DISCLAIMER: The Cat belongs to me – he really does! All other characters belong to E&L.

Chapter 5 – Stuck on You

"Trust me, Raph!" Mike exclaimed exuberantly, "This is gonna cure all your problems!"

"You know, Mikey," Raph chided, "Every time you say that, something bad happens – and I'm the one worse for wear!"

"Not this time, Bro!" his youngest brother assured him. He began to whistle a merry tune as the two turtles ambled along through the sewer system. "April says that she has a friend who did the same thing to hers and she hasn't had any problems since. I'm completely confident this will work!" Mike then gave Raph a friendly slap on the back of his shell and picked up the pace.

Later, at April's the two turtles were lounging on her couch while she fetched a couple glasses of iced tea for them.

"Hey, you guys ever handled something like this before? I mean, you know you have to do each one separately, don't you?" April asked as she reemerged from the kitchen, carrying two glasses of tea. Mike and Raph each took one and drank eagerly. She took the chair across from them and watched as her friends downed their beverage in one long gulp.

Finally, coming up for air, Mike remarked, his eyes bright, "Hey, we can handle anything, Ap. I mean, how hard can it be? It's just bits of vinyl, some glue, and that's it?"

Catching the confidence of his brother, Raph chimed in, "Yeah, plus there's two of us! Between Mike and me, we've got it covered!" He grinned big, forgetting his insecurities from earlier.

"Well, okay. Just remember, once the glue is set, it's near impossible to get off." April then rose from her seat and went into her bedroom. She came out a moment later carrying a store bag. Handing the bag to Mike, she then offered, "You can always do it here. I wouldn't mind. Might be kind of fun, actually."

"Naw, I don't think doing it outside of the sewers will work too well. Might be more difficult, in fact. At least down in the lair, the escape routes are limited." Mike replied seriously.

April nodded and then noticed Raph's legs and arms. "Good night, you really did get victimized!" She did her best to hide her smirk, but to no avail. Thinking about the twelve-pound ball of black and white fir that had bested the turtle was just too hilarious. She giggled at the thought but then shoved it back when she noticed Raph's less than amused expression.

"It hurt, okay; it wasn't fun. Thought I was going to bleed to death!" he said defensively, absentmindedly rubbing his one scarred arm.

"Of all the injuries you've had and then you get down-sized by a cat! Too much!" she guffawed. "Well, hopefully Gentle Paws will help solve that problem." Then she asked, almost as an afterthought, "Does Splinter know about your plans?"

The two on the couch went mute and gave her as passive a stare as they could muster. April looked at them both and realized that they were doing this on the sly, "You're doing this to Splinter's cat and you're not going to tell him?"

Mike cleared his throat, "He doesn't feel it's fair to the cat to punish him when he believes the problem is Raph."

"But, this isn't punishment; it just makes his claw less effective." April countered.

"Exactly Splinter's point. He's convinced that it will lessen the cat's ability to protect himself." Raph replied.

"But, you live in the sewers. Last time I checked your cat's the only one I've seen down there and I know for a fact that dogs don't roam the tunnels." The woman commented. "Still, the fact that Splinter has a pet is just too much. Never in my wildest dreams…" She began to laugh again and this time she did get a smirk from Raphael as well as one from Mikey.

Later on back at the lair, Mike was reading the instructions in the infirmary. His brother was waiting nervously as he watched The Cat explore the room. Mike had done the honors of fetching the feline since Raph had enough experience not to. Fortunately, for the turtle in red, The Cat was more interested in hunting for bugs than he was in tormenting his scratching post for the moment. "So, what d'the 'nstructions say?" he asked his brother.

"Well, you take one cat, dab a bit of glue inside a vinyl nub and then slip the nub over one unsheathed claw. Wait a moment and then do the next one like the first. The glue is supposed to set up almost instantly." Mike explained, continuing on, "Says here that once it's dried, the cat won't be able to even chew them off!" He looked at his tormented brother and grinned, "Sounds – perfect!" He beamed up at Raphael and commented, "No more scratching post!"

"Ah huh, well, just so I don't get ripped to shreds in the process. So, you gonna glue or hold?" Raph asked.

"Hmm…what would you rather do? You're the one he doesn't like?" Mike countered.

"Good question." Raph looked at the cat. The feline, now bored with his luckless search, was currently making his way over to them. The turtle stiffened. "Maybe you can get him first and put him on the table." He quickly suggested.

