Author's Note: And, unfortunately, this series does continue. Read and weep.
II: Sasuke Goes to the DoctorSasuke awoke, the next morning, and much to his misfortune, he still had to go wee-wee in the pee-pee! He crawled out of bed, fixed his hair (cough prep cough) and put on his cheesy little costume once again, but this time, headed for the lavatory (that's a bathroom, kiddies).
Unzipping his pants, he sighed... was it a side effect of Sharingan? We sure hope not! Tinkling, he thought of the day before, and how very terrible it was. Meeting a scary man, falling off a bridge, getting out in the fun game, having to hold his wee-wee, being farted on by Naruto, insulted by Kakashi, and not being able to stop trinkling his winkling. Why was it so bad? Why couldn't everyone have worshipped him like before? He could never think of a good explanation for why his luck turned around for him. But, he had gotten so sidetracked on those matters he forgot he was even leaking his ding-dong! He'd been doing so for 30 minutes! Oh, dear! What is wrong with our favorite Uchiha?
Sasuke finally made up his decision! He was going to take a fun adventure to the hospital for a check-up! He packed up his things, and marched out of the front door, to begin his quest. But, unfortunately, Naruto was blocking the doorway. "Hey Sasuke!" said Naruto, giving him a pat on the head. "Sakura-chan and I came to wait for you this time to make sure you weren't late! Isn't it great!?" "You're bothersome. I'm not training today." Sasuke said, cheerfully. "Why not!?" said a now saddened Sakura. "We need you! You're really good and I don't want to have to be with Naruto all day!" "Shut up. I don't need the training anyway." Said Sasuke, but we know that deep down inside he loves training with his buddies. He stepped between the two and walked away, the opposite direction of the bridge that they always meet at.
Sasuke finally reached the hospital, and waited to be called in the waiting room. There weren't that many people there, that means poor Sasuke might get looked at soon! This will be fun! It was quiet, just how Sasuke liked it, so he picked up a fun magazine and relaxed, flipping to see what's inside. He was sitting there, ever so peacefully, reading an article about 'How to Make Your Own Cotton Candy', when he looked up, only to see a crowd of people all standing around him! In the front of the crowd was a pregnant woman, and in a cruel, nasty way, she spoke to Sasuke, "You smell like Mexican Dipping Sauce!" As she said this, the crowd roared with anger. Poor Sasuke was being bullied again! He stood up, pulling out a throwing-knife, but was stopped by his name called from the other room. It was finally his turn for some FUN! "Uchiha Sasuke!" the nurse called. "I'll deal with you all later." He said to the pregnant woman and the mean people behind her, and walked over to the nurse with a 'what the crap was that all about' look on his face.
First, they weighed him and measured his height. He was a-okay! Then, they took his temperature, normal. Blood pressure, normal. Heart beat, normal. They then discussed the problem. "So, what exactly is wrong with you?" asked the kind, pretty blond-haired nurse. "It started yesterday when I had to pee, but was forced to wait 5 hours to do so. When I got him, I started peeing and it lasted for 10 minutes. I held it and slept that way until morning, when I peed for another 30 minutes. It never ended... and I think something is wrong." He replied. "We'll do what we can," said the nurse. "But we'll need you to give us a urine sample. The doctor will be here soon." Sasuke was given a cup, and escorted to the bathroom for a testing on the wee-wee from his chang-a-lang.
He began to pee, closing his eyes and relaxing, forgetting about all the worries in life. It felt so GOOD! But, when he came back to his senses and opened his eyes, he had overflowed the cup of wee-wee, and the pee-pee was all over his hands and the floor! Uh-oh! What will poor Sasuke do now? There was only one thing he could do; he sealed the cup and walked out of the bathroom, of course. Too bad he forgot to wash his hands! Oh well! Back in the check-up room, he waited for the doctor to come in...
Finally, after what seemed like a millennia (cough Yu-Gi-Oh cough), the doctor arrived. Oh my garsh! The doctor was the scary surfing man! "Whoa! It's my dude with the attitude, always in a bad mood!" he said, happily. "This guy is a freak..." thought Sasuke. Pulling out a magnifying glass, the man looked at Sasuke and said, "Let's start lookin' at what we got cookin'!" "It's my penis. I can't stop peeing." Said Sasuke, irritated. "Whoa! You got a problem with yo' penis, then there's a problem in between us! Don't be stayin' with it! Shake it three times you're playin' with it!" said the man, laughing. "IT'S NOT THAT WAY! IT JUST DOESN'T END! Isn't there a better doctor in here?" Whoa Sasuke, calm down. "Let's get this one thing clear, there ain't no better doctor than me up in here!" said the surfer. Sasuke sighed, why him?
After a long time of arguing and testing, the bad news finally came through. Sasuke had a bladder infection! Something inside him was building up impossible amounts of urine in his bladder, so he always has to drain the wang-thang. The scary, surfing doctor man said that he'd need 'a bladder transplant to fix his elephant'. This scared poor Sasuke greatly, he shuddered in fear! He didn't know that many bladder donors, what if he gets a stranger's bladder!? How frightening! There he was, lying on a hospital bed, with a scary man in the room, smelly hands, in hospital clothes with no airplanes and locomotives on it, and about to get a bladder transplant from a scary stranger! When will Sasuke be normal again?
"Alright, dude! Relax in those slacks 'cause you about to get jacked to the max!" said the doctor. "Will you please stop it with the rhymes?" said Sasuke, pretending to be fearless. "Hey man, rhymin' and chimin' is how I'm survivin'!" replied the man. Our disrespectful Sasuke said not a word. The man then walked behind Sasuke's bed, which apparently had wheels, and spoke up, "Hold on tight! This is gonna be a wild night!" He began pushing the bed slowly, but then pressed a strange button. There were hydraulics on this bed! Uh-oh! The bed started bouncing up and down, right to left, and repeated, over and over! This made Sasuke feel bad, and had to pee more! He lost control and rolled off the bed, landed on the hard, tiled hallway floor and wet his slacks! The pee leaked out of his pants and spread across the hallways, it was everywhere! It even spread under doors into other patients' rooms! How embarrassing! What will Sasuke do now? He was dizzy, lying on the floor, in a puddle of pee-pee, in a hospital, in the hands of a freak! Find out in part 3 of the Super Happy Fun Adventures of Sasuke!
To be continued...
