Chapter Two – For My Own Good

Dr Bell sat behind her desk and drummed her fingers on its surface as she peered at me through the top of her wire-framed glasses.

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess," I replied.

"Good … now, you have been here for almost a month now, and yet I see no progress."

"And …" I said.

"Well," she said, "don't you think it's about time that we saw some development?"

"I dunno, you tell me."

"Mr. Potter -."

"Sorry," I said insincerely.

Dr Bell readjusted her glasses and cleared her throat audibly. "Okay, I wanted to begin this session by talking about your friends and family."

"What do you want to know?" I asked in a low voice. I wasn't keen on participating in this session, just like every other time.

"Just tell me a little about them."

"Why?"

"It is part of the developmental process," Dr Bell replied briskly.

"That's your answer to everything," I said monotonously.

"Well, it's the truth."

"I don't see it that way."

"Why are you making this difficult?" Dr Bell reprimanded me. "I'm asking you to perform a simple task and yet you refuse to do it."

"Fine! You want to here about my family? Voldemort killed them so instead Dumbledore sent me to two people who are useless excuses for human beings, if I ever saw any. They screwed me over. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Mr Potter," Dr Bell sighed. "I'd appreciate it if you co-operated with me. I'm here to help you develop mentally."

"You're here because it's a job," I said.

"You know that's not what I am here for?" Dr Bell said. "This is ridiculous! You've been in Silverwater for a month and all I know about you is that you're Harry Potter, who defeated You Know Who."

"And that's all you'll ever know."

"The longer you be uncooperative the longer you will stay here at Silverwater."

"You wouldn't," I said as my eyes narrowed into slits.

"Try me," she shot back in a stern voice.

"Technically, I'm a volunteer patient, despite the fact that I sure as hell don't feel like one," I challenged her. "I can leave any time within reason"

"You may leave when your time is up and if I say you are fit to go," Dr Bell said.

I didn't say anything after this, as there wasn't anything else to say. She had the last word and I knew it. Instead I sat back, folded my arms across my chest and blew a tuft of hair out of my eyes.

Dr Bell wrenched her bottom drawer open and rummaged through its contents. Finally, she fished out a few cards. She was going to do the ink blot test.

"Have you heard of the Inkblot test?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied. Good god! Did she think I was stupid?

"Good. Now, tell me what you see." She held up one card in front of my face. Predictably, the card had two huge inkblots sprawled on it.

"Inkblots," I replied sarcastically.

Dr Bell's eyebrows furrowed in the middle, which gave her otherwise youthful appearance some ancient elasticity.

"Do you know the purpose of this test?" she asked.

"It's an examination of my perspective," I replied.

"Yes," said Dr Bell. "Now, do it properly. What do you see?"

"Inkblots," I repeated.

"As far as I know you are supposed to form a picture out of these inkblots."

"That wouldn't be what I see – that would be what I THINK I see."

"Alright, tell me what you THINK you see?"

"I think I see inkblots made possibly by a person or printed using a Muggle printer," I replied. "However, I do think that they were done manually considering that the magical population are not really familiar with Muggle technology. Well, at least that's what I THINK I see."

"Mr Potter, this is not helping me, nor is it helping you!"

"Do you want to know what I think?" I asked.

"What?"

"I shouldn't be here," I replied. "I should be at home in MY bed. Not THIS place!"

"You know as well as I do that being here is for you own good," said Dr Bell calmly. "If you really wanted my professional opinion on this, throughout your life you were depressed. I know that it may have been by default, due to the many losses in your life. However, you're the type that tends to bottle most feelings and emotions. Even when it doesn't seem that way, you're not letting all emotions stray lose. There are some hidden within cavities of your mind. Now, do you believe me when I say that being here is for your own good?"

The thing I hated about her was that she spoke as long-windedly as Percy Weasley.

"No!" I cried. "Allow me to correct you if I may. Remus Lupin, Ron and Hermione and you believe that being here is for my own good. I don't think it's for my own good. As a matter of fact, the longer I stay here the crazier I become. Do you see the irony?" My rant gained momentum with every word. It was like I was a preacher delivering his sermon.

