A/N: This chapter is up much more quickly than I'd anticipated. Eleanor demanded I write chapter four tonight, and so I humbly carried out her wishes. This is actually quite an amusing chapter. Oh, and all the italicized stuff in quotation marks is in Parseltongue. Easy enough, right?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the HP stuff. Get used to it.

2nd Disclaimer: No, this is not a Mary-Sue of any kind. Amy is Snape's biggest fangirl, and Ella flirts with everyone. No, Cassie is not hitting on Lupin. Don't worry. Be Happy.


Chapter 4: Whose Bright Idea Was This?

They paused outside of Dumbledore's office, looking at each other. Suddenly, Eleanor and Amy grinned madly at each other. "Shall we meet up in the Great Hall for lunch, dears?"

Amy nodded to Ella. "Yes, that sounds lovely, luv."

"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. Are you guys going to start with the British accents now?"

Eleanor smiled at Cassandra. "Of course not, sweets. We just can't help it from time to time, you know."

"So you guys want to split up, then?"

"Yeah, Cassimus." Amy grinned, "I want to go track down Snape!"

"And I wouldn't mind figuring out where the Defense classes are held..." Eleanor winked at her two friends.

"Fine, fine. Abandon me, then." Cassie folded her arms over her chest, as she often did when she was feeling irritated. "Cause, you know, I'm not the huge 'Harry Potter' fanatic that you two are. I haven't read the books, I don't know the castle like the back of my hand."

"Oh, you'll be fine. Just don't interfere with classes, and glare at students who look at you questioningly."

"Yeah, that's great advice, Eleanor. Thanks." Cassie sighed. Amy had already begun to edge towards the dungeons (at least, Cassie figured that's where she was edging off to). "Fine. If you guys are going to abandon me, can you at least tell me if you know what Lupin teaches? It's obviously not DADA anymore."

Amy stilled for a moment in her slow escape to the dungeons. "Hm. I don't know for sure... but let's see... who wasn't in the Hall this morning for breakfast?"

"Vector, Hagrid, Trelawny, Sinistra... and the ancient runes and Muggle studies professors," Eleanor stated. "I think."

"Well," Amy began, "there were only 3 places empty at the Head Table. I'd imagine that Sinistra wouldn't take breakfast, as she's up late with the astronomy classes. Trelawny hardly ventures out of her tower to join the staff for meals... Vector, the Runes professor, and Muggle Studies professor I can't say anything about... but Hagrid should've been there."

"Perhaps he has left the school? Retired, or some such. Or, he might've died during the war..." Eleanor shrugged. "My guess, Cassie, is that Lupin would be teaching Care of Magical Creatures, if he's teaching at all. He could have some other position on the staff, or simply be living at Hogwart's."

Cassie nodded. "Well, the old man said we can't venture outside today... So maybe I'll be able to track him down inside the castle somewhere. You two head off." She grinned at her friends, "Go hit on the 'Boy Who Wouldn't Fucking Die', Ella, and go annoy the hell out of Snape, Amy."

"Have fun finding the wolf, Cassimus!!" Amy bounded off, in search of Snape. Eleanor simply winked, then smiled wickedly at Cassie as she went in nearly the exact opposite direction as Amy did.

Cassie sighed to herself, "Whose bright idea was it to let the two of them loose on a castle full of unsuspecting people?" She paused, "Oh. Right. It was that sanctimonious old bat who is chemically dependent on lemon drops. Forgot." Shrugging to herself, Cassie turned and headed vaguely in the same direction as Eleanor, determined to find the werewolf.


Amy was having a blast wandering through the school. It was mid-morning now; the second classes had already begun. The students had mostly ignored her when class had changed a few minutes ago, and she didn't mind. She was having way too much fun talking to the various portraits and ghosts she passed on her ambling way to the dungeons.

Finally she followed the well-worn steps down into the dungeons of Hogwart's. Amy wandered through the corridors, speaking briefly to each of the portraits she passed. It was just as she was passing the portrait of an old wizard robed in green that she heard a whispering. She paused and listened to it, "I do not know who thessssse new witchesssss are, Massssster."

The young woman arched an eyebrow, and re-traced her steps to the last portrait she'd stopped and talked to. She looked up at the man in the portrait as he smiled down at her, briefly. It was then that Amy noticed he had a black snake coiled around his arm. "Why issss ssssshe ssssstaring at ussss, Masssster?"

