Amethyststar's: You're back! I wondered where you got too. THanks for the review. This chapter has a higher rating because of ... well, the colourful language.

Chapter Fourteen – Too Young To Leave

The one thing that I had been saving myself for until my wedding to Ginny was gone at an instant. When I woke up the next morning, I looked at Regan, sleeping soundly beside me and felt indifferent to the whole situation. I was sick of feeling guilty so I didn't but I knew that the guilt would have come eventually and it was going to knee me in the groin.

I looked at Regan again, sighed, got out of bed and got dressed. I was extremely hungry and worn out from last night. I wondered what Vasco thought when he came to bed earlier this morning, drunk off his face.

Unfortunately I had therapy with Malfoy that morning. Hence, that was why I was sitting on a chair next to him two hours later, glaring at him.

"I heard you had a great time last night," Malfoy sniggered.

How on earth did he find out? "And your point is?"

"I'm just making a friendly comment,' Malfoy replied nonchalantly as he could.

"You're Draco Malfoy," I said. "You don't know the meaning of the word 'friendly'".

"And you are knowledgeable about everything now?"

"That's right."

"You were always stupid Potter," Malfoy smirked. "I don't see how that can be."

"If my memory serves me correctly," I began coolly, "I bashed the crap out of you last week. Therefore that makes me a genius."

"Shut up Potter."

"Make me."

"I'll punch you out."

"You wouldn't dare."

"I would."

Suddenly, Malfoy dove over to me, grabbed my collar and brought my face close to his. He was so full of anger and rage that I actually saw froth bubbling in the corners of his mouth.

"I can make you suffer," Malfoy sneered. "My father was Lucius Malfoy and he's in St Mungo's on the tenterhooks of death, after all. Last week was just a fluke for you. Even without my wand I can make you scream out for your mother!"

"Don't you dare make any reference to my mother" I spat. "Your tongue is so filthy it isn't worthy of such a thing."

"Well then," said Malfoy as he let me go. "What about your dead girlfriend then?"

"Her either," I replied.

"Well," said Malfoy. "I don't think you are worthy of saying her name either. It had been two months since the little Weasel died and already you're stuffing another woman like a turk-."[1]

I had had enough by then. My tolerance level was waning and when Malfoy said those words, I snapped completely. Henceforth, I grabbed his head and slammed it against the wall. The impact of the collision was so great that I had made a hole in the wall.

"Merlin's Beard, Potter!" Malfoy screeched as he popped his head out and rubbed it. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Just in time, Dr Bell finally came. When she did, she looked at the hole on the wall, at Malfoy and then at me.

"The walls are paper-thin," I protested. "I don't think I did much damage to him. He's still conscious after all."

Dr Bell wore an expression on her face which was grim and unresponsive to the situation. "I'm not worried about the wall or Mr Malfoy at the moment Mr Potter. I should tell you this now rather than later. You might want to take a seat."

Uh oh, this wasn't good.

"Something happened this morning," said Dr Bell. She made no delay in informing me of bad news this time, "This morning, Olivia Hunter was found in her bathroom, dead. Upon my observation it looks as though she killed herself."

I knew she was emotionally messed up but it never occurred to me that she would kill herself. My limbs froze as my brain went into a state of shock. I couldn't believe that she was actually dead. Well, I didn't believe it at first but realisation sunk in rather quickly. Suddenly, I wanted to ask Dr Bell how she did it, so I did.

"Do you really want me to tell you how, Mr Potter?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied. "I have to know."

"It appears she poisoned herself," Dr Bell replied. "She left a note. I was wondering if you could help me unscrambled the message Mr Potter because it seems to be very vague. You were the only one she opened up to amongst all those in the Joseph Heller ward."

I couldn't speak then. I was in such a state of shock that my voiced seemed to have temporarily disappeared.

"Very well," I said when I eventually found my voice. "I'll see what I can do."

Dr Bell nodded solemnly and walked out of the room, leaving Malfoy and I in an eerily painful silence. I glanced at Malfoy and mentally challenged him to retort some sarcastic remark. I expected him to find a way to twist the situation around and put the blame on me. Surprisingly, he did not say a word. I was a clear indicator of how dire the situation was. His face was as clear as day; Draco Malfoy was stunned.

Trembling from head to toe, I walked out of Dr Bell's office and walked down the long, twisting corridor leading to Liv and Regan's room. I kind of hoped that they removed her body from the room. I really didn't want to see the mess for myself.

When I did enter the room, I found Dr Bell and one of the nurses who restrained Malfoy on his arrival here and another man inside. The man looked as though he was a ministry official as he was wearing elaborate robes of deep purple and was carrying as scroll of parchment and a quill.

"Mr Potter," said Dr Bell. "The note is on her bedside table." She pointed at a small folded piece of parchment neatly perched on top. I reached out for it, opened it and read:

I said I didn't want to die but you gave me no choice. I cannot live a life where I am constantly trampled on and treated like a non-entity. I saw what you did last night, how could you do this to me? I guess this is farewell forever.

