A Day in the Life of Paul Starr, Special Edition!

Disclaimer: "Band on the Run!" - Paul McCartney

Chapter 4: A 3rd Helping of Madness!

The Xavier Institute

(Typical days for us Misfits include insanity, brawls with the X-Men, and even the occasional thwarting of the forces of evil. We also train and have our hobbies. Wanda has taken up quite an interest in dance. Craig enjoys watching her dance, although he'll never admit it. He's enjoying something himself: He recently managed to get his nightstick lined with black adamantium, making it indestructible.

Lance's big hobby is love poems to Kitty. I help him out on occasion.

Pietro's number one hobby is himself. He constantly looks in the mirror. If he doesn't quit, he's gonna turn into a mirror.

John…well, he's John. He sets things on fire, especially when it comes to Beach Head's stuff. The Pit has to keep a bonfire lit to keep him happy, despite the fact that the Joes don't mind when John sets fire to Beach Head's things. The only Beach Head possession John dares not touch is Sgt. Snuffles for obvious reasons.

I don't really know what Xi does in his spare time.

Trinity just tortures everyone with science experiments, and sending calls to Jamie, my protégé. Their latest project is figuring out my charms. They're convinced it's a mutant talent with me. Oh well.

Al and Todd…well, they're still together, let's leave it at that.

Fred's entering cooking competitions. He's a wonder. You should try his Texas Tornado Chili. It'll blow ya away, heh heh. Okay, bad pun, I'm sorry. The Blobster has won so many awards, they had to put up a special new room for them all. Blob quipped that they'll also have to make another room for all the platinum records the band'll get. Uh-huh. Anyway, that's just a little banter from little ol' me about how everyone's doing. To right now, the X-Girls provided some sweet pyrotechnics for the performance, but the club wouldn't let us use them due to safety concerns. No biggie. Jamie is the band's new "manager". The guy has the look, and the cell phone, so I figured he could do the job.)

The Superstars teleported into the X-Mansion in a vehicle. It was an old van with a spoiler on it, obviously fixed up. It was painted black with some misty streaks of dark blue with white twinkly stars on it. Airbrushed across its sides was the band's name in a fancy gold-and-silver lettering. The name was decorated by multi-colored shooting stars with five-pointed star-shaped heads. Scott saw the van arrive in disbelief. (Our official band tour van. It was a fixer-upper we picked up from a junkyard. Cover Girl was kind enough to help us fix it up. We painted it ourselves. We were partially inspired by the cover of an Ace Frehley album I own. Here's a fun Misfit fact for all you fans out there: Lance's favorite guitarists are Ace Frehley, Angus Young, Joe Perry, and Eddie Van Halen. Anyway, it took us three days to airbrush the van, mostly because John kept stealing the paint cans and using them as makeshift flamethrowers. I don't know why he did that, considering he could turn a lighter flame into a flamethrower blast telekinetically. I found out later when I saw Beach Head scream for his mommy, covered in flaming dark blue paint. Maybe we do need to have a long talk with John about his pyromania. Naaaaaahhhhhhhh. St. John Allerdyce wouldn't be right without his pyromania. I'm getting off topic here. Trinity put some inventions in the van to drastically increase gas mileage and improve the van in other ways. Contrary to popular belief, Trinity did not, and I repeat, did not, put laser mortar cannons on the van.) The Superstars, along with Blob and Xi, emerged from the van. (The van is lined with adamantium on the outside and inside, partially to protect the van, but mostly to handle the Blob's weight in case he needs to ride it. Don't ever mention that around him.)

"What the heck is this?" An exasperated Scott asked the emerging Superstars.

"It's called a van, Summers. Say it with me: vaaaaaaannnnn." Lance replied like he was explaining to a little kid. "Now you try."

"I know what that is, Alvers!" Scott snapped, pointing at the band's van.

"Then why'd you ask, dummy?" Lance snickered.

"It's our tour van." Paul said. "We pack our instruments in here. We'll use it to travel from gig to gig."

"You clowns don't have a tour lined up yet! Man, you Misfits are more delusional than I thought!" Scott laughed.

"Oh they will." A smiling Jamie walked out of the van, wearing a suit. The jacket and pants were dark-blue and black tiger print with bright blue flames running up the pant legs and sleeves, and was complemented by a black shirt, a bright blue tie, and black shoes. His ensemble was completed by a pair of sunglasses with sleek dark blue-and-black tiger print frames and bright blue lenses. "James Madrox, manager of the Superstars. As soon as my boys here win that talent contest, we're going statewide, nationwide, possibly even worldwide! My friend, you are looking at the next Rolling Stones!" Beast walked up to the kids and laughed at the sight of Jamie.

"I thought you were interested in directorial work, not managerial work."

"I am a man of numerous talents, Mr. McCoy." Jamie replied.

"You look ridiculous, Jamie!" Scott shook his head.

