He didn't want to fall asleep afterwards, because he knew she'd leave.
He'd outstretch an arm to her side of the bed, and feel nothing but bed sheets...and then he'd get that sinking feeling in his heart, and for the rest of the day not have a clue of what to do with himself. Should he call her? Should he wait for her to call him? Was this a once off..? All these thoughts would haunt him for hours and hours on end. Non-stop.
And then he'd be reminded that he had just slept with his best friends wife, and he'd start feeling guilty for treating their romp as any normal relationship...when it was anything but! He'd start thinking about Peter...he'd start torturing himself! Oh bollocks!
So, to save himself the worry...he tried to stay awake, by watching her as she slept. She was probably aware of his looking at her.... she was probably awake, but just waiting for him to nod off so she could escape.
He was thinking this while he started at her...watching her bare chest move up and down with calm breaths...her pink lips slightly parted...her perfect self paused in peaceful slumber.
He wanted to whisper her name. "Juliet". But wondered what would happen if she really was asleep. Perhaps she'd get agro at him for having woken her just so he could rack her with the guilt he'd been feeling for the past half hour... so he remained silent, just watching her.
He thought perhaps he should get dressed. Tiptoe downstairs; reopen the gallery (as if there were hordes of people eagerly awaiting his works...), maybe nip down to the café across the street...buy her some coffee and a bagel.
But, what if she hates bagels. What if she's allergic and her head puffs up to twice it's normal size...not very appealing. Perhaps she'd be hurt that he tried poisoning her with a bagel that she is massively allergic to...and then she'd leave?!
Or...what if while he was at the café, she made her great escape.
He shook his head, frowned, and continued to stare at her. He was hopeless. He hadn't a clue what to do now...if this had been any other girl, one he'd picked up in a pub or at a party.... he'd get dressed, make a pot of coffee, and wait till she woke up on her own account. There would probably be a little awkwardness as she headed for the door, both knowing it had been a one-night-stand, noting more. Who cares? Move on!
But this wasn't just any girl. This was Juliet. Jules! He'd admired her from afar for too many years. And now, she was in his bed.... after making love to him....lying naked next to him...Juliet...Jules! Just the thought made him hyperventilate. He didn't want this to just be a one off thing. Even though it should have been a never thing. It had happened. And now, he wanted more. He wanted her. And most of all...he didn't want her to leave!
A slight movement under the covers interrupted his mad thoughts. She was waking up.... brace yourself, he thought.
She exhaled a little, as she stretched her long limbs. Eyes still closed. He couldn't tell if she was smiling because she knew where she was...or because it hadn't clicked yet?!
He moved his face close to hers, while her eyes were still unopened. "Hello!"
"Shit!" her eyes popped open as she stared at him staring into her eyeball.
He silently cursed himself.
"Sorry....sorry!" he recoiled, sitting up. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks!
And then, she laughed. He sighed.
"Jesus, Mark...gimme a heart attack!" she smirked, sitting up aswell, bringing the covers to her chest.
There was a mattress with a sheet on it up in the loft. Mark sometimes slept up there when he had been working too late...
He turned to her, cracking an easy smile. "Sorry..."
Just then, to his utter surprise and delight...she wrapped her arms around him, and rested her head on his shoulder. This was a bloody good sign!
"How are you?" he asked, softly.
She sighed a little, but didn't remove her hug. "I'm.... slightly dazed...trying not to think about how much of a slag I am."
"Your not a...." he tried.
"...I feel like I should torture myself, you know?" she interrupted, and he nodded.
"Yeah...yeah I know exactly what you mean"
"...I don't know how I'm going to face him tonight..."
He nodded again, and rubbed her thigh comfortingly with his hand.
"I'm afraid that the moment I see him.... I'm just going to throw everything up. Tell him every nasty detail.... not because I feel like I owe it to him.... I mean, that's just part of it.... but mainly because I'm selfish as hell and want to feel as though I'm the hero for being honest with him, you know?"
He nodded again; glad she was talking with him.