Those words burned through my eyes and into my memory bank. I knew for sure that they would remain there for the rest of my life. Tentatively and cautiously, I peered over at Liv's body, which was propped up on her bed and covered with a single white sheet.

"How did she get hold of poison?" I asked. Tears brimmed in my eyes and I choked back a sob. I didn't want to cry so I held it all back. How could she do this to herself? In my opinion, her reason behind killing herself was rather petty. People kill themselves for worse reasons. How can somebody take their own life over something as trivial as unrequited love?

Dr Bell shook her head in reply, "I have no idea, Mr Potter," she replied solemnly. "Frank here has just sent an owl to the ministry and a letter to the Muggle Coroner. Perhaps either Frank or the coroner may have answers for us."

"Ma'am," began Frank as he stepped forward. "Perhaps I should remove the sheet in order to examine the cause of death more closely."

The nurse stepped forward and made to remove the sheet when I let out a strangled cry of reluctance.

"No!" I cried. "I don't want to see her."

The nurse froze in mid-action and then withdrew his hand quickly.

"Very well," said Dr Bell. "Mr Potter, are you able to unscramble the message?"

"Yes," I replied. "From what I can gather, the message was addressed to me. I don't want to reveal its true intent."

Dr Bell replied by nodding her head slowly and steadily.

I couldn't stay in that room any longer, so I ran out of there as fast as I could. As I ran, tears threatened to overcome me and spill out onto my cheeks. I hated almost everything about my life. I hated Ron and Hermione for caring enough about me to know what is right for me. I hated Ginny for dying. I hated leukaemia for killing people. I hated Voldemort for being a bastard. I hated Liv for killing herself. I hated Dumbledore for sending me to a life of isolation for ten years only to hunt me down and thrust me in a world so hell-bent that only the fittest survived.

Most of all, I hated myself.

~**~

I was acting like a typical angst-ridden teenager but at the time I didn't care. How could everything come crashing down on me once again? Liv and I had a good friendship but everything became complicated when she declared her 'love' for me. In actual fact, everything went downhill as soon as I let Regan Zabini have a peep into my bed.

Throughout the duration of the day I refused to talk to anyone. I locked myself in mine and Vasco's room and wouldn't let him in for different reasons. He wanted to have a shower. He wanted to use our loo. He wanted to get his Quaffle. I refused him entry anyway.

When I did come out later that day (when it was almost dinnertime) I didn't come to dinner for I couldn't face them. Instead, I found a nice, secluded spot in Silverwater Gardens and drowned in my sorrows in a melodramatic way. As expected, the extreme shock that followed Liv's death had not worn off by far; fragments still remained.

Liv's body was taken away this morning, so I heard from Dr Bell. That day, Dr Bell's face was as white as the walls within. Before she told me something that I should have known for a long time. Liv was under suicide watch as she was bipolar. I had a hard time believing it for myself. From what I heard, those suffering from bipolar depression usually swung wildly from intense elation to severe depression. I didn't see it. If only I had known. Now she was dead and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

After Liv's untimely death the desire to get away from Silverwater was pre-eminent. I didn't care what Ron and Hermione said, being here was definitely not for my own good. I was beginning to think it was but I quickly changed my mind. After all, I wasn't THAT crazy and being here was eating me away.

I managed to keep my head on my shoulders by pacing around the garden maniacally for hours on end. I never discovered so much about the Silverwater gardens until that particular night.

"Harry?"

I turned around with great haste and came face to face with Regan Zabini, the last person I wanted to see. Ever.

"I'm really in the shit now, am I?" I said in a low voice.

"I need to talk to you."

"No you won't," I snapped.

"I need to talk to you now," she said sternly. "I don't like your attitude with all of us at the moment. Look, I'm really sorry about Liv but that is no-."

"Don't you DARE!" I snarled at her. "You don't have a right to be sorry. Liv is dead. She was only sixteen for god's sakes! She was younger than Ginny was when she died! Nobody should die that young. DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE SORRY! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!"

"What do you mean I have no right to be sorry?" Regan shot back. "I was just concerned because I knew that Liv was a good friend of yours."

"Whore," I spat.

Regan's eyes widened in astonishment. She folded her arms across her chest, "If I recall correctly," she began, "you said that you had no objections at all. Whatever it is you're harbouring you can't blame me."

"It's not my fault! You initiated it!"

"You are the master of your own actions, Harry Potter," Regan said sternly. "I don't know what is going through that head of yours but only Merlin knows that it's full of garbage!"

"Why are you angry at me?" I asked her.

"Did you REALLY have to ask that question?" Regan yelled. "The question is; why are you angry at ME?"

"I'll say it again" I sneered, "you're a whore!"

Regan's eyes widened once again before she slapped me across the face really hard. "Don't you DARE say that to me," she growled through gritted teeth. "The next time you say something like that to me you will wish you were never born."

"It's a little late for that now, don't you think?" I asked her.