"The kid looks good, mate." John smirked. "Besides, he says he has plans for us."

"Don't ask me." Craig sighed. "I'm here to play."

"Hey, my suits are at the forefront of style, Scott!" Jamie snapped.

"Anyway, we have to go down to the club and get ready for our performance." Craig said. The Superstars left to collect their instruments.

"I have to go do some business." Jamie picked up his ringing phone and walked away. "Geraldine, honey! How ya doin'?"

In Bayville

The Superstars' tour van arrived in front of the Rock Box. It was a building that looked extremely retro in its paint design. The building was covered in 80's-style design and graffiti in checkerboard and pastel colors. It had a marquee with the club's name above it in wild lettering, and surrounded by numerous lights. The four mutants jumped out of the van and looked at the club. It was dark inside and the marquee was gray. The club was closed. (The Rock Box was a youth club recently erected that paid tribute to the 1980s. It's real cool. They play 80s dance and rock, and you get your admission price reduced when you dress in 80s fashion. I think it's a real awesome place. The X-Men never went there. I have no clue why.)

"Whoa, mate! It looks like it was plucked straight out of an 80's Poison video!" John whistled. Craig raised an eyebrow.

"I heard the 80's were coming back, but this is ridiculous." Craig sighed.

"Let's just go in and arrange our registration." Lance said. Paul nodded.

"Good idea. This looks like a place I might decide to frequent." Paul grinned.

"You would." Craig groaned. The foursome walked up to the club door. A huge man stopped them.

"Who are you?"

"Paul Starr." Paul bowed. "I called to sign up for Talent Night tonight." He introduced his bandmates. "St. John Allerdyce, Lance Alvers, and Craig Starr. We're the Superstars, remember?"

"Oh, alright. Come in." The man motioned the Superstars in. Scott's car pulled up near the Superstars' van. The X-Boys jumped out.

"Hurry!" Scott said. Ray quickly shoved something under the Superstars' van with their instruments. "Let's go!!!" The four X-Boys quickly jumped back into Scott's car, and took off back to the Mansion.

"That Starchild cannot perform without his guitar." Peter smirked.

"Neither can the Superstars. No instruments, no performance." Ray laughed. Suddenly, Scott's car exploded with a KA-BOOM!!!!

"OWWWWWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!" The four X-Boys were covered in ash, sitting in the road. Scott was holding the steering wheel.

"How did dat happen?" Remy's jaw dropped. In a nearby bush, Tabby and Trinity poked their heads out.

"Just in time." Quinn said. "We saved the guys' instruments."

"Thanks for helping us, Tabby." Daria replied.

"Where's my payment?" Tabby asked the Triplets. Trinity grinned.

"Okay, Tabby. Here ya go." Brittany handed Tabitha a Kiss t-shirt. "One of Paul's. Don't worry, he has loads of 'em." Tabby hugged the T-shirt, grinning.

"Hee hee, the other girls are going to be so jealous of me. Next time, try to get Paul to take me out on a date."

"Not that easy. Paul's immune to hypnosis." Quinn sighed.

The Pit

Back at the Pit, Lionheart was rummaging through Bulldog's closet. She was helping her brother pick something to wear for his dinner with Storm.

"Of all the bloody luck! Bulldog, do you have anything remotely formal?" Lionheart groaned.

"No way, sis. You know how I feel about formal gear." Bulldog replied. Davey Boy sat on the bed, barking.

Yeah, I remember the last time you wore a tie. You constantly complained of getting strangled. Davey Boy told his master, giving the dog equivalent of a snicker. Bulldog glared at the bulldog.

"That's not true and you know it!" Bulldog snapped. Lionheart watched the two argue. She shook her head.

"You two argue like you are bloody siblings." Lionheart groaned. Who am I kidding? Those two practically are siblings! Maybe I should get me a cat. I always did like cats. Unbeknownst to the siblings, Shipwreck and Polly were watching.

"Sooooooo, Bulldog has a date, huh?" He grinned evilly. "Well, we'll see about that."

"Awk, Bulldog's gonna whoop you." Polly snickered. "He's gonna beat you into the ground and make you beg for your mommy!"

"Oh shut up, you birdbrain." Shipwreck growled. Althea happened to walk by with Wanda.

"Oh brother, he's at it again." Althea groaned.

"I think we should let him go." Wanda shrugged. "Besides, we have to see the guys' show. And we know what'll happen. If Bulldog doesn't kill him, Storm will. C'mon, we have to visit Pietro. He's still recovering from that beating Lance gave him."

"I had no idea Lance could use a tank in that manner before Lance pounded Pietro for smashing his guitar." Althea laughed.

Hoo boy, looks like more trouble and insanity ahead!! Will Shipwreck ruin the night out, or will he end up with his entire skeletal system re-arranged? Will the Superstars' performance end up a smash hit or will their rock dreams crash due to the X-Boys? Find out in the next chapter!!! Suggestions needed!!!