She untangled herself from his body, turning to look at him, "how do you feel?" she asked earnestly, bringing a hand to rub his back. He liked that.
He turned to her, and then looked down clumsily at his hands. "Well.... you know...I feel like...like I have just betrayed my best friend...mentally, for the last year and a half...and now, physically...so, basically I feel lower than the dirt beneath my fingernails...."
"Lovely..." she whispered, trying to lighten his words. He smiled, only a little. "Yeah...." He replied, heavily, "And I know that for the rest of my life, I'm never going to stop feeling this way...feeling this sorry"
She lowered her eyes, and kissed his shoulder. He turned to her, his eyes softened by her pain.
"But at the same time.... you know, its like my heart has these two sides..." he started, warily. "...One half is as heavy as an anvil, feeling totally guilt-ridden and low.... and the other side...well...is jumping for joy.... because I was with you"
She leaned in, kissing his lips. When they pulled away, she thought she could see every piece of emotion he was feeling...just by reading his eyes.
"I want to feel guilty and sick right now..." she began, "...But I cant because I think...perhaps...just maybe..." she breathed, "we might just have something here?"
With that, he took her head in his hands and kissed her furiously. All over. Light kisses down her neck, across her breasts; down her stomach... he couldn't believe how happy he was to be committing adultery. And neither could she.
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She breathed in his scent as he kissed her goodbye.
She pulled a little on his shirt collar...pulled him in for a quick, light kiss on his forehead. "Goodbye" she whispered, smiling.
"I'll see you..." he started.
"When I drop by again!" she finished, turning the door handle.
He watched her walk out, and start down the road. He had never, in his entire 26 years of life...felt sadder to see someone leave.
Juliet was thinking much the same thing, when she was stopped dead in her tracks by an approaching figure.
"Jules?" they called out, squinting.
She thought of turning in the other direction and running bolt fast. But thought that might look a little too suspicious...
"Peter!" she smiled instead.
"I thought you were going to be very productive today and watch East Enders?..." he said, stopping infront of her, clearly perplexed as to why he was seeing her, one block from Mark's studio.
She smiled nervously, literally shaking in her runners. "Well...I just dropped by..."
"You didn't go see Mark, did you?"
Her jaw was hanging open as she stared at him, wide eyed. If she said no, what other reason could she give for coming this far out of her way?
"Well, yes...actually...I did!"
"Why....?" He began. She couldn't tell if there was a hint of raised eyebrow.
"To pick up the photos!" she smiled coolly, reaching inside her dark red coat and pulling out the yellow envelope.
"Oh, right...are they fantastic or what?" he beamed.
She nodded, "they are fantastic!"
She felt like throwing up. Standing infront of her husband, holding their wedding photos in one hand....Mark's cologne all over her body....his lips still faintly remembered....her body aching for him. She felt like vomiting, right there and then!
He took the envelope from her and eagerly tore into it, flipping through the photos.
"Good one of me!" he smiled, "oh! You look gorgeous, babe!" he continued to beam.
She nodded numbly, still staring at him in some state of shock. "Peter, what are you doing here?" she finally gasped.
He looked up, shook his head a little, and gave a 'stupid-me' look. "Oh! Well....I was on my way to see Mark..."
"Why?!" she snapped, causing Peter to stuff the photos back in the envelope and look at her, perplexed. "Actually, it's a surprise!" he said, with a definite eyebrow raise.
It only took ten minutes to walk back around the corner to Mark's studio. But in that ten minutes, her arm linked with Peter's as he chatted about his new clumsy secretary who called him 'sugar' and 'hun', which he found mildly inappropriate seeming as she was only 23 years old....all Jules could think was 'my god, he knows something is up and he's going to knock Mark's lights out...'. Her head was definitely throbbing. She couldn't imagine going into work tomorrow. Or, ever again, for that matter.
Mind you, she didn't know why, if Peter suspected something, he would be acting so darn jolly right now. Talking about some bimbo called Claudia who called her husband 'sugar' while handing him some papers to sign. And then, Jules got a stab of guilt. Here was her husband; calmly talking to her about a mild flirtation in the office...he was being completely open to her about a harmless, flirtatious secretary....probably because he didn't want her to drop by one day and wonder why some short-skirt-wearing, blonde-bob, cleavage-spilling secretary had given pet-names to her husband?!
