

Martin didn't know why he had woken up, but he quickly remembered where he was. He gazed down at Samantha, whose head lay upon his chest. His heart skipped a beat being this close to her. He pulled his arms around her tightly and willed that the moment would never end.

Samantha felt arms wrap around her and for the first time thought that perhaps this wasn't a dream. She opened her eyes and again and looked up at Martin. His eyes were open now and stared into hers. "Good morning," he said.

"Good morning," Samantha replied, confused as to why Martin was actually in her bed. She tried to shake the sleep from her head and recall last night, had she, had they? But it all came back to her, the nightmare and calling Martin. Now that she was reminded she couldn't believe how she had been able to forget.

Martin tried to figure out what Samantha was thinking, but failed. "I hope you don't mind, I mean mind me being in your bed this morning. I just didn't want to wake you once you finally fell asleep." He paused, then made a move to get up, "Oh, but I guess you're awake now so I can…"

Samantha stopped him from finishing, "No, please stay, I'm glad you were here. I even forgot all about yesterday for a few minutes. But now that I remember I've got to ask, how did you get here so quickly when I called you? It was three in the morning and you live an hour away."

Martin looked down, embarrassed to answer. It was a great plan, waiting downstairs so he could be here if she needed him, but how could he tell her without sounding like a love-struck fool? "Well," he began, "I was, when you called that is, I was … in the lobby."

"You were where? In my lobby? What were you doing there?" Samantha asked.

As Martin fumbled for a plausible reason for his stalker-like actions, Samantha tried to comprehend that Martin had watched out for her all night in her uncomfortable and drafty lobby. She looked at him, saw him struggling for words, and decided that she didn't need him to give her a reason. "Oh, I didn't think it was important last night why you were here so quickly, I was just glad that you were. So I guess it doesn't matter today. Just, thank you, thank you for coming."

Martin convinced Samantha that he wasn't going to leave her today and that he was prepared to spend the entire weekend making sure she rested and didn't overexert herself. Outwardly, Samantha put up a short-lived resistance, but was grateful that she wouldn't have to be alone. Throughout the day, Martin made breakfast and lunch and the two talked and laughed. After lunch, Martin insisted that Samantha take a nap and she complied.

Hours later Samantha woke up, surprised that she had slept so long. She remembered that Martin was in the other room and expected him to be bored and restless. After all, she'd kept him cooped up in this apartment all day long. She crept out of bed to see what Martin was doing, expecting him to be scanning the television channels or pacing the floor looking at his watch. However, she was pleasantly surprised when she saw Martin contentedly reading a book; he didn't look like he had anywhere else to be.

Later that night as Martin and Samantha were criticizing some reality show, the front door intercom buzzed. Martin immediately moved to answer it and Samantha realized how easy it was to have Martin in her life right now. "Who's there?" Martin asked. There was a pause and Martin repeated, "Who is this?"

Then from the other end was Jack's voice, "It's Jack. Can I come up?"

Martin glanced over at Samantha, trying to get a 'yeah' or 'nay' from her while he spoke, "Oh hey Jack, it's me Martin." Samantha had nodded her head slightly assenting that it was OK to let Jack up so he continued, "Come on up."

Samantha looked at Martin and felt that she owed him an apology, but she didn't know why. "Martin, Jack is a friend, he just wants to make sure I'm OK."

"Samantha, you don't have to justify your relationship with Jack to me. Remember we're just friends, right?" Martin wished she would respond to his rhetorical question, but didn't give her a chance. He marched toward the kitchen, "I'll start making dinner." Before he passed into the kitchen he turned around, "Unless you want me to leave?" He decided that he wouldn't let her not answer that question and kept his stare on her until she answered.

"No, Martin, I don't want you to leave. It's been a hard week and I need as much support from my friends that I can get." Samantha still didn't know what to do about Jack so she thought that promoting friendship all around would be the best strategy.

When the bell rang, Martin called out, "I'll let you get that."

So Samantha eased herself from the couch and answered the door. She saw Jack carrying two bags of groceries. "Jack, hey, it's good to see you. Come on in."

