Chapter Two
"Sir the invasion has started." The Sasuke stood behind him, now it was daytime and probably about twelve o'clock. "The British leaders had no idea that it was going to happen. We have such an advantage sir! I think it's time that we send out that bomb."
"Konohamaru!" said Naruto. Konohamaru appeared out of no where and stood beside him saluting.
"Sir!"
"Do you think we should drop the bomb on England? And if so. . .where?"
"The bomb is good, sir, it's just you need to drop it. . ." he thought for a moment. "On Japan!"
"Damn it!" said the Sasuke as he picked the small child up. "This is about the future of our organization!"
"I know that."
"Damn it!! Just let the bomb over London and they will fall. Trust me sir." Naruto thought for a moment. 'Maybe if I drop it on London, Britain will fall easily but if I drop it over Japan, God knows what will happen. . .Japan, London, Japan, Pizza.'
"I HAVE IT!"
"What is it?!"
"We're going to drop this bomb over London. Sorry Trusted Planner but this is for all Pizza's everywhere. They fought in the trenches, the skies, the snows!"
"Sir. I think I los-"
"Silence! Sasuke! Get me a pizza! Immediately! We can then talk to it and it will tell us Optomisis' plans. . ."
"Who the hell is Opto-"
"He's the Transformer you idiot! I swear sometimes you just so stupid. . .now where's that pizza?"
"Yeah!" said Konohamaru as he kicked Sasuke in the shin. "Get the pizza, pizza lackey!"
"Damn kid!" said the Sasuke as he left. He went to the kitchen and got the pizza. "Damn it when the hell is he going to grow smart!?"
"Sasuke!" said Naruto as he got onto the ships top. He gave him the pizza and Naruto studied it. "You failed me again!?"
"How sir?"
"This is cheese! Look! Cant you smell the. . .cheesiness!? It's all cheese, like you! You cant have a cheese pizza, Konohamaru go get me a real pizza."
"Sir!" he ran off.
"Sir, is he coming back?"
"No, Sasuke, no. . ."
"Sir the pizza!" said Konohamaru. It was now ten o'clock at night and Naruto was trying to sleep. "The pizza!"
"Konohamaru. It's ten o'clock."
"I know, I had to swim to the mainland to get a pizza."
"Why the HELL did you do that?"
"Uh. I don't know."
"Just leave the pizza here, we'll talk to it tomorrow."
"Sir!" he ran off again.
"Uh, sir?" said the Sasuke. "Isn't his bed over there?"
"Yes."
England
"Do not move, try to make hazardous movements, eat lead, or move and we will not kill you," said a soldier through a blow horn. "YOU!" he pointed to a man riding a bike. "KILL THAT MAN!" eighty tanks went off and the man was blown off of the street. "Okay, do not move. . ."
"Sir the plan is going according to. . .plan."
"I know Sasuke! This is so cool! I got all them Brits in the army, and they all mine! Wooh! After bombing London Britan just fell to my wraith! Wooh! Good work in thinking of the plan, Trusted Planner!"
"But sir that was my plan."
"No it wasn't. It was Trusted Planners!" he gave Konohamaru some chocolate. Konohamaru started eating it and he started running into things in the small tank. Konohamaru ran up to the Sasuke.
"It was my plan!"
"No it wasn't, you wanted to bomb Japan!"
"We're in Japan, Sasuke," said Naruto.
"Someone shoot me. . ."
"Can be arranged." The gun clicked.
"Not now!"
"Sir!" said a voice over the radio. "We have someone in front of us, want him to blow up?"
"Let me see this man!" he put his head out of the top of the tank. A man with red spiky hair and a tan tattoo going from his right eye to his ear stood in front of him. The tattoo went in and out and looked like a ribbon on his face. He wasn't muscular but he wasn't scrawny either. "Shoot him!" the tanks went off and the man stood there, the rounds coming closer.
He jumped up into the air and avoided the bombs. "Naruto! You shall perish today!" he jumped towards him.
"Is he talking about me?"
"Sir get down!" the Sasuke threw him down the tank. The man landed at the top.
"Naruto Time to die!"
"Shoot that man!" said a soldier.
"I'll kill you later." He jumped off. Naruto quickly scrambled up the tank.
"Hahah! You cannot defeat me because I'm NARUTO THE EVIL OVERLORD!"
"Sir you almost died!"
"No, you are just paranoid soldier."
"Naruto," said president Bush. They were now in Iceland and inside the base of operations. Naruto sat at his chair watching the little meeting. "Pull your troops out of Britain now!"
"I will if you give me all your troops, Mr. Bush."
"Never!"
"Fine! I'll just bomb you!"
"Sir we don't have any bombs left," whispered the Sasuke to his ear.
"Very well. Give me all your troops or I will bomb New York City. Remember London?" he showed some graphic images.
"Those look like a Christmas party."
"Wha-Damn it! Show the other ones!"
"OH GOD NO! You can have them! Where do you want them to go?"
"Britain. Send them there."
United States Postal Service
"Get in the damn box!" said a fat old lady as she pushed a soldier inside a cardboard box.
"But I don't wanna!" said the soldier.
"Damn it!" she shocked him with a shocker. He fell unconscious and the next soldier came in.