"Mr Potter, I advise that you be quiet. We are wasting valuable time here."

"I'm wasting time being here in the first place," I muttered angrily.

"Being in one-to-one therapy?" Dr Bell asked.

"Being in Silverwater," I said.

"Mr Potter, if you keep doing this to yourself, you'll end up a psychological mess."

"You know," I said as I got up. "For a magical psychiatrist, you're really dreadful." And with that, I left her office and made my way down to the Joseph Heller common room.

Don't get me wrong, Dr Bell was a relatively nice person. She was young (only thirty one at the time) and could relate to the adolescents better than the other psychiatrists at Silverwater. However, there was something about her that I didn't like. Perhaps it was her superior manner. Perhaps it was her 'I think I know everything about you' attitude. Perhaps it was the mere fact that she was my psychiatrist. Then again, perhaps it was my arrogance and my state of denial.

When I entered the Common Room, I was greeted by rather rambunctious yells … emitted by one person.

"What's up?" Vasco cried as he clapped me on the back. He did this so hard that my knees almost buckled under the pressure. Ferdinand 'Vasco' Vasconcelos was well built like Viktor Krum, albeit bigger and black, so I wasn't surprised when he knocked me over when he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"How was the appointment with Dr Bell?" he boomed.

"Rotten, as usual," I replied as I swiped and apple from a nearby fruit bowl and held it in my hand. As I raised it to my mouth to take a bite, I heard a yell from my left. Jai Nagy came charging from the dining room towards me with a hand outstretched in front of him.

"Don't!" he yelled. He swiped the apple from my hands.

"Why did you do that for?" I cried.

"Do you know how many micro-organisms reside in this apple alone?" he asked, pointing at the apple.

"Jai," I said slowly, "there is nothing wrong with that apple."

"I just saved your life," Jai said. "Those micro-organisms could have killed you."

Vasco rolled his eyes towards the ceiling exasperatedly. "Jai, there are micro-organisms EVERYWHERE!"

"No there isn't!" Jai protested. "How come I'm not dead?"

"Because," Vasco began dryly, "those micro-organisms are harmless you dolt!"

"Yeah, but they'll kill you slowly," said Jai.

"Everyone dies in the end!"

"Not if I can help it!"

"Will you two SHUT UP?"

Regan Zabini slammed her copy of The Iliad on the floor and emerged from her little corner of the room. "Stop your bickering!" she exclaimed. "You're giving me a migraine."

"Hey Regan," I said quietly.

Regan turned to me and her face brightened considerably. "Hey Harry," she chirped as she gave me a hug. "How was your session with Dr Bell?"

"Rotten," I repeated for her.

Regan smiled and nodded her head in assent, "Yeah, it does get like that, doesn't it?"

"How come you're nice to him?" Vasco cried.

"Because he's nice to me in return," Regan answered, glaring at him. "Which I cannot say for SOME people here."

"It's not my fault you're a bitch on wheels," said Vasco as he stalked away. "Anyway, see ya Harry."

"Yeah, bye," I said tiredly as I plonked myself down on the couch and grabbed a copy of an outdated version of The Quibbler. Vasco walked away and headed towards the kitchen for something to eat. Jai, on the other hand, threw my apple away and wiped his hands on his trousers, while Regan returned to her copy of The Iliad.

If there was something I liked about Silverwater, it would have to be my fellow inmates in the Joseph Heller ward. I particularly got along well with Regan, who was Blaise Zabini's cousin and was meant to be in Ginny's year at Hogwarts. She was nice, despite being Sorted into Slytherin. I also got along well with Vasco, who was a Ravenclaw in Cho's year and was admitted to Silverwater due to his tendency to 'cut'. According to my observation, he seemed like the happiest person on earth. However, when I was admitted to Silverwater, he was already a patient for six weeks.

I suddenly decided to give up on the article about another Crumple-Horned Snorcack sighting. I sighed, threw the magazine on the table and walked to my room.

When I arrived I saw Ginny standing in the middle of the room, looking timid and scared.

**********************************************************

Please review

Next Chapter: Seeing Double

A/N: Jai Nagy is pronounced 'Jy Naji'.