"Samantha, I brought some food for dinner, I thought I could make you my specialty," Jack said as he walked through the door.

"Oh, that's very nice of you, but Martin just started dinner. Perhaps it's not too late to change what he's making." Samantha tried smooth over the awkwardness of both Martin and Jack being there.

Jack intoned, "Well, I only brought enough for two, I didn't know that Martin would be here."

Samantha could feel the tension mounting, she had to talk to Jack, alone. He was reading too much into Martin being there. "Hey, let me take these bags into the kitchen. We need to talk. Take off your coat, I'll be there in a sec."

Samantha took the bags into the kitchen and set them on the counter. Of course Martin had heard Jack's comments about dinner and Martin did not look happy. He had lost some of his resolve to stick around and looked at Samantha and simply stated, "If it will make you happy, I can leave, it's not a big deal." But to Samantha, it looked like it meant a great deal to Martin.

"No, I need to talk to Jack anyway. Please, just stop what your making for now and we'll see what happens after our talk. You can read or watch television in the living room." Samantha pleaded with Martin, trying to make him feel welcomed, but knowing that he felt defeated. She got a nod from Martin and she headed back into the living room to take care of Jack.

She gestured for Jack to follow her into the bedroom for privacy. "Look Jack, there's no reason for you to be jealous that Martin is here. I asked him to come, he's been great to make sure I get my rest."

Jack retorted, "I would have come if you'd have asked, I should be the one here for you now."

"Jack, no, no you shouldn't be the one here for me now." After making that statement, Samantha realized how true it was. "I don't know where we stand and just having you here puts pressure on me to define our relationship." Samantha tried to get Jack to understand her point of view. "With Martin I know the boundaries of our relationship, we're friends, there's nothing from the past to cloud that." Although she said the words she knew that she wasn't being completely truthful. She wasn't sure of the boundaries between her and Martin, but at least she didn't feel pressured by him right now. "Like I said last night, I understand that you want to be here for me, but it's best if you aren't physically here. I will call on you if I need to. I know it hurts to hear, but right now you are preventing me from getting past these last couple of days and I need you to leave."

Jack heard the words and was stunned. He was being completely shut out of her life and that is exactly the opposite of what he wanted. He began to put up a fight, "Just let me stay for dinner, I just want to make sure you are fine."

Samantha interjected, "Jack, if you want what is best for me you will leave. I don't have anything against you, it's just the situation." Samantha pleaded with Jack, "Please, don't make this any harder than it already is."

Finally, Jack conceded, he turned from Samantha and headed out of the bedroom. He passed Martin who was sitting on the couch, "Martin, I can't stay for dinner, but please feel free to eat up, don't want it to go to waste."

Samantha followed him to the door. Jack turned to her, but did not try to kiss her this time. Instead he whispered, "Call me when I'm not a nuisance in your life."

"Jack, please, don't do this. You're not a nuisance, it's just, I just can't handle all of this right now. I'll call you when I'm ready, more ready, to deal with us, okay?" Samantha's eyes searched Jack's face, begging for him not to hate her.

Jack waited and then affirmed, "I'm OK. I just want to help you, but if this is the best way to help, I guess I can stay away, but only if you don't shut me out forever. Promise?"

"I promise," Samantha vowed. "Later."

"Take care," Jack murmured as he let her shut the door behind him.

Samantha turned around and looked at Martin, "Sorry for that." She tried to think of an explanation to go with the apology, but no plausible ones came to mind so she dropped it. Martin had raised his head from his book, he'd heard everything that was said. Despite looking engrossed in his reading he'd been readily eavesdropping. Samantha had confirmed that she was thinking of starting a romantic relationship with Jack again and that she and Martin were only friends. He was disappointed although he'd made references to her that they were just friends, he'd hoped that she had not believed him.

Martin got up from the couch and finished with dinner. The two ate in relative silence and then Martin made up the couch. He planned to sleep over tonight and Samantha put up little resistance as she was not too eager to be alone.

TBC