"'Kay!" Mike then stooped and picked up the cat, placing the animal onto the examination table. He stroked the cat behind the ears and went over its back, ending his fingers at the base of the tail. The animal stood up high on his back toes as the Mike continued to scratch, soon beginning to purr. "Well, he's in his good mood mode; now for the nubbing!" He snickered as The Cat turned a pleased face up at him. "Yep, he's in the zone all right!" Then, Mike looked at Raph and asked him, "So, you want to handle his claws or should I?"

"How are we supposed to do this again?" Raphael asked.

"One of us has to hold him while the other puts glue in the nub and then the nub on each claw. So, what part do you want to do?" Mike asked.

As Raph thought about it and all the ways that it could possibly go wrong, he decided that holding the cat would be safer – for him. At the very least, if things went south in a hurry, he could always let go of the beast. His worse nightmare would be to end up glued to the cat. "I'll hold 'em. Maybe if I position myself behind and have him facing you, he won't know it's me." He hoped.

Nodding his head, Mike agreed, "Yeah, I think that'll work. He seems to like me, so…" Looking back down at The Cat, the turtle in orange smiled, "Okay, Sweetie, time for a little claw nubbing! Daddy's not gonna hurt ya, just making things easier for Raphie!"

His brother wrinkled his muzzle up, "Sweetie? Daddy? RAPHIE? Are you insane! This cat doesn't have a clue what those words mean."

"Raph," Mike replied in mock indignation, "It's not the words; it's the tone behind the words. Cats like the 'e' sounds, or haven't you been paying attention. Just ask Donnie; he's done all kinds of research!"

About then, another voice popped in, "Ask me what?" It was Donnie.

Raph, nearly startled, turned around, "Hey, stop sneaking up on people."

"I'm ninja, Raph, it's what I do. Get a grip for crying out loud." Then Don noticed The Cat, "Say, what are you doing to Splinter's pet?"

Mike gulped a little, but then realized his opportunity, "Ah, we're going to protect the cat's claws so he – ah – doesn't snag them so much on stuff. Like carpets, the couch, our beds…"

Don added, "Or Raphael. Yeah, I get it." He looked around the two and saw the Gentle Paws package. As it occurred to him what they were really going to do, his eyes went slightly wide, "You know that Splinter was against this, don't you?"

Raph shot back defensively, "It's not his legs The Cat goes after, either. So, considerin' I've been his target, I think I've some say on this matter!"

Don nodded his head in sympathy, yet adding, "I can only imagine, though, how many back flips you're going to be doing once he figures out what you did to his cat." He then looked over at the package and commented, "Supposed to work from what the ads on the Internet have said." Smirking as he turned back to the two, he asked, "Can I watch?"

Raph narrowed his eyes, "We're not Entertainment Weekly, okay. If you're going to be in here…" and before he could answer, another voice piped in.

"Hey, what's goin' on?" It was Leo this time.

Raph rolled his eyes, muttering, "Just great, one more person to explain this to."

Don turned towards the newly arriving brother and explained, "Gluing covers on the cat's claws. Wanna watch?"

Before either Mike or Raph could protest, Leo brightened, "This ought to be interesting. Sure!" He then took up a stool that was nearby and plopped himself down on it.

Mike looked at the two and then declared, "From this moment on, you both become accessories to the crime at hand. Regardless of the outcome, you know nothing, you say nothing!"

Both Don and Leo made as if they were locking their lips and then throwing the 'key' away. Their grins widened in expectation. Don took up a chair, twirled it around so he faced the back, and sat down, his arms draped over the top. He now focused intently on the operation at hand.

"Great!" Mike brightened, "Now, on with the nubs!" He then turned towards the cat and stroked him one more time. Mike looked at Raph and directed, "Gently hold onto him. Don't grab him; just kind of clutch him lightly like."

Leo couldn't resist, "You know, like a purse!"

Raphael glared at his older brother, "When we're done with kitty here, I'd like to super-glue your lips together!" Then he went back to the present task.

Both Don and Leo chuckled, settling in to watch with rapt fascination as their surlier brother hesitated for just a moment. They saw him swallow a little in nervousness. Realizing that his noncommittal brothers were watching him, Raphael reached over with both hands and held on to the cat. The animal stiffened just a bit, not sure what to expect. However, with his feet still firmly placed on the table, The Cat relaxed once it became certain he wasn't being picked up. Laid out on the table before him were the nubs and the glue, the nubs in a shallow pan while the tube of glue rested nearby. Taking a pair of scissors, Mike nipped off the end of the tube and then picked up one of the small nubs.

He eyed the tiny piece of vinyl covering carefully, commenting, "Sheesh sure is small. Hmm..." He turned it over to expose the underside and the hallow area where the glue was suppose to go. Taking up the tube of adhesive, he gently squeezed just a dab into the center of the hole and then, once he sat the tube down, went for The Cat's right paw.