He was being open, honest and calm about nothing and here she was bonking his bloody best friend. Oh god, she definitely felt like vomiting.
They arrived at Marks, Jules hurrying up the stairs, pushing infront of Mark who found her behaviour quite peculiar this afternoon.
She burst through the door, to see Mark behind the desk, his head looking up and smiling when he saw her.
"Back so soon you...." He started, but silenced himself when he saw a stone cold, 'shut-up-or-I-will-cut-you're-balls-off' look come across her face. He thought himself extremely lucky when he saw Peter come through the door behind her. Mark was going to say 'back so soon you great big slag?', intending to raise an eyebrow in a Clark Gable type-manner. Phew. Lucky he had shut up wen he did.
"Ahh, Peter!" he recovered, shakily. He came out from behind his desk, digging his hands nervously into his pockets. He suddenly felt like being sick. "Come to get the photo's?...Well I already gave them to Jules...." Mark blurted, and instantly abused himself silently. What if Jules had told a lie, and Peter had no idea she'd come to see him today?! Bugger, bugger, bugger!
"Ah no, I'm here for another reason entirely..." Peter replied, looking smug.
Mark gulped back acidic vomit.
Jules could feel the tension as both men exchanged worrying glances between each other. She had to break the silence. "C'mon you great big twat!" she snapped at Peter, glancing quickly at Mark, "What the hell is this good news you spoke of?"
Mark snuck a look at Juliet while she spoke pointedly to Peter, who was smiling slyly at his wife.
"I came here to tell my best friend to congratulate me!"
"Congratulate you?" Mark repeated.
"What for?" Juliet finished.
"On getting a promotion..." Peter began "You are now looking at new partner of Wallace and Wallace!"
There was a stunned, relieved silence. Peter looked from Mark, to Juliet and back to Mark. "Well!?" he said, throwing his arms in the air.
Juliet stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him in a bear hug. "You are so bloody brilliant!" she squealed.
Mark, suppressing the jealousy he felt shoot through his body at the sight of Peter and Jules hugging, stepped forward aswell, and shook Peter's hand vigorously when Juliet detached herself.
"Does this call for a dinner celebration, or what?!" Peter beamed.
Mark shook his head, "actually, mate..." he started to decline.
"Please Mark? You great big dork!" Peter bellowed, "join me and my lovely lady for a drink and a steak...to celebrate!"
"No, mate....I'm happy for you, but..." Mark tried.
"Let it just be us, babe?" Juliet interrupted. Mark couldn't help feeling slightly dejected, even though he didn't want to go.
Peter shot Juliet a silencing look.
"Nah, she's right Pete...you two go out...have fun!" Mark saved her.
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So that was how they spent their evening.
Mark alone, but not terribly unhappy, for he still had the lovely image of a naked Juliet clear in his mind. And her words, clearly indicating that they had started something that she did not regret and wanted to continue to explore. These thoughts were enough to keep him happy all night. As was the idea that he might see her tomorrow in her lunch break.
Meanwhile, Juliet sipped her wine and listened while Peter recited all of what happened that day at work. The exact look on the Wallace brother's faces as they calmly welcomed him into the partnership.... Claudia, the flirtatious secretary's kiss on the cheek for him. All the pats on the back and congrats he received.
Juliet nodded and smiled where was necessary. But she could hardly become too enthralled in the story, not with thoughts of Mark swimming about in her head.
"And of course you'll have to go out and buy a slinky new dress for the dinner they are throwing in two weeks time, for me...." He interjected her thoughts about Mark's fabulous ass.
She nodded, "great, a new dress!" she beamed half-heartedly.
"Anyway.... Garry Wallace said I had been showing great potential for the last five years...." Peter continued.
Juliet blocked out his ramblings, feeling slightly guilty for doing so, but she couldn't help it.
She wondered if Mark was terribly lonely...