"Forgive me," Amy began, "I did not mean to sssstare." She briefly looked shocked at the fact that she was speaking in Parseltongue, but quickly dismissed her disbelief. She'd always known, deep down inside of herself, that she was capable of such a feat.

"Another ssspeaker?" The wizard in the portrait studied Amy carefully. "There haven't been many speakers at this school, girl. Tell me, what is your name?"

"Amy MacLeod, sir. And yours?"

The wizard in the painting laughed. "You mean you do not know? I would think it would be glaringly obvious from the fact that I not only understood you in Parseltongue, but I responded in it as well."

A light bulb seemed to go off above Amy's head. "Oh! You must be Salazar Slytherin!"

He inclined his head slightly, "Yesssss, my lady. It isssss an honor to meet you."

"The honor issssss all mine, Lord Sssslytherin."

"What is going on here?" That silky voice broke Amy from her trance.

She whirled around to see the Potions Master. "Ah, Professssssor Sssssnape. How good of you to join ussssss."

A flash of fear appeared in his eyes before it was gone again, though he paled slightly (and there's nothing you can really do to hide that). "What is the meaning of this?" he ground out through clenched teeth.

"Meaning of what, Professssor?"

"Ssssnake-child." Amy looked up at the portrait of Slytherin, "You were speaking to him in Parseltongue."

Amy's eyes widened before she started giggling. She turned back to the Potions Master, collecting herself. "I'm so sorry, Professor Snape. I didn't even realize I wasn't speaking in English. It seems I'm a Parselmouth, and I was just having a wonderful conversation with the Lord Slytherin."

"Please, Syashiea, call me Salazar."

She nodded and gave the portrait a small curtsy. Amy then turned to Snape and hooked her arm around his, dragging him away from the painting. "What did he call you?" Normally the Potions Master would've yelled at the girl for her audacity to drag him anywhere, but his curiosity had overcome him.

"It means 'little snake girl', roughly translated. For snakes, it's the way a female offspring would be addressed."

"So, it could also be translated, roughly, as 'daughter'?"

Amy smiled brightly at Snape and nodded. "Yes, it could. Most definitely."

"I see." Snape pondered that little tid-bit for a moment. The portrait of Salazar Slytherin wasn't very friendly to most people, save for the students in his own house, the Headmaster, Potter, and Snape himself. For Slytherin to be referring to the girl beside him as 'daughter' was something quite significant. Snape made a mental note to mention it to the Headmaster at lunch.

"Shouldn't you be trying to bash knowledge into some thick skulls right about now, by the way?"

Snape smirked down at her (she was shorter than himself, sure, but most people were – the girl was fairly tall... for a girl). "Actually, Miss MacLeod, I happen to have this period free. Normally I spend it grading papers, but I sensed something was off in my dungeons." She looked at him curiously. "Somehow I knew you were down here, and I knew that if I left you to your own devices for too long, the dungeons would suffer the consequences."

"I do believe I resent that remark, Professor."

And Snape believed she did resent that specific remark, but he also believed that she enjoyed his teasing. This fact was much to his liking. It wasn't often that he found himself a willing victim to be on the receiving end of his razor-sharp wit. Eventually the pair made it to the Potions room where he promptly began giving Amy a potions lesson. To his great surprise, she seemed to excel at the subject.

Maybe she isn't so bad after all, he thought to himself.


Eleanor had quickly located the Defense classroom, and was more than pleased to find it devoid of any students. She sauntered in, looking at the various dark creatures and dark arts detectors that littered the room. "Ah, Miss Jolie. It's a pleasure to see you again."

She spun quickly, not surprised at all by Potter's presence. "I bet," she winked at Potter and sat down on the desk beside her. "This is a free period for you, I assume?"

"That's correct, Ms. Jolie."

"Please, Eleanor, Ella, or the Lady, if you would."

Potter quirked an eyebrow at her, "The Lady?" He grinned, "How did you earn that title?"

Eleanor smirked, "I was born with it, Professor Potter."

"Harry, please." Eleanor nodded, and he continued, "So, you mentioned at breakfast that you and your friends arrived here late last night. Might I inquire as to the circumstances of your arrival?"

She shrugged, "As far as we can tell, we were sucked through some sort of rift in the fabric of space-time... We're from a parallel universe, or something of that sort."