"Am I going to return to the 'states?"
"No!" she shocked him and threw him in the box.
"Your troops are on their way," said Bush. "Twenty million of them."
"Hahah!"
"Pull your troops out now!"
"You idiot, why would I! Now I have twenty one million soldiers. You only have about five million left and all I need now is to conquer Russia and I control the world." A smile went across his face. "You're an idiot, Mr. Bush. Now where's my ham! I'm hungry as hell!" the TV clicked off.
"Mr. President?" said Chaney.
"Dick, we need to get more troops! Now sign the bill to dig oil in Alaska and then go get a petition online to stop him!"
"Ok!!!"
"Konohamaru!" said Naruto. "Where did the pizza go?"
"It's right here, sir!" said Konohamaru as he brought it in. He put it on a chair in front of Naruto. Naruto got up.
"So Mr. Pizza, tell me, what's Optomis' plans? If you tell us, we'll make you an anchovy pizza. Now come on! Tell! Squeal! Do anything!" The lid opened.
"Fine!" it squealed. Sasuke stepped back. "Optomis is going to go to the Deceptigon's base! He's going to kill Megatron! Oh God oh God oh God!! Noooooo-can I have the anchovy's now?"
"Yes! I knew this Optomis was up to something. Just never thought he would get Megatron in this. Konohamaru!"
"Sir!"
"Call this 'Toonami' that shows these war stories. I want them stopped!"
"Sir!" he ran off.
8:30, Saturday
"Come on come on! No more commercials!" he sat in his chair with some pop corn around him. Finally the robot guy showed up and he listened ever closer.
"Transformers Armada up next!"
"Damn them! Konohamaru! Konohamaru!"
"Sir!?"
"You called these, 'robotic' people, yes?"
"No, yes?"
"Yes or no, yes?"
"No, what?"
"Your confusing me!! Did you call the robotic people and tell them to send the stories off the air." In the back round the things the pizza had spoke about were happening.
"Uh. . .no."
"Damn it!"
"Aren't you going to change the channel, sir?" said the Sasuke.
"Just because you want to watch Teen Idol doesn't mean that I want to!"
"Well, I thought you didn't want to watch this." Naruto took a bite of popcorn.
"Teen Titans is up next," he grimly said.
"Oh yeah this is great!!!" said Konohamaru as he watched the conquering of Denmark. The troops ran past the camera and he laughed again. "Wooh!"
"Oh yeah!" said Naruto.
"Sir, this isn't ve-hey it's that assassin again!" said the Sasuke as he pointed to the same guy they'd seen before. He ran towards the soldiers and started killing him.
"Kill him!" shouted Naruto through the radio. They were still at the base though.
"We're trying."
"Kill them bloody Americans (No offense, I'm a patriot.) that are getting killed anyways!"
"Sir!" the man was shot though he ran off.
"Hahah, another job well done-see that baker! Kill him!" the baker ran off, bullets after him.
"Sir, we don't really need to kill the innocent."
"Oh sure we do, see that guy who killed my soldiers. He was an innocent."
"No he wasn't. He tried to kill you."
"Silence! Hey Konohamaru you still got that Scrabble game?"
"Sir!" he took the box out.
"Ingenious!" they started playing. "Hey Sasuke want to play?"
"Why not. . ." the Sasuke said as he sat down. "Lemme see, there asshole."
"ME!?"
"No sir! Look a-s-s-h-o-l-e."
"I see. Hahah counter this! Tristain!"
"That's not a wo-"
"Shut up!" said Konohamaru as he threw a piece at him.
"Denmark is ours," said the Sasuke in front of Naruto.
"Sweet, now this Belgium. . .don't they make cheese there? I want this cheese country, then after that we can threaten France and get their country! (no offense, again) This is the best job, and I get paid!" he said as he took the check.
"Yes, sir. What shall we do now?"
"Invade Belgium!!! Then France too. . .I guess."
"Sir."
Denmark. A short day later
"Wooh! Cheese!" Naruto said. He had a cheese hat, shoes, and shirt on. He was throwing the cheese around as the Sasuke stood beside him. Konohamaru was happily eating as much cheese as he could. "Cheese cheese cheese, stand before my knees! I am the best, oh yes! Cheese!"
"Sir, we should be going their army is ours now and-"
"Sasuke, I'd kill you right now, but Trusted Sasukes are hard to find these days. So consider yourself lucky."
"Yes. . .sir."
"But three countries are yours!" said a Chinese man. Others were beside him so Naruto guessed it to be the United Nations. "Stop this madness before we are forced to kill you!"
"Kill me?!"
"Yes. We have an agent already out!"
"You mean the redhead? He got shot."
"So he's dead?"
"Yup. Now onto other matters. This 'Toonami' as they call themselves show grim war stories! We want them stopped."
"It's just a sho-"
"Stop the madness!"
"Will you stop?"
"No. It's just a favor."
"Never!"
"Fine, asshole. I'll give you a moose card."
"Perfect! Send it and then we'll cancel the show immediately!"
"But ambassador!" said a voice in the background.
"Shut up! I wanted the moose card for so long I've forgotten what it is!"
"Sir!" said Sasuke as the TV clicked off. France has surrendered.
"Hahah woosies."
