Author's Note: Eheh okay, this is my first fic... lemme say a few little side notes before we begin... k? k.
First of all, this is not your average Naruto Fan Fiction. It is a parody about Sasuke, because I think it's fun to pick on him. I'll be blunt, this story will have moments where he is picked on and abused, in a humorous way. Let me make this clear, I've nothing against Sasuke, I just believe to gets too much attention and needs a little something like this.
Also, before criticizing this story's small vocabulary, let me say this; The story was intended to be told like a children's book, you'll figure it out sooner or later. The title is kind of a dead giveaway.
Throughout the course of the story, it will not be just one story line. They are like short stories, though some may last a few chapters or so. Some though may leave off in a certain place and continue in the next Chapter, but with a new storyline. So yeah... let's begin, eh?
I: Sasuke's Bad DayOnce upon a time, in the peaceful village of Konoha, there was a ninja named Uchiha Sasuke, that everyone seemed to just ADORE. But this day, however, things went topsy-turvy for him. Sasuke woke up, threw on his fancy black outfit, put on his headband, and walked outside to gaze at the birds and the bees, just like he does every other day. He was merrily strolling through the streets of Konoha, hands in his pocket, eyes half open and no smile on his face, heading for the bridge to begin his super-fun daily ninja training. But he was stopped on the way by a face he'd never seen before.
"I don't like your attitude, dude!" said the unfamiliar, strange man. Sasuke twitched, looked up to the scary man, who was about twice his height, and said, "You're bothersome." And continued his strolling about, which he considered 'really fun'. Little did poor Sasuke know, this scary man would soon be a great help to him soon.
Sasuke-kun finally reached the bridge, and was greeted by an unhappy Naruto. Uh-oh! "What the hell is your problem!? You're even later than Kakashi-sensei!" Sasuke looked down, and noticed his shadow was very small, right under him. It was noon already! Where had his day gone? Poor Sasuke!
"Hmph." Was all Sasuke had to say, and strolled over to lean on the rail of the bridge, to wait for Kakashi-sensei's announcements. But, unlike other days, the rail seemed to have a crack in it, and the whole thing snapped! Poor Sasuke fell down into the river below, in terrible shock! "Sasuke-kun!" Sakura-chan screamed out. "Sakura-chan, he had it coming, and you know it." Said Naruto.
Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi all peered down in the river below, and all of them were shocked at the sight! "Surf's up! My bad attitude dude!" it was the scary man from earlier! He caught Sasuke from falling and drowning in the river. I guess he wasn't such a scary man after all! Sasuke was amazed, and confused. Aww. "How the hell is he surfing the waves of a gentle river like this!?" he thought. "This is one strange day." And it will get stranger yet, Dear Sasuke!
Later into the day, Kakashi announced the fun game they were going to play. "Today, we're going to play a game, but it is a serious one. It is called 'Pin the Gourd on the Gaara'." The three students just sat there, with a very freaked out expression on their face. "Now, let me explain the rules," he began. "I have made a wooden statue of Gaara, and three parts of a gourd are arranged in various places throughout the area. We will be playing it here, the same place we had to do the Survival Training with the two bells, long ago. You three must work as a team to gather the pieces of the gourd and pin them onto Gaara by any means, shuriken, chakra, anything. The thing is, I will try to stop you. If I can get the gourd piece from you and hide it again, you will be tied up to one of the stumps for the rest of the day, all the way until midnight. This is a check-up on your basic ninjutsu skills. It will be far from simple though. Any questions?" "Yeah, what if we have to pee!?" said Naruto, grinning. "You'll have to hold it..." replied Kakashi. "Let us begin."
Our hero, Sasuke, was the first to make a move. He swiftly darted over to the easiest gourd piece, and ran over to the fake Gaara to pin it to him. But, uh-oh! Naruto began chasing our Sasuke! "I know you're Kakashi in disguise!" Naruto yelled, throwing a knife at him. It stabbed poor Sasuke in the back, and he hit the ground with a thud. "Damn you, Naruto, you fool!" Whoa, Sasuke! No need for the language! "Heheh, gotch—oops! Sasuke! It's really you!?" said Naruto in shock. Naruto then turned around, and fixated on beautiful Sakura-chan, whom had already one piece of the gourd pinned. While Sasuke was down, and Naruto was dazed out, Kakashi suddenly snatched the gourd piece Sasuke had had, and threw it into the distance! This is terrible! Our poor, helpless Sasuke will now have to be tied up!
The hours went by, and all Sasuke could do was watch the people more skilled than him wage war over the gourd pieces. Kakashi stole a piece from Naruto, but Sakura threw a shuriken to distract Kakashi, so then Naruto could steal back the piece, thus pinning it to the nearby Gaara. Only one piece left. The one Kakashi stole from our hero at the beginning.
It was getting late, 7 o'clock, P.M. And suddenly, Sasuke had to go wee-wee! Whatever will he do? It would be impossible for him to hold it for five long hours! This is terrible, wait, this freaking sucks! Poor Sasuke began to wet his undergarments, but then thought to himself, "Wait, a real man should be able to hold it, no matter the circumstance." Man? Hah! What a joke! Erm, anyhoo... the game dragged on. Sasuke waited, and waited, and waited, until three hours later, when the last piece was pinned to Gaara.
Kakashi declared the end, finally, and said, "Congratulations, Naruto and Sakura! You both did better than I thought. Even Sasuke did better than I thought." Ooh... that was harsh. "Damn you, Kakashi! No one seems to appreciate me today! What happened? I must look into this!"
"It's getting late, students, you can be dismissed..." said Kakashi. "Hey! What about me?" said poor Sasuke, feeling left out. "It's only 10:30. You can go at midnight. I'll come back for you then." Said Kakashi, cheerfully. Naruto and Sakura began to leave for home, but Naruto, that very bad man, put a grin on his face and got an idea. "Wait, Sakura, I want you to watch me do something before we leave!" he said. "What is it, Naruto?" Sakura replied, unenthusiastically. "You'll see!" Naruto walked over to Sasuke, back facing him, and, wouldn't you know it, the evil man farted! Right in Sasuke's face! "Heh heh!! I've always wanted to do that! Wasn't it great, Sakura-chan!?" he said, laughing. Sakura sighed, and walked off. "Damn you Naruto! Go home!" Sasuke said, kicking him away. Naruto ran and caught up with Sakura, and they went home.
Midnight finally came, after what seemed like years, because Sasuke's judgement of time is off. Kakashi appeared from behind, put away his dirty novel, and untied Sasuke, smiling the whole time. Sasuke didn't say a word, (how rude) and took off for him. When our friend finally made it home, he went directly to the bathroom, and let it rip. "Ah..." he said, In absolute bliss. But after a while, he got scared. He had been peeing for 10 minutes now! Something was terribly wrong! Was it something he ate? Finally, he just decided to stop, and continue the next morning, if it doesn't go away by then. He put on his P.J's that had airplanes and locomotives on it, and crawled into bed for a good night's sleep.
To be continued...