Harry quirked his eyebrow again, "That's very interesting." He paused, contemplating for a moment, "You're from a parallel universe?" Ella nodded once, "But you seem so familiar with our world..."

The girl, no, the woman before him smirked again, "I've read about your world."

"You mean people know that there are parallel universes...?"

"No, I mean this world is from a set of children's books written by a British woman." Eleanor leaned back casually.

Harry's brow furrowed, slightly confused, "Books?"

"Yes, Harry. This wonderful woman is in the process of writing seven books... five of them have been completed and published. They chronicle the school years of The Boy Who Lived."

He cringed at titled, "Do they now?"

She nodded, "They do. And from what little information the Headmaster has let slip, they are quite accurate. I can only surmise that someone from your world recent passed into mine and has basically published the story of your life."

Harry grimaced and sighed. "It figures."

Ella hopped off the desk and walked up to him, "Don't worry about it. No one believes it's real where I'm from. In fact," she smirked, "I do believe that the only person in the entirety of my world who did believe it all to be real has come here as well."

He gave her a questioning look. "Oh? And who might that be?"

"Amy." Eleanor giggled a bit, "She's a bit... nuts... but loveable! And hey, not she's not as insane because this is all, in fact, real."

Harry laughed, running a hand through his messy black hair. "Well, how about I give you a bit of a tour? Even though I'm sure you've got some sense of where everything is."

"Sounds lovely, Harry." And with that, Eleanor and Harry left the Defense classroom to explore the castle.


Cassie had been wandering aimlessly for a while now. She figured that it was getting close to lunchtime, and she should probably try to find the Great Hall. But the problem was that she had absolutely no fucking clue where she was.

Nope. Not a clue.

Sighing in frustration she leaned against one of the walls. She was starting to get hungry, damnit, and she couldn't fathom now why she had agreed to be left on her own in the castle. "A little lost?"

Cassie was a bit started, but relaxed when she saw that it was only Professor Lupin. "A bit... For some reason I agreed to let Ella and Amy leave me to my own devices in this huge fucking castle."

Lupin chuckled softly, gesturing with his hand, "Why don't we head down to the Great Hall. It's nearly lunch, and I've got a bit of free time today. I could show you around afterwards, so that you might become a bit more acquainted with the castle."

She smiled and nodded, moving next to him. "Sounds good to me."

They walked in silence for a while before Cassie spoke up again, "So are you teaching here now? Or do you just bum around the castle?"

He chuckled softly again, grinning at the young woman beside him. "I'm not a teacher right now, but I certainly don't just 'bum around' the castle. I'm the school counselor, now."

"Oh." Cassie nodded. That made sense. The school would've needed a counselor during and after the war. "That's cool." She noticed out of the corner of her eye that Lupin nodded.

Silence resumed between the two of them. But it was not an uncomfortable, awkward silence. It was a familiar, soothing silence. They were both content to listen to the silence as they made their way towards the Great Hall.

Lupin cleared his throat and glanced at Cassie, "So what subject do you think the Headmaster is going to have you assist?"

Cassie shrugged, "I don't know. But it better not be Divination. I fucking hate how people think I'm psychic, and Trelawny is a fraud."

He chuckled and nodded, "Better make sure he doesn't hear you say that. He has this tendency to do exactly what you don't want him to."

"I'll keep that in mind."

They arrived at the Great Hall, and Cassie noted that three extra places had been set at the Head Table. Those places were exactly where the three girls had sat that morning. Cassie also noted that Ella and Harry were chatting amiably, and it seemed that Snape was doing quite well in tolerating Amy. She smiled at her friends as she sat beside Professor Lupin, just down a ways from Eleanor.

"Cassie!" Eleanor called, "Guess who teaches Muggle Studies and Ancient Runes!"

"Who?" She looked over to Eleanor.

Lupin chuckled next to her, "The Professors Weasley do, of course."

Sure enough, next to Ella and Potter were Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger (who was now, obviously, Hermione Weasley). Cassie raised an eyebrow, "Now that's something I wasn't expecting."


A/N: Yeah. I sort of just made up "Syashiea" off the top of my head. I thought it sounded nifty. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! A HUGE thanks to AquaCherry66 for her kind and encouraging reviews. I hope you like this chapter as much as the previous ones!