Alright then, I had an issue with this chapter. All this HTML language just popped up and I re-uploaded it with closed HTML tags but it's still the same! I don't know what the fork is happening so here is my third attempt. I hope it all goes well this time *crosses fingers*
As usual, thanks for the reviews.
Chapter Eleven – Liv's Dilemma
It was Harry Potter's seventh year at Hogwarts. The year had just started and already he wished that the surface of the earth would open up and engulf him whole. The first week had been hell. Not only did the teachers pile up the homework and assignments but the second War was at its height. People were dying left right and centre.
Personally, Harry didn't know why Voldemort was the subject of much fear amongst the entire Wizard population in Britain. To him, Voldemort was merely a wizard. He was just Tom Riddle, the handsome slytherin Head Boy who achieved who was an over-achiever when he was studying at Hogwarts. His ambition to take over the whole world (Wizard and Muggle) was pathetic. The only thing that Harry was worried about was that he liked to kill people and had an extraordinary amount of supporters. Perhaps he didn't need to ponder why Voldemort was the subject of much fear.
Harry sat silently in one corner of the library, buried under a pile of textbooks with a lamp propped on his table. The library had shut for the night but he managed to sneak in stealthily armed with his Invisibility Cloak It looked as though he pulled every single book off the bookshelves and brought them over to his table. The books towered over him and it looked as though they threatened to topple onto his head. It was already past midnight and yet Harry refused to go to bed. He was horribly reminded of Hermione's study habits during his third year.
Harry groaned at the thought of waking up the next morning with a throbbing headache from too much studying. He didn't want to be muttering the properties of the Inoculating Potion in his sleep either.
He couldn't concentrate on the matter at hand. He was supposed to be working on an assignment for Potions that was 'specially crafted' for him by Professor Snape because he failed yet again to produce something that would qualify as drinkable. Instead, the prophecy that Professor Trelawney made shortly before his birth played over and over again in the recesses of Harry's mind that night. "I'm the only one that can kill Voldemort," he said out loud to himself. "I'm going to have to do it soon. The longer I do it, the more Voldemort would become powerful and the more people would die. The fate of the world is entrusted upon me."
"Harry?" a tired, female voice called from his right. "Why are you still up?"
Harry craned his neck behind him nd was greeted by the sight of Ginny, dressed in her nightgown and slippers. To Harry, she looked like Aphrodite incarnate against the dim light emitted from the lamp. She yawned and stretched her arms before speaking again, "Why aren't you in bed?"
"How did you get in here without anyone seeing you?" Harry asked. Why was she here in the first place?
Ginny yawned once again and replied, "I am the little sister of the infamous Weasley twins. Anything is possible for me."
Harry laughed quietly before pulling a whole pile of books towards himself. "Sit down," he said.
Ginny smiled and sat down next to him. "Don't tell me you've left it at the last minute again," she scoffed. "Seriously, Harry. You're in seventh year now and you need to learn how to organise yourself."
"Okay Hermione," said Harry, trying to restrain a laugh. "What have you done with Ginny? Get out of her body now before you do something drastic."
Ginny laughed heartedly before playfully smacking me across the shoulder. "You're going to have to stop," she giggled. "Or else you won't wake up in time for your first class tomorrow."
"I wouldn't mind so much," Harry replied. "I'm already far behind as it is."
"Harry," Ginny giggled. "It's only a week into the new term."
"Well … why are you here?" said Harry, changing the subject.
Ginny exhaled loudly and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know," she replied. "I've been feeling a little sick again – I seriously don't know what it is! It's like somebody's refusing to let me get better! But why am I complaining?" She shifted in her seat and patted Harry on the arm, "What you're going through is much worse, what with the prophecy and all …"
By then the prophecy was common knowledge amongst their group of friends and sooner or later it was to be known by the whole British Wizard Community.
"It just depends on how you look at it," said Harry morosely. "If you were suicidal and wanted Voldemort to kill you, then you'd love where I am now. If you were maniacally homicidal, then you'd jump at the chance to kill the most evil wizard in the world."
Ginny sighed once again, kissed Harry's cheek and propped her head onto his shoulder. "Try not to think about it now," she said softly. "I love you, don't forget that."
"Yeah," said Harry. "Me too."
****************************************************************
I woke up the next morning and found two things: Liv was nowhere to be found and my pillow was soaked with what I assumed to be a mixture of tears and sweat. In regards to Liv, I guessed that she had risen early, for it was already eleven o'clock in the morning. In regards to my dream, I couldn't help but be angry. I hated having dreams about Ginny (they were frequent during my stay at Silverwater). It was just another painful reminder that I still held scars from the previous months. I made a mental note as to talk to somebody about them later.
When I opened my bleary eyes, the light from the sun blinded me. I was blinded by the light, like a vampire would have been. I rolled over in my bed and found a small memo perched up on top of my bedside table.
I groaned noticeably and reached for it. Fumbling with my glasses before placing them on my face, I read:
Mr Potter,
You are required to attend a session with me outside your usual scheduled appointment at noon today. Please be on time. I have a couple of things I want to discuss with you.
Dr Bell
I groaned once again and threw the little memo aside. I was sure that I wouldn't forget about the appointment today. If I did forget then it didn't really matter. I hated counselling sessions with her. I wish we had a different psychiatrist. I heard that Dr Davis was really nice.
By eleven thirty I was sitting at the dining table with my fellow inmates eating a late breakfast. I thought I was doomed to an uneventful morning until somebody's soft, feminine hands enveloped over my glasses, concealing my view.
"Guess who?" she whispered into my ear.
Believing it was Liv I said, "The same girl that stood me up this morning?"
"I knew it!" she cried. "It was about time too! Little Harry Potter is growing up!"
Regan unfurled her hands from my eyes and sat beside me. "Why do you look so stunned?"
I immediately snapped out of my reverie and dug into my cereal with great haste. "I'm not!" I protested through a mouthful of food.
"How was it?" Regan asked.
"What?" I asked.
Regan assumed that I knew what she was talking about but I didn't have a clue. Finally, she said, "You know! How was it?"
"Would I tell you?" I asked.
"Yes," Regan replied. "Tell me EVERY single detail."
"What if I don't want to?" I said cheekily.
"You HAVE to tell me."
"She's great in between the sheets."
"Really?" Regan cried. Her eyes were as wide as galleons. "I never would have thought, coming from a girl like her. I would have thought she was shy and timid."
"Regan," I laughed. "I was kidding."
I saw her face fall in disappointment. "I thought you finally did it," she said disappointedly.
"Are you waiting for me to sleep with somebody?" I cried out exasperatedly.
"Well," said Regan, "you're eighteen years old and you're still a virgin! How does that come about?"
"I'm not the last virgin on earth, you know," I said to her. "I don't HAVE to sleep with somebody."
"Just once," Regan said, smiling. "Just do it once!"
"Can we not talk about this anymore?" I asked, as I felt the conversation was getting ridiculous.
"Alright," Regan sighed. "Anyway, the girl that stood you up asked me to pass you a message. She told me to tell you to meet her by the makeshift pond today. She says she wants to tell you something. I bet I know what it is!" Regan winked roguishly and nudged my ribs with her elbow repeatedly. Though they hated each other, Regan and Vasco were alike in every way possible.
"Why couldn't she just tell me herself?" I asked.
"You know how she is," Regan replied. "I am merely a messenger."
"Thankyou for relaying the message," I said. "Well, if what you say is true, I must get going."
"Go get her, tiger," Regan purred seductively, complete with claw actions and eyelash batting. I gave her a contemptuous look, to which she cowered under.
"Just go!" she demanded. "You don't want to keep her waiting."
I would have sworn that when I made to step out towards Silverwater gardens I heard Regan mutter under her breath, "Goodness, what is he on?" However, I chose not to retaliate. Not only was it deemed inappropriate but my brain wasn't capable to conjure up a sarcastic retort this early in the day.
When I stepped into the sunshine I immediately scanned the gardens in search for Liv. My travelling eyes landed on a red-haired girl sitting cross-legged by the pond, destroying a nearby flower by stripping its petals. At that precise moment she reminded me of Ginny so much that it actually tore me up inside.
Liv spotted me and gave me a heart-warming smile. "I gather you got the message," she said.
"I didn't know why you couldn't just tell me yourself?" I asked as I walked towards her and sat next to her on the grass. "But that doesn't matter. Why did you call for me?"
"I just wanted to say thankyou for giving me company last night," said Liv.
I paused for a minute. "That's it?" I asked.
"Well, yeah …" said Liv bashfully. "And I was kind of hoping if you'd … you know listen to what I have to say."
The request was not in any way peculiar but the way she suggested it was. She was akin to a fragile little china doll with her endearing and sweet manner. She reminded me of a certain girl when she was ten years old.
"Okay," I finally replied. "I guess I could do that for you. Uh, what do you want to say?" I finished lamely.
"I wanted to get something off my chest," said Liv. "I wondered if we could just sit around and … talk?"
"Don't you think we've worn that out by now?" I asked. "I already know all there is to know about you. We've talked ourselves out."
"I don't think we have," said Liv. "After all, I haven't revealed all about myself."
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
"I have to be honest with you," she said quietly. "I … uh … something happened as of late and." I could see she was sweating a little bit. She was nervous.
"What's the matter?"
"Uh, nothing," said Liv nervously. "Uh, I just wanted to say."
She couldn't get the words out of her mouth. Instead, she made gestures with her mouth like a fish out of water.
"What is it with you?" I cried.
Finally, Liv gave into her constant stammering and threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "I have to go." She sprung to her feet and left. The entire event glossed over like a blur.
I ran up to her and caught up with her nimble speed. I grabbed her around the shoulders. "What's up with you?"
"I have to go!" she exclaimed in a panicked voice. "Regan's wrong! I can't do this!"
"Do what?" I cried exasperatedly. Until today, Liv was able to talk to me freely. What was different about that time? Have things changed?
Liv didn't respond. Instead, she hiccupped and disappeared without a trace.
I couldn't help but be completely and utterly bamboozled by the whole ordeal. First she summoned me from breakfast for a chat and yet she ran away without as much as saying a word. I knew better than to assume that she was in utter peril. If she were, she may have gone to Dr Bell. What was I supposed to do?
I blearily rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, dug my hands into my pockets and marched solemnly towards the main building. I groaned as my headache throbbed rather violently against my temples and across the front of my face. This was a consequence of lack of sleep for I had spent the majority of the night seething through my teeth. It was all because of Malfoy.
When I did manage to get to sleep, I dreamt about Ginny. The way I constantly dwelled on Ginny, my parents and Sirius was hopeless and I knew that within the depths of my heart. Liv's presence did not help the grieving process.
I really hated counselling sessions with Dr Bell. They were similar to Professor Snape's Occulumency lessons back in my fifth year. Dr Bell prodded and poked at my brain and my state of insanity by firing questions at me, which required me to re-open my wounds so she could rub salt on them. I couldn't help but predict that she would want me to talk more about my loved ones today, rather than perform the cryptic mind games which would enable to subconsciously get in touch with my inner anger. It was either that or she would give me a good tongue lashing about last night.
Ten slow minutes later I approached the doorframe of her office and leaned casually against it, feigning ultimate confidence. I was early, which was a surprise on her behalf.
"I've arrived," I said.
"I've noticed," said Dr Bell coolly. She then inclined her head towards the recliner, thus indicating to me to take a seat. So I did.
"Now," she cleared her throat and resumed, "today we're going to take it a step further and jump into the deep end."
What did I tell you? She was going to go for the nose five and force me to talk about my loved ones without beating around the bush.
"I want you to talk about your relationship with Olivia Hunter."
Now THAT got my attention.
"Uh, excuse me?"
"Olivia Hunter," Dr Bell repeated. "I've noticed lately that the two of you have become relatively close."
"I don't know about that," I said sardonically. "She seemed reluctant to tell me something earlier on."
Dr Bell raised her eyebrows to her hairline and scribbled hastily on her piece of parchment. I noticed that she didn't use the Quick Quotes spell this time and I wondered why.
"I couldn't help but think that Olivia looks a lot like Ginny Weasley," she continued grimly.
"So?" I asked.
"So," said Dr Bell, placing an emphasis on the word, "I couldn't help but make an observation."
"And what may that observation be?" I wisecracked.
"That the mere presence of Miss Hunter ultimately halts your process of recovery to mental health," Dr Bell replied.
I paused for a moment and inhaled deeply. The air I breathed was glazed with the think tension that hovered between the two of us. She was a fool for treading on dangerous ground, for she was making assumptions about which were definitely not true. I was not obsessed with Liv, despite what she thought.
"What are you getting at?" I asked her.
"Do you think that this has something to do with your grieving for Ginny?"
"No," I snapped immediately. "I don't know what you're playing at here."
"I think I do," Dr Bell said. "You're reluctant to let go of the past."
"That doesn't make me crazy," I said snappishly.
"I never said you were crazy," said Dr Bell soothingly.
My eyes widened in bewilderment as a shot up straight in my chair. I couldn't believe my ears. Did she just say that she never said that I was crazy?
"Isn't this a mental institution?" I asked nastily.
"This is a mental correctional facility asylum," Dr Bell corrected me.
"Isn't this the place where all the crazy people go?" I said.
"This is a place where volunteer patients seek refuge in order to recover from a mental breakdown or to correct mental disorders."
"This is a mental institution then," I cried. We were getting off topic but I didn't care. I couldn't believe that this woman was being hypocritical.
Dr Bell sighed out of frustration and leaned back in her chair. "Mr Potter, I would like to discuss something with you and then you will be free to do whatever you want for the rest of the day. Do you mind co-operating with me today?"
"Fine," I replied. "Do whatever it is you have to do."
"I want you to tell me about your time with Ginny," Dr Bell demanded.
"I don't know if I want to," I told her.
"I think you should."
"Why?"
"What was it that you liked about her?" Dr Bell asked, brushing aside my question.
"I already told you, I don't want to."
"Mr Potter-."
"I. Don't. Want. To."
"Does Liv remind you of Ginny at all?"
I knew she was going to do this. She was going to twist my words around and use it against me. She was going to say that my friendship with Liv was nothing but a maniacal obsession in order to live the days when I was happy again. The reason why I usually never participated co-operatively with her in therapy sessions was because I refused to give her ammunition to destroy me. Dr Bell may have called it 'helping me recover' but she was just going to humiliate me.
"No," I finally replied. "Liv is much different to Ginny. She may look like her physically but in reality they are two worlds apart. No, they're really different."
For the first time since my stay at Silverwater, it looked as though I stumped Dr Bell. She paused in mid-action for a few moments before she cocked her head to one side contemplatively. "That's interesting," she said.
"It's the truth," I told her.
A heavy silence hovered between the two of us, before Dr Bell shattered it, asking if I wanted to proceed."
"There's nothing more I want to say," I told her, "unless you can think of some other way to analyse my brain. You know," a new thought had just occurred to me. "Why do we have to bother with all this? Couldn't you just perform Legilimency on me or something?"
"I am not a Legilimens," Dr Bell replied. "Also, I don't think it is an appropriate way of doing things around here."
"Fair enough," I replied. "Are we done? Can I leave?"
"I want to say one more thing," she said, placing her hand up in front of her to stop me. "I have been observing your reluctance to let go and move on rather intensively. It's rather frustrating when you think about it. The loss of some of your friends – like Cedric Diggory, your godfather and your girlfriend really has destroyed you -."
"No they didn't!" I protested
"From what I can see," she continued, "you denied the fact that Ginny died initially. You refused to believe it because you had so many losses in life already. Therefore, you didn't grieve properly."
I glared at her but in my mind and heart I knew that she was right. She was a psychiatrist after all. Dr Bell saw me glare at her so she reprimanded me almost instantly.
"I don't know what it is with you," she sighed. "I am here trying to help you recover and resume a normal life-."
"I'll never have a normal life," I remarked. "I'm Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, remember?"
"Well," said Dr Bell, "as normal as humanly possible then."
"Yeah, right," I said unpleasantly.
"Mr Potter!"
"I'm leaving," I announced and then I got up from the recliner and headed for the door.
"You are NOT pulling that same stunt on me!" Dr Bell snapped. "I demand that you sit back down this instant!"
I obeyed reluctantly, without a fight.
"Right … we are going to finish this session whether you like it or not. I'm not done yet!"
"We've almost finished," I cried exasperatedly. "You asked a question and I answered. What more do you want."
"I just said to you that I wasn't finished," she said angrily through gritted teeth. I could see from my end of the table that the blood vessel in her brain was going to burst.
"I get your point," I snapped. "Stay away from Liv if I wanted to keep my body and soul intact."
"I never said that," Dr Bell cried. "All I'm saying is that I'm intrigued by your relationship with her but at the same time I am a little bit worried. Therefore I am trying to come up with a compromise where you can have the best of both worlds. Are you with me?"
I nodded my head solemnly. Secretly, I was ashamed of my behaviour towards Dr Bell. Of course, I wasn't going to tell her that.
"Alright," she shuffled around for a little bit. "All I'm asking is to not become romantically involved with her. Given the state she is in, she is fragile when it comes to complicated and very intense emotions. I'm also thinking about your emotional wellbeing."
Once again I nodded but it didn't make any sense to me. I made a mental note to talk to Liv later on. I needed to know why Dr Bell would propose such a resolution and I wanted to know what was behind the whole fiasco this morning.
"That is all I summoned you for this morning," said Dr Bell. "You may go."
"What?" I asked. "There isn't any more?"
"No," Dr Bell replied simply. "There will be more during you normal session."
I immediately left the office soon afterwards. She never intended to get on my nerves and to a normal person, the experience wouldn't have been as aggravating but she really pressed a nerve in me. It was like she was implying that I was some sick, twisted person obsessed with Ginny.
Maybe I was.
Anyway, as soon as I turned the corridor in which my room was in, I came face to face with Liv. Rather, I literally bumped into her.
"Sorry," she stammered as she regained her composure.
"It's okay," I said.
"I was looking for you, actually,' she added.
"Yeah, I was too," I replied. "What's with what happened this morning? What was it that you wanted to tell me?"
Liv didn't reply. Instead, she planted a kiss on my mouth.
***************************************************
Please review
Next Chapter: Confessions Made to an Idiot.
As usual, thanks for the reviews.
Chapter Eleven – Liv's Dilemma
It was Harry Potter's seventh year at Hogwarts. The year had just started and already he wished that the surface of the earth would open up and engulf him whole. The first week had been hell. Not only did the teachers pile up the homework and assignments but the second War was at its height. People were dying left right and centre.
Personally, Harry didn't know why Voldemort was the subject of much fear amongst the entire Wizard population in Britain. To him, Voldemort was merely a wizard. He was just Tom Riddle, the handsome slytherin Head Boy who achieved who was an over-achiever when he was studying at Hogwarts. His ambition to take over the whole world (Wizard and Muggle) was pathetic. The only thing that Harry was worried about was that he liked to kill people and had an extraordinary amount of supporters. Perhaps he didn't need to ponder why Voldemort was the subject of much fear.
Harry sat silently in one corner of the library, buried under a pile of textbooks with a lamp propped on his table. The library had shut for the night but he managed to sneak in stealthily armed with his Invisibility Cloak It looked as though he pulled every single book off the bookshelves and brought them over to his table. The books towered over him and it looked as though they threatened to topple onto his head. It was already past midnight and yet Harry refused to go to bed. He was horribly reminded of Hermione's study habits during his third year.
Harry groaned at the thought of waking up the next morning with a throbbing headache from too much studying. He didn't want to be muttering the properties of the Inoculating Potion in his sleep either.
He couldn't concentrate on the matter at hand. He was supposed to be working on an assignment for Potions that was 'specially crafted' for him by Professor Snape because he failed yet again to produce something that would qualify as drinkable. Instead, the prophecy that Professor Trelawney made shortly before his birth played over and over again in the recesses of Harry's mind that night. "I'm the only one that can kill Voldemort," he said out loud to himself. "I'm going to have to do it soon. The longer I do it, the more Voldemort would become powerful and the more people would die. The fate of the world is entrusted upon me."
"Harry?" a tired, female voice called from his right. "Why are you still up?"
Harry craned his neck behind him nd was greeted by the sight of Ginny, dressed in her nightgown and slippers. To Harry, she looked like Aphrodite incarnate against the dim light emitted from the lamp. She yawned and stretched her arms before speaking again, "Why aren't you in bed?"
"How did you get in here without anyone seeing you?" Harry asked. Why was she here in the first place?
Ginny yawned once again and replied, "I am the little sister of the infamous Weasley twins. Anything is possible for me."
Harry laughed quietly before pulling a whole pile of books towards himself. "Sit down," he said.
Ginny smiled and sat down next to him. "Don't tell me you've left it at the last minute again," she scoffed. "Seriously, Harry. You're in seventh year now and you need to learn how to organise yourself."
"Okay Hermione," said Harry, trying to restrain a laugh. "What have you done with Ginny? Get out of her body now before you do something drastic."
Ginny laughed heartedly before playfully smacking me across the shoulder. "You're going to have to stop," she giggled. "Or else you won't wake up in time for your first class tomorrow."
"I wouldn't mind so much," Harry replied. "I'm already far behind as it is."
"Harry," Ginny giggled. "It's only a week into the new term."
"Well … why are you here?" said Harry, changing the subject.
Ginny exhaled loudly and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know," she replied. "I've been feeling a little sick again – I seriously don't know what it is! It's like somebody's refusing to let me get better! But why am I complaining?" She shifted in her seat and patted Harry on the arm, "What you're going through is much worse, what with the prophecy and all …"
By then the prophecy was common knowledge amongst their group of friends and sooner or later it was to be known by the whole British Wizard Community.
"It just depends on how you look at it," said Harry morosely. "If you were suicidal and wanted Voldemort to kill you, then you'd love where I am now. If you were maniacally homicidal, then you'd jump at the chance to kill the most evil wizard in the world."
Ginny sighed once again, kissed Harry's cheek and propped her head onto his shoulder. "Try not to think about it now," she said softly. "I love you, don't forget that."
"Yeah," said Harry. "Me too."
****************************************************************
I woke up the next morning and found two things: Liv was nowhere to be found and my pillow was soaked with what I assumed to be a mixture of tears and sweat. In regards to Liv, I guessed that she had risen early, for it was already eleven o'clock in the morning. In regards to my dream, I couldn't help but be angry. I hated having dreams about Ginny (they were frequent during my stay at Silverwater). It was just another painful reminder that I still held scars from the previous months. I made a mental note as to talk to somebody about them later.
When I opened my bleary eyes, the light from the sun blinded me. I was blinded by the light, like a vampire would have been. I rolled over in my bed and found a small memo perched up on top of my bedside table.
I groaned noticeably and reached for it. Fumbling with my glasses before placing them on my face, I read:
Mr Potter,
You are required to attend a session with me outside your usual scheduled appointment at noon today. Please be on time. I have a couple of things I want to discuss with you.
Dr Bell
I groaned once again and threw the little memo aside. I was sure that I wouldn't forget about the appointment today. If I did forget then it didn't really matter. I hated counselling sessions with her. I wish we had a different psychiatrist. I heard that Dr Davis was really nice.
By eleven thirty I was sitting at the dining table with my fellow inmates eating a late breakfast. I thought I was doomed to an uneventful morning until somebody's soft, feminine hands enveloped over my glasses, concealing my view.
"Guess who?" she whispered into my ear.
Believing it was Liv I said, "The same girl that stood me up this morning?"
"I knew it!" she cried. "It was about time too! Little Harry Potter is growing up!"
Regan unfurled her hands from my eyes and sat beside me. "Why do you look so stunned?"
I immediately snapped out of my reverie and dug into my cereal with great haste. "I'm not!" I protested through a mouthful of food.
"How was it?" Regan asked.
"What?" I asked.
Regan assumed that I knew what she was talking about but I didn't have a clue. Finally, she said, "You know! How was it?"
"Would I tell you?" I asked.
"Yes," Regan replied. "Tell me EVERY single detail."
"What if I don't want to?" I said cheekily.
"You HAVE to tell me."
"She's great in between the sheets."
"Really?" Regan cried. Her eyes were as wide as galleons. "I never would have thought, coming from a girl like her. I would have thought she was shy and timid."
"Regan," I laughed. "I was kidding."
I saw her face fall in disappointment. "I thought you finally did it," she said disappointedly.
"Are you waiting for me to sleep with somebody?" I cried out exasperatedly.
"Well," said Regan, "you're eighteen years old and you're still a virgin! How does that come about?"
"I'm not the last virgin on earth, you know," I said to her. "I don't HAVE to sleep with somebody."
"Just once," Regan said, smiling. "Just do it once!"
"Can we not talk about this anymore?" I asked, as I felt the conversation was getting ridiculous.
"Alright," Regan sighed. "Anyway, the girl that stood you up asked me to pass you a message. She told me to tell you to meet her by the makeshift pond today. She says she wants to tell you something. I bet I know what it is!" Regan winked roguishly and nudged my ribs with her elbow repeatedly. Though they hated each other, Regan and Vasco were alike in every way possible.
"Why couldn't she just tell me herself?" I asked.
"You know how she is," Regan replied. "I am merely a messenger."
"Thankyou for relaying the message," I said. "Well, if what you say is true, I must get going."
"Go get her, tiger," Regan purred seductively, complete with claw actions and eyelash batting. I gave her a contemptuous look, to which she cowered under.
"Just go!" she demanded. "You don't want to keep her waiting."
I would have sworn that when I made to step out towards Silverwater gardens I heard Regan mutter under her breath, "Goodness, what is he on?" However, I chose not to retaliate. Not only was it deemed inappropriate but my brain wasn't capable to conjure up a sarcastic retort this early in the day.
When I stepped into the sunshine I immediately scanned the gardens in search for Liv. My travelling eyes landed on a red-haired girl sitting cross-legged by the pond, destroying a nearby flower by stripping its petals. At that precise moment she reminded me of Ginny so much that it actually tore me up inside.
Liv spotted me and gave me a heart-warming smile. "I gather you got the message," she said.
"I didn't know why you couldn't just tell me yourself?" I asked as I walked towards her and sat next to her on the grass. "But that doesn't matter. Why did you call for me?"
"I just wanted to say thankyou for giving me company last night," said Liv.
I paused for a minute. "That's it?" I asked.
"Well, yeah …" said Liv bashfully. "And I was kind of hoping if you'd … you know listen to what I have to say."
The request was not in any way peculiar but the way she suggested it was. She was akin to a fragile little china doll with her endearing and sweet manner. She reminded me of a certain girl when she was ten years old.
"Okay," I finally replied. "I guess I could do that for you. Uh, what do you want to say?" I finished lamely.
"I wanted to get something off my chest," said Liv. "I wondered if we could just sit around and … talk?"
"Don't you think we've worn that out by now?" I asked. "I already know all there is to know about you. We've talked ourselves out."
"I don't think we have," said Liv. "After all, I haven't revealed all about myself."
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
"I have to be honest with you," she said quietly. "I … uh … something happened as of late and." I could see she was sweating a little bit. She was nervous.
"What's the matter?"
"Uh, nothing," said Liv nervously. "Uh, I just wanted to say."
She couldn't get the words out of her mouth. Instead, she made gestures with her mouth like a fish out of water.
"What is it with you?" I cried.
Finally, Liv gave into her constant stammering and threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "I have to go." She sprung to her feet and left. The entire event glossed over like a blur.
I ran up to her and caught up with her nimble speed. I grabbed her around the shoulders. "What's up with you?"
"I have to go!" she exclaimed in a panicked voice. "Regan's wrong! I can't do this!"
"Do what?" I cried exasperatedly. Until today, Liv was able to talk to me freely. What was different about that time? Have things changed?
Liv didn't respond. Instead, she hiccupped and disappeared without a trace.
I couldn't help but be completely and utterly bamboozled by the whole ordeal. First she summoned me from breakfast for a chat and yet she ran away without as much as saying a word. I knew better than to assume that she was in utter peril. If she were, she may have gone to Dr Bell. What was I supposed to do?
I blearily rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, dug my hands into my pockets and marched solemnly towards the main building. I groaned as my headache throbbed rather violently against my temples and across the front of my face. This was a consequence of lack of sleep for I had spent the majority of the night seething through my teeth. It was all because of Malfoy.
When I did manage to get to sleep, I dreamt about Ginny. The way I constantly dwelled on Ginny, my parents and Sirius was hopeless and I knew that within the depths of my heart. Liv's presence did not help the grieving process.
I really hated counselling sessions with Dr Bell. They were similar to Professor Snape's Occulumency lessons back in my fifth year. Dr Bell prodded and poked at my brain and my state of insanity by firing questions at me, which required me to re-open my wounds so she could rub salt on them. I couldn't help but predict that she would want me to talk more about my loved ones today, rather than perform the cryptic mind games which would enable to subconsciously get in touch with my inner anger. It was either that or she would give me a good tongue lashing about last night.
Ten slow minutes later I approached the doorframe of her office and leaned casually against it, feigning ultimate confidence. I was early, which was a surprise on her behalf.
"I've arrived," I said.
"I've noticed," said Dr Bell coolly. She then inclined her head towards the recliner, thus indicating to me to take a seat. So I did.
"Now," she cleared her throat and resumed, "today we're going to take it a step further and jump into the deep end."
What did I tell you? She was going to go for the nose five and force me to talk about my loved ones without beating around the bush.
"I want you to talk about your relationship with Olivia Hunter."
Now THAT got my attention.
"Uh, excuse me?"
"Olivia Hunter," Dr Bell repeated. "I've noticed lately that the two of you have become relatively close."
"I don't know about that," I said sardonically. "She seemed reluctant to tell me something earlier on."
Dr Bell raised her eyebrows to her hairline and scribbled hastily on her piece of parchment. I noticed that she didn't use the Quick Quotes spell this time and I wondered why.
"I couldn't help but think that Olivia looks a lot like Ginny Weasley," she continued grimly.
"So?" I asked.
"So," said Dr Bell, placing an emphasis on the word, "I couldn't help but make an observation."
"And what may that observation be?" I wisecracked.
"That the mere presence of Miss Hunter ultimately halts your process of recovery to mental health," Dr Bell replied.
I paused for a moment and inhaled deeply. The air I breathed was glazed with the think tension that hovered between the two of us. She was a fool for treading on dangerous ground, for she was making assumptions about which were definitely not true. I was not obsessed with Liv, despite what she thought.
"What are you getting at?" I asked her.
"Do you think that this has something to do with your grieving for Ginny?"
"No," I snapped immediately. "I don't know what you're playing at here."
"I think I do," Dr Bell said. "You're reluctant to let go of the past."
"That doesn't make me crazy," I said snappishly.
"I never said you were crazy," said Dr Bell soothingly.
My eyes widened in bewilderment as a shot up straight in my chair. I couldn't believe my ears. Did she just say that she never said that I was crazy?
"Isn't this a mental institution?" I asked nastily.
"This is a mental correctional facility asylum," Dr Bell corrected me.
"Isn't this the place where all the crazy people go?" I said.
"This is a place where volunteer patients seek refuge in order to recover from a mental breakdown or to correct mental disorders."
"This is a mental institution then," I cried. We were getting off topic but I didn't care. I couldn't believe that this woman was being hypocritical.
Dr Bell sighed out of frustration and leaned back in her chair. "Mr Potter, I would like to discuss something with you and then you will be free to do whatever you want for the rest of the day. Do you mind co-operating with me today?"
"Fine," I replied. "Do whatever it is you have to do."
"I want you to tell me about your time with Ginny," Dr Bell demanded.
"I don't know if I want to," I told her.
"I think you should."
"Why?"
"What was it that you liked about her?" Dr Bell asked, brushing aside my question.
"I already told you, I don't want to."
"Mr Potter-."
"I. Don't. Want. To."
"Does Liv remind you of Ginny at all?"
I knew she was going to do this. She was going to twist my words around and use it against me. She was going to say that my friendship with Liv was nothing but a maniacal obsession in order to live the days when I was happy again. The reason why I usually never participated co-operatively with her in therapy sessions was because I refused to give her ammunition to destroy me. Dr Bell may have called it 'helping me recover' but she was just going to humiliate me.
"No," I finally replied. "Liv is much different to Ginny. She may look like her physically but in reality they are two worlds apart. No, they're really different."
For the first time since my stay at Silverwater, it looked as though I stumped Dr Bell. She paused in mid-action for a few moments before she cocked her head to one side contemplatively. "That's interesting," she said.
"It's the truth," I told her.
A heavy silence hovered between the two of us, before Dr Bell shattered it, asking if I wanted to proceed."
"There's nothing more I want to say," I told her, "unless you can think of some other way to analyse my brain. You know," a new thought had just occurred to me. "Why do we have to bother with all this? Couldn't you just perform Legilimency on me or something?"
"I am not a Legilimens," Dr Bell replied. "Also, I don't think it is an appropriate way of doing things around here."
"Fair enough," I replied. "Are we done? Can I leave?"
"I want to say one more thing," she said, placing her hand up in front of her to stop me. "I have been observing your reluctance to let go and move on rather intensively. It's rather frustrating when you think about it. The loss of some of your friends – like Cedric Diggory, your godfather and your girlfriend really has destroyed you -."
"No they didn't!" I protested
"From what I can see," she continued, "you denied the fact that Ginny died initially. You refused to believe it because you had so many losses in life already. Therefore, you didn't grieve properly."
I glared at her but in my mind and heart I knew that she was right. She was a psychiatrist after all. Dr Bell saw me glare at her so she reprimanded me almost instantly.
"I don't know what it is with you," she sighed. "I am here trying to help you recover and resume a normal life-."
"I'll never have a normal life," I remarked. "I'm Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, remember?"
"Well," said Dr Bell, "as normal as humanly possible then."
"Yeah, right," I said unpleasantly.
"Mr Potter!"
"I'm leaving," I announced and then I got up from the recliner and headed for the door.
"You are NOT pulling that same stunt on me!" Dr Bell snapped. "I demand that you sit back down this instant!"
I obeyed reluctantly, without a fight.
"Right … we are going to finish this session whether you like it or not. I'm not done yet!"
"We've almost finished," I cried exasperatedly. "You asked a question and I answered. What more do you want."
"I just said to you that I wasn't finished," she said angrily through gritted teeth. I could see from my end of the table that the blood vessel in her brain was going to burst.
"I get your point," I snapped. "Stay away from Liv if I wanted to keep my body and soul intact."
"I never said that," Dr Bell cried. "All I'm saying is that I'm intrigued by your relationship with her but at the same time I am a little bit worried. Therefore I am trying to come up with a compromise where you can have the best of both worlds. Are you with me?"
I nodded my head solemnly. Secretly, I was ashamed of my behaviour towards Dr Bell. Of course, I wasn't going to tell her that.
"Alright," she shuffled around for a little bit. "All I'm asking is to not become romantically involved with her. Given the state she is in, she is fragile when it comes to complicated and very intense emotions. I'm also thinking about your emotional wellbeing."
Once again I nodded but it didn't make any sense to me. I made a mental note to talk to Liv later on. I needed to know why Dr Bell would propose such a resolution and I wanted to know what was behind the whole fiasco this morning.
"That is all I summoned you for this morning," said Dr Bell. "You may go."
"What?" I asked. "There isn't any more?"
"No," Dr Bell replied simply. "There will be more during you normal session."
I immediately left the office soon afterwards. She never intended to get on my nerves and to a normal person, the experience wouldn't have been as aggravating but she really pressed a nerve in me. It was like she was implying that I was some sick, twisted person obsessed with Ginny.
Maybe I was.
Anyway, as soon as I turned the corridor in which my room was in, I came face to face with Liv. Rather, I literally bumped into her.
"Sorry," she stammered as she regained her composure.
"It's okay," I said.
"I was looking for you, actually,' she added.
"Yeah, I was too," I replied. "What's with what happened this morning? What was it that you wanted to tell me?"
Liv didn't reply. Instead, she planted a kiss on my mouth.
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Next Chapter: Confessions Made to an Idiot.