"I don't care," she snapped.

"Get away from me!"

"NO!"

"GET LOST!"

"What's going on here?" said a voice. Moments later, Vasco appeared from behind a tree. "I heard a lot of screaming so I decided to see what the toss was all about."

"Vasconcelos, this is our business, not yours!" Regan cried exasperatedly. "Do you mind leaving us alone?"

"I was just catching up on reading," said Vasco. "I can't concentrate with you screaming the house down."

"Then go inside!" Regan yelled. "Read there! Let me bash the fucking shit out of this bastard myself!"

Vasco raised his eyebrow and let eyes travel from my blank expression to Regan's infuriated one. "And why is it that you want to bash the fucking shit out of him?"

"You don't want to know," Regan replied.

"I think I do," said Vasco. "If it involves hurting Harry in any way, then I think I want to know about it."

Regan uttered a groan in aggravation and grabbed clumps of her hair, "Vasconcelos, think about what this idiot has done to you and think about what he has done to me! Today he thought only of himself and locked you out of your room. You couldn't bathe or brush your teeth until dinnertime! Merlin only knows why you didn't do that before breakfast but you had to walk around in your own grime for the most part of the day! Throughout his stay here he treated you and me like crap! He treated Liv like crap and he has the bloody nerve to be upset that she died!"

"What is the matter with you?" I yelled at her stupid face.

"Why bash him now?" Vasco asked Regan, ignoring my question. "Why didn't you bash him before then?"

"He slept with me last night," Regan replied sardonically, "and now he's calling me a wh-."

"I get the point," Vasco interjected. I expected him to tease me for finally losing my virginity but he didn't. "Do you really have to bash the crap out of him?"

Regan had no time to reply. What happened next happened so fast that it was almost like a blur. Somebody had appeared out of nowhere, grabbed me by the collar and slammed me up against the wall repeatedly.

"What's the matter with you, Potter?" the figure snarled.

It took a while before I realised that it was Malfoy that was attacking me. Where did he come from?

"What's the matter with you?" he barked.

"Why do you care?" I retorted. "Why don't you take Zabini's advice and mind your own business."

"You need a fucking wake up call!" Malfoy exclaimed. "I'm going to be the one that's going to give it to you."

"Get your filthy hands off me."

Malfoy reacted by slamming me up against the wall again. He did this over and over again to the extent that I could see stars flying around my head. "I can do whatever I want with these hands and what I'm going to do with them is get even with you."

"Malfoy, that's enough," Regan cried. "This is between Harry and me. You and Vasconcelos should go back inside."

"He put my head through a wall," Malfoy yelled.

"And why are you having a cry about it?" I asked him. "Being the git you are, you should be used to it by now. Or are you afraid you can't get your daddy to come and eat me up for you? You should have thought of that before you bash him to death."

"Shut up, Potter," Malfoy snapped.

"Is that all you can say to me?"

If I had known that Malfoy was very violent, I wouldn't have provoked him but as it was, he threw me to the ground and punched me in the face.

What happened next happened in rapid succession that I barely had time to register what was happening. When I did, however, I realised that Vasco and Regan were yelling at Malfoy to stop as he punched away.

I knew then that I was just getting a taste of my own medicine. That was when I started believing in karma and it was definitely biting me on the backside.

"Why are you like this?" Regan screamed at me as she pried Malfoy off. "Malfoy, that's enough!" She then turned back to me and picked me up from the ground. "I want to get one thing straight with you. The rest of us are on the same boat as you. Our loved ones also placed us here because they thought it was for our own good. You're not the only crazy one here so get over yourself. From what I heard, you cracked after Ginny died, BIG DEAL!"

I couldn't reply to her. I was trembling from head to foot. The tears were coursing down my face now because I couldn't suppress my emotions anymore. I wanted it all to stop and I didn't care what it took. I wiped my lip with the back of my hand and saw that it was stained with blood.

"Look," said Vasco. "That's enough."

"No!" Regan yelled.

"Regan, that's enough," said Vasco slowly.

"I want to know why he did what he did last night and I want to know why he's calling me a whore now!"

"Fine!" I exploded. The tears were really pouring down my face now. "I'll tell you why I did what I did last night. I was upset and I wanted to feel on top of the world again and I didn't care how I was going to do it! Your invitation seemed so tempting so I took it! Are you happy? Liv killed herself because she saw us fucking each other's brains out – that's why I'm calling you a whore. And for the record, I didn't just 'crack'! Ron, Remus and Hermione sent me here to Silverwater because I tried to raise Ginny from the dead!"

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Now it's up to you guys to decide where you classify that as 'loony'. I've been dying to post this chapter for a long time. I don't know if raising the dead would be classified as loony but you have to admit, Harry NEEDED recovery from a mental breakdown because of that, don't you think? As always, please review.

If you're asking why I placed those words in bold ... er, well, I wanted to reinforce the whole point of the story into your brains. *smiles*

Next Chapter: Blood and More Blood.

[1] From 'Liar Liar'