Woo, chapter 3! You guys really seem to like this story. Thanks Nat, for the brill idea! Hugs all round I think! I'll find you a Nirvana badge for your bag, hopefully one you haven't got yet!
Thank you for all your lovely reviews. Replies are below as usual, and on with chapter 3, Goheno Nin, which means 'forgive me'.
Faerlain.
Ivy – Excuse me? I'M arrogant? I think you should read your reviews again. I think its YOU that's the arrogant one around here. Quit wasting my time, and don't bother reading this if you don't like it, ok? Everyone else is fine with it, why should I take any notice of people like you? Yes, you were wasting your time.
Raymae325 – It was my pleasure to review! Doing a website eh? Oooh! Me go looky when you've finished, so I need addy! Thanks for reviewing.
Lindele – That's me, likes to be different! I've updated, thanks for reviewing.
DaydreamingTurtle – Yay, another new chappie! Aren't I kind? Lol, thanks for reviewing.
Lothliana – Icky Orc! Oh, you're so considerate Amy! I know I sent it to you, but I'm putting it up anyway! And keep reviewing dear, ta very much. Thanks!
Elerrina – Teehee, yes, you SHOULD have known! BUT KEEP IT SECRET! She doesn't actually have a name. Yet. Thanks for reviewing.
Tiara Shin – Yup, TYPICAL FAERLAIN! Good girl, stop bouncing. Go to bed, good idea. SHOPPING! I SPENT ALL MY MONEY. COS I'M CLEVER LIKE THAT! 6 DAYS I'M GETTING MARRIED! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woo, we're getting married, we're getting married! Ok, now I'm bouncing round room too. IT'S CONTAGIOUS!
Thanks for reviewing. SEE YOU IN LOTHL"RIEN!
VanillaCokeGal – You like it then? Yay! This plot was a bit risky, as I'm leaving myself open for flames, but I think its going ok so far, yeah? Thanks for reviewing.
Phew LOOOOOOADS of replies there! Cheers guys!
Chapter 3: Goheno Nin.
Training. Loads and loads of it. Giant Orcs and Uruk-Hai with whips would stand us in lines, inspecting us, ordering us to do press-ups, squats, jogging…it was hard work. It was all to build up our strength and stamina.
Day by day, bit by bit, we were told what exactly was happening. Saruman was sending us to Rohan, scout by scout, to destroy every village and town we came across. Yet as each day passed, and less and less Orcs were sent out, I was starting to wonder. The Wild Men of Dunlending were going too, and more of them were leaving than Orcs. Something else was going on, and I wanted to know what.
But no one would tell the others or me anything. They either didn't know, or were just stubbornly refusing to say anything. I could feel tension in the air, and as more and more weapons were made, I began to figure out what was going on.
Saruman was creating an army.
Was I to be part of that army? Was I too, to march with everyone else to wherever he sent us and kill hundreds of innocent men? At least I would finally be doing something other than working out day and night, trying desperately to build up my rather feeble female muscles. When I was an Elf, I had often been stationed on the borders of Mirkwood, protecting it. Back then, I had been able to draw a bow, wield two knives, a sword, a shield too if needs be. I had been trained well in the arts of Elven fighting, graced with the speed and ability of all Elves.
But since I had been captured and locked in a cell for Eru knows how many years, my muscles had weakened. I no longer had the strength I once possessed. It was a bitter blow when a sword was first placed in my hand and I could hardly hold it upright. The Orcs had laughed at me, called me a weakling, then I had shown them by lopping one of their comrades heads off with one quick swipe. That had quickly shut them up.
But now I was growing strong again. Even though I had hated it, the running across from Mirkwood had done my legs a world of good. And I was getting fitter and fitter. I felt stronger, felt better. As long as there were no Elves wherever it was we were going, I was going to do just fine.
Helms Deep. That's where we have been ordered to go. Apparently, that's where all the men and women of Rohan have fled to.
Boer mammen.
Where had that come from? It was Elvish, I know that much. They need to get out of there. That's what it meant. But why did it suddenly come into my head? There must be a reason.
They're all going to die at our hands.
But I have no choice other than to go. It was not in my nature to do such a thing. When I was still an Elf. But now I am an Orc. Only a fraction of Elven blood remains in my veins. I am trapped.
Degitham hain ne dagor.
Yes, we shall slay them in battle. Every. Single. One.
We left Isengard on the first day of March I think. Or maybe the second. I was too excited to take note of the date. We were marching non-stop to Helms Deep. The humans thought they would be safe there.
How wrong they were.
It's raining. Fantastic. Not that I can really feel it of course. It's just annoying. Affects your vision when fighting.
The Men are all situated behind the wall. Now we're getting closer, I can see just how high and thick the walls actually are. How are we ever going to get inside? Sure, we have ladders, but still…
Some stupid old man just fired an arrow from the wall and hit someone in the front rank. That's got us annoyed. We start thumping our spears on the ground. It's muddy, and the rain is making it even worse. I can hear thunder clapping overhead, following the lightning. The flashes light up the wall for us, and we can see our terrified quarry. I smile inside. There are what, 300 of then, against 10,000 of us.
Degitham hain ne dagor.
It'll be a slaughter. That thought makes me feel slightly queasy, but it is what I must do. As long as there are no Elves, I shall be fine. Men are my enemy.
Adan. Cothen.
It's strange. When my transformation into an Orc was first complete, I forgot a lot of my own language. I was devastated at first, then realised I didn't actually need it anymore. I spoke mostly in Westron, occasionally picking up a few random words of Orkish. But it didn't suit me, so I quickly dropped it and stuck to Westron or Common.
Some of our own army held flaming torches, but they gave off little light. I guess they just made us look a bit fiercer to the poor men up on those walls. I knew I didn't really want to be here, but…
Goheno nin.
Yes, please, anyone who was listening. Forgive me.
As I stood there, watching events unfold before me, I let my mind wander back to my life before the capture. Random memories, riding out with friends, picnics, archery competitions, accidents on patrol, short battles, weddings, funerals…
Mabo nin. Echedi nin veren, mabo nin.
I didn't want to be there anymore. I wanted to turn and run away, not use the scimitar I held loosely in my right hand, or the spear I held in my left. I just wanted to go and be free of this life.
Perhaps I should get myself killed on purpose. At least then my soul would be free. I would no longer have to live with the guilt I have suffered all these years. Knowing that deep inside, I was still an Elf, but on the outside, I was an Orc. An ugly, cruel beast with no heart, no feelings, no spirit. I had lost my looks, but they did not matter to me. I had lost my soul. I could not bear to live any longer.
I would have taken my own life years ago, but that is a sin in the eyes of Eru. That is why I held on for so long in prison. If I gave up to easily, I would seem weak, pathetic. I did not want to be like that. I had always thought I was strong, determined, unwavering in the eyes of my enemies, but clearly I was not.
I know now how people felt when locked away in darkness. You can feel yourself going mad, the cogs in your brain slowing down, creaking, giving up. You need air, more light, sunshine, clean water, and trees. But in a cell you have none of that. Only the firelight from torches hung on walls along the corridor, the darkness smothers you, and there is never any fresh air. I often found myself asking the question "Who are you?"
El man?
But I could never answer it. I did not know myself in the shadows. I was a different person, a monster, an evil being. I had turned away from the light. It had deserted me. Now I was leaving it.
But then, as I stood on that field, about to kill the innocent men up on that wall, I changed my mind. I had been an Elf! I was still an Elf, deep, deep inside my heart. The light would still receive me if I ever returned. And I should return. But there was no way back now, no way out except death.
My death would come to me upon that wall, at the hand of some unknown man. He would think I was just another Orc, another creature trained only to kill. He would never know who I really was.
I sent a prayer to the Valar, asking for my death to be swift and soon.
Echedi nin veren, dago nin. Leithio nin o han a goheno nin.
Please, kill me. Release me from it and forgive me.
I hoped they heard me.
(Adan. Cothen. – Human. Enemy.)
(Mabo nin. – Get me away from it.)
(Echedi nin veren – Please.)
She's remembering Elvish…
We're getting there! Slowly but surely, we're getting there! Next chapter, the fighting starts. Will she kill any Elves? Well, if you review, I'll tell ya!
Faerlain.