Initially, the cat didn't know what was going on. Mike had the first nub on the first claw before the creature could react. However, the animal quickly pulled his paw away out of reflex and meowed. Well, more to the point, he growled. He looked up at Mike, not at all sure what was happening. Mike grinned big, first at Raph and then at his other brothers, "See, nothing to it. Just go ninja quick and he won't know what's doin'!"

Donnie and Leo smirked even wider. "Well, so - now you've done one and there's nineteen more to go, right?" Don remarked.

Mike's enthusisam waned just a little but then he cheered once more, "Hey, if I can get one done every ten seconds, that's three minutes. Less than five, give or take a little coaxing!"

Therefore, not wasting any more time, the turtle turned his attention back to the cat.

Raph, however, wasn't so sure if this was a good idea, now. He could feel the cat rumble as it began to growl low and menacingly. He was certain the beast didn't care at all what was going on. Whatever it was, the cat didn't like it. Still, Raph felt that if he could just hold on long enough and if Mike could work fast enough, all his problems would be over with in a hurry.

Mike took up another nub, placed a small bit of glue in it, and then reached for the cat's right paw once again. That was when all hell broke loose.

First, the animal exploded into a mass of teeth and claws, well, nineteen claws anyway. He whirled around faster than any ninja and sank his teeth deeply into Raph's right hand. While Raph was yelping painfully and shaking his hand while jumping around, the cat scattered the nubs in all directions. In the process of trying to get off the table, he squashed the tube of glue, which then spewed out a fine spray of the liquid adhesive.

Mike tried to grab the cat but instead ended up getting in the way of the glue. Now, the sticky stuff covered the front of his plastron.

Almost in the same moment, Leo and Don leaped out of the way of the enraged feline, knowing full well the penalty for getting between him and his exit. Raph, however, was recovering quite well from the bite, eyeing Mike with a venomous glare.

"It's all your fault, you moron! He BIT me again!" and then charged at his brother.

"NO! Raph, don't, stop, keep away!" Mike screamed with his hands out in front of him. However, Raph charged him anyway, barreling into his brother like a bull in a China shop.

Meanwhile, The Cat made good his escape, careening out of the infirmary and down the hallway towards Splinter's room. The moment the cat scrambled into the rat's domain, Splinter woke up from his meditation. "What is going on?" he asked the cat, as if the creature might answer him. He noticed the animal shake his right paw, as if it were wet, so he bent down to gently pick him up. Splinter soon noticed something strange protrude from one of its paws. Upon closer inspection, he saw the one successfully applied nail nub and figured out what was going on. However, before he could even put the cat down, he heard a long string of cuss words and yelling coming from outside his room. As he moved into the hallway, the yelling became louder from the direction of the infirmary. Yet, he could also hear laughing as well. More to the point, there appeared to be two people laughing, and they sounded very much like Don and Leo "What did they do now?" he sighed as he made for the room.

As Splinter walked into the infirmary, Don and Leo were blocking the way, both doubled over and laughing hysterically. At the sound of a throat clearing, Leo turned around, tears streaming down his face. However, he stopped immediately when saw his sensei. He quickly nudged Don to be quiet and tried to resume a respectful pose. Splinter eyed them both suspiciously but then his attention drew to the other two turtles who stood further into the room. At first, he was puzzled. Something wasn't quite right with them. Narrowing his eyes a little as if that would make things clearer, he was still not sure he was seeing correctly. However, the more he stared the more he understood what had happened.

There, standing plastron-to-plastron, muzzle-to-muzzle and unable to do anything about it, was Mike and Raph, super glued together. Mike had the most pathetic look on his face while Raphael fumed, his eyes blazing in fury.

Don decided a simple explanation was in order. Barely suppressing a chuckle, he declared, "Mike decided to super glue nail nubs to the cat's claws."

Leo added, "Raph tried to – hmm - help." He nearly collapsed as he failed to suppress the giggle that exploded out of him.

Splinter looked at the two turtles in question. The corners of his mouth twitched a little as he observed them standing there, forlorn and glued together at the chest, face to face. His eyes watered just a bit as he attempted self-control. Yet, all he could say in response was, "I assume you failed in your attempt?" Leo slapped a hand over his mouth as he barked out a laugh. Then, looking at Don, the rat suggested, "I can also assume that you will assist in 'unsticking' them, as well." He then turned tail as quickly as he could and retreated to his room, saying as he shook his head in dismay, "Idiots."

Wrinkling his nose, all Raphael could muster was, "Geeze, Mike, don't you ever brush!